Confessions of a Kleptomaniac

by Jessica Sorensen

  My head whips up, and I scan the sea of faces, realizing how badly I’ve messed up by holding hands with Grey out in the open.

  “Luna, what’s wrong?” Grey asks with concern.

  I wiggle my fingers from his grip and hug my arms around myself. “Someone saw us holding hands and reported it back to my mom.” My thoughts sink to what they’re going to do to me, and that pressure builds in my chest again, smothering the air from my lungs.

  I glance at the nearest store, desperate to go in there and fill my pockets with temporary relief. Just one more time. That’s all I need.

  His expression fills with frustration. “That’s such bullshit. It’s nobody’s damn business what we’re doing.” He snatches hold of my hand again and steers me in the direction of the store, but he goes past it, heading toward the diner.

  “Where are we going?” I ask, jogging to keep up with his long strides.

  “We have fifteen minutes left until break’s over,” he says determinedly. “That’s enough time to fill out a couple of job applications.”

  “But how do you know who’s hiring?”

  “Because I spent days applying to every place that was hiring, but people wouldn’t even give me the time of the day because of that whole stupid shoplifting thing. You, however, should be able to get a job easily.” I open my lips, but he cuts me off. “Yeah, I know. You shoplifted, too, but no one knows about that, and you don’t need to tell them.”

  “But what if I try to steal something? Because I kind of want to now.”

  “Well, right now you’re with me.” He stops in front of the diner and cups my face between his hands. “And working here, I don’t think you’ll have that big of a problem. Besides, I think it might be easier to control your compulsion when your parents aren’t controlling you.”

  He’s right, and even if he isn’t, I won’t know until I try.

  Squaring my shoulders, I open the door and take my first step toward freedom. Crossing my fingers, I pray I can ride out the storm at home until I get everything put together.

  After we leave work Saturday night, I don’t see Luna for the rest of the weekend. She does send me a couple of texts on Sunday to let me know she’s alive and that no one has physically harmed her. I reply, asking her if they’ve verbally harmed her, to which she responded, I can handle it.

  I can handle it? She can handle it? Her words echo in my head for the rest of the day while I work on packing up my stuff.

  The buyers of our home threw in some bonus cash if we could be out in two weeks. Wanting the extra money, my mom agreed, so we’ve been running around the house like a bunch of chickens with our heads cut off, trying to put everything in order.

  My mom forces us to take a break at dinnertime to go see our new place, though.

  “I know it’s kind of small,” she says to Mia and me as we roam around the three bedroom, two bathroom apartment. “But it’s cheap and will really help us get on our feet again.”

  Mia grimaces as she pokes her head into one of the bedrooms. “There’s barely enough space for my bed,” she grumbles.

  Fortunately, my mom is too busy looking at the cupboard space to hear her.

  “I know it sucks,” I say, reclining against the wall. “But right now, we just need to be grateful that we have a roof over our head.”

  “Yeah, I know.” She sighs as she slumps against the wall across from me. “And at least we’ll have more money now, right?”

  “Maybe a little bit more.” I tread with caution. “But I don’t think things are ever going to be like they were when Dad was alive, and Mom needs us to be okay with that. She’s under a lot of stress.”

  “I know, but it’s hard sometimes. I miss how things were when everyone was happy all the time.”

  “Me, too. But I think things will get easier with time.”

  “I hope so.”

  “So, what do you guys think?” My mom asks as she walks down the hallway toward us with a hopeful look on her face.

  Mia and I exchange a look then turn to her and smile.

  “I love it.” Mia skips up to her and encloses her arms around Mom. “Thanks, Mom.”

  Mom pats Mia’s head, confused. “For what?”

  “For making sure we didn’t end up homeless,” Mia says, looking up at her.

  My mom’s eyes water, and then she reaches out and yanks me into their hug. “We’re going to get through this. Things will get better.”

  “I know they will.” I wrap my arms around them and hug them both. “Mom, you’re doing a good job,” I feel the need to say. “I know things are complicated and different, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes changes can turn into something good.”

  Maybe it’s Luna’s optimism wearing off on me, but I mean what I say. The last four or five months have been difficult and full of change, and not all of those changes have been great. Losing my dad was the hard, and watching my mom struggle breaks my heart. But changing myself—trying to be a better person—has been my good through the bad.

  Yeah, there’s been a lot of ups and downs happening at school, but compared to the stuff going on with my family, school drama has been the easy part. It’s given me a chance to grow and move away from the life where I surrounded myself with people who made me unhappy.

  I’m feeling pretty okay with life in general by the time my mom, sister, and I return home. But, as I’m getting ready to go to bed, I receive a text message.

  Since my contacts didn’t transfer over when I got my new phone, it takes me a moment to figure out who the message is from.

  Unknown: U r taking me to the dance.

  Just one simple sentence, but it carries weight.

  Me: Who is this?

  Unknown: The person who’s going to destroy your girlfriend if you don’t take me to the dance.

  Me: Piper?

  Unknown: Duh. Who else would this be?

  My jaw ticks.

  Me: Why can’t u just get Logan to take u to the dance? U two seem pretty into each other.

  Piper: Jealous?

  Me: U wish.

  Piper: Don’t pretend like u don’t miss me. I might not be some sweet, little, innocent freak, but I do have my perks, something u used to take advantage of every time we were alone.

  Me: Things change. I don’t want that anymore.

  Piper: Yeah, right. Every guy wants only that.

  Me: Every guy who’s a jerk does.

  Piper: Whatever. I was just messaging you so we could make plans for when you’re going to pick me up and make our pre-dance plans. We better do something amazing. No stupid dinner or anything cheap like that.

  Me: I’m not going to the dance with u. Let. It. Go.

  Piper: Oh, Grey, you were always kind of stupid, weren’t u? I mean, u never even realized I was fucking Logan behind your back pretty much the entire time we were going out.

  Okay, that stings a little, but I quickly shake it off.

  Me: Good for u two. I’m glad u found each other.

  Piper: Whatever. I know u care, just like u care if I tell the entire school about your girlfriend’s dirty, little secret. I gotta say, I didn’t think she had it in her.

  Me: What r u talking about?

  Piper: I heard u and Luna talking on Beck’s deck the other night about how she feels like she has to steal because her parents are so mean. She really needs to be more careful when she tells her sob story.

  Me: U better not do anything to her, Piper, or I swear to God I’ll end you.

  Piper: Like u could. U know as well as I do that I have everyone at the school so damn afraid of me they’ll do whatever I tell them to. So, if I tell them to break Luna apart, they’ll do it because they’ll be too afraid to go against everyone else. And I think the store owners would love to hear about the sweet, little, church girl who’s been ripping them off, too.

  My heart thrashes in my chest as I sink onto my bed and grip the living daylights out of my phone. “Fuck. This is all my fault
.” Piper wouldn’t be going after Luna if she wasn’t pissed off at me.

  Me: What do u want?

  Piper: U know what I want, Grey. I’ve spelled it out for you enough.

  I flex my fingers, trying to control my temper.

  Me: So, if I take you to the dance, u will leave Luna alone?

  Piper: U have my word.

  Me: Ur word means jack shit.

  Piper: Guess you’ll just have to trust me that this time I’m being honest. Oh, and I expect u to wear a pale pink tie and cummerbund just like we talk about.

  Me: I still don’t get why u r doing this. If u were screwing around with Logan, then clearly u never really cared about me.

  Piper: I’m doing this because I can and because u broke up with me. I hate when I don’t get my way, but worse, I hate when people think they’re better than me when they’re not. U were never a good boyfriend, but I stuck it out with you because you were hot and popular. I should’ve been the one to break up with you.

  Rage waves through me, and I chuck the phone across the room.

  “Goddammit!” I get up and pace the room. “What the hell am I going to do?”

  Deep down, I know exactly what I’ll end up doing. I’ll take Piper to the dance because suffering through one night with her is worth protecting Luna from months of torture.

  I tell Piper I’ll take her to the dance the next morning, and she agrees to keep Luna out of this stupid battle going on between the two of us. The worst part is still ahead of me, though, because I have to inform Luna that not only does the most vindictive person in our high school know her secret, but I’m going to take her to the dance.

  It feels like sophomore year all over again as I head for the grassy area in front of the school where Luna and her friends hang out during the mornings and afternoons.

  Luna texted me a few minutes ago, saying she’d be there. I wanted to reply that I couldn’t wait to see her, but I felt too nervous and guilty. My guilt only grows when she smiles at me.

  “I was starting to wonder if you got my message,” she says, looking happy to see me.

  I stop just short of her, drinking her in. She’s wearing a pair of red shorts and a black tank top that matches her boots. The outfit shows off her long legs and the freckles on her shoulders, freckles which I kissed the other night.

  I finally drag my eyes off her, but then instantly shift my weight when I notice the gazes of Willow, Ari, and Wynter scrutinizing me.

  “I did. I was going to text you back, but I was driving,” I tell Luna.

  “Oh.” Luna pats the spot next to her, and I drop my bag onto the ground then pause before I sit down.

  “Mind if I sit with you guys?” I ask the three of them.

  Wynter trades a questioning look with Willow who casts a curious glance at Ari.

  Ari shrugs, like why are you guys looking at me? “Sure. The more the merrier.”

  I sit down behind Luna and slide a leg on each side of her, earning a look of approval from Wynter. I play with Luna’s hair, tangling my fingers through it as she and her friends talk about what they’re going to do at lunch.

  “I can leave campus,” Luna says to Wynter, relaxing back against my chest, “but I need to be careful that no one sees me.”

  Wynter slides her legs out from under her to stretch them out in the sunlight peeking through the tree branches above our head. “I can’t wait until you don’t have to hide anymore.”

  “Me, either,” Luna agrees. “It’s going to be soon, too.”

  Wynter smiles then turns to Willow and starts telling her that she should move in with them, too.

  I circle my arms around her and put my lips beside Luna’s ear. “Soon, huh?”

  She bobs her head up and down. “I got the job at the diner. I start this weekend, which gives me the entire week to finish helping Benny shred his crazy amount of papers before I start my new job.”

  “How do your parents feel about that?”

  “They don’t know yet, and with what happened over the weekend, I’m not going to tell them.”

  I trace circles on her shoulder. “What happened exactly?”

  She tips up her chin, meeting my gaze. “They told me they were shipping me off to an all girls’ boarding school.”

  “What?”

  “It’s not going to happen. They’re sending me away in a couple of weeks, which gives me a couple of weeks to get everything set up to move out.” She anxiously chews on her lip. “I’m scared, though, that they’ll somehow find out what I’m doing before I get out.”

  “You could always just come stay with me until you’re ready to move in with Wynter,” I offer, pulling her more tightly against me.

  She laughs a little. “While I appreciate the offer, I don’t think you’re ready to handle me twenty four seven, and I’d never want to impose on your family like that.”

  “You wouldn’t be imposing. My mom would probably be happy that I was helping you out. She’s actually the one who encouraged me to give you that long-ass apology I gave you the other night.”

  “You talk to your mom about me?”

  “I talk to her about a lot of stuff, including you. She wants to meet you sometime.”

  “I’d really like that,” she says with a trace of nerves. “I just hope she likes me.”

  “How could she not?” I brush my finger down the brim of her nose.

  “I don’t know. If you told her everything about me, she might not.”

  “She understands people make mistakes. She has me as a son, doesn’t she?” Sighing, I move my arms from around her and scoot back. “I really need to talk to you about something? But not here in the open.” I stand up and offer her my hand. “Walk with me to my car?”

  Nodding, she places her hand in mine, and I lift her to her feet. Right as we’re about to walk off, though, all hell breaks loose.

  It starts when Beck joins the circle, sitting down between Wynter and Willow. “Hello, my lovely comrades? What a fine day we’re having. Don’t you all agree?”

  “Beck, are you high already?” Luna hisses under her breath, glaring at him.

  He presses his hand to his chest, feigning hurt. “Luna, I’m insulted that you’d think, just because I’m happy, I’d have to be high.” He drapes an arm around Willow’s shoulder, grinning. “The only thing I’m high on is life.”

  Wynter snorts a laugh, while Willow seems like a skittish animal, ready to flee. “You’re so high,” Wynter says to Beck.

  Beck shoots Wynter the nastiest look I’ve ever seen, but the look fades as Willow ducks out from Beck’s arm, grabs her stuff, and jumps to her feet.

  “I have to go.” She dashes toward the school.

  “What was that about?” Wynter mutters, watching her friend practically run away from their circle.

  Beck stares after her. “I think I fucked up,” he says then stands up and runs after Willow.

  “I knew them dancing like that was going to cause drama,” Ari mumbles, shaking his head.

  “They’ll get over it. They always do,” Luna tries to reassure him, but I can feel the tension in her fingers as she turns to me. “Ready?”

  I nod and then we walk back across the grass toward the parking lot. We remain quiet, and I know she has to be worried that something’s wrong; I can see it on her face. I want to assure her everything’s fine, but I can’t get the lie to leave my lips.

  After we get into my car, I free a trapped breath and just spit it out. “Piper texted me last night.”

  She bites her nails, which I’m starting to notice is a nervous habit of hers. “Okay . . . ? I’m not sure what to say to that.”

  “You don’t need to say anything.” I take her hand, holding onto her, and rip off the Band-Aid, telling her what happened.

  She shakes her head a thousand times after I finish telling her, but doesn’t utter a word.

  “Please say something,” I beg her, desperate for her to tell me that everything will be okay, that she c
an forgive me for getting her into this mess.

  “No,” is all she says.

  “No, what?” I tighten my hold on her, afraid she’s going to bolt.

  “No, you’re not going to do this,” she says with fierce determination.

  I’ve never seen Luna look so angry before, and it startles me a little. “Luna, I know it’s really bad, but I have to do this. If I don’t, then Piper will—”

  “Screw Piper and her threats,” she cuts me off, scooting across the seat until our knees are touching. “I’ve spent my whole life putting up with people like Piper, and I’m getting really tired of bowing down all the time. I don’t want to be a coward anymore. I want to face this, just like I’m going to do with my parents.”

  “But what if she tells everyone?”

  “Then she tells everyone. Words can only affect you if you let them, and I’ve let words affect me way too much over my life. I’ve let them control me, make me afraid, make me question what kind of person I am, and I don’t want that anymore.”

  “I don’t want that for you, either.” I cup her cheek, caressing her skin with my fingertips. “But what if she tells the store owners?”

  A soft breath trembles from her lips. “I’ll deal with that if it happens, but Piper doesn’t have any proof that I actually stole anything, so the store owners can’t do anything to me other than look at me differently. And I guess that can be my penance for making the choices I did.”

  I love her self-confidence, but I’m still unsure if I want to see her go through this.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask. “Because a dance is just one night, but Piper could drag this thing on for months.”

  “Even if you did go to the dance with her, that still doesn’t guarantee she won’t say anything to anyone.” She mulls over something, sucking her lip between her teeth. “Grey, I only want you to go to the dance with Piper if you want to go with her. Don’t do it to protect me.”

  “I didn’t even want to go to the dance with her when I was dating her.” My fingers slip through her hair and spread across the back of her head. Her eyelashes flutter as I draw her toward me. “I kind of had my sights set on someone else.”