Confessions of a Kleptomaniac

by Jessica Sorensen

  “I might not be part of your family, but I can be part of hers.” Ashlynn looks at me. “I’ll be a part of her life as long as she lets me.”

  “That’s not going to happen,” my mom snaps. “Luna knows the rules. She knows she’ll be kicked out if she continues to see you.”

  “I want to continue seeing her.” My voice sounds small, but at least I got the words out. “And I’m going to. She’s my sister.”

  “She’s not your sister.” She targets her rage on me. “She gave up the privilege when she started the fire.”

  “You mean the fire she saved me from.” I carry her gaze, even though I’m scared to death. But she needs to see that I know, see that I care, see who I am and what choice I’m making.

  “Her bad choices are what started the fire.” My mom places her hands on the table, leans in toward me, and lowers her voice. “If you don’t get up right this second, we’re done. You are never to come home, and you will never speak to your father or me again. You have already embarrassed this family enough.”

  I hide my shaky hands beneath the table. “I’m staying here.”

  My mom fiercely breathes in and out before pushing away from the table. “Fine. You’ve made your choice. Have a nice life, Luna. I hope you can live with your poor decision.” She glances around the restaurant, suddenly aware that every customer is staring at her. She takes a moment to fix her hair then lifts her chin and turns her back on us.

  I have a feeling that I might not see her again for a while, and I hate to admit it, but it makes me feel sad. I’m sad things turned out this way, sad she can’t love me enough unless I’m the perfect daughter.

  “Are you all right?” Ashlynn asks after my—our—mom is gone.

  I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat as I wipe up the spilt water with a napkin. “That was a long time coming.”

  “It’s still hard, though. Trust me. I know. But it’ll get easier. You’ll be able to find yourself now, become your own person, set your own standards that don’t revolve around them, the church, or grandma and grandpa. And one day, you’ll look back at this and know you made the right choice.” She offers me a comforting smile then flags down the waitress to order some tea to calm me down.

  I hope she’s right. I hope, when I look back at this moment in my life, I can see myself as more than the afraid, lost girl I feel like right now.

  “What are you going to do?” she asks after the waitress leaves to put in our orders. “Do you have somewhere to live? Because I’m getting a place in Fair Hollow. I actually just got a teaching job there. If you need to, you can come stay with me.”

  “Thanks for the offer, but I want to finish school here. I have a friend I was planning on moving in with, anyway. That wasn’t supposed to happen for another week, but I’m sure she won’t care if it’s sooner.” I feel so tired, like I’m about to crash. “I want to see you again, though. You’re the only family I have left.”

  “I’ll visit every weekend, and you can come visit me,” she says. “I’m not going anywhere, Luna. I’m not going to let you go through this alone.”

  Alone.

  No, I’m not alone at all. I have a lot of people who care about me.

  Two hours later, my sister drops me off at Wynter’s house. I hate parting ways with her already, but she says she needs to get back to Fair Hollow because she has a flight to catch early in the morning. But saying good-bye is easier after she promises to drive out next weekend to see me.

  “And I want to hear more about these friends of yours,” she says as she parks the car in front of Wynter’s house. “And Grey. You seem to really like him.”

  “I do. He’s really easy to talk to.” I unclip my seatbelt. “He actually knows more about me than most people.”

  “I’m glad you have people in your life,” she says. “I always worried that you’d be stuck alone in that house with Mom and Dad, and they’d wear you down.”

  “It felt like they were sometimes,” I admit. “My friends were always my light in the dark tunnel if that makes any sense.”

  “It makes perfect sense.” She leans over the console to hug me good-bye.

  Then I get out of the car and head for the pool house around back. As I hike up the driveway, I message Grey to tell him where I am. He doesn’t respond, probably because he’s too busy working. Still, I feel this overpowering need to talk to him and tell him everything, and I hope I get to see him soon so I can.

  When Wynter throws the door open, she greets me with a giant hug.

  “I’m so sorry,” she says, squeezing the air out of me. “I can’t believe they lied to you about that. I mean, who does that?”

  “Psychotic control freaks,” I say through a yawn.

  She pulls away, motioning for me to get my ass inside. “Man, you must be taking this hard if you’re using words like psychotic and freaks.”

  I shrug and flop down on the bed. “I’ve given up on trying to hide what my parents are. They may want to, but after today, I think half the town is going to change their opinion on how put-together the Harveys are.”

  She lies down on the bed beside me. “It was that bad, huh?”

  I tuck a pillow under my head. “She yelled in front of everyone. Seeing me there with my sister . . . I think it made her snap.”

  “That’s her own damn fault.”

  “I know.”

  She gets up to turn the fan on then returns to the bed. “I’m glad you’re here, though. We’ll have fun living together.”

  “Are you sure your parents don’t care that I live here for a while?”

  “I’m positive. Now stop worrying and take a nap while I go start packing up my clothes and stuff,” she says, pushing up onto her elbows. “You look so exhausted, Lu.”

  “I am exhausted.” It’s been an exhausting day, an exhausting year, an exhausting life. The crazy part is that it feels like I’m just getting started, like this is the actual starting point to my life.

  And it’s time for me to start living it how I want to.

  Starting with taking a nap.

  When I wake up again, the room is dark, and a solid chest is pressed up against my back. At first, I think it’s Wynter, but how awkward would that be if my best friend was spooning me? Then I catch the faintest scent of cologne and soap, and a smile takes over my face as I roll over and nuzzle closer to Grey.

  “You’re awake,” he murmurs, his lips moving against my forehead.

  “Yeah.” I rest my head against the crook of his neck. “How’d you get in here?”

  “Wynter let me in,” he murmurs, “after she made me promise I wouldn’t wake you up by doing anything sexual.”

  Thank God it’s dark because my cheeks flame hot. “She has no filter.”

  “It’s fine,” he says, stroking his finger up and down my arm. “It gave me a little self-control, anyway. If she’d never said it, who knows what I would’ve done when I walked in and saw you lying in bed with your shirt up just enough to give me an eyeful.”

  I bite down on my lip. “I wasn’t flashing you when I was asleep,” I argue.

  “You totally were,” he teases. “Nice bra, by the way.”

  “Grey, that’s not funny.” I pinch his side when he laughs. “Did I really flash you?”

  “No, I was just teasing you.” His laughter settles down. “You actually looked pretty peaceful when I walked. And completely out of it.”

  “I haven’t been sleeping very well,” I admit it. “I’ve been too stressed out that my parents would find out that I was going to move out before I actually got out, and that . . . Well, I’m glad I didn’t have to find out what would’ve happened if they caught on to my plan. After seeing my mom lose it today, and right there in the middle of a restaurant, I can only imagine what would’ve happened if we’d been behind closed doors.”

  “They’ll never be able to hurt you again.” He slips his arms around to my back and urges me closer. “You’re safe now.”

  “I kn
ow . . . It’s just a lot to take in.” I can hear his heart beating steadily in his chest as silence sets in.

  The longer it remains quiet, the closer I get to dozing off again. Grey seems to have the same idea because, within minutes, his breathing turns soft.

  “Are you spending the night?” I ask softly.

  “If that’s okay with you. Wynter told me I could,” he murmurs. “But if you’re not comfortable with that, then I can go.”

  “No, stay,” I say with zero hesitation.

  “I’m glad you said that,” he whispers, kissing my lips. “Promise you’ll tell me everything that happened in the morning. I want to hear it, but I want you to get some sleep.”

  “I promise I’ll tell you everything.” I roll over and pull his arm over my side, aligning my back to his chest again.

  He chuckles, his breath dusting the back of my head. “You like the spooning thing, huh?”

  I nod my head up and down, realizing how comfortable I am, how much I like this. “I really do.”

  The truth is, I don’t know much about what I like. I know I love my friends. That one has been a given forever. I like music a lot, and one day I might want to do something with that, but I’m still not sure what. I like to dress fashionable without showing too much skin. I like my hair long. And I definitely like Grey. I like spooning with him, talking with him, fighting over a game with him.

  That might sound like a lot, but really, it feels like I have so much more to discover about myself. Am I scared? Heck, yes. I’m scared out of my damn mind. I never thought I’d be on my own before I got out of high school.

  For the first time in my life it feels like I can breathe, like the walls aren’t caving in on me, and all I’m doing is lying in bed with my boyfriend. There’s no helpless feeling stirring inside me, no compulsion to steal and take control. Will things be that way forever? I have no idea what the future holds for me, but one thing’s for sure.

  It’ll be my future.

  And I’m going to live it to the fullest.

  TWO WEEKS LATER . . .

  “Oh, my God! You look so beautiful,” my sister beams at me as she takes in the navy blue dress I’m wearing.

  The dress goes to my knees and elongates in the back, making me feel elegant. I topped off the look with strappy, velvet heels and wore my hair down because Grey loves to run his fingers through it.

  “Thanks for helping me pick out the dress,” I say to her as I look at my reflection in the mirror.

  For the first time in my life, I actually look happy, free, like myself.

  “I’m glad we actually could.” She starts cleaning up the makeup products she brought over. “I was so worried that somehow Mom and Dad were going to separate us again.”

  “That’ll never happen,” I assure her.

  The sad truth is, I haven’t heard from my mom or dad since the fight. They’ve cut all ties with me like they always told me they would if I didn’t turn out to be what they considered a great person. I tried to call them a couple of times, but after the third attempt, they changed their phone number. I wish I could say that it didn’t bother me, but it does. At the end of the day, they are still my parents, and I’m still their daughter. I wish that could’ve been enough, but like I know all too well, you can’t force people to change. They have to want to, and as of now, my parents care more about their beliefs than having a relationship with their daughters.

  “I can’t believe I’m wearing a dress to this,” Willow grumbles as she walks into the pool house.

  I eye over her strappy, red and black dress that flows to her knees. “You look nice, though.”

  “Thanks, but I still hate dresses.” She sinks down in a chair. “So, how long do you think we’re going to have to wait for Wynter to finish getting ready? My bet is at least another hour.”

  “Will you chill out!” Wynter shouts from the bathroom. “I’ll be out in a minute!”

  While we wait, I introduce Willow to my sister. The two of them talk for a bit, and then Willow asks me about the wall.

  I take great pride in the wall. In fact, I think it might be my most prized possession as of now. Wynter and I actually painted it after eating way too many bags of M&Ms and drinking an entire six pack of soda within an hour.

  “What? You don’t like it?” I slant my head to the side, examining my handiwork.

  “No, I like it.” Willow moves up beside me, fussing with a strap on her dress. “It kind of makes me feel out of control, you know. Like I could spin forever, yet at the same time, it kind of works as a whole.”

  “That’s kind of the point.” I trace my fingers along the psychedelic purple and black lines. “It kind of reminds me of us in a way. We’re all different, but when we’re together, we just sort of work.”

  “Aw, Lu, that’s so sweet.” She tears up a little, which is super weird for Willow.

  “Oh, my God! You don’t need to cry about it,” Wynter says as she overdramatically whisks out of the bathroom, dressed to impress in her floor length, shimmering white dress that matches the diamonds in her ears. “I said I’d be ready in a few minutes, didn’t I?”

  “She wasn’t crying over that,” I tell Wynter. “She was crying over the wall.”

  “Oh.” Wynter looks guilty. “Sorry, Wills.”

  “It’s okay,” Willow says, fiddling with a stud in her ear, “just as long as you do one thing for me.”

  Wynter picks up her clutch from the bed. “And what’s that?”

  She grasps the black and silver pendant of her necklace. “Stop bugging me about what happened with Beck.”

  “I’ll stop bugging you when you admit that you guys did more than just dirty dancing.” Wynter sits down on the unmade bed to slip on her heels.

  Willow crosses her arms. “How many times do I have to tell you that nothing happened?”

  “You can tell me a million times, and I’ll never believe it.” Wynter gathers her dress, stands up, and admires her reflection in the mirror. “You two have been acting way too awkward around each other.”

  “We have not,” Willow fires back.

  “Liar.” Wynter shuffles for the door.

  The two of them walk out, bickering, but hush when we reach the pool where the guys are waiting for us on the lounge chairs, dressed in tuxedos. The sun is sparkling in the sky, and the air smells better than it ever has

  “You look so adorable,” Wynter muses, taking the three of them in. “Like little teddy bears.”

  Beck mutters something under his breath, Ari shakes his head, but Grey ignores her. His gaze is fixed on me as he stands up and meets me in front of the hot tub, just out of earshot.

  “You look beautiful.” He grips my waist, hauls me to him, and seals his lips to mine.

  “So do you,” I say when we come up for air. “Or, I mean, handsome. I’m not sure guys like to be called beautiful.”

  He chuckles. “You can call me whatever you want when you look like that.” With our fingers entwined, we return to the group. “My mom made me promise that we’d stop by later so she can take some photos.”

  “My sister’s going to take some now,” I say, resting my head against his shoulder.

  He steals another glance at my dress again. “Yeah, but I think she just wants to see you in your dress.”

  I find myself smiling. I met Grey’s mom and sister a week ago, and they might just be the sweetest family I’ve ever met. They care about each other, and for some crazy reason, they seem okay with letting me be a small part of it. They have to know that I was kicked out, though, since half the town knows. But Grey assures me they don’t care, and they like me.

  His mom even helped him decorate the pool house with hundreds of lilies when he properly asked me to the dance. Wynter gushed over it for days, and I don’t blame her. It was kind of a magical day and helped erase the bad memory of when I asked Grey to the dance. Plus, the bed even still smells like flowers, which helps me fall asleep each night.

  After taking
a ton of photos, I say good-bye to my sister, and then the six of us head for the limo Beck rented. It’s parked in the driveway next to Grey’s car. He’s been working with his uncle to fix it up and while it still has a very rustic look to it, it’s not as dinged up as it was a few weeks ago. He’s mentioned a couple of times that he might sell it once it’s finished. I feel bad that he might have to get rid of something his father gave to him, but hopefully, the present I’m going to give him tonight will make it easier.

  Before I climb into the limo, I snag Beck’s sleeve and steer us away from the group, ignoring everyone’s questioning stares.

  “Did you bring it?” I ask when we’re far enough away from everyone.

  Beck hitches his thumb over his shoulder, pointing at the limo. “I put it in the front seat so you can get it whenever you’re ready to give it to him.”

  “Thank you!” I loop my arms around him and squeeze him tightly before skipping back to the group.

  “What was that about?” Grey asks as I duck into the limo.

  “I just needed to ask him something away from everyone else,” I say as I slide into the seat beside him.

  I can tell he wants to say more, but he doesn’t press. Grey never pushes me to tell him stuff when he can sense that I don’t want to. Almost always, though, I end up telling him.

  As we drive toward the school, we sip on champagne while Beck and Wynter argue about where we’re going to do afterward.

  “My place has the bigger television,” Wynter says. “We should go to my house.”

  “Why the hell would we watch TV on prom night?” Beck retorts. “Do you know how lame that is?”

  “About as lame as watching sports every stinking day,” Wynter quips with a sassy bob of her head.

  Beck’s head bobs back as he heaves a sigh. “It’s going to be a long night if she keeps going like this.”

  Thankfully, for Beck’s sake, Wynter gets distracted from arguing with him the moment we pull up to the school. We pile out of the limo one by one, and then everyone heads for the entrance. I catch Grey’s arm and tow him around to the front of the limo.