The Blurring

by Angela Peach

  The Blurring

  Angela Peach

  (2013)

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  Rating: ★★★★☆

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  " 'Do you remember me?' It was clearly a stupid question, but I couldn't think of anything else to say.

  'Yes. I remember you' her voice was barely a whisper, but I heard her above the ringing.

  'I've been looking for you for over two years. I've got so many questions!' Her eyes felt like they were staring into my soul, but it wasn't an unpleasant feeling. There was so much adrenaline racing through my veins, my heart felt like it was going to punch a hole through my chest, and I was so nervous I was having trouble drawing a breath. But the electricity between us was incredible! It was how I'd imagine getting caught in an electrical storm might feel with the very air crackling and fizzing around us. "

  For Tristen, life since a near fatal car accident two years previously couldn't have been more perfect. She had the ideal job, amazing friends and a dream boyfriend! She should have been happy.

  But the nightmares? Every night, she relives the crash over and over again, and she is convinced it's because of the mysterious beautiful girl who saved her life...then disappeared. Tristen becomes obsessed with finding her, desperate for answers.

  But when she finally does find her, nothing could have prepared either of them for the impact it would have on their lives. When reality starts to twist and blur around her, Tristen is faced with the burning question; is it all really happening, or is she just going crazy?

  The

  Blurring

  By

  Angela Peach

  CHAPTER 1

  “So is Pluto a planet or not?” I asked, glancing in my rear view mirror at Darren. He’d been talking about Pluto being demoted for the last ten minutes, although I hadn’t really been paying much attention. I found the guy dull beyond belief and had no idea what my best mate Kelly saw in him.

  “It’s now referred to as a dwarf planet” he said, almost smugly. I bit my lip to avoid a sarcastic reply.

  Thing is, it wasn’t the subject matter that was boring me, because I’d been the one to bring it up! It was, plainly and very simply, him. I hated conversing with him because he could make my brain switch off after literally three or four words, or sometimes just from drawing a breath to speak! I was only trying to make an effort for Kelly’s sake, although I doubted if she’d have done the same for me.

  “I said it’s now called a dwarf planet” Darren repeated, as if I hadn’t heard.

  “Oh wow! So they really changed it then! I can totally see what all the fuss was about” I said, with as much sarcasm as I could muster.

  “I know, right?”

  As expected, it was completely lost on him and I could feel my frustration rising so I took a deep breath to regain my composure.

  “Kel, we still going out tomorrow night?” I asked, changing the subject quickly.

  “Oh yeah, about that” she started to say, and I groaned inwardly. I recognised the tone-she was about to let me down again. “Can we take a rain check on it?”

  “Yeah, whatever” I muttered through gritted teeth, fixing my stare on the road ahead. Even though I’d sort of expected her to let me down, I didn’t think she actually would. It just meant that, as usual, she’d forgotten it was the anniversary of my brother’s death.

  As she did every fucking year.

  “I’ll take you out babe” Steve said, putting his hand on my knee. I forced a smile and looked at him quickly.

  “Ok, sure.”

  I was silent as I drove, not trusting myself to speak. I could feel my bad mood escalating and I was becoming increasingly pissed off at everyone in the car. They didn’t seem to notice and chattered obliviously between themselves, but I wasn’t listening. I was instead trying to work out the nicest possible way to tell Steve, who I’d been seeing for seven months, that I wanted to break up with him. It was a tricky one-I had no solid reason other than that I wasn’t in love with him. Nor was I attracted to him in the slightest, and I blamed him bitterly for my sex drive dwindling down to an idle. No, it was verging on stalling and I wanted it to be roaring, with the revs threatening to tear the engine apart!

  The weird thing was, he was gorgeous and came with a reputation for being amazing in bed (according to his ex, a vague friend of mine who’d told me I was one very lucky lass for bagging him.) But no matter how hard I’d tried, (and believe me I tried really hard) I just didn’t feel it!

  I’d managed to think as far as “Steve, we need to talk” when I noticed a car appear out of nowhere on the road up ahead. It had just pulled out to overtake a lorry and was hurtling toward us at a ridiculous speed. My foot slammed on the brakes, even though I knew it was useless. We were going to hit. I heard screams, then

  BANG!

  Confused and unsure of what exactly had happened, I could hear someone shouting but they sounded far away. I gradually became aware that I was in a lot of pain all over and coughed, tasting blood. I tried to spit it out, but felt it dribble down my chin. With my left hand, I tried to locate my seatbelt release button and although it took a lot longer than normal because of the amount of pain I was in, I managed to press it.

  “Hey! Can you hear me? Oh my god, look, I’m going to get you out of there, ok? Just hold on!” A female voice shouted, then I heard my door being opened and felt hands frantically pulling at me, turning the pain up to an excruciating level. I screamed out and the woman apologised, but carried on. She dragged me along the road before resting me gently on a softer surface.

  “Can you hear me? What’s your name?” she asked, placing her fingers on my neck to check for a pulse. With effort, I opened my eyes and saw a stunningly beautiful woman with long dark hair and concerned brown eyes staring at me. She smiled, relieved. “Hey, you’re awake! An ambulance is coming! You’re going to be ok! What’s your name sweetie?”

  I moved my mouth to say my name, but found I couldn’t. Everything went black as I sank back into darkness, and the last thing I heard was the woman shouting at me to hold on.

  I sat up in bed, the scream of terror turning to a strangled cry as my eyes searched wildly around. My heart was pounding in my chest and I was bathed in a light sheen of sweat. As I tried to get my ragged breathing back in control, I looked down at Nick who was still fast asleep. He was getting better at sleeping through my nightmares now, much to my relief. But then, I was also getting better at hiding them.

  I quietly slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom. After I’d washed my face with cold water, I studied my reflection in the mirror. My naturally blonde hair was stuck to my face and looked messy having escaped the ponytail I’d put it in before bed. My blue eyes were tired and bloodshot, sick of the nightmares that had plagued me every single night for two years since the accident.

  It was always the same dream. I’d tried everything from sleeping pills to alcohol, strong cheeses to meditation, and even counselling, but nothing had worked. It seemed like I was doomed to relive the accident every night for the rest of my life. The worst thing about it was that it just plain terrified me to the same extent each time. Whenever I woke up, it took a good couple of minutes to ascertain that I was still alive and not in a hospital bed.

  I’d been seeing Nick for twenty one months now, and at first he’d been just as terrified as me when I’d woken him up screaming and thrashing about in the middle of the night. But instead of being put off by the constant awakenings, he’d stuck by me and given me so much support, I sometimes questioned if he was real and not a figment of my imagination! Really, he was just too good to be true! Thinking back, I couldn’t believe I’d bagged him. I mean, I’d been in love with him since the age of eleven, and had worshipped him throughout all my school
years with a loyal passion. When school ended, I never really got over my crush on him and managed to keep track of him via Facebook. The hours I’d spent looking through his photos were uncountable! I’d watched his black floppy hair grow long, get shaved off, bleached (my least favourite) and re-grow again, followed him as he holidayed in Thailand and Ibiza, and studiously ignored every single girl he’d been photographed with.

  I thought back to how we’d met. Once I’d recovered from the accident, I’d been so grateful to be alive that I’d thrown myself into making the most out of my life. I’d always wanted to be an interior designer and while walking through town one day, I’d seen a small company with an advert in their window looking for a trainee. I went in to ask for more details, and ended up having an on the spot interview which impressed the manager so much, she offered me the position then and there on a six month probation period! On leaving the shop, I’d quite literally bumped into Nick. Buzzing from the job offer, and completely elated that he remembered who I was from school, I had invited him to join me for a celebratory drink. We’d been seeing each other ever since.

  I went into the bathroom cupboard and retrieved the sleeping tablets I’d hidden from Nick-he didn’t know I still needed to take them, and most nights I didn’t. However, this week was the anniversary of both my brother Alex’s death, and the accident. I popped half a pill onto my tongue hoping it would be enough for me to get some sleep yet not be too groggy for work. As I dry swallowed it, I grimaced at the bitter taste and caught my eyes in the mirror.

  I look so sad.

  I shook my head at myself. Of course I looked sad. Once this week was over, I’d be fine. I tip toed back to bed and snuggled up to Nick.

  But even as I closed my eyes, I knew the sadness went far deeper into my soul and I didn’t know why. I had everything I could ever want.

  My life was perfect.

  “Are you fucking kidding? Why the hell do you want to go back to the psychiatrist?” Alice asked incredulously.

  “Because she said the nightmares would taper out eventually…but they haven’t” I admitted, avoiding her gaze. Alice, my best friend, had insisted on meeting me for lunch every day this week knowing the double anniversary would be hard on me. Today we were eating fish and chips before I returned to work.

  “Whoa, hold on a second. You’re still having the nightmares? You told me months ago they’d stopped.”

  “I know.”

  “You said that if you and Nick had passionate sex before bed, you were able to sleep through.”

  “I lied.”

  “Jesus Tris, why didn’t you say anything?” Alice put a greasy hand on my arm and gave it a gentle squeeze. Her brown eyes were full of concern, and I wondered if now was the right time to tell her she was dangling her long fair hair into the ketchup on her fish.

  “I am saying something. This is me saying something.”

  “You know what I mean. I’m your best friend babe. Why didn’t you come and talk to me before?”

  I sighed. I’d hoped she wouldn’t ask this, mainly because I didn’t really know myself.

  “I guess I thought they would get better if I believed it enough, and I didn’t want you worrying about me.”

  “It’s my job to worry about you and look after you” she paused to eat more chips, her eyes watching me intently. “Have you told Nick?”

  I shook my head guiltily and now it was her turn to sigh.

  “Tris, honey, we all love you and want to help, but it’s really difficult when we don’t know what’s going on. Nick’d be gutted to know you’re still nightmaring, more so to know you’ve been hiding it from him. And fuck going back to that psychiatrist! What can she do that I can’t? No one knows you better than I do.”

  “I know. It’s just, I’m so sick of not getting a decent night’s sleep, and it probably wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t making me relive the fucking crash every single night!” I groaned as a bit of fish fell off my plastic fork onto my leg, leaving a greasy mark. My next words were ones I chose carefully. “Al, I don’t know if this is going to sound weird, but…do you think that girl has anything to do with it?”

  “The girl who pulled you out?” she managed through a mouthful of chips. I tried to ignore the mush of food visible.

  “Yeah.”

  “The one who wasn’t there when the ambulance turned up and has never been seen or heard from since?”

  “Yes, that girl.”

  “Hmm. I’m confused. Do you think she’s put a hex on you or something? I mean, how would she be connected with your nightmares?”

  “No, not a hex! Just…” I thought for a minute, trying to put into words how I felt while Alice ate patiently. “Ok, my nightmares don’t end with the crash. They always end after she’s pulled me safe. I just can’t help but wonder if maybe, subconsciously, I feel guilty for not thanking her for saving my life? Maybe I should have tried harder to track her down?”

  “You think that if you find her and thank her, your nightmares’ll stop?” She couldn’t keep the scepticism from her voice, and I cringed a little.

  “Maybe, I don’t know! Why else would I dream about her every night? It’s the only thing I can think of, that perhaps I need closure or something” I threw my hands in the air in frustration, losing a couple of chips as I did.

  “Hey, it’s ok, I’m on your side! You know I’ll help you babe, whatever I can do, right? Just ask. But I don’t know what you can do now that you didn’t do back then? She didn’t respond to any of the tv appeals, or the newspapers that asked for her to come forward, and you know nothing about her! She might have just been passing through and lives on the other side of the country for all we know.”

  “I know, but I’ve got to try. I just want to get on with my life and be happy.” I stood up and dumped my rubbish in a bin. “Oh, you’ve got ketchup in your hair.”

  I understood Alice’s concern. After the accident, I’d placed adverts in all the local papers practically begging the girl to come forward, and the police had even put a brief appeal out on the news, but nothing had ever come of it. Eventually people started to suggest that perhaps she didn’t exist-that maybe I’d crawled out of the car by myself and just imagined being rescued.

  Yeah, right! I had severe concussion, three broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder and a fractured shin. I couldn’t have even got out of the car by myself, let alone crawl along the roadside, not with the pain I was in!

  I shuddered as I thought back to that day (something I tried to avoid, seeing as it plagued my night life.) It had been a good job the girl had come along and pulled me out when she did. The ambulance technician first on the scene reported finding me on the grass verge while my car blazed away nearby.

  Along with everyone in it.

  If she hadn’t have pulled me out, I probably would have been burned alive. The driver of the car that hit us had died instantly, and the lorry driver had been shaken and bruised but not in a critical way.

  Anyway, the more I thought about my theory of needing to thank her for saving my life, the more it made sense. It was the only thing hanging over me regarding that day.

  I was going to find her, no matter how long it took or what I had to do.

  CHAPTER 2

  5 WEEKS LATER

  “Tris? There something you want to talk about baby?” Nick asked gently, stroking my back with his fingertips.

  “No. Why?”

  He sighed, and I tensed instantly.

  “You just seem really down lately, and it’s getting worse. I haven’t seen you smile for days.”

  “That’s a bit of an exaggeration Nick” I said, swinging my legs out of the bed and removing myself from his warm embrace. We’d just had sex and I’d been relaxed enough to fall asleep in his arms. “What are you saying? That I’m being a miserable bitch?”

  “No! You know that’s not what I meant” he sat up and watched as I pulled on my discarded clothes. “Oh, come on babe, don’t run away from me? Please, com
e back to bed and talk to me?” he pleaded, but I was already heading for the door. I ignored him as he called out to me again and almost ran to the bathroom. I had to get there before the tears came.

  What the hell is wrong with me?

  Of course, I knew full well what was wrong with me. I’d become obsessed in my mission to find the girl who’d saved me, and because I was failing, could feel myself slipping into a horrible depressing funk that was almost impossible to get out of. Nick, Alice and my two other best friends Della and Jen had all gone out of their way to help me find her, but we’d hit dead ends everywhere we turned.

  I just didn’t get it. I couldn’t understand why she would have dragged me, and only me, free from the wreck, and then just disappear! Why didn’t she hang around or check the other vehicles for survivors? Why just drive off?

  These questions were quite literally driving me mad, and I needed to know the answers before I could let it rest. Before I could rest. I had to find this girl, and soon. My relationship with Nick was starting to suffer; although he swore he would always be there for me, I felt like I was just constantly pushing him away, and he didn’t deserve that. He was a good man and I only had to look in his eyes to know how much he adored me.

  When I went back into the bedroom, he was waiting for me.

  “Tris, you don’t have to explain anything babe. I know why you’re down and it was stupid of me to ask. I’m sorry” he said, before I could say anything. I got undressed and snuggled back under the covers into him, loving him for being so perfect.

  “No, I’m sorry. God you deserve better than this. I just…I need to find her! I feel like I’ll lose my mind if I don’t.”

  “Hey, she’s out there somewhere, right? We’ll find her babe, I promise” he said, his blue eyes serious and intense. I reached up and swept his floppy black hair aside.