Geek Love

by Mechele Armstrong

  He finally lay back, completely limp and drained. Breathed heavily as a vein beat in his throat.

  She lifted her leg and slipped down from him. Her body was coated in sweat but she didn’t feel cool. Not even with the room air conditioning on. She felt so hot, someone could fry bacon on her back.

  She looked at the full condom. Grabbed a tissue from the box by the bed and slipped it from his spent cock.

  His hips jumped when she encountered him. As though he couldn’t bear even that much of a touch.

  She got up and headed for the bathroom. Her breasts swung in time to her march. She wrapped the condom in more paper, tossed it in the trashcan, washed her hands, and ran water over a washcloth.

  He watched her from the bed as she headed back in his direction.

  She gently cleaned his cock, wiping him down with the rough cloth.

  His eyes rolled back in his head. “You’re trying to kill me.” He puffed a breath and his hips let out one last jerk as she finished.

  She didn’t go all the way back to the bathroom but tossed the cloth into the sink. Came back to lie beside him. He felt about as warm as she did. “Hardly. Then who would I play Halo 3 with? Or talk to at 3:00 in the morning?” No one. He was her lifeline most nights.

  He sobered, his face growing serious.

  What could he be thinking?

  She didn’t know but she didn’t like the look. This was a casual thing. The gaming life was where they were serious together. She placed a hand on his chest and started to stroke. “Let’s not talk about the future tonight. Let’s just focus on being together.” Her grin grew. “After all, we have a whole box of condoms to go through.” She rolled up on him to kiss him thoroughly before he could say anything else.

  What else was there for them to say tomorrow?

  After all, a gaming life didn’t a relationship make. Or did it?

  Chapter Seven

  Joel woke slowly. He stretched and touched a body. A feminine body. A warm and willing body.

  Samantha.

  She’d been more than warm last night, she’d been hot. More than willing, she’d been wanton.

  He’d never known a relationship could be like this. Never known it could affect every fiber of your being.

  She’d affected him more than Apple had affected the telephone and computer world. More than Microsoft had affected the home computer market.

  How on earth could this woman have affected him so much in such a short time? After all, he’d only known she was a woman for about a day.

  She sighed and moved in closer to his body. Her naked body pulled fully against his with all its heat.

  He was naked too. And the boner that hit every morning completely liked her body against him.

  Completely.

  He glanced at the nightstand. Who knew how fast a pack of condoms could go? Maybe he should have bought the mega-pack.

  He’d never needed a mega-pack before.

  He looked down at her sleeping face and stroked along her cheek. No wonder he’d needed them. Just look at her.

  His phone rang. Tinkled out the theme to Spiderman in vivid ringtones. He should have turned the volume down. Course he hadn’t been expecting this and when he had been expecting this, he’d been too distracted to think about his phone. Too distracted to think about much of anything but the woman beside him.

  Samantha stirred, crossing her leg over his. “That’s a stupid alarm clock.” She didn’t open her eyes.

  Probably she was tired. Just like him. There hadn’t been a lot of sleeping until about four AM. “It’s not a clock.”

  She moved away from him. “Then answer your damn phone.”

  She had never minced words. He got up from the bed and found his pants on the floor where he’d dropped them last night. The phone had stopped but he found it in his pocket. Baxter hadn’t left a message but Joel called him back anyway. Bax didn’t call often so it must be important. “Whatcha want, Bax?” He watched Samantha scoot around under the covers. Her pretty toes drifted out from under the blanket, then drew back in.

  “Hey.” Bax sounded sleepy. “I woke up. You didn’t sleep…here.” Bax sounded cautious as though he wasn’t sure where to go with this questioning.

  “I know. I spent the night elsewhere. With Samantha.” He watched her supine form, loving the look of her body.

  Until she sat up. Her eyes shot fire and brimstone. It was almost like ash came forth from her head and plumed upward. She looked that volcanic.

  He could hear the smile in Bax’s voice even as he began to fear for his own safety. She looked like she wanted to murder him. “Good for you.”

  “Uhhh.” Sam pulled the sheet around her and got off the bed. Her face was full of malice. “I gotta go, Bax. I’ll see you later.” He hung up the phone and watched her approach. This must be what those who’d lost their souls felt like when the devil approached. “Samantha? What’s…” What had he done now?

  She stopped in front of him and held up a hand halting his speech. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  He didn’t back up but stood his ground. Probably would have been easier with a sheet or clothes on like her. “Standing here. Talking to Baxter.” He wasn’t sure what she wanted to hear or why she was asking.

  “You told Baxter you were with me.”

  He rubbed his chin. He didn’t kiss and tell. Why had he told Bax? Because he’d been happy. A now fleeting emotion. “Baxter already knew I was with you last night. He knew we were having dinner and spending time together. He’d figure out where I spent the night without me telling him.”

  “You told him.”

  “Yes. I did. What’s the big deal about that?” Now he approached her. “What’s the big deal about Baxter knowing where I was last night?”

  She shook her head furiously. “Because now I’ll be known as the online bimbo. Oh, go to a convention, sleep with Samatra300.” She poked at his chest. “I’ve worked too hard to not be a gamer bimbo.”

  He shook his head. “You’re not going to get a rep as the gamer bimbo.” He moved more slowly to her side. “Why would you think that?”

  “Because now I see your deal. You tell Baxter we spent the night together. You and he tell the world. I should have known. Should never have come to this conference. You men are all the same.” Her voice sounded as bitter as coffee. As though maybe this had been experienced first hand. “I thought I could trust you.”

  “No. It’s not like that.” He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s not like that. What you and I had last night…”

  “Was great. Wonderful. A one night stand.”

  Any rigidity left in his cock plummeted. “A one night stand?”

  “Yeah. What did you think? I mean we’re…” She waved a hand around. “We game together. We know each other online. It’s not real life.”

  So much for last night being the best of his life. For feeling like he knew her so well. Apparently, he didn’t know her at all. “Not real life.” He felt like a damn parrot, repeating what she’d said, but he needed to clarify the specifics on this. It was important to be on the same page with her about this…lack of relationship.

  “No, it’s not real life. It never was.” She breathed out a half laugh. “And now I have to deal with my reputation being blasted to bits because I slept with you. I never should have…” She put her face in her hands.

  All it had been for her had been a one night stand.

  A great and wonderful one.

  But a one night stand nonetheless. She was more concerned with her reputation than about doing anything more with him. “It’s okay. I will tell Baxter not to tell anyone else. He won’t.” He took a deep breath and began gathering up his clothing. “I won’t either. It will be like it never even happened.” Which was what she wanted. Not him. How could he pretend this had never taken place? His throat closed. He couldn’t see how right now. Maybe when he was away from her… No, who was he kidding? He couldn’t just go back to th
e way things were. But he couldn’t say that right now. Not with her melting down in front of him.

  She winced. “Look, it’s been nice meeting you. I like you a lot. But we have an online ‘thing.’ It could never work outside of our online gaming friendship.”

  Why? Why couldn’t it work offline as well as online? He didn’t ask her the questions he most wanted to. His solar plexus felt as though it had been kicked in. “I understand.” He didn’t. But he wasn’t going to risk himself again by asking questions that apparently had no answer he wanted to hear. “I’ll just go.” He pulled up his underwear and pants. Quickly put on his shirt. Shoes were trickier but he dressed rapidly. Had to get away from her and think this through.

  “Joel, I don’t know what to say…” She gathered the sheet around her like a shield. Like somehow she could block away his presence.

  He shook his head. “Nothing to say. I’ll put things right.” It was the least he could do. “I’ll see you around. Online.” The only place she wanted anything to do with him. He left, letting the door click behind him.

  *

  The instant the door shut, Samantha knew it was a mistake. She buried her face in her hands and held her head. “What the fuck am I doing?”

  Her breathing hitched. Her heart pounded as she stayed there with her face in her hands. She needed…she wasn’t sure what she needed.

  Last night had been beyond awesome.

  Then, why are you walking away from it? Or more literally, pushing Joel from your life?

  Because it couldn’t be real.

  She’d worked super hard her whole online life to keep her gaming life separate from her real life. She’d worked hard to build up her credibility online. To not be a bimbo who was just looking for a hookup or a man online. There were men online who were bimbos too, not just women, but because women had been the minority, they’d always been looked at suspiciously when they’d come into the gaming world. In the past, women online had had to be super-vigilant to keep their reputations intact. It was only the turning tide of more women coming online that had made her attend this stupid convention and put her reputation on the line.

  And crosscountry500.

  That was something she couldn’t deny.

  He’d been a draw. The desire to meet him. To see him in person. To talk to him without a monitor or a console. To see if his picture matched his profile. To hear his voice not through a speaker. To finally talk to him in person.

  He’d been everything she’d thought he’d be and more.

  When she’d heard him talking to Baxter she’d had a flashback of an early online interaction. One where the man had known she was a woman, they’d met in person, and he’d spread lies all through the community about her. It was something she’d vowed she’d never go through again and it had felt like was she about to.

  Only now that her mind had cleared from the initial spontaneous reaction, she knew it was different with Joel. This was crosscountry500. He’d never do anything to hurt her. In her heart, she knew that. He’d been happily talking to Baxter. Happily, not trying to destroy her but overjoyed about what they’d shared.

  And she’d just thrown him to the curb. Completely. She’d thrown away their friendship over her online reputation.

  What an idiot.

  “You fucked up.” She covered her mouth. She’d messed this up but good. She scrambled out of bed, put on whatever clothes she could turn up and grabbed her keycard. She ran for the elevators. Had to try and save her friendship.

  Nervously, she bounced back and forth while she waited and then dashed as soon as the door opened. Pressed the button with shaking fingers.

  Exited the elevator and ran for his room. “Please let him be there.” She knocked several times, calling out his name.

  Baxter opened the door, pulling down an old faded t-shirt. He blinked at her. “Hey Samatra30…Sam. What’re you doing here?”

  “Joel. Where is he?” She tried to peek around him.

  Baxter scratched his chin. “He came here for two seconds, ranted about something. Slammed the door and left.”

  “Where did he go?” Her throat pulsed convulsively. “I need to know.” She needed to find him.

  “I…don’t know. He said something about needing some space and air, and he’d see me later this afternoon at the convention.”

  Oh God. He’d left the hotel. There would be no way to make this right until later today. She couldn’t wait that long. “His cell. Could you try his cell?”

  Baxter pulled his smart phone out of jeans’ pocket. “Sure.” He punched a few buttons and they heard the Spiderman theme from inside the room. “Uh, I think he left his phone here.” He opened the door and motioned her inside. He picked up the ringing phone from the nightstand. “Yep, he left it here.”

  The door clicked behind her. There was no way to get in touch with him now. Which meant she’d be waiting until he came back to talk to him. “Damn.” A sprinkle of tears threatened to fall from her left eye. “Damn.” How could she have screwed up things this badly?

  “He wasn’t…in the best of moods when he came back.” An understatement and Baxter looked like he knew it. “What happened?”

  She pressed fingers to her temple. She could get through this. She’d make it right with Joel. She’d fix this. Somehow. “I sort of made him mad.”

  “I gathered.” He smiled at her. “I hope you two make up. You’re the best ones on our Halo 3 team. Not only that, you’re good together.”

  Good together.

  They were good together. They’d gotten so they could anticipate each other’s every move gaming. They could complete each other’s sentences when they were chatting. “We’re good together online.”

  Baxter shrugged. “Same diff.” He looked at her carefully. She must have looked perplexed. “If you’re good together online, it can carry off the computer.” His smile grew. “Joel and I became friends before we ever met. We make a great team too.” His smile turned rueful. “Not as good as the two of you though.”

  Their relationship had carried off the screen into real life. But that was just friendship. Her mouth came open a bit.

  Wasn’t it just friendship with Joel?

  “We’re just good together online. We game well. That’s all. Good friends.” Her voice sounded hollow as though she didn’t even believe it anymore but she did. She had to make things right so she didn’t lose her best friend but that was all. She needed him in her life as a friend.

  Baxter shrugged. “Could have fooled me.”

  She cocked her head to the side. “What?”

  “How long do you two chat every night? Even weekends? How much have you told him?”

  “A couple of hours a night.” She ignored the last question. She’d told him…everything but that one thing before she’d seen him in person. Now he knew everything about her.

  He let her skip the question. “You talk more than some couples who live in the same house.”

  She opened her mouth to argue but he had a point. Only they weren’t a couple. “It’s not the same thing.” It couldn’t be. That was real and this was…not.

  “Whatever.”

  How long had she talked to her last boyfriend a night? She hadn’t. She’d seen him once a week. While talking to Joel every night for several hours at a time.

  Joel was why she’d come there to the conference and had come out of her gender closet. He was a main reason.

  Was it real that you talked to him after your friend died and he helped you at three AM? It had been. You’d never have made it through that trauma without him. Or that he was always there for you, no matter when you dinged him to chat or how small the issue in your life? He’d always listened to you, no matter the time or the subject.

  Even her real life friends hadn’t been there as much for her over the last few years as crosscountry500.

  He’d become as real to her as anything outside the computer screen.

  She couldn’t imagine her life without
him. “I have to find him. To tell him that I was wrong.” Her voice broke a little. “I can’t lose him, Baxter. He’s my best friend.”

  “Then why didn’t you try things with him? Not just online?” Baxter’s nose wrinkled up. “Because he’s not real? What you two have is real. And it’s more than friendship.”

  It couldn’t be. She wanted to argue the point, but all the times she’d spent chatting with crosscountry500 raced across her mind. He knew more about her than anyone. He could order her dinner without thinking about it. She knew him, too. Could predict his every move. She could think like him. They had their differences but they complemented each other well. How many days had she gotten out of bed to run to her computer and see if crosscountry500 had emailed her? Even when they’d chatted well into the night and only separated a few hours ago. Ninety-nine percent of the time, he had emailed her when she’d checked, too.

  Was that was love was?

  Her hand crept to her mouth as her heart pounded again. If they’d been together in real life, she would say they were in love. It was only the online stigma that had made her deny what was in front of her face.

  She’d been in love with him this whole time and never even realized it. That’s why she could be herself with him. It wasn’t the anonymity of the computer screen. It was how much they’d revealed to each other. That had been why she could sleep with him last night. He hadn’t been a carefree one night stand or seizing the day. She’d slept with him because she loved him. Last night had been what should have been the cementing of their moving from online to real.

  Only she’d screwed it all up.

  It was a hell of a lot easier to have an online friend than an online boyfriend. A lot easier to blame the trashing of her online reputation for her pulling back than the real reason.

  She didn’t want to lose what she had with crosscountry500. So she’d been willing to push away Joel to cover herself and deny what she’d felt. But they were one and the same. Push away Joel, you were sure to lose crosscountry500. She hadn’t wanted to admit what she felt so she’d been running away. Like the coward who had hid behind her gender for too long. She’d vowed to stop that when she’d decided to attend the convention.