Spies Like Me

by Doug Solter

  Emma nodded.

  “I have a surprise for you.” Lioness glanced up into a nearby tree. Something rustled in the branches before dropping down to the ground with a thud.

  It was Aardvark. He grinned and bowed his head towards the two ladies.

  Emma waved at him like a best friend.

  “Today,” Lioness said, “Aardvark will be your attacker.”

  “What?”

  “Silence.”

  Despite his scary looks, Emma knew Aardvark was a kind man and she didn’t want to fight him.

  “Wrist sweep. Go,” Lioness barked.

  The grin left Aardvark’s lips. His eyes concentrated as he grabbed Emma’s shoulders and forced her backwards.

  Emma tried planting her feet, but couldn’t.

  Aardvark threw her to the ground, where her teenage body buckled under his heavy weight.

  “Wrong! Wrong!” Lioness yelled. “Your hands were inside his arms. You could have attacked. Why didn’t you?”

  Aardvark released Emma.

  “I…I didn’t want to hurt him.”

  “A man attacks you and you don’t want to scratch out his eyes?”

  “But I can’t hurt someone who—” Emma couldn’t help but gawk at the scar running along Aardvark’s neck.

  “Someone you pity?” Lioness asked.

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You didn’t have to.” Lioness faced Aardvark. “Do you want her to pity you?”

  A shyness came over the large man as he pointed his eyes to the ground.

  Lioness got into Emma’s face. “I teach you self-defense. Not love your enemy. Here, you are expected to either neutralize or incapacitate your opponent.” She shoved Emma forward. “Do you get angry?” She shoved Emma again. “Huh? Is there a point you’re willing to strike back to save yourself?” Lioness spun Emma around and threw her to the ground.

  Emma’s body tensed. A flash of anger bubbled up her neck.

  “Pretty little blond girl. Daddy’s little pet poodle. Do you have an edge? Where is it? Can you fight back? Do you have the will to fight back? Do you need a prince to come save you? Reality check. There will be times when there’s no boy around to save you, and with this training, you won’t need one.” Lioness pulled Emma up to her feet. The woman gently raised the girl’s chin. “Focus on the goal and take the necessary actions. Repeat them if necessary. Strike as hard as necessary. Do what it takes to make your opponent retreat. If he doesn’t retreat, neutralize him. It’s either him or you. Understand?”

  Emma nodded as Lioness withdrew to the side.

  “Again.”

  Aardvark grabbed Emma’s shoulders and pushed her back once again. This time, Emma shoved his face to the side. But Aardvark was strong and he forced his neck forward even though Emma pushed against it with all her might. Emma’s feet dangled from the ground. Aardvark held her up so high Emma couldn’t touch the ground.

  Emma kicked his knees, but Aardvark still wouldn’t let go.

  This was hopeless. Emma was like a dog’s chew toy.

  Emma then realized her hands were still inside Aardvark’s arms, which meant—she stabbed his eyes with her thumbs, pressing in as hard as she could.

  Aardvark grimaced in pain and stopped.

  Emma used the hesitation to plant her feet and break away from him.

  “Again,” Lioness said.

  Aardvark came forward. This time Emma locked her arms with his and kicked his shin over and over again. Emma didn’t stop until he broke off the attack. Aardvark hobbled to the side like an old man, Emma’s kicks having done damage to his legs. The bald man dropped his butt on the ground and relaxed.

  “Are you okay?” Emma asked.

  Tears streamed down from his eyes. The pain must have been horrible. But Aardvark nodded and gave her a thumbs-up.

  “You made a man cry. Excellent,” Lioness said. “Now I teach you how to make all men run away from you in terror.”

  During week three Lioness taught Emma basic karate strikes. They drilled every afternoon and night until Emma could do her punches fast and aim them. Lioness went over some leg strikes, which Emma was much stronger at.

  On week four, they went over everything again. The self-defense moves were honed to perfection. Every karate move was judged until Lioness was satisfied with the results.

  “Tomorrow will be your final exam,” she said to Emma. “You will face attackers positioned at three corners of the fighting area. Each attacker is a black belt with years of practical experience in hand-to-hand combat. Your goal is to prevent yourself from being either knocked out or dragged out of the ring. Good luck.”

  Chapter 7

  Emma was back inside the giant cave area of TR division. Her blond hair was pulled back with a fabric scrunchie and her face absent of makeup. Today, Emma was all business. She stood in the middle of the cushioned mats that composed the square combat area. Emma’s heart banged against her chest. Her palms were sweaty and she had to constantly wipe them against her karate smock. Emma had never liked violence. The sight of blood always made her want to throw up. Hurting people gave her no pleasure whatsoever, and despite Lioness’s praises, Emma saw her new skills to hurt and cripple other human beings as a power she never wanted to use unless it was absolutely necessary.

  Unfortunately, today it was necessary.

  No one else was training in the simulators or on the rock climbing wall or even in the gym area. Every person with a training uniform stood outside the combat area, watching Emma with great interest. Mrs. B and Aardvark were there, along with a handful of men and women in business suits who would lean over to ask Mrs. B discreet questions. The spotlight was on Emma and the actress inside her swelled up to accept Emma’s new role as Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

  “Ready, Black Opal?” Lioness asked.

  Emma paused before realizing that question was for her. She closed her eyes to prepare herself. “Yes.”

  “Bring them out.”

  From behind the spectators, three opponents walked in a solid line. Each was dressed in a black karate smock with large hoods that hid their faces. One by one each opponent broke off from the group and positioned themselves at three corners of the combat area. They took off their hoods and revealed themselves. Just as Lioness had taught her, Emma analyzed each potential threat.

  Man number one: Long black hair with a full beard. Emma guessed that he was Latino, but from what country she wasn’t too sure. His body looked athletic and swift.

  Man number two: Military-cut blond hair and a square jaw. His chest was a boulder. His arms like tree trunks. Maybe not swift, but could knock Emma into space with one well-placed hit. He looked like Ivan Drago, the blockhead Russian that Rocky fought in that 80s boxing movie. For some reason, Grandma thought Sylvester Stallone was hot and insisted on watching his movies with Emma whenever they came on TV.

  Man number three: Long dark hair that was tied into one long braid that disappeared behind his—Emma was wrong. Opponent number three wasn’t a man.

  It was a girl.

  She was young. Almost Emma’s age, but shorter. Her long dark hair shone under the lights. She was light-skinned with cool, pink undertones and quite beautiful. Her body was thin, yet athletic. Emma could tell by her features she was of Asian descent, but that was all. The butterflies intensified inside Emma’s stomach. She didn’t want to fight another girl. Injuring a man trying to hurt her felt more justified.

  “Prepare to defend yourself,” Lioness yelled. “Number one, attack.”

  The bearded man bowed in a respectful manner, then charged at Emma. He threw a series of karate shots towards her and she blocked each one. Emma then punched his face. The man countered by sweeping his leg under Emma, dropping her to the ground.

  The bearded man stepped over Emma to pin her. But Emma kicked him hard in the gut, shoving him back. She jumped to her feet, just as the man came in with his own leg kick.

  Emma ducked, twisted her body on instinct and s
wung her foot out, catching the man in the back of his knees. He stumbled back to regain his balance.

  She planted her feet, waiting for the next attack.

  The bearded man aimed a strike at her chest. Emma brushed it off.

  But it was a fake.

  The bearded man struck her in the jaw. Emma recoiled a few steps back, tasting copper in her mouth. Tears formed in her eyes and she tried to blink them dry.

  The bearded man grabbed Emma from behind and pulled her towards the edge of the ring. If he succeeded, Emma would fail the test.

  She gathered herself, stepped inside the bearded man’s leg and threw him headfirst into the cushions. Her training kicked in as Emma jumped into the air. She used gravity and her elbow to come down hard on the square of the man’s back. He gasped and stayed down on the mat.

  Emma withdrew and put herself in the middle of the fighting area again.

  “Number one, can you continue with the exercise?” Lioness asked.

  The bearded man got up slowly, wheezing. He held up his hand for a moment as he struggled to breathe. Emma must have knocked the wind out of his lungs.

  He finally shook off the discomfort and prepared himself.

  “Continue,” Lioness said.

  Emma braced.

  The bearded man threw himself at her. Emma ducked a leg strike, but caught a punch to the back part of her shoulder. The bearded man followed up with a punch aimed at her face.

  But Emma reacted quickly and the punch skipped off her cheek. Still…it hurt like burning your finger in the oven and it made Emma stumble back. She knew her punches couldn’t take him out, but there was one move she could do. The move Lioness had made her practice over and over again.

  Emma prepared herself.

  Now.

  Emma ran at the bearded man, jumped and twisted her waist like a coil as she used her momentum to swing her leg around. A bloodcurdling yell escaped her lips as her foot struck her attacker on the side of the head. The bearded man collapsed to the cushions with a massive thump and didn’t move.

  Emma had knocked him out cold.

  “Remove him from the fighting area,” Lioness said.

  Two medics jumped into action. They checked the man’s eyes before carrying him to the infirmary.

  “Number two, attack,” Lioness said.

  Ivan Drago smiled as he bowed. The Russian mountain lumbered towards Emma.

  What did she have to lose? Emma ran at him again, twisting her body around for another epic kick. She missed the side of his head, but did catch his mouth and nose with a strike that snapped the man’s head to the side. Emma lost her balance and tumbled to the ground. She turned to watch Ivan drop to the ground.

  But the Russian just stood there, staring her down as he spit out something white and grinned. One of his upper teeth were missing.

  Ivan came at her.

  Emma threw a side kick. He blocked it. She threw a punch. He swatted it away like her fist was a fly. She tried a front kick to his gut. But Ivan caught her foot and shoved her backwards, landing Emma on her butt.

  Ivan lumbered over her.

  Still on the floor, Emma kicked his stomach. Ivan only grunted as he grabbed both her legs and dragged Emma towards the edge of the fighting area. She felt like a giant bag being dragged across the floor. Emma struggled but couldn’t break her legs free. But she did have access to Ivan’s feet. She grabbed one in mid-step and pulled back with all her might. Ivan fell forward onto the mat, but recovered quickly and flopped onto his back. Emma felt her hair being pulled while Ivan’s massive hand clamped down on her shoulder blade and pulled her up to him. He released her hair and put his hand against her throat and squeezed.

  Emma coughed. The man was so strong it felt like her windpipe was in a vise. She grabbed his wrist, but it felt like iron. No way could she move it. Emma would have a broken larynx just like Aardvark. What could she do to him? Ivan was too strong.

  Emma then remembered Ivan was still a guy. She released the man’s wrist, cocked back her elbow, and punched his berries.

  Ivan’s grip loosened on her throat. It was working.

  Emma punched and punched and punched with both fists. As long as he held her throat, Emma wasn’t going to stop.

  Finally, Ivan’s hand fell from her throat. Emma rolled off the man and coughed as her lungs welcomed more air. She had to get back to her feet. She had to be ready for his next attack. No matter how bad Emma felt, she had to be ready.

  Emma forced herself to stand as she locked herself into a fighting stance.

  But Ivan stayed down, rolling back and forth. He said something in high-pitched Russian to Lioness, who then argued with him in Russian. Emma wished she knew what they were saying.

  Ivan eventually got to his feet and limped out of the fighting area, but not before giving Emma a dirty look.

  Emma tried to relax, but her body was in full rebellion. Her muscles ached. Her face hurt. Her neck still felt broken from the last attack. She didn’t feel like a girl anymore. She felt like a used punching bag.

  Her next opponent smiled when Emma met her eyes. She readied herself for whatever this new girl would bring.

  “Number three, attack,” Lioness said.

  The girl ran forward, jumped to her hands and executed a series of somersaults that built up momentum as she closed in on Emma.

  For a moment, Emma froze, unsure of what to do.

  The girl broke out of the somersault and kicked Emma right in the chest, tossing her five feet back as Emma rolled end over end, catching herself just short of the boundary to the fighting area. Emma’s chest screamed in pain. Where did that come from? Despite her chest, Emma pushed herself up and threw a kick at her opponent.

  The girl ducked. As Emma’s back was exposed, the girl struck and Emma tasted the cushions. The girl came up behind her. Emma tried a back kick and found air. She rolled and kicked upward again, hoping to catch her by surprise. But the girl dodged the kick perfectly.

  Emma jumped to her feet and attacked with a series of punches. Her opponent jerked away, ducked, and twisted her body like a snake to avoid every strike. Emma couldn’t hit her. Unlike the men, this girl was agile and could react quicker. Emma tried an inside kick. The girl countered with her own kick that swept Emma off her feet and threw her down on the cushions again. The girl bowed and held out her hand. Was she for real?

  Emma took her hand, and sure enough, the girl pulled Emma to her feet.

  The girl readied herself, giving Emma the initiative. Emma tried some side punches combined with a few kicks. Her opponent avoided every move yet didn’t counter with a hit of her own.

  What was this girl doing?

  Emma improvised and grabbed her in a wrestling move. But the girl tumbled forward and used her legs to push Emma into the air. Emma sailed a few feet before her butt landed on the cushions. Emma wasn’t hurt, but she felt like an idiot. This girl wasn’t even trying. She was having fun with Emma, making her look stupid in front of Mrs. B and Lioness. Like a little girl wrestling her teddy bear. How would anyone take Emma seriously as a spy if she couldn’t even defend herself against another teenage girl?

  Emma jumped to her feet and closed in on her opponent. Like before, the girl handed Emma the initiative to make the first move. Emma tossed a front punch and the girl sidestepped left. Emma repeated the same front punch and the girl repeated the sidestep. Emma repeated another punch with her right hand, then reached out with her left to grab the girl’s dark hair. Emma pulled hard, throwing her surprised opponent off balance and making the girl shriek.

  Instead of a karate strike, the girl pulled a handful of blond hair and Emma shrieked. Both girls spun around each other like a merry-go-round, each girl holding on tight with neither one letting go.

  “Stop pulling my hair,” the girl said in English with an unmistakable accent.

  “You stop pulling first.” Emma wasn’t going to let any girl embarrass her like this.

  The girls kept spinning in
side their hair-tangled death grip while laughs echoed throughout the training facility.

  “What are you two idiots doing?” Lioness asked.

  “She’s pulling my hair!” Emma shouted.

  “You pulled my hair first!” the other girl shouted.

  “Stop this immediately,” Lioness said in a tone that sounded like thunder.

  The girl let go and tried to separate herself, but Emma held on tight.

  “Black Opal, you are not chimpanzee. Stop acting like one.”

  Emma released her grip and stood at attention with her frazzled hair covering her face like a cloud of blond cotton candy. Emma knew she would get chewed out and readied herself for it. But Lioness didn’t march over to her. She faced Mrs. B instead.

  “The test was satisfactory…up until the end.” Mrs. B fired a look at the two girls.

  Emma’s opponent bowed lower and kept her eyes to the ground.

  “I agree,” Lioness said.

  Mrs. B turned to a man watching. “Would you be so good as to give everyone in your division a fifteen-minute break and thank them for their patience?”

  The man nodded to Mrs. B and flashed a look at Lioness.

  “Of course,” she said.

  The people assembled streamed out of the training facility. Soon only Lioness, Mrs. B, and the two teen girls remained.

  Emma braced herself for the storm about to hit. The girl next to Emma didn’t move an inch, like she was made of ice.

  Mrs. B leaned on her cane. “You do realize this girl would have beaten you, Black Opal, if you hadn’t pulled her hair and disrupted her discipline. What have you to say about that?”

  Emma calmed down and thought about it. “I knew I couldn’t win honestly. She’s too good. So I got frustrated and did it.”

  “You’re right, she is too good,” Lioness said. “And that was by design. Despite her age, Ruby is one of the most skilled hand-to-hand fighters we have.”

  It hit Emma like a rock. Ruby? The girl from Okinawa? The one who blew up a motorcycle with a rocket?

  “Against your first two opponents, you did well and that’s what I trained you for,” Lioness said. “Yet Ruby was the real test. She’s years beyond you in ability. However, I’m pleased you lasted against her, and even tossed in a surprise no one expected.”