The Summer of Secrets

by Barbara Hannay

  In fact, if all went well, Finn’s return would be the perfect time for Chloe to make an appointment at the IVF clinic in Cairns. By then, she would be owed some time off.

  Happy to have these thoughts sorted, Chloe finally relaxed, and settled to sleep.

  A small knock on the bedroom door woke her. It was only just daylight as far as she could tell. Through sleepy, squinted eyes, she saw Bree in the doorway. She was wrapped in a blue cotton dressing gown and her feet were bare, but despite the subdued early light, Chloe could tell immediately that the girl was upset.

  ‘Sorry to wake you,’ Bree said in a small voice.

  ‘That’s okay.’ Chloe propped herself up on one elbow. ‘What’s the matter?’

  Bree came a little way into the room, her expression even more woeful than it had been yesterday when she’d arrived at the airport. ‘I think —’ She bit down on her lip and she looked as if she was about to cry.

  ‘Bree, what is it? What’s happened?’ Chloe hoped she didn’t sound as alarmed as she felt.

  ‘I think I’ve started my period.’

  Oh, God.

  Dual reactions of relief and dismay rendered Chloe speechless. She knew she must have looked shocked, but she couldn’t help it. This was a situation way above her pay grade.

  ‘Is – is this your first time?' she asked.

  Bree nodded, her eyes huge and shiny. She had lovely eyes, grey with a hint of blue, so that they appeared almost violet. But now they were brimming with tears, clear evidence that she was quite overwhelmed by yet another new challenge.

  ‘You poor darling.’ Chloe swung out of bed, awash with sympathy. For Bree. And for herself. The poor girl needed her mother, not a babysitter she’d met the day before.

  Bree didn’t have a mother.

  ‘There’s some on the sheets.’ Bree’s voice sounded close to cracking.

  ‘Don’t worry, sweetie. We can easily fix that.’ Slipping her arm around the girl’s shoulders, Chloe gave her a hug. ‘If it’s any consolation, it happens to all of us girls.’

  A sob did break from Bree then, but she quickly stifled it, swiping at her eyes and rubbing at her nose with the sleeve of her dressing gown.

  ‘Come on,’ said Chloe. ‘Luckily, I’ve got just what you need. And after breakfast, I’ll duck up to the supermarket and get more supplies.’

  Bree nodded and managed a wan smile.

  In the bathroom, Chloe handed her a slim packet of pads. ‘This will get you started. Do you know how to use them?’

  Bree nodded again. ‘We had a sex education night at school and the nurse kept waving them around. It was so gross.’ She smiled crookedly. ‘I – I didn’t really think it would happen yet. Gran didn’t say anything.’

  ‘Well, I guess your gran’s past having to worry about such things.’ Chloe offered her an encouraging smile. ‘You know this is probably happening to most of your girlfriends around now.’

  ‘I know Maisie Green started last year,’ Bree said, with an accompanying eye-roll. ‘She’s got massive boobs too and she never stops bragging.’

  ‘There’s always one like that.’

  ‘Yeah.’ But Bree still looked shocked and miserable.

  Chloe gave her shoulder another squeeze. ‘You’ll soon get the hang of it,’ she said. ‘It’s a girl thing we all get to share. I started my period on the bus on the way home from school. It was so-o-o embarrassing. When I got to my bus stop, I had to try to walk with my schoolbag covering the spot.’

  Chloe acted it out, using a bath towel in place of her school bag.

  ‘Noooo,’ wailed Bree. ‘Shame.’ But she was smiling now.

  ‘Worst day of my life.’

  They were both smiling.

  Chloe was glad she’d brought her favourite indulgent muesli to Finn’s place. With the sheets and undies sorted in the laundry, she and Bree ate their breakfast on the small back verandah, overlooking the backyard with its random clumps of cosmos and a view of a farmer’s newly ploughed field.

  The muesli was laden with nuts and coconut flakes and Chloe added dollops of creamy, berry-rich yoghurt and a sliced banana.

  ‘Yum,’ said Bree. ‘This is amazing.’

  ‘I know, it’s hard to believe it’s still healthy,’ said Chloe, tucking in.

  They finished their meal with coffee – very milky coffee for Bree – while watching white cockatoos swoop and peck in the newly turned earth. And, out of nowhere, Chloe was struck by a brilliant idea.

  ‘We should have an all-girls party,’ she said. It seemed the perfect way to mark this occasion. ‘We could keep it simple. Maybe pizzas,’ she told Bree. ‘And everyone can choose their own toppings.’

  ‘That might be fun. No pineapple for me.’ Bree frowned. ‘But do you know many girls around here?’

  ‘Well, that’s the catch,’ Chloe admitted. Her invitation list would be pretty much limited to Jess and Willow, Tammy and Emily. ‘The girls would actually range in age from a baby to a sixty-something.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘Sorry.’ Chloe smacked a palm to her forehead. ‘That probably sounds more like a punishment for you than any kind of fun party.’

  ‘No,’ Bree said, shaking her head. ‘It sounds okay.’

  Perhaps, Chloe surmised, any kind of party sounded okay to a kid who went to boarding school and spent her weekends with her grandparents.

  Bree was frowning again, though. ‘These people wouldn’t have to know about – you know what – would they?’

  ‘Your period? No, no,’ Chloe assured her. ‘That’s our secret. But at least you’ll know we’re all girls in the same boat. Even baby Willow has this ahead of her.’

  Bree looked suddenly solemn. ‘It means I can be a mother some day, doesn’t it?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Chloe said softly. If you’re lucky.

  Without warning, she felt the sting of tears, as her own desperate yearning for motherhood spiked, hard and sharp. Almost immediately, her self-pity was eclipsed, though, by the tragedy of Bree’s mother, missing not just this landmark day in her daughter’s life, but everything that lay in her future.

  Terrified of upsetting Bree, Chloe blinked. Hard. Took a deep breath. ‘Right,’ she said. ‘I’d better do a ring around and see who’s free to party.’

  It was only when she looked up Tammy’s number that she realised, with a guilty start, that she’d been so caught up with managing Bree that she hadn’t yet contacted Tammy about Ben’s dramatic appearance on TV.

  Tammy arrived at their little impromptu party with a bottle of chilled white wine, a jar of sundried tomatoes and a very tense smile.

  ‘Have you heard from Finn?’ she asked almost as soon as Chloe opened the door.

  Chloe shook her head. ‘Not today,’ she said. ‘Not since he arrived in Thailand.’

  Tammy grimaced. ‘I’m not sure I can bear the suspense.’ She thrust the bottle of tomatoes into Chloe’s hands. ‘Thanks for inviting me. I’ve been climbing the walls at home. You might be able to use these on your pizzas. One of my clients made them.’

  With her free hand, she reached out to Bree and smiled. ‘It’s really nice to meet you, Bree. You look so much like Finn. All that lovely dark, glossy hair.’

  ‘Watch out, Bree, or you’ll be going home with a new hairstyle,’ warned Chloe with a grin.

  ‘I wouldn’t mind,’ said Bree, fingering the end of a long dark tress.

  ‘You’ll wait till your father’s here, thank you,’ Chloe intervened. ‘Come through to the kitchen, Tammy, and I’ll pour you a glass.’

  The route to the kitchen took them through the lounge room, where Emily was sitting cross-legged on the carpet, playing a hand-clapping game with baby Willow. They made a very enchanting picture and Chloe did her best to crush the pang of longing she still felt every time she saw a cute baby.

  ‘Hi, Tammy,’ called Emily. ‘You must be so relieved about Ben.’

  ‘I guess,’ Tammy said uncertainly.

  ‘At least we now
know he’s alive,’ suggested Chloe. ‘And Finn’s fairly confident about these contacts of his.’

  Tammy gave a worried nod and followed Chloe to the kitchen where Jess was making a start on the pizza toppings.

  ‘Willow and Emily are getting on like a house on fire,’ Chloe told her after she’d greeted Tammy.

  Jess nodded, but Chloe thought she looked rather tense. Was everyone tense today?

  ‘Can I help with these?’ Tammy asked as she surveyed the pizza bases waiting for further adornment.

  ‘No, this kitchen’s so small, we’ll fall over each other,’ said Chloe.

  ‘It’s cute, though.’ Tammy looked about her. ‘I like old-fashioned stuff. It reminds me of my grandmother’s place.’

  ‘Yes, I had the same reaction when I saw it.’ Chloe handed her a filled glass.

  Tammy raised it in a salute. ‘Lovely to be here, but if I’m not needed, I’ll go back and talk to Emily and Bree.’

  ‘We won’t be long,’ Chloe assured her as she began to slice salami. ‘But before you go – any special pizza requests?’

  Tammy shook her head. ‘I eat anything except anchovies.’

  ‘Righto. We’re only doing one base with anchovies.’

  Tammy left and, almost immediately, the chatter from the lounge room rose a decibel or two, as her voice chimed in. Laughter quickly followed, which no doubt meant that Tammy had told them one of her jokes. She was, by all reports, a talented joke-teller.

  Then Emily’s voice could be heard, sounding especially happy, followed by a delighted little squeal from Willow.

  ‘You’re missing the fun,’ Chloe told Jess.

  Jess shrugged. ‘I’m fine. Honestly.’

  As they worked side by side, Chloe said in an undertone, ‘It’s so sad that Emily lost her son. She would have made a lovely grandmother.’

  Jess gave a distracted nod. She was dotting mushrooms onto a pizza at careful, evenly spaced intervals and her mouth was pinched and tight, her expression uncharacteristically serious. Not at all the smiley and confident Jess, who usually relished a bit of gossip.

  ‘Are you okay, Jess?’ Chloe asked.

  ‘Of course.’ But Jess almost snapped the words. ‘Why?’

  ‘You seem —’ Watching her, Chloe tried for a joke. ‘Let me put it this way. I’ve never thought of you as being OCD.’

  ‘Obsessive compulsive? Me?’ Jess looked up from her task, frowning. ‘What makes you say that?’

  ‘Well, if I didn’t know better, I’d swear you’d used a micrometer screw gauge to measure the distance between those mushrooms.’

  ‘Oh.’ Jess dropped her gaze back to her work. ‘I see what you mean.’ Her mouth quirked in a rueful smile. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘There’s no need to apologise. I just hope you’re okay.’

  ‘Yes, I’m perfectly fine. Why wouldn’t I be?’

  ‘I don’t know. You just seem different tonight.’

  A brief flicker of emotion came and went in Jess’s eyes, like the shadow of a fast-moving cloud. For a moment, Chloe thought Jess was going to confide in her, but then she shrugged. ‘I think I’m just a bit tired. The café was full on till mid afternoon.’

  ‘So you shouldn’t be slaving here now. You should be out there with the others with your feet up, enjoying a glass. Go on.’ Chloe shooed her. ‘Go and play with your baby. Bree can help me with these. They’re nearly done, anyway.’

  ‘No, I’m fine.’ Jess was, again, quietly but unmistakably insistent. ‘Honestly.’

  Chloe didn’t push the matter, but she was definitely puzzled.

  ‘This has been a lovely evening, Chloe,’ said Emily. ‘Maybe we can do it again some time and you can all come to my place.’

  The ‘girls’ were relaxing after their meal. Willow had gone to sleep on Bree’s bed, surrounded by a safety wall of pillows, and now, the others were replete with pizza and mellowed by wine, or lemon squash, in Bree’s case.

  Emily was still sitting on the floor with a cushion at her back and braced by a bookcase. She was wearing stretch denim slacks and had kicked off her shoes, and she was actually quite comfortable, but she wasn’t sure she could get up again without assistance.

  Earlier, she had removed some of the more delicate pieces of pottery out of little Willow’s fumbling reach and she’d had such a lovely time playing with the little girl. It was amazing, really, that such a simple evening could be so pleasant. The conversation had been easygoing, with everyone keen to offer Bree advice on the best activities to enjoy while she was staying in Burralea.

  Bree, in turn, had quizzed them about the schools in the district, which Emily found interesting. She wondered if Finn would come home to find himself under pressure to allow his daughter to move here full time.

  Jess and Tammy had also asked Bree about her boarding school, and it was pretty clear that she was happy enough there, but of course, she missed her father.

  Chloe, after only a little prompting, had told them a few gossipy stories from her days at Girl Talk magazine. All in all, given the diversity of the group, they seemed to have found plenty to chat about, which had moved Emily to offer her invitation.

  ‘I don’t think I’ve ever been to your place,’ said Tammy. ‘In fact, I know I haven’t, but I’ve heard about it, of course. It sounds lovely, down by the lake.’

  ‘Then you must come,’ said Emily. ‘We can try for another girls’ night in.’ Life was so much less complicated without men. ‘Although I don’t suppose that will work once Finn’s back,’ she mused.

  ‘And hopefully, Ben will be back soon, too,’ added Tammy.

  ‘Yes, of course,’ Emily averred, and for a moment or two there was silence as everyone wondered … and hoped …

  It was important to have the men safely home, of course it was, but when Emily thought of her own man, Alex, she couldn’t quite manage a smile. So she drank some more wine.

  ‘Will your husband be back soon?’

  This question came from Jess, which surprised Emily. If only it was easy to answer.

  ‘I hope so,’ she said. ‘He’s busy with supervising the muster on his cattle property at the moment.’ She added a quick smile. ‘But that won’t last forever, of course.’

  Tammy was listening to this with evident interest and she quickly pounced on Jess. ‘While we’re asking nosy questions, what about your man?’

  ‘My man?’ Jess gave a fair imitation of a deer caught in headlights.

  ‘Willow’s father?’ clarified Tammy. ‘Are you expecting a visit from him?’

  ‘No.’ Jess answered quickly, perhaps too quickly, and a tide of red flooded her face.

  Tammy’s eyes grew even wider. With unabashed curiosity, and a fair dose of impertinence, she continued to stare at Jess, who was curled on a beanbag in the opposite corner, chewing on a thumb-nail. Obviously, Tammy was waiting for more information about Willow’s mysterious father.

  ‘He’s totally out of the picture,’ Jess said, at last, but she refused to look up.

  Emily could readily sympathise. She suspected Jess might be in the same difficult position as she was, of having to make up a story to cover a private disappointment.

  ‘All right, my turn to confess,’ she said, wanting to break the tension. ‘My hip is going on me, and someone’s going to have to help me up.’ She held out a hand and Chloe promptly took hold and helped her to her feet.

  ‘Oh, dear,’ Emily moaned as her hip complained, but at least her ploy worked. Everyone was smiling again.

  As she drove home, however, she couldn’t help wondering how long Tammy could keep up her brave face. The poor girl must have been going out of her mind with worry about Ben. His sudden reappearance in Thailand was bizarre, to say the least, and although Emily had imagined a host of explanations, not one of them was reassuring.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  When Ben Shaw heard that Finn Latimer was in Bangkok, phoning Jack O’Brien and making enquiries, his reaction, for all of five seco
nds, had been one of elated incredulity. He was chuffed to know that good old Finn had turned up here to try to rescue him. But almost immediately, the deeper implications of Finn’s appearance had dawned on Ben and he was scared. Shit-scared.

  He knew it could mean only one thing. Finn had seen, or at least had heard about, the television footage of him on Kata Noi beach.

  Jacko had managed to have the story killed after just one airing, but Finn had seen it, so no doubt half of Australia had, too. It could only be a matter of time before the news reached the entire drug ring that Jacko had spent years trying to shut down.

  This knowledge made Ben sick to the stomach. For weeks now, he’d been living on a knife edge, lying low in the flat Jacko had rented for him at Kata Noi. On the rare occasions he’d ventured out, he’d done his level best to blend in with the tourist crowds. He thought he’d managed pretty well until he’d come out of the surf to find a TV camera pointed directly at him.

  Ben’s first fears had been for the man who had saved his life. He’d known that Hawk could now be in grave danger and so he’d called Jacko straight away, of course, and the brilliant Fed had sprung instantly into action.

  Jacko had put in years of patient, meticulous work gathering info on Norman Chrysler and the wider drug ring that was spread throughout the eastern states of Australia. It would be a disaster of epic proportions if those crims were alerted now, at this final stage, just when Jacko’s network was poised to close in.

  Unfortunately, Jacko hadn’t been able to stop that first news segment from going to air. As an extra precaution, he’d moved Ben down here to Bangkok, into the spare room in his own apartment, no less. And ever since, his agents and contacts both in Australia and Thailand had been in a state of constant vigil, their eyes and ears alert for the first sign that the ring had wised up.

  So far there hadn’t been a ripple.