Beautifully Damaged

by L. A. Fiore

  Before I could embarrass myself by doing something truly appalling like launching myself at him, the ride stopped. We climbed from the ride before Trace reached for my hand and linked our fingers. It was perfect, walking hand in hand, with Trace as we slowly strolled around the fairgrounds.

  At one point we passed a cotton candy stand. "Oh, we have to get some," I said, which was met by a blank stare from Trace. I turned more fully to him and held his blank expression.

  "Have you never had cotton candy?"

  "No," he replied and I couldn't have been more shocked by his answer.

  "Never?"

  "No."

  "Well, that's a crime. Come, let me introduce you to spun sugar."

  I reached for his large hand, which he wrapped around mine, and I felt a connection to him that went deeper than the physical one. We approached the stand and I held up the money to the kid working the machine.

  "One, please."

  It was huge, the mound the kid spun for us, with enough sugar to satisfy even my sweet tooth. Trace and I stepped away from the stand and I held the cloud of blue sugar up to him.

  "Just pull off a hunk."

  As he reached for the cotton candy, I watched him and noticed an almost boyishness about him. I couldn't help the pang of sadness that filled me as I wondered how a man approaching thirty could never have experienced cotton candy. My eyes stayed on his as the spun sugar disappeared into his mouth.

  "It dissolves," he said mostly to himself and then he sought and found my gaze as a smile spread over his face.

  "It's delicious!"

  I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to do that more than I wanted to take my next breath.

  "Hold this for a second?" I asked. He took the cotton candy from me and I stepped into him resting my hands on his shoulders as I lifted myself up on my tip toes before I pressed my mouth to his. I tilted my head and wrapped his face in my hands as I licked his lower lip. I heard him growl deep in his throat before his arms came around me and pulled me close. My tongue sought entrance and when he parted for me, I tasted him fully, running my tongue over his, licking the roof of his mouth as I lost myself in him. I pulled my mouth from his and he tightened his arms around me in response. I had the sense that he didn't want to let me go and I ran my lips under his jaw, trailing them down his neck before I forced myself to take a step away from him.

  I held his gaze before I whispered, "You're delicious."

  His eyes flashed before he pulled me to him and kissed me hard on the mouth. He released me but it took a minute for my eyes to open because -- oh my -- the man knew how to kiss. When I did finally look at him he was watching me with a tender look on his face. He reached for my hand and linked our fingers.

  "Shall we?"

  I smiled in reply and for the next hour we rode practically every ride. The rides were broken down when the fair moved from location to location and I must say that I felt scared for our safety. Being with Trace though, feeling his solid strength next to me, helped to alleviate some of my fears. After the rides we tried our hands at some of the games. Trace was remarkably good at the shooting games and when he handed me the large stuffed bear I felt tears prickling the back of my eyes.

  We were making our way through the crowds when we saw a little girl. Her face was scrunched up as tears streamed down her face. It only took a second to realize what happened. Her doll was swimming in a puddle of mud. Her parents were trying to console her but she was heart-broken, and remembering that age, I understood her pain. Trace looked down at me and though he didn't say anything, I knew what he wanted, and I felt my heart trip in my chest at his compassion. I handed my doll to him as a smile touched his lips. He ran his finger down my cheek as his eyes held mine and then he turned and started for the little girl. I saw the silent question that he directed at her parents and when they smiled and nodded he knelt down next to her. I couldn't hear him but I saw the smile that spread over the little girl's face as she wrapped her arms around the bear. He stood then and turned back to me. I met him halfway and wrapped my arms around his waist. His arms came around me as he pressed a kiss to my head. His lips brushed over my ear when he asked, "Are you hungry?"

  I looked up at him and smiled.

  "Yes."

  He took my hand and led me towards the concession stands but my thoughts were on him. His reaction to that little girl had been a gut-instinct and that gesture of kindness was completely in contradiction to his reputation. His behavior both that day and the day before only confirmed for me what I had already suspected. The image he allowed everyone to see was just that, an image. The real Trace Montgomery was far more complicated and I feared that underneath his seemingly put together and beautiful outer package existed a damaged soul.

  We reached one of the food trucks and he stopped and looked at me with the most charming expression on his face.

  "Tell me, Ember, what's it gonna be: chili dogs or funnel cakes for dinner?"

  I couldn't help the smile as I replied, "Can't we have both?"

  He pulled me closer before he said, "I was hoping you would say that."

  The following night Lena extended the olive branch and invited me to go out with her and Todd. I was touched by her invitation until we reached the little hole-in-the-wall club and realized we were only there because of a back-room poker-game. As soon as we arrived, Todd disappeared and stayed gone for quite a while. Could Lena not see that her boyfriend was a loser? Was this how all of her dates went? Did she not see that the love of her life didn't seem all that eager to spend time with her? Or, to be fair, he liked gambling more than he liked her. Since I didn't know the answers to those questions, I asked.

  "Does he usually leave you alone?"

  "Just stop, Ember. At least I'm dating."

  "I'm not judging you, Lena, but it seems to me that you sitting here alone hardly qualifies as a date."

  Her eyes narrowed at me as she leaned over the table. I knew she was thinking how absurd it was of me to be giving relationship advice to her when I lacked experience but it didn't take a shrink to see that Todd was all wrong for her.

  "I don't claim to be an expert but I do know that Todd's taking you out and leaving you so he can gamble is not a healthy relationship."

  "Whatever."

  I leaned back in my chair in an attempt to reign in my temper that was stirring to life. I couldn't reason with her since she absolutely refused to open her fucking eyes. My dad's warning played in my head and, damn, if the man wasn't right. I wanted to leave but I felt bad leaving her here, alone, in not-so-safe a place. What kind of guy brought his girlfriend to a place like this only to leave her alone to fend for herself? A gambling jackass, that's who. I didn't voice any of this to Lena and instead just sat in silence.

  My phone buzzed -- signaling an incoming text -- and I saw it was Trace, my mind shifted gears as a smile touched my lips. I was falling -- hard -- for the man that Trace was allowing me to see.

  Are you free tonight?

  Yes, I'm at Pulse but I'm ready to go.

  Pulse? By yourself?

  No, Lena and Todd are here.

  I'm on my way. Stay with your friend.

  A shiver of foreboding worked its way down my spine as I looked around the place. The lights were dim so it was hard to see around but I was definitely getting a creepy vibe. Moments later, Todd appeared, red-faced and angry.

  Let's go, babe."

  Babe? I knew Lena hated endearments like that but when she made no attempt to correct him I felt disgust and then Todd turned to me.

  "You coming?"

  "No, babe, but thanks."

  I didn't miss the flare of temper that burned in his eyes but then he shrugged and started pulling Lena away. And Lena, never gave me a backwards glance, as she obediently followed after him. Nice.

  So, there I was alone in this creepy-ass place. I wondered how far away Trace was and was going to text him but then I noticed a few guys at the bar, leering at me. It wasn't my looks, or lack
there of, it was the fact that I was female and alone. I was like roadkill and these guys were the vultures.

  I wasn't sure if I should leave because the surrounding neighborhood was a bit scary, or should I stay and be a sitting duck? I decided to go to the restrooms and lock myself in until Trace arrived. I stood and made my way through the crowds when a shadow fell upon me and I looked up into very black eyes.

  "Hello, there. What have we here? Aren't you a sweet, little thing."

  "Excuse me," I muttered and tried to move away but his hand on my arm stayed that action.

  "Where's the fire, sweetheart? Let's get to know each other."

  "No, thank you."

  "Oh, come on, don't break my heart."

  "I really have to go."

  He moved then, pushing me up against the wall, pinning me there with his large body.

  "I just want a taste."

  I could smell the beer on his breath and the hard length of him against my stomach. My fear turned me numb. I tried to push him away but that was as effective as the big bad wolf trying to blow down that brick house. His fingers tangled in my hair and his breath brushed over my cheek. "Maybe you'll like it."

  He lowered his head but I turned my head, right before his lips touched mine, causing him to press a kiss into my hair. I felt as his fingers tightened on my scalp as he turned my head to hold me steady.

  "Just one kiss."

  Panic brought my foot down on his instep harder than I planned but the act forced him to release me as he howled in pain. His eyes returned to mine and I saw the violence burning in their black depths. He lifted his hand, curling his fingers into a fist but before he could release the punch a hand came out of no where and grabbed it, yanking him back so hard that I heard the pop of his shoulder.

  "Fuck!" he howled, as he stumbled to his knees in pain. When he looked up I saw fear in his eyes as Trace came to stand just in front of him.

  "You dislocated my fuckin' shoulder."

  Pain was making his voice higher pitched but Trace watched him completely unmoved and when he spoke his voice was devoid of all emotion.

  "Forcing yourself on a woman is bad enough but hitting a woman is inexcusable." And without further adieu Trace moved, with astounding speed, and plowed his fist into the man's face in a quick succession of five before the man dropped into a dead faint. Trace's eyes found mine and were burning with temper.

  "I told you to stay with your friend."

  "They left."

  "Son of a bitch," he growled.

  I felt the tears pricking my eyes just as my body started to shake. Faster than would seem possible, Trace was there, wrapping me in his arms. His heart was pounding in his chest, his body rigid and tense, but his embrace was warm. In the back of my mind I had the sense that this hug was just as much to comfort him as it was for me.

  "Are you okay?" he whispered.

  "Yes."

  "You don't belong in this place. Your friends are assholes." I could hear the anger returning to his voice. I wondered what it was about this place that Trace objected to, outside of the obvious. He was right though I didn't belong here and had it not been for my spineless roommate and her jackass boyfriend, I wouldn't be.

  He pulled back and looked down at me. I lifted my eyes to his and offered a heart-felt, "Thank you."

  Even though his eyes were still burning with temper, there was a slight tug on his lips when he replied, "Rescuing you seems to be turning into a habit."

  He held my gaze when he asked, "Are you still up for going out?"

  "Yes."

  He reached for my hand, linked our fingers and pulled me from the place. Once we were on his bike, cruising down the street, I rested my cheek against his back as I trembled just thinking about that man with his hands on me. Trace saved me again and just in the nick of time. He really was like my own inked guardian angel.

  We arrived at a small club as Trace parked and waited for me to climb off. He reached for my hand and led me inside and once we were seated his eyes found mine.

  "Are you okay?"

  "I am, now."

  He leaned back in his chair but I didn't miss the clenching of his jaw and then he said, "I'm trying to do the right thing here, Ember."

  I leaned up and rested my elbows on the table and asked, "What does that mean?"

  His eyes never left mine when he said, "I want you but I don't want to want you."

  I couldn't describe the emotions that burned through me in response to that comment. There was delight, shock and hurt to name a few. My voice wasn't quite steady when I offered, "I understand."

  He tilted his head before he asked, "What is it that you understand, Ember?"

  I felt the blush so I lowered my head before I replied, "You are so out of my league."

  His thumb touched my chin as he lifted my gaze to his and when I looked into his eyes the emotions I saw burning in them were unfathomable.

  "I'm the one who falls way short, Ember, not you."

  I held his gaze and offered, "For the record, I want you, too."

  His eyes flashed but he said nothing and then stood and reached for my hand. My eyes moved to our joined hands and up his inked arm to his face. His voice was so very soft when he whispered, "Dance with me."

  I didn't have to think on that as I allowed him to pull me onto the floor. James Blunt's You're Beautiful was playing as Trace turned me to him and pulled me close so that our bodies were pressed together from chest to thigh. His arm came around my waist pulling me even closer against his hard body, while the hand that held mine came to rest over his heart. His eyes were dark and filled with secrets but it was the look burning in them that had my heart nearly beating out of my chest. Our bodies swayed ever so gently and his grip on me never eased as if he was trying to absorb me into him. As the song came to an end he lowered his head so his lips were right near my ear and he sang along softly.

  You're beautiful. It's true.

  There must be an angel with a smile on her face.

  When she thought up that I should be with you.

  But it's time to face the truth,

  I'm never going to be with you.

  I closed my eyes as unfathomable emotions rocked me. It was instinct, and a deep want that had me turning my head to press my lips to his neck. My lips lingering until the song was over. His thumb touched my chin and lifted my gaze to his.

  "I'm not good for you, Ember, but I can't seem to stay away from you, either."

  His hands moved up to frame my face just as his mouth captured mine. He tilted my head as he took the kiss deeper and it was the most carnal kiss I'd ever experienced. I felt as my bones melted and though I suspected I was about to spontaneously combust from the heat burning through me, I knew I would die a happy woman. With effort he pulled away from me but his thumb reached up to brush over my lower lip and his eyes followed the progress. He finally lifted those eyes to mine and I saw what I was feeling looking back at me. He pulled me against him and held me there for a good long time.

  Chapter Five

  I was floating on cloud nine as I made my way to Starbucks after my run. My thoughts were completely on Trace and I knew as I thought of him that I had a goofy smile on my face but I couldn't help it. I was happy -- really, really happy. I reached Starbucks and ordered my coffee. I was about to hand the woman a twenty when suddenly a hand appeared which was attached to an arm that, though covered, I recognized immediately.

  "My treat."

  The goosebumps were completely involuntary as was the small hitch in my breathing when I turned to see Trace standing there.

  "Hello, Ember."

  "Trace!" Seeing him had a warmth burning through me as my heart skipped a few beats. He waited for me to add cream to my coffee before he held the door for me. He fell into step at my side but I imagined we made quite a funny picture since he is a foot taller than me.

  "Thanks for the coffee," I said as I eyed him from over my cup. His head turned in my direction and our eyes
met and held. He didn't say a word, but his eyes were saying plenty, and then he asked, "Did you run this morning?"

  "Yes. I run so I can feed my cake-pop habit."

  A grin flirted around his lips as he looked down at me and, dear god, it was amazing that my brain could even hold onto a thought looking at such masculine beauty. I could see only a part of his back tattoo, the section that moved up his neck to his hairline, and I wanted to run my tongue along those scroll lines. I wanted to do that more than I wanted another cake-pop.

  I blushed but not as much as when my eyes returned to his to see that he was watching me closely. I wanted to kiss him, wanted to throw myself into his arms and feel those lips on mine again. I didn't though because I sensed that Trace had an internal struggle going on. Like he said the previous night, he wanted me but he didn't want to want me. So instead of picking his brain to find out what he was thinking I instead asked, "What is that on your back?"

  "Celtic symbols."

  "Does it hurt?"

  "Tattoos?"

  "Yeah."

  "Irritating but not necessarily painful." His lips turned up on one side before he asked, "Are you inked?"

  I almost choked on my coffee with that question before I offered rather weakly, "No, it's so permanent. I'd only do it if I knew with absolute certainty that what I wanted done I'd want forever. How often is anyone that sure?"

  "It's just as well. You have beautiful skin, Ember. It would be a crime for you to mark it."

  I blushed at his words, which made him smile, before I asked, "Can I see the tat on your arm?"

  I knew I threw him with that question but he recovered quickly before agreeing.

  He reached for my hand and pulled me from the sidewalk to the shade of a tree before he took off his jacket and pulled his t-shirt sleeve up over his shoulder. My mouth went dry watching the play of his muscles from that simple act. I handed my cup to him before I took his arm in both of my hands and really studied the scene.