Beautifully Damaged

by L. A. Fiore

  "See you later, Luke."

  "Take care, Ember."

  Trace pulled me through the crowd and like I observed before, people parted to let him pass. It made it easier for me to see the looks on their faces, particularly the women, who were not at all happy to see him leaving with a wallflower like me. One woman specifically looked downright ornery and then I realized that she probably had been his date for the night. That thought hurt -- a lot actually. I pulled on his hand which had him looking down at me.

  "What about your date?"

  The look he gave me had my heart flipping over in my chest. "She's not my date."

  We reached the coat-check before Trace asked, "Do you have a jacket, Ember?"

  "No."

  He took his and as soon as we stepped outside he turned to me while holding up his jacket.

  "It's cold." Was all he said as I obediently slipped my arms into it. His bike was parked right at the door as he reached for the helmet and placed it on my head before settling on his bike and holding it for me. I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around his waist as we started down the street.

  When we reached his apartment he led me down the hall and opened a door to a bedroom with a large oak bed situated in the middle of the room. The walls were painted the same gray as the living room and, again, I was surprised, and pleased, with the quiet elegance.

  "Thank you, Trace, for letting me stay here."

  "My room's across the hall and the bathroom, as you know, is the last door on the left. I'll get you a t-shirt and some boxers to sleep in."

  He returned with my sleepwear and I turned to him as he stood there filling the doorway. I wanted him and the intensity of my desire for him was startling. Though he was still watching me, I offered him a smile before I said, "Goodnight."

  Sleep wouldn't come as I tossed and turned for over an hour. I gave up and climbed from bed thinking that a cup of warm milk or tea might help. I reached the living room and my feet just stopped because Trace was there sitting on the sofa. He looked at me and smiled before he asked, "Is everything okay?"

  "Yes. I just can't seem to sleep."

  "Can I get you something?" He grinned before he added, "I have tea."

  A warmth burned all the way down to my toes in response before I said, "That would be great."

  He stood and as he walked past me he reached for my hand and pulled me down the hall to the kitchen. Once I was settled at a stool at the bar, he moved through the kitchen to make my tea.

  "Couldn't you sleep either?"

  "I don't sleep much."

  "Really?"

  He was silent for a minute before he offered, "It's habit."

  I tilted my head as I held his gaze before I said, "...and you don't want to talk about it."

  There was the slightest of grins on his face when he replied, "No."

  "Okay."

  He turned from me to add water to the kettle. "Thank you for earlier, Trace."

  I saw as his shoulders tensed before he all but growled, "Dane's an asshole."

  "Agreed."

  I watched as he lit the gas under the kettle before he turned and leaned up against the counter as his eyes sought and found mine. "Is that why you can't sleep?"

  The thought of what could have happened left a chill going down my spine and Trace noticed.

  "That fucker won't touch you."

  I smiled in response at the protective tone in Trace's voice. "I'm not worried about that but I was lucky that you were at Sapphire."

  Trace's reaction was slight but definite and I wondered what exactly brought him to Sapphire in the first place. My heart leaped thinking he was there for me but even before the thought was fully formed I dismissed it as ridiculous. He clearly wasn't going to offer any insight so I moved on.

  "I couldn't sleep because I found myself wondering if Lena knew what Todd and Dane were planning. I can't imagine that she didn't and how could she sit back and do nothing? I realize she isn't the person I thought she was but her staying silent is as depraved as Todd and Dane's behavior."

  "I agree."

  "It's a bit hard to believe that I was so blind to her real nature."

  "You're in the situation, Ember, it's harder to see clearly when you're involved."

  "That sounds like something my dad would say."

  His smile was charming in response. I didn't want to think about Lena any more so I changed the subject.

  "If you rarely sleep then what do you do in the evenings?" And then I blushed when I realized what I asked and what the most likely answer was for his nocturnal activities. He was clearly a mind reader when a grin cracked over his face.

  "Lately, I find myself reading or playing video games."

  Lately, like how lately? Oh, man, I so wanted to ask that but I chickened out. Instead I gestured towards the living room. "So you don't generally sit in the dark and stare at the wall?"

  He laughed at that. "No, I was thinking."

  "...about?"

  His eyes flashed hot before he offered very softly, "You."

  I almost swooned right there in his kitchen as I held his heated gaze. He leaned toward me as his eyes moved to my lips and my heart immediately went into my throat. I almost crawled onto the counter to get to him but the sound of the kettle pulled us from the moment. Trace turned and busied himself with making my tea and I just watched completely unrepentant at the play on his muscles as he did so. When he turned back to me I was staring and I didn't care that he knew it.

  "Would you like company, Trace?"

  "Yes."

  I smiled as I stood and reached for his free hand. "Cool."

  We walked down the hall to the living room. Trace turned on the light before we settled on the sofa. He handed me my tea and when I took a sip my heart flipped over in my chest because it was Earl Grey with lavender honey. I lifted my eyes to him as I smiled.

  "Thank you. This is delicious."

  "My pleasure, Ember."

  I pulled my feet up under me as I held his gaze. "So, Trace what are your thoughts on Clark W. Griswold?"

  His laughter filled the silence.

  The next morning, I awoke but it took me some time to climb from such a really comfortable bed. I eventually padded to the bathroom and took care of business before heading to the kitchen to make some coffee but stopped just at the threshold of the kitchen because Trace was there with his bare back to me. My word, I really loved looking at his body. His jeans hung low on his hips as thick ropes of muscles framed his spine. His shoulder blades were huge and his waist narrow. The tattoo started mid-back and moved up in a swirling scroll-work pattern over his shoulders and up his neck. As he moved, his muscles made it seem like the artwork was dancing along his skin.

  He must have sensed me and turned to see me staring. That I wasn't drooling was remarkable. His gaze was hot and intense as his eyes moved from my head down my body. Though he wasn't touching me, my body tingled as if he was. When his eyes found mine, again, they were darker and his voice, when he spoke, was hoarse.

  "Did you get any sleep?"

  "I did. It's a very comfortable bed."

  Since I blushed and he grinned, I knew that we both had the same thought: us, that bed, naked. He seemed to recover faster than me. He leaned against the counter and pushed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans and the sight of that gorgeous chest, his rock-hard abs and those magnificent arms with his triceps bulging from his stance had me biting the inside of my mouth to keep myself from doing something stupid, like whimper.

  "I thought we could go over to your apartment and get your stuff."

  I didn't say anything but, clearly, the man was a mind reader when his eyes narrowed and he shook his head ever so slightly.

  "You aren't going there alone, Ember."

  "It's my apartment."

  He only responded by shaking his head.

  "I've lived there with no problems for over a year."

  No response as he just stood there looking at me in an a
lpha-male sort of way.

  "You're not going there alone."

  I could tell from the thin line of his lips and the determined look in his eyes that he wasn't going to back down, so I threw up my arms in defeat. "Fine."

  He accepted victory graciously as he watched me in that silent way of his, and then he asked, "How about if I make us some eggs?"

  It wasn't even a conscious thought as I took a step closer to him and smiled.

  "That would be great."

  Retrieving my things was uneventful since no one was home. After the previous night, I imagined Dane was already south of the border and Todd, well, he was probably hiding behind Lena. I liked seeing Trace in my apartment, watching him touch my things as he helped me pack.

  "I'll call a Realtor and have them start looking for something for me."

  "I have a spare bedroom, Ember, there's no reason why you can't stay with me."

  "I don't want to cramp your style."

  He held my gaze before he replied, "You won't."

  The thought of seeing him everyday almost had me jumping up and down. It was a pretty big jump, considering we hadn't known each other all that long, but I didn't care.

  "Thank you, Trace, but if my presence becomes a problem please tell me."

  "That could never happen, Ember."

  The following morning, Trace woke me from a sound sleep with breakfast in bed. It was a treat waking up to that face and even more so when he laid the tray down to help settle me against the headboard. He placed the tray on my lap and lay next to me to watch as I ate. After a few mouthfuls, I scooped up some eggs and offered them to him and he didn't hesitate to open wide, which made me smile.

  "Thank you. I haven't had breakfast in bed since my ninth birthday when my dad brought me a Belgian waffle, smothered in strawberries and whipped cream." I lifted my eyes to him before I asked, "What are your plans for the day?"

  "I need to get groceries. Maybe you could come with me."

  "I'd like that."

  Food shopping with Trace was definitely an experience. He tended to buy things in bulk and I understood this as I looked at him. His size alone requires him to eat at least twice what a normal person would. To watch him eat, you would never believe that he hasn't an ounce of extra flesh on his frame. Another interesting observation was people's reactions to him because he really was a sight with his dark beauty and his six-feet-four-inches of muscles and tattoos. Seeing him in all his hard-ass glory while he looked at the nutritional information on a box of cookies was so freaking adorable.

  We were standing in the baked-goods section where I discovered that Trace has a sweet tooth. While looking at the case filled with sweet treats, he asked, "What do you like better, cakes or pies?"

  "I like them both but I rarely eat them, too fattening." My cake-pop fetish doesn't count since they are so small they are almost nonexistent. Nevermind that I tend to eat several at one time.

  He took a step back and, quite intentionally, looked me from head to toe and back again before a grin tugged at his mouth.

  "You could stand to put on a few pounds."

  "No way, I'm heavier than I look."

  "Really?"

  Faster than my brain could compute, he snatched me up over his head like a barbell and repeatedly pressed me as if I weighed no more than a sack of potatoes. He was causing quite a scene. Well, maybe it was my shrill screeching for him to put me down. He finally placed me gently back on my feet and actually got an applause from the people around us, which he accepted with a bow before turning back to me and laughing.

  "Like I said, you could stand to put on a few pounds."

  I strove for a stern face but the boyish look in his eyes was my undoing as I laughed right along with him.

  I had to work throughout the following evening so by the time my shift was over, I was dead on my feet. I settled my checks with Trent and headed outside to hail a cab but as soon as I stepped into the cool night my feet stopped of their own volition to see Trace leaning against his bike.

  "What are you doing here?"

  "I figured you'd be hungry and tired so I came to feed you before getting you home and into bed."

  He said it, his eyes darkened and I knew that he, too, was thinking of us, naked in bed. I had to fan myself from the mere thought of it as I said, "I like the sound of that."

  "Behave." His voice was oddly hoarse when he issued that reprimand before he added, "...in bed alone."

  "I didn't doubt it but a girl can dream."

  I heard as he growled, low in his throat, which only made me grin before I asked, "I thought you had a fight tonight?"

  "I did."

  "Did you go?"

  "No."

  "Why?"

  "I wanted to see you more."

  I was speechless. He touched my cheek before he whispered, "Come on; let me feed you."

  I smiled as my eyes sparkled with mischief. "...and take me to bed. Don't forget."

  "I'm going to put you over my knee."

  "Oh, I wish."

  He was laughing as he straddled his motorcycle.

  In the weeks that followed I started to see a change in Trace. He was happy. The coldness in his eyes was gone and that vacant look, which I'd seen too many times to count, was appearing less and less. He'd let me see a part of him that he kept hidden and I realized that I had been right, there really was so much more to Trace than met the eyes.

  His demons still haunted him though and still influenced how he felt about himself. I wished he would talk to me and let me in but any attempt I made to talk to him about his past was very efficiently shutdown. Could people truly be happy if they were unwilling to put the ghosts of their past to rest? I suspected no.

  Trace and I were out with Rafe at a local bar and as I watched them, I couldn't help but smile. There was a lightheartedness to Trace, something I knew that Rafe picked up on, too, if his looks in my direction were any indication. I was happy to see the change in Trace -- thrilled even -- but I had the sense that the other shoe was going to drop. I had the feeling that this more carefree Trace was just temporary and that eventually his past was going to catch up to him again. This time, when it did, I was at a real risk of having my heart broken because I had gone and done the unthinkable. I was falling in love with Trace and whenever he was to walk away, he'd be taking my heart with him.

  On Sunday morning, I was awaken by a heavy object dropping onto my bed. When I peeled my eyes open I saw Trace grinning at me as he lay next to me with his head on his upturned hand. Like every other morning, I needed a minute because, damn, it was really nice waking up to that face.

  "What time is it?"

  "Seven."

  "Ugh!" I pulled my covers up over my head and rolled onto my side. "Go away and come back when the big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is on the ten."

  "What do you want to do today?"

  "Sleep."

  "Since I'm free today, we should do something. What do you normally do on Sunday?"

  I lowered the covers and sat up since I'd come to learn that Trace was very chatty in the morning.

  "I usually curl up on the sofa and read, sometimes I watch a movie, and sometimes I hog-tie overly jubilant morning-people and tickle them with a feather."

  His smile was completely unrepentant and why I found that so endearing I couldn't say. "What do you do?"

  He shrugged before he said, "Nothing."

  "Nothing, like at all? You just, what, sit in the living room and stare at the ceiling?"

  He reached over and tugged on a lock of my hair before he rolled onto his back and folded his arms under his head.

  "I usually just watch TV but with you here we should do something."

  "Like what?"

  "I don't know. Is there something you've wanted to do in the city that you haven't had an opportunity to do yet?"

  "I'd like to see the Statue of Liberty."

  He sat up at that and grinned. "Then that's what we'll do. Get dre
ssed."

  After Trace left my room I climbed from bed and quickly made it before tugging on a pair of jeans and a black sweater. I had to dig around in the closet for my black Converse sneakers before I ran a brush through my hair and pulled it up into a ponytail. After a quick trip to the bathroom, I was ready to go as I carried my leather jacket down the hall to the kitchen where Trace was already waiting.

  His back was to me so I took a moment to soak up the sight of him. He was dressed in jeans but, instead of his standard t-shirt, he was wearing a sweater of a color in the exact shade of his eyes. Regardless of how the sweater looked, there was no denying the powerful body underneath it.

  "I'm ready."

  He turned and moved his eyes over me in a manner very much like the thorough perusal I had just given to him. When they finally settled on mine there was no denying the heat burning in them. He slid on his jacket and helped me with mine before he reached for my hand and led me from the apartment.

  The drive through the city went pretty quickly since the traffic was so light and before long, we were parking near the docks. We climbed off his bike and Trace reached for my hand as we followed the signs for the Statue of Liberty ferries.

  "Have you ever been to the Statue of Liberty?" I asked suspecting that he had been multiple times so I was more than a little surprised when he answered no.

  "I thought you grew up in the city."

  "No, I moved here when I was fifteen."

  "Oh."

  I could tell by the tightness of his voice, and the clenching of his jaw, that I was dangerously close to a topic he didn't want to discuss so I immediately attempted to switch gears.

  "I can take apart an engine and put it back together again."

  He stopped walking as he looked down at me with the oddest expression on his face.

  "Yeah, my dad taught me. I was the only kid in shop class, who got an A on that assignment."

  I watched as the tension drained from him and a smile tugged at his mouth.

  "What else did your dad teach you?"

  "I can run a pool table."

  This had him laughing and the sound was so wonderful that I found I was looking for things to say to make him do it again.