Fake It

by Alexis Winter

  I toss the letter back onto the nightstand and make my way out of the room. I stop briefly, and without turning around, say, “I won’t get in your way, Sam. The other check will be on the counter for you in the morning. Have a nice life.” I shut the door behind me and head back to my room.

  IT’S BEEN BARELY a week since she moved out. She didn’t say goodbye, didn’t leave me her address, and didn’t even text me. She just left that damn letter on the counter next to the ring. Talk about a kick to the fucking stomach.

  I stare out the window at the city, but the light behind me causes me to catch my reflection in the window. I’m unshaven and unkempt. My hair is a wild mess, and I’m pretty positive I haven’t showered in three days.

  It physically hurts—that’s how much I miss her. I even miss the damn cat. I miss the way she always hummed “Moon River” on repeat while she did pretty much anything.

  Griffin has tried to reach out to me a few times, but I’ve told him I’m not in the mood. My law partners are worried sick, but I’ve just told them it’s a bout of pneumonia and that I’ll be back in no time.

  If I’m honest, I thought that if a woman ever got to me, I’d bounce back like it was nothing. I always figured that, after a few hours of reflection, I’d be back in the clubs looking for my next conquest…but nope. This real love shit is the worst. No wonder Griffin was a wreck when he heard El had skipped town. At least he had the balls to go after her. Heartbreak is no joke.

  I groan as I rub my hands over my face. The doorbell buzzes, bringing me out of my moment of wallowing. I check the time on my phone, “Who the fuck is here this late?” I walk to the front door and barely get it open before El is pushing her way into my house.

  “You have to go talk to her!” She’s barely over five feet tall, but she has her finger pointed right up in my face.

  “Hello, El, nice to see you too.”

  “I’m serious, Cameron, you need to tell her how you feel. And before you try to deny it, you look like complete shit. You have ‘heartbroken, lovesick, and hung over’ written all over your unshaven face.” Jesus, this woman has a flea up her ass, though she isn’t wrong.

  “Trust me, El, I made my intentions clear to her. I told her I loved her and she didn’t reciprocate.” I turn around and walk farther into the kitchen in search of a much-needed bottle of water.

  “You what? She never said anything about that. When did that happen?” She looks deflated.

  “Over a week ago. I had apologized to her and we had an amazing night and I was holding her and whispered it in her ear.” I can’t believe I’m confessing this to her.

  “OH. MY. GOD. Cam, she thought she was dreaming! She told me that she thought she heard you say that, but she figured you were asleep or she had imagined it or was dreaming or something.”

  I stand there a little dumbfounded. Shit. Maybe she really had been asleep.

  “Well, it’s too late anyway, El. She’s dating that doctor, and I’m sure he can give her the whole suburban fantasy of kids and a minivan or whatever.”

  She rolls her eyes, “Man, you really are something stupid.” Her words shock me.

  “She isn’t dating Dr. McSe—Dr. Ken. She went on one date with him and told me that she couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire time. She doesn’t even work at his hospital anymore.” She throws her hands up in the air and walks over to grab a bottle of water.

  “You know, it’s astounding how little you two communicated throughout all of this. Sure, you slept together, but would it have killed either of you to just say, ‘Hey, I like you. Can we try this?’ I mean, my God, I am pissed out of my pregnant mind because of you! Next time, do me a favor and exhaust all of your options before you guys turn this into some big drawn-out thing that nearly sends me into labor. Jesus!”

  I can’t help but laugh a little at her outburst and the fact that I’ve been wallowing for no reason. The poor woman rubs her belly before darting to the bathroom. I can’t believe I completely misread everything. I’m such a fucking idiot. But then panic hits me again. Just because she isn’t dating the doctor doesn’t mean she wants to be with me. She still celebrated leaving here and ran at the first chance. She’s never tried contacting me or telling me how she feels.

  I’m deep in thought when El emerges from the bathroom. “Do yourself a favor and don’t starting questioning things. I can see it all over your face. She’s in love with you, Cameron. She told me weeks ago, but like you, she misread everything and made her own crazy assumptions instead of just telling you how she feels. Though in her defense, your track record with leaving women high and dry freaked her out.”

  “Yeah, not to mention I also told her the last woman I’d been with was a hookup in a public restroom at a club.”

  She has a totally reasonable look of disgust on her face, “Why? Just why, Cam?” She rolls her eyes and makes her way toward the door. “Never mind, I don’t want to know. But be warned,” she turns to face me and grabs a fistful of my shirt, causing my 6’4” frame to bend down to her eye level, “if you hurt her or treat her like some piece of ass, I will honor my earlier promise: I will rip your balls off—CLEAN OFF!” She emphasizes the last two words with a grabbing motion. I can’t help but be a little scared as I swallow down the lump in my throat. “We clear?” she asks.

  I stand up and smooth out my shirt as she walks out the front door. “Crystal clear,” I say after her. Sam is the one woman I’m not letting get away. Not a chance in hell.

  The next morning, I get ready early and stop by the same florist to pick up some flowers. I jump in my Tesla and punch Samantha’s new address—helpfully provided by El—into my GPS. I got the “all-clear” text from El this morning that Sam would be home today.

  It’s about a fifty-five-minute commute to her new place, and my nerves are in overdrive. I jump into the express lane and stomp on the pedal. I manage to cut the trip down to forty-three minutes, but I now sit frozen in my car outside her apartment building. Thoughts of doubt still bounce around my head. At this point, though, I have nothing left to lose.

  I knock on her door and hear the bell on Cocoa’s collar bouncing around inside. I reach into my back pocket and pull out the cat treats I picked up for her. I hold the flowers over the peephole, figuring Sam might not answer if she sees my face. As the door slowly opens, a look of shock registers on her face.

  “Uh, hey,” she says, half-hiding behind the door.

  “May I come in?” I ask quietly. She looks down, assesses her outfit, and gingerly opens the door a little more.

  “I’m sorry—I wasn’t exactly expecting company.” Her new place is spotless but she’s dressed in one of my t-shirts and sweats. She looks like she’s been going through exactly what I’ve experienced. A wave of relief rolls through me.

  “Nice shirt.” I point at it; she must have taken it from the floor of my bedroom after we had…been together.

  “Oh, yeah, sorry. I shouldn’t have taken it. I think I accidentally packed it, actually.” She seems like a shell of herself as she pulls at the oversized clothing. It breaks my heart to know I’m the cause of her pain and sadness.

  “Sooo, what are you doing here, Cam?”

  “Look, Samantha, I’m going to get straight to the point.” I lay the flowers and treats down on the table. “I’m in love with you. I have been for—well, for a long time. You’re all I think about. I miss your smell, I miss holding you, I even miss Cocoa. I—I know I fucked up big time. I wrongfully assumed that you were dating the doctor and that you wanted nothing to do with me. I thought you were just going along with everything to make the situation more tolerable, but that you didn’t really care for me at all. And you weren’t wrong that night when you thought you heard me say ‘I love you.’ I did, but I was just an idiot and mumbled it when you were already half-asleep. I was scared. I am scared…”

  I’m rambling—I can feel the words vomiting out of my mouth, but I can’t seem to stop. I’m not even sure if I’m mak
ing sense or getting through to her, but I see big tears well up in her eyes and begin to fall down her cheeks.

  I reach out and wipe one away, but I don’t remove my hand from her cheek. “Samantha, I’m sorry. I understand any fear or apprehension you may have about me—about the kind of man I am. I would, too, to be honest. I swear you’ve changed me. You’ve made me want to be the man I’ve always wanted to be. When I think about my life and my future…it’s you. You’re it for me, Sam. You’re my everything.”

  She doesn’t say a word. She stands there staring at the floor with tears rolling down her cheeks.

  “Sam,” I whisper, “say something. Anything.” I’m terrified.

  And then she lunges at me. She wraps her arms around my neck so tight. “I love you too,” she says against my neck. I can feel her warm tears against my skin as she exhales a shaky breath and continues, “I wanted you to love me so bad.” I squeeze her tighter.

  Suddenly, she pulls away and runs to the bathroom before emerging again. “Sorry, I had to splash some water on my face.” She takes my hand and pulls me to the couch. “I’m sorry, too. I know I made assumptions as well, and to be honest, I judged you. I was terrified of ending up as just another one of the women in your life—still am, actually. I tried to move on. I really did. I wanted to like Dr. Ken so much. I kept telling myself that he’s the kind of man I should be with, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the way you make me feel, the way you touch me, and the way you look at me when you kiss me. It’s like you’re actually seeing me.”

  I reach my hand back up to her cheek and pull her toward my mouth. He lips are soft and plump from her tears. It only takes a second before the kiss deepens and she’s climbing on top of me on the couch. “Wait—wait, Sam! I don’t want you to think this is just about sex, or…” Before I can finish, her lips are back on mine.

  “Shut up and kiss me,” she says between kisses. Her tongue snakes its way into my mouth as she paws at the buttons on my shirt. We’re both in a frenzy to strip each other of our clothes. The sound of plastic and yowling interrupts our passionate makeup session, and we both laugh to find Cocoa on the table, chewing on the bag of treats I bought her.

  “I actually missed that damn cat, ya know?” Sam smiles at my comment as she climbs off of me to give her a few of the treats. I continue, “I was thinking, when you move back in, she can have free roam of the house.” I pick at the couch cushion nervously.

  “When I move back in?” she says, turning around.

  “Yeah, I figure you’ve had a week of space. It’s early enough in your lease that we should be able to cancel it without too much of a hassle.”

  “Is that so, Mr. Styles? You’re just deciding what I’m doing now?”

  I give her a smirk as I slowly make my way over to her. “Yes, Ms. Fox, I am. Do you have a problem with that?” I grab a handful of her ass as I take her in a deep, passionate kiss. “That’s what I thought. I like my women obedient and ready to please me at a moment’s notice,” I whisper in her ear as I press her against the wall and shove my hand down her panties. I know she loves when I’m dominant with her; she gets off on the dirty talk.

  She’s already wet and panting for me. I bet I can get her off in thirty seconds. She’s writhing against me, and I can feel her getting close. She grabs my shirt and pulls me in for another kiss then whispers in my ear.

  “That’s not in the contract, Counselor.”

  EPILOGUE

  SAMANTHA

  Eighteen months later…

  * * *

  “SAMANTHA!” Cameron shouts my name for the third time.

  “I said I’m coming!” I shout back, giving myself a final look in the mirror in our closet. We finally have a date night scheduled with Griffin and El. Since the birth of their son, Quinton, we barely even see them anymore, which is to be expected. We convinced them to grab a babysitter and accompany us out for some drinks and dancing.

  “Ow!” I yelp as Cameron’s hand lands a loud smack! on my ass.

  “I told you ten minutes ago to get your perky little ass downstairs. Do I need to teach you another lesson in obedience, Ms. Fox?” A tingle runs through my lower belly as I think about the last time he “taught me a lesson in obedience.” He’d left me quivering and begging for release as he teased me for over an hour.

  He pulls my back against his chest as he locks eyes with me in the mirror. Placing one hand on my hip, he uses his other to smooth my hair to one side, leaving my neck exposed.

  “Maybe,” I say as I bite my bottom lip and push my backside into his growing erection.

  He lets out a small groan as he runs his lips up my neck until he gets to my earlobe, nipping it before whispering, “You are such a fucking tease, baby. You sure you want to do this? Just remember it means you’re going to have to explain to our friends why we’re late.”

  My knees are weak and I know exactly what he wants me to do. I slowly pull my straps down my arms until the top of my dress falls, exposing my breasts to him.

  “Mmm, that’s a good girl,” he says as he moves his hand from my hip to my breast, pinching the nipple as he continues to lick and nibble along my neck. I can feel my pulse quicken and a pressure begin to build between my thighs.

  “Keep your eyes on me, sweetheart. I want you to slip your hand up your thigh and into your panties.” I do as he says—all the while keeping my eyes on his. “Now rub your clit for me.”

  I slowly begin to rub my clit, slickness already coating my fingers. I quicken my pace as the pleasure begins to build even faster. Cameron continues to whisper naughty things in my ear as he pinches my nipple and bites my neck. “Put your fingers in that tight little pussy, baby. I want to see you cum.” With those words, I slide two fingers inside myself as my top half falls forward and I catch myself against the mirror with my free hand. My body convulses as my thighs clench together. Wave after wave of pleasure rolls through me from my earlobes to my toes.

  Cameron pulls my hand from my panties and licks my fingers clean before pulling the straps up my dress and covering my breasts. “Good job, sweetheart. Now go clean up and come downstairs. We’re late.” He gives me a soft kiss and winks before he turns and walks out of the room.

  We laugh and scroll through what must be hundreds of pictures of Griffin and El’s toddler. I can’t believe my best friend is a mom. The looks on both their faces fill me with so much joy and cause a tear to prick my eye. “When are we going to have one of those?” Cameron leans over and mumbles in my ear.

  I stare back at him in shock. “Are you serious?” We’ve certainly talked about a future together, but neither of us has seriously or even jokingly discussed children. Truthfully, I never thought I’d want children. Cocoa was enough, but over the last few months, I must admit my maternal instincts have kicked into overdrive.

  “Just a thought, baby. Nothing we need to decide right now.” He kisses the top of my head and we lift our glasses to Griffin and El and their little bundle of joy.

  “You guys ready for some karaoke?” Cam says as he rubs his hands together in excitement.

  “Oh boy, I’m more nervous about this than I was about labor!” El jokes.

  Cam and Griffin had told us about this karaoke bar they’d found and insisted we had to check it out. I’m not shy, but singing in front of others isn’t exactly my forte.

  The bar isn’t too busy, so I’m hopeful I won’t make too much of a fool of myself. We watch a few others go first and my nerves calm a little.

  “Next up, Janelle and Samantha singing ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun’ by Cindi Lauper,” the emcee announces.

  “What?” I exclaim. El laughs as she grabs my hand and pulls me up on stage.

  “I knew if I told you, you’d back out,” El admits. They hand us microphones and the music starts up. “Just go with it!”

  I let loose and sing my heart out, dancing around the stage and having the time of my life. We finish our song and head back to the guys, who are cheering, whis
tling, and giving us a standing ovation.

  “Next up, Cameron singing ‘Wonderful Tonight’ by Eric Clapton.”

  Cameron squeezes my arm on his way up to the stage. “Before I sing this, I want to take a moment to say something to an amazing woman.”

  My heart is pounding and I can’t stop the huge grin from spreading across my face.

  “Samantha, I thought I was happy and that I knew what I wanted in life before I met you. I thought I was content being an arrogant and pompous ass, and that pushing people away was the answer to my own issues. But since you’ve come into my life, you have shown me what it means to be happy. You have shown me through your own values and actions that I not only need to be a better man, but that I want to be a better man, because I want to be the kind of man who deserves you. Sam, I love you more than words can express; thank you for showing me what true love is.”

  Everyone cheers and claps as the music starts up and Cameron serenades me. He puts on a show, walking around the room and hitting all the notes perfectly. I had no idea singing was one of his many talents.

  As the song comes to an end, he hits the last note on bended knee in front of me. The spotlight is on both of us as he reaches into his pocket. “Samantha, you are everything I could wish for. When I’m with you, I’m home. Will you marry me?” He pulls out a gorgeous princess-cut champagne diamond surrounded by a halo of smaller diamonds. The light catches the ring and I’m dumbfounded. It was the ring I had pointed out at Tiffany’s almost two years ago. He remembered!

  “Yes! Yes!” I say as tears pour down my face. He slips the ring on my finger and pulls me in for a tear-soaked kiss. I wrap my arms around him and he stands, picking me up and spinning me around to the cheers of the crowd.

  I wipe the tears away as El pipes up and raises her glass, “I just want to take this moment to take credit for setting this up. If it hadn’t been for me suggesting that Sam take your stupid-ass fake fiancée job, we wouldn’t be sitting here celebrating this.” We laugh as we raise our glasses and toast to a bright future together.