The wife stuck her tongue out at him and I gripped Cole's hand so hard he hissed.
"Skye?"
"It's her. Oh, shit. Oh my God. Oh. My. God. Why didn't you tell me his wife is Crystal Freaking Reynolds?" I asked him in a whisper while I stared at her slack jawed.
Cole chuckled next to me and squeezed my hand back. "Surprise."
It really was her. My favourite YA fantasy author although she had also written a romance novel and suspense thriller as well. I would know her anywhere since I followed her on all of her social media accounts and also went to one of her book signings in Milan the previous year. She was a huge deal in the book world.
Moreover, her exotic beauty and arresting, intelligent aura was unmistakable.
My literary idol smiled at Jasper and Cole when Armaan made the introductions while shaking their hands and then paused when she turned to me and caught the way I was staring at her.
"I'm sorry. I'm a huge fan," I blurted out. Wow, Skye. Way to go. Subtle. Smooth.
Crystal or Jas did not seem to mind my blunder. She extended a slim, manicured hand and shook mine while I stood there numbly.
"Hello, Skye. Always nice to meet a fan," she said smoothly, her dark eyes seeming to see into the depths of a person's soul.
I laughed nervously while she retreated to settle down by her husband's side. I already knew Crystal Reynolds was her pseudonym. She wanted to keep her private life and true identity out of the public eye. I had not even been aware that she was married or lived in Pavia. Her social media was purely about her work. It was amazing to see her at her home and learn how she truly lived and what she was like in person.
She was very quiet but her husband seemed to do her share of the talking, most of it regarding architecture and soccer games, occasionally about his desert home in Amira, a country in the Middle East. She also seemed to be absolutely enamoured with her husband and he with her because though he spoke to us attentively, his hand remained pressed to her thigh caressing it in intervals and his eyes glimmered with a mixture of lust and adoration whenever he glanced at her.
I honestly forgot all about escaping or reading until after dinner which I learned was prepared by Armaan himself because, of course, he was the perfect male specimen and, of course, he was a great cook. We had ravioli, lasagne, braised lamb shanks, treacle tarts and prawn cocktail.
Then Armaan loudly asked Jasmine if she wanted to go hide in her 'Batcave' now and I was reminded of Jasper and his darkroom whenever he disappeared into it for long periods of time.
Jasmine rolled her eyes at her husband but stood up anyway, aiming a look in my direction. "So you're a reader?"
I had not said more than two words all evening. That's how star struck I was. By both of them.
"Um...yeah...yes. I read." Wow. Eloquence.
She smiled kindly at me. "Come on. We'll leave these guys to their game talk. Let me show you something I think you might like."
Still sort of awed, I stood up, gave Cole a kiss and followed her along a corridor. She turned a corner, which wasn't actually a corner because the inner walls of this house somehow seemed circular and curved. It was beautiful. Then Jasmine opened a door and led me inside a large room full of hundreds, maybe even thousands of books.
Wow. Yeah. I did like this. It was like being cocooned in a totally different world. The world of books. Pages and pages of information and imagination. There were a couple of cosy armchairs and shaggy rugs and a large table in the corner littered with loose pages, journals, notebooks, sketch pads and pens along with a laptop. I could set up camp in here easily. All I would need was some paint supplies.
"Wow," I breathed out, clutching my purse to my chest.
Jasmine nodded at me proudly. "I know, right? I had a feeling you would like it. When my husband isn't in here working or insisting I clean up my half of the table, it's a pretty great place to hang out."
I laughed and relaxed a little.
"I'm really sorry if I came off as rude or something. I'm usually not this quiet but...you're one of my favourite writers and I honestly had no idea you were Armaan's wife," I explained.
She shrugged. "No big deal, Skye. You can have a look around if you want."
Oh, I want, I thought and put my purse down to move to the bookshelves. Man. These guys had everything. Cole's collection at home was nothing compared to this.
"My boyfriend reads too," I told her as I fingered the spines of certain famous books and smiled. "He's mostly into adult fantasy but he did read your latest YA series when I kept gushing about it."
"Your boyfriend. Which one is that again?" she asked from behind me and I paused before turning to look at her in surprise.
"Um...Cole. The one with the glasses," I said slowly.
Jasmine regarded me thoughtfully. "Right." She opened her mouth to say something else, then closed it and walked over to her table and tapped a few keys on her laptop. I watched in mild fascination as she typed something and then looked up and apologized.
"I just had this thought," she explained and shrugged. "I forget if I don't make a note."
I glanced at her laptop. "Are you working on something new? Blade of O'Hara released just yesterday. Oh." With a jolt, I walked back to the sofa and grabbed my purse. "Would you mind signing it for me? I would love that so much. Cole would too. Please."
She laughed at my pleading tone and extended a hand. "Of course. Do you like it?"
"I love it," I whispered with wide eyes as I watched her place the book on the table and write on the cover page. "I mean, the twist with Jamie and her identity was...mind-blowing. I seriously never saw that coming. And I was supposed to work today but I kept reading because I just couldn't help-" I stopped suddenly when I realised I was babbling.
But imagine meeting a world-famous author completely by accident (albeit planned as a surprise by your boyfriend) on a one-on-one basis and then being able to have an actual, uninterrupted conversation with her about one of her books. Jeez. I was flying.
"There you go, Skye," she said, oblivious to my nervous chatter. Maybe she was lost in her own thoughts, already thinking of her next story. Or maybe she was used to so much talking after being married to Armaan.
I glanced at the page she had written on.
To Skye, it said in curly, rounded letters. You know you've hit the jackpot when you find a boy who reads.
I laughed at her words and found it so touching and funny at the same time. And so perceptive. She understood.
"Oh my God, thanks so much, Crystal, I mean, Jasmine. That's the first thing that made me start to fall for him, honestly."
"Jasmine is fine," she said, leaning against the desk. "Armaan reads too. This is actually his library and it was definitely not what made me fall for him because I thought it was a joke when I first discovered that he likes to read."
I smiled and looked at her quizzically. "Why is that?"
She scoffed a little. "Have you heard him talk? I mean, can you imagine him sitting still and being quiet for more than five minutes and reading even one chapter of a book?"
I thought about it and realised I could not imagine it at all and then we both laughed at our shared joke.
"Honestly, I wouldn't have believed Cole was a reader, either, but he actually did read in front of me so many times during breaks at work so I was pretty convinced. And then there was the whole mini library thing Jasper prepared for him so I knew it wasn't an act."
"Jasper," she said and it wasn't a question. We remained silent for a moment and then she said, "Armaan explained about your relationship. I mean, Cole told him a few days ago. I never met any of you before but...I honestly thought Cole is the blond one, you know, because of the way he kept looking at you all evening. There was so much love and longing in his gaze, he made me want to write a book about it."
I must have paled a little at her words because I felt a little faint and bit my lip, putting my book away with trembling hands.
"Sorry. I...I thin
k I said something wrong," Jasmine mumbled from behind me.
"No," I said softly and straightened, keeping my back to her. "You didn't. It's just...complicated."
"Oh. Okay." She shuffled some papers while I collected my wits.
I turned to her, inhaling deeply and ran my fingers through my ponytail. I couldn't talk to anybody about my feelings for Jasper Wells. I had no close friends. Olivia did not understand my dilemma. And sometimes, sharing with a stranger was better than anything.
"So...mind if I ask you a question?" I asked and mentally cringed because that in itself was a question.
She looked at me and nodded. "Sure. Go ahead."
I looked towards the bookcases. "What do you do when you find yourself torn between two guys? I mean, not exactly torn as in you don't know whom to choose but...you already love them both but you don't know whom to hurt." Jesus. Was I even making any sense? "Whose pain is greater or should be given more importance? How do you decide that?"
Jasmine smiled at me, again with that kindness and folded her arms. "Skye. I'm no expert when it comes to relationships," she said. "I've screwed up more times than I can count. It's never easy being torn between two men. The heart just doesn't want to let go." She studied my expression and for a brief second, her face clouded with pain as if she was remembering something particularly difficult. "I just know that someone who truly loves you will always work towards taking your pain away, not adding to it. That's how love works. It isn't always about getting what you want. The right thing to do is to let go of someone whose pain you feel you are adding to."
I swallowed hard and a tear rolled down my cheek because I kind of understood what she said. It wasn't about how much you loved someone and wanted them. It's what you were willing to do to take their pain away for good. Even if it meant removing yourself from the equation. Jasmine sort of stared at me like she was frozen and then the door to the library opened and Armaan stood there.
"Hey, you two done talking? Cole wants to head back-"
He paused as he took in my expression and then glanced between me and his wife before shaking his head at Jasmine in frustration.
"Baby, seriously, the poor thing is crying her eyes out and you can't even pat her back or something, come here." Before I could understand what was happening, Armaan pulled me into a hug and I found myself enveloped in his arms, my face brushing the silky fabric of his jersey which also absorbed my tears. A strong scent of some expensive cologne filled my nostrils. I was too shocked to move.
"You okay, sweetheart?" His voice rumbled in his chest and I squeaked a reply, realising he meant me.
Then he drew me back by the arms and gave me a sympathetic look. Like he felt what I was feeling. It was so strange and so....well, strange. Just strange all around.
"You want me to buy you some time with the guys until you're ready to leave?" he asked again in a low voice.
I shook my head and chewed on my lip, feeling a little overwhelmed by his familiar attitude.
He smiled at me. "Okay. I'll just let them know you're coming." His gaze went to Jasmine who was watching us stiffly and I thought maybe she was jealous but Armaan leaned forward and murmured in my ear. "She's not a hugger. I'm the only one who can get her to use the language of touch." Then he winked at me and strode out of the library, whistling something.
I turned to Jasmine who looked embarrassed. "Sorry," she said. "I really didn't mean to upset you."
I shrugged it off. "It's okay. I'm just more emotional than usual lately." I started to walk out of the library and she followed me silently. I glanced at her surreptitiously. "So...um...you don't mind about...er...well, when he hugged me and-"
Jasmine frowned at me in confusion, then seemed to understand what I was babbling about again. "Oh. Trust me, I have no problem regarding his familiarity with the opposite sex. Once, he propositioned a woman right in front of me in a restaurant and then when she wrote him her number and agreed to meet him later, he laughed before throwing away the napkin because he said he just wanted to see how that would go...and to make sure he had not lost his playboy touch after being married."
I opened my mouth in shock but it was also kind of funny. I was in awe of how their relationship seemed to be a jealousy-free zone.
"But don't worry, he wasn't trying anything like that with you," she went on hurriedly. "He just gets really emotional at times and can't stand to see people crying." She lowered her voice. "Plus, he's definitely a hugger."
I laughed then, feeling light-hearted once more and thanked them both so many times before I left. It felt like I had met the most wonderful pair of people when all the time, I had been dreading this dinner. Life can surprise you like that.
Cole opted to drive back this time and I sat shotgun because Jasper said he had a headache and needed to sleep it off.
"I'm so glad you decided to bring me out here," I told Cole. "And I can't believe you knew who his wife was all this time. They're both so amazing. And oh my God, I met Crystal Reynolds!" I finally let go in the car and squealed and Jasper groaned in protest at the back.
I shut up immediately.
"Sorry," I said softly. Yeah. I was definitely adding to his pain.
"I found out about her a couple of days ago," Cole said as he left the driveway and pulled onto the main road smoothly, driving carefully so as not to jostle the car too much. "Armaan sort of let slip his wife was in London promoting her new book and I just had to ask." He smiled and placed his hand on my thigh. "I forgot to tell you to get one of her books for an autograph. But I can get it signed through Armaan. Because I'm not sure when we'll visit them again."
"Oh she did sign my copy of 'O'Hara. It's sort of like dedicated to you as well. She was so sweet about it. Here let me read it out."
I dug for the book in my purse without switching on the light.
"Where did you buy that?" Cole asked me in surprise. "I was planning to give that to you for your birthday but the one I pre-ordered still hasn't arrived. And all the copies were sold out yesterday at the local bookstores by the time I swung by after work. Did she give it to you?"
My hands stilled inside the purse and I stared out the window without replying. There was silence from the backseat too but I sensed Jasper was wide awake, listening.
"Skye?" Cole's hand pressed on my thigh again.
I took a short breath then let it out. "No."
"Oh, so you got to the stores before me? Couldn't wait, huh?"
Again, I didn't reply. Why couldn't I just tell him the truth? Why did I feel the need to hide this? Jasper and I cared about each other. Why did my boyfriend always make that seem so wrong when it was the purest emotion in the world?
"Yeah," I said quietly and closed my eyes.
I sensed his gaze on me. Both their gazes, actually. And I just wanted to disappear. Did either of them hurt this much before I entered their lives and created a storm?
Tonight, I had told my first lie. Was this what I was going to do to Cole? Lie to cover up my feelings for Jasper when my boyfriend had done nothing but be honest with me before he made me a part of their life? And then hurt Jasper over and over by never fighting for him when it was all I wanted to do. To claim him as my own too instead of pushing him to the backseat. This was what my love life had turned into?
I blew out a breath and swallowed the lump in my throat. It's true what they say.
Three's a crowd.
I should have known this would never work out.
~~~
Chapter 33
Jasper
I felt the beginnings of a frown on my forehead as I made my way over to the kitchen. I did not relish what I was about to do but it was necessary. Skye was wiping down a counter several times, working quietly with a serene expression on her face. Ever since that dinner outing to Cole's partner's place four nights ago, she seemed to have retreated into herself.
She hardly showed her enjoyment for anything, I noticed more morose-themed paintings in her room, sometimes
we would bump into each other while walking around the apartment and I could swear I saw bloodshot eyes. Either she was on her period or pregnant. Or heartbroken.
I never asked her. What could I do? Getting close only meant more suffering. It only served to remind us that we could never be together no matter how badly we wanted to. Did Cole even notice? Did he ever try to talk to her? I knew he took extra care of her when she seemed down but when he was with me, he never mentioned anything about how Skye felt or what she thought.
I reached the counter and cleared my throat to get her attention.
She kept wiping but a corner of her mouth twitched in what could have been a smile as she said, "What's up, Jasper?"
I waited for her to meet my eyes, knowing it was dangerous. Any sort of intimacy or contact was dangerous between us. She finally put away the sponge and looked up at me. Her face was pale and her eyes looked tired, even her body appeared so fragile in an oversized sweater and leggings. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask her what was wrong and how I could fix it but I reminded myself that she had Cole. That was his job.
Putting my hands in the pocket of my trousers, I regarded her uncertainly. "Skye, I have a gallery opening next month at Roskos."
Immediately, I watched her expression change dramatically before my very eyes. From sad and lifeless it went to ecstatic and proud.
"Oh my God, Jasper. That's wonderful news. I'm super happy for you."
As if to back up her claim, she beamed at me. I looked unseeingly towards the kitchen sink, the cabinets, the counter, anything but directly at her.
"I was wondering if I could use a couple of your photos," I said slowly.
She stared at me and licked her lips. "Oh...er...you mean the ones you took...when I was…"
"Sleeping. Yes. They're not nude. And they're faceless," I informed her tonelessly.
I never apologised for my art. She was an artist too so I knew she understood. The muse does not care about asking for permission. When inspiration strikes, you have to answer...
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