by J. L. Wilder
We have to go back. We have to find a way to reestablish ourselves in the city.
But how could they? Tina was frightening. Violent. She had already set fire to Wes’s trailer. The moment she found out they were in the city, Lauren was sure she would act against them.
The thought of Emmett came to her. Emmett was somewhere in these woods, too, planning to act against Cody. Lauren was sure that hadn’t happened already because if it had, Jessica would have told them.
But what if it did? Would that make the den a safe place to live? Would they be able to go home? Or would they simply be trading one dangerous leader for another?
I haven’t seen or spoken to Emmett in over twenty years. I have no idea what he’s like now. For all she knew, he was just as bad as Cody. For all she knew, he was worse. He was planning an attack on the city, after all. That was dangerous. Could she really trust him?
Yes. I do trust him.
She didn’t know what that little voice deep inside was, but it felt like instinct. And if there was one thing the past two months had taught Lauren, it was that her instincts were good and worth trusting.
She added another stick to the fire, even though it didn’t really need replenishing. She enjoyed watching the way the flames seemed to take the wood from her hands, consuming it, as if they were a hungry animal and she was their keeper.
Somehow, she told herself firmly, we are going to find a way back into the den. I like living wild. I’m good at it, and that’s gratifying. But it’s not the life I want for my family. We’re going to figure out a way to go back, and we’re going to raise our children in a community, the way I imagined.
That was easier promised to herself than done, though, and sitting here under the light of the moon, it was hard to imagine how she would ever be able to safely bring her family back into the city.
Chapter Forty-Four
LAUREN
A twig snapped behind Lauren.
She spun around, her heart in her throat.
Wes held up his hands. “Just me,” he said. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Did I wake you up?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “I mean, not directly. I think I sensed in my sleep that you weren’t there, and that woke me up.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. Are you okay?”
“Just thinking,” she said.
He sat down beside her. “You were really great on the hunt today,” he said. “You impressed the hell out of me. I hope you know that.”
She cracked a smile, but it felt forced. “Thanks.”
“What are you thinking about?”
She hesitated. They hadn’t spoken much about this in all their time out here together, and she was hesitant to cause an argument. “Do you think we’ll ever be able to go back to the city? Be part of the den again?”
“You want to, huh?” he said.
“It’s how I want to raise my kids,” she said. “Do you remember what it was like, growing up as part of the den?”
“Sure I do,” he said. “But I always had the feeling you didn’t like it very much.”
“What makes you say that?”
“You left.”
“So did you.”
“True enough.” He sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her, and she leaned in to rest her head on his shoulders. “I have good memories from when we were growing up. You’re right.”
“I wanted to get away from the shifter life,” she said. “I always felt more comfortable being human. But it wasn’t because I didn’t like the den. It was about me, not the community.”
“Do you still feel like that? Like you’d rather be human?”
“No,” she said. “I feel like I wasted twenty good years thinking that way, actually. I’m glad I came back when I did. I just wish we could go home. I wish we could be a part of the den.”
“Raising our kids out here wouldn’t be the end of the world, would it?” Wes asked.
“No,” she said. “But think about what they’d miss out on. Knowing other shifters. Going on runs with groups of kids their own age. The way the den feels like one big family. I want that for them.”
“Doesn’t really feel like one big family lately,” Wes murmured, stroking her hair.
Lauren nodded. “I don’t know how Cody and Tina can care so little about the welfare of their own denmates.”
“Tina’s always only cared about herself,” Wes pointed out. “She was like that when we were young, too.”
“That’s true,” Lauren said. Tina’s meanness had been a cornerstone of her childhood. It wasn’t surprising that she would be so hateful now that Lauren had returned. “How did she end up mated to Cody? Do you know?”
“I don’t,” Wes said. “But I bet there’s a lot of truth to what you said about her feeling insecure that she can’t have children. She’s past childbearing age, probably.”
“We thought that too,” Lauren reminded him with a small smile.
“Yeah,” Wes agreed. “But I bet in her case it’s actually true. That’s probably why she hates you so much right now. You got the miracle and she didn’t.”
“In a way, I can relate,” Lauren admitted.
“How so?”
“I spent years thinking I’d missed my chance to have a family,” Lauren said. “I threw myself into my work in the suburbs because that meant I wouldn’t have to think about it. And I think there was a part of me that clung to the idea of being human because I wouldn’t have to miss the big shifter family I was never going to have. That was too difficult to let myself think about.”
“Maybe that’s why I was so sure I didn’t want kids for so long,” Wes said. “I can’t imagine not wanting our babies now. I guess I wouldn’t let myself consider the option because if I did, I would have to admit that I was making all the wrong choices.”
“If Tina had gotten the miracle we did,” Lauren mused, “she would be able to watch her own son become the new alpha of the den. As Cody’s child, he’d have the best claim.”
Wes nodded. “I bet it kills her that their line is going to end with Cody. In the den history, he’s going to be written off as a footnote.”
“Of course, if they run the den into the ground with all their partying and carrying on, there won’t be a den history to speak of,” Lauren said.
“You know what I wish?” Wes asked.
“What’s that?”
“I wish our kids could grow up in the den we grew up in,” Wes said. “Not under Cody’s leadership, but under Arthur’s.”
“If only,” Lauren said.
But for the second time that night, Emmett’s face sprang to mind.
Would he be more like Arthur?
He had left the den after challenging Cody’s authority. Matt had told her that. If Cody were to be removed from power, Emmett would be the oldest male descendant. He would be the next choice for the role of alpha.
Maybe that would be better.
She had dreaded the idea of den violence. It had terrified her. But now, for the first time since she had come across Emmett and his friends in the woods, she felt hopeful that they would act on their words. She wanted them to do what they had said they would.
They could remove Cody and Tina from power and turn the den into a good place.
She glanced at Wes. Would he agree with her if she told him what she was thinking?
When I told him Emmett was in the woods, his first response was to get me away from the city. He doesn’t trust Emmett’s plans.
For now, she decided, she wouldn’t tell Wes what she was thinking. Unless there was a change in leadership, they wouldn’t need to make a decision.
Chapter Forty-Five
LAUREN
“Come back to bed,” Wes said.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep,” Lauren said. Her thoughts were still racing.
“Well, I didn’t say sleep, did I?” Wes pointed out.
S
he looked up at him. He was staring at her in that way that made her feel as if her insides were melting.
“Okay,” she whispered, held completely captive by his eyes.
He helped her to her feet and led her over to the nest where they slept. He took her hands and braced them against the trunk of their tree. Then he eased her feet apart gently.
“When you’re worried about things, you can just wake me up,” he whispered, wrapping his body around hers, hitching his hips so that she could feel how hard he already was. “I can distract you from whatever’s on your mind.”
“Didn’t want to bother you.” It was more breath than actual words.
“You’re not bothering me,” he murmured. “You’re never bothering me. You want this?”
“You know I do. When do I not want it?”
He chuckled. “I’m just asking if you’re ready.”
“Wes, I am constantly ready. Any time, day or night, you could just grab me, and—ohhh,” she broke off with a moan as he slid into her. “Fuck. Yeah, there you go.”
“You weren’t kidding.” Wes kissed the back of her neck. “Didn’t take much to get your motor running.”
“I’m so wet all the time, Wes.”
“I know, babe.” He took her hands and moved them slightly lower on the tree trunk so that her hips were tilted backward at a better angle. Then he leaned over her, took her breasts in his hands, and kneaded gently as he fucked her.
Lauren closed her eyes. She loved losing herself in his touch. Nothing in the world felt as good as this.
“I want you to come first,” he said, slowing his rhythm, giving her deep, steady strokes. His thumbs circled her nipples. “This is how I want it. I want to do this, right here, until you come on me, and then I want to fuck you hard until I can’t stand up anymore.”
“Yeah,” she moaned.
“You want that?”
“You know I want that.”
He rolled her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. “I’m going to make you come,” he said. “Just like this. I know how fucking sensitive you are. This is going to be enough. I’m going to get you there, baby.”
“Mmm,” she said. “I know you will. You—” She gasped as he reversed directions. “You always do.”
Wes cupped his fingers loosely around her breasts and stroked up slowly, bringing them to meet at her nipples. She shuddered with pleasure.
He opened his hands and traced his fingers back down.
“You like that?” he asked.
“Don’t stop. Please.”
He pressed his forehead against her shoulder blade, and she felt the heavy heat of his breath. He was enjoying this every bit as much as she was.
Lauren knew how much Wes loved her body. He never left her in any doubt about it. He was worshipful of her, and she loved him in return. She loved his masterful, thick fingers that knew where to touch her as surely as if he’d had a map. She loved his thick cock and how entirely he filled her. She loved the roughness of his skin against hers, the wildness she could feel in him when he fucked her.
For as much as they loved one another emotionally, Lauren was deeply grateful that they needed each other physically just as much. She couldn’t imagine a life without Wes’s body.
Maybe it was his steady touches or the way he throbbed within her with each thrust, or maybe it was the fact that she had been thinking about him in such detail, but suddenly she felt her orgasm building.
There was no time to tell him. It was coming on too powerfully, too rapidly. She writhed in his arms, letting out a rapturous scream, her vision obscured by stars.
As the pleasure began to fade, she became aware of his arms around her, guiding her slowly down. “Hands and knees,” he murmured, still fucking into her.
She managed to get her knees beneath her. Hands were too much to ask for. She flattened her cheek against the ground, eyes closed, imagining that she could feel the earth trembling beneath them.
She reached her hands back for Wes’s, and he caught them, pulling against her arms so that he could fuck her harder.
She sobbed with pleasure. “That’s so deep. You’re so fucking deep. I can’t—”
Then she was coming again, all sense of what she might have been about to say lost in the waves of pleasure that crashed over her body. Dimly, she was aware of Wes gasping behind her, his hand letting go of hers to grip the globe of her ass so tightly that she was sure she would have bruises there later. She didn’t care. She wanted them. She wanted his marks all over her body.
He helped her ease herself down onto her side so that her belly wouldn’t be harmed. Then he lay down beside her.
For several long minutes, Lauren was aware only of the sounds of the two of them gasping for air, trying to recover from the exertion.
“You were right,” she murmured at last.
“Hmm?”
“That was better than sitting awake and worrying.”
He chuckled. “So you’ll wake me up next time?”
“Yeah.”
“Think you can sleep?”
“I do.”
He reached over and took her hand, and Lauren felt warm all over, even though the night air was a little bit chilly. “Sleep well,” he said, curling up behind her so that their bodies were pressed together.
Chapter Forty-Six
WES
Wes took Lauren hunting with him again the following day. She moved more easily when she was in bear form, and she was more comfortable that way. Besides, it made him feel more relaxed to have her by his side, not to have to worry that something had gone wrong back at the camp.
He let Lauren take the lead today. She was hunkered down, watching a squirrel, waiting for it to move closer so that she could attack. He was impressed anew that she was willing to go for squirrel. The meat wouldn’t be as tender as the rabbit had been, and she knew that—they’d eaten squirrel plenty of times over the past couple of months.
Lauren had never complained about it. Not once.
She really is getting good at living out in the wild like this.
Suddenly, without any warning sign that Wes could detect, Lauren darted out and caught the squirrel’s neck in her mouth. She gave it a quick shake, then brought it back to Wes.
He loved the way she laid her kills down at his feet. There was something insanely hot about that, as if she was paying him respect.
He was about to pick up the squirrel and turn for home when the sound of something much larger moving through the trees stopped him cold.
He glanced at Lauren. She was also frozen, listening.
Whatever it was, it was too heavy to be a deer. It was too heavy to be a human.
He wanted to tell Lauren to run back, that he would cover her retreat, but he didn’t dare shift back to human form so that he could speak. He might need to fight. When that thing emerged from the trees, he was going to have to be ready.
The leaves parted, and a large brown bear emerged.
Automatically, Wes fell backward several paces.
It had been trained into them from the moment they had been old enough to start controlling their shifting. Wild bears aren’t like us. You never approach a wild bear. They can’t be reasoned with. It was the very first lesson every shifter child learned.
The wild bear wasn’t approaching Wes either. It was standing still, sizing him up.
Wondering whether or not it should attack?
Wes couldn’t be sure. He couldn’t read the bear’s body language. It wasn’t showing its teeth, which would definitely have presaged an attack. But its shoulders were tense, and it was staring directly at Wes.
Go home! Wes thought desperately to Lauren, wishing she could pick up on his thoughts. Walk away! Surely, she would know enough to walk rather than run, wouldn’t she? She would know that running from a wild bear was too dangerous.
Right?
They had all been taught that as children. But she had been away for so long. Would she remember that lesson
?
He maneuvered himself slowly in between the wild bear and Lauren. He would have to keep his body between the two of them. If the bear decided to become violent, he would make sure the attack didn’t reach Lauren. He remembered what he had said the day Tina had burned down his trailer, the day Lauren had wanted so badly to fight. Even one bad hit from an enemy could seriously harm their babies.
God, Lauren likes to fight. She’ll try to get involved if it comes to that.
He ached to shift. He would have given anything in the world to be able to talk to her, to tell her that she needed to get away from here and leave this to him.
In his peripheral vision, he saw Lauren take a step forward.
No!
He moved to block her, growling a little. It was against his nature to growl at Lauren, but it was the only way he could think of to communicate to her just how serious this situation was. She couldn’t approach a wild bear!
Now the wild bear growled, its eyes still fixed on Wes. Rather than being put off by Lauren’s movement, it seemed to be angry at something Wes had done.
What the hell is going on here?
To Wes’s horror, Lauren shifted.
He felt as if he had fallen into a nightmare. There she was, purely human, completely defenseless, one hand cradling her swollen belly, the other hand held out defensively.
Not held out to the wild bear.
Held out to him. As if he were the threat here.
“Wes,” she said. “Stop. Stop.”
He felt as if he was about to have a panic attack. He stepped forward, intending to put himself between her and the wild bear once again.
A snarl ripped through the wild bear’s teeth.
Wes felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up in agitation.
“Both of you, stop it!” Lauren said.
Both of you?
She was talking to the wild bear as if it could understand her. As if...
Wes looked into the bear’s eyes.
Oh.
There was reason there. Thought. Understanding. A human mind behind those teeth.
This wasn’t a wild bear at all. It was a shifter.