Koibumi

by Hildred Billings

  The scent of Aiko’s sex was always invigorating.

  So was the way she moaned and arched her back whenever Reina first stroked her with a skillful tongue. That fragrance invaded Reina’s mouth and settled in her throat like perfume. It’s all Aiko. The same scent she had inhaled since their first time together on Christmas day twenty years ago. It had been Aiko’s first time to have her omanko stimulated by another person, and Reina had the full honors ever since. No one else has been down here longer than me.

  An image of a baby crowning through Aiko’s hole made her choke on her wife’s aieki.

  “Itai!” Aiko clamped her thighs around Reina’s head. “That hurt!”

  “Sorry!”

  “Mou, what happened?”

  Babies. Everywhere, babies. Reina flung back the covers. “My teeth got caught in your pubic hair. Happens.”

  Aiko furrowed her brows and shoved Reina’s head back down.

  No longer plagued by images of childbirth, she was able to perform a round of oral lovemaking upon her favorite omanko. Reina plied her tongue along the spread, open slit beneath her and pursed her lips around the swelling clitoris. Every second passing was another tremble in Aiko’s body as she continued to groan above the covers.

  “Iku!”

  As her orgasm began, Reina shoved her tongue inside her wife and welcomed the oncoming aieki.

  Aiko eased into a half-sleep immediately after her orgasm. Reina resurfaced, staring into her wife’s warm demeanor. A hand smoothed down her hair, and a thumb poked her nose.

  “I love you,” Reina said again.

  Aiko’s eyes opened. “I love you too.”

  Reina bumped their foreheads together and kissed her wife on the lips. “Do me now.”

  “You really want that?”

  Nodding, Reina rolled off her wife and reclaimed her side of the bed.

  Aiko slowly roamed her hand down Reina’s chest and stopped at the top of her shorts. “Do you want my fingers, too?”

  “I want all of you.” It was true. And Reina had most of Aiko throughout the year. All of her. Even the parts they rarely indulged in.

  Half of Aiko’s hands disappeared down her spouse’s shorts. “You’re so naughty.”

  Reina said nothing as Aiko’s middle finger found her slit and dove.

  For the past three months Reina had learned to love careful attention to her sex. Before, for many years, she had spurned such acts because they made her feel insecure. But now that her dysphoria was in remission, she could enjoy feeling her omanko manually stimulated when it was her wife who did it. Aiko. The one woman who never mocked her or her disorder.

  God, she loved her.

  She made sure to tell her as Aiko disappeared beneath the covers and disrobed Reina from the waist down. Yes. She didn’t fight her spreading legs or her spreading omanko. Fuck, yes. A careful tongue flicked her clitoris before fingers wandered into her hole. Fuck! From gentle to piston, Aiko fucked her spouse with the dedication of a woman in love for twenty years. No babies ever coming out of there. All the easier for her wife to go in.

  It wasn’t sex without Reina’s usual finale: as she earlier promised, a gush of aieki squirted out and coated Aiko’s face, fingers, and hair. I can ejaculate, but I can’t get you pregnant. The relief her expulsing glands brought helped her forget her shortcomings. She did it once more for good measure.

  “Oh, that’s my favorite part,” she admitted, as Aiko sat up and revealed her glistening skin and hair. “Me, all over you.” Breaths strangled Reina’s chest as she relaxed into the bed.

  Aiko crawled over her and searched for a tissue. “You’re consistent, that’s for sure.”

  Before she could wipe off her spouse’s aieki from her face, Reina pulled her down and offered to do it for her, with her tongue.

  Aiko relinquished her tissue and fell limp beneath Reina’s attention. Her own bitterness mixed with the saltiness of Aiko’s skin made her lips pucker.

  “Sometimes,” Aiko began, eyes closed as Reina’s tongue passed over her eyelids, “I wonder what it would be like if you really could impregnate me.” She clutched Reina’s shoulder. “I mean, what would a child of ours look like?”

  Reina kissed her wife’s forehead after she finished her cleanup. Between her legs leftover aieki slid her skin together. “That’s impossible.” She noticed one last clump of white on Aiko’s cheek and decided to leave it there.

  “I know it’s impossible. But that doesn’t mean I can’t wonder.”

  Reina silenced her with one last kiss. No, don’t wonder. Wondering meant Aiko was considering the baby thing again. Reina had heard the horror stories. Over the years more than one friend of hers broke up with her girlfriend over children. Don’t wonder. Reina didn’t want to lose her wife to the impossible.

  “I think my husband has a girlfriend.”

  Aiko snorted lettuce through her nose at her friend’s unsolicited confession. Yuri remained on the other side of the café table, salad fork in hand and expression falling from her heart-shaped face. I’ve never seen her this sad. Usually Yuri was an example of positivity and friendliness – usually Aiko was the one sitting forlorn at their local café and mumbling about relationship woes.

  “What makes you think that?” She covered her face with her hand, lest more lettuce come shooting out of her orifices.

  Yuri put her fork down and bit the inside of her cheek. “I have a feeling. He’s been spending more of his free time away from home, and when he is home he texts on his phone more than our daughter. And…” she lowered her voice, although nobody else could hear her over the café rabble, “we rarely do it anymore.”

  Tomatoes and cabbage rolled together as Aiko pushed her plate away. “That doesn’t mean he has a girlfriend, though.”

  “I know he goes to hostess bars with his coworkers. He told me, to make sure I knew about it before somebody else told me. I told him it was fine. But I…” Yuri hiccupped. “What if he’s dating a hostess? I can’t compete with that!”

  Aiko held back the urge to laugh at her friend’s predicament. “I can’t compete with that!” was something she often thought in regards to Reina’s wanderings. In the beginning, her affections for her best friend and attractions to half the women in Ni-chome made Aiko more insecure than a new kid at school. But once she got to know Reina better, she discovered that her spouse would always come home either to her or with her. “Well, it’s not like you’ve been pure yourself these past few years.” Aiko could still remember the first day Yuri came by and attempted to seduce her: shaking, close-mouthed, and full of timidity, it had taken more than an hour for Aiko to discover what her neighbor wanted. “He still doesn’t know about us, right?”

  Yuri shook her head, more crestfallen than before. “I can’t tell my husband I’m…you know…I don’t know how he would take it. Plus there’s my daughter. But that doesn’t mean I can’t get…”

  “Jealous?”

  “I know it would be hypocritical of me to feel that way. And I know that if he falls in love with another woman, he still probably won’t ask for a divorce for the sake of our daughter. Oh, God, what if she ever found out about me? She’s at that age now where she starts questioning things.”

  Aiko picked up her teacup. If she remembered correctly, Yuri’s only child, Hana, was in her final year of elementary school. Kids those days knew more about sex and relationships than Aiko’s generation did at that age. But do they think of homosexuality? Society was slowly changing, but most people were still in the dark about sword fighting and cat fishing. Aiko polished off her tea and put the cup down. “Do you think she will ever question herself?”

  Aside from the conversations and clinking dishware around them, a perturbed silence fell between them. Yuri considered her plate with furrowed brows before responding. “I don’t know. And I probably never will know.”

  Sensing a need for a subject change, Aiko wracked her brain for anything and came up with shit. Until she remembered the
lead up to the lovemaking a few days before in bed with Reina. “Speaking of children, I’ve been thinking about having a baby recently.”

  Yuri’s eyes lit up in their usual shock and awe. The twinkle spreading to her cheeks relieved Aiko. “Hontou ni?” Her mouth faltered as she fought for more words. “That’s great! But, oh…what does Reina-san think? She doesn’t strike me as the parenting type…”

  Aiko scrunched her nose. “My spouse is the biggest obstacle. She staunchly does not want a child.” She supposed that was no surprise. “But we’ve been talking about it. It’s an idea she would have to get used to first.” Just like living together. Just like getting married.

  “By the time she decides she might be okay with the idea, you’ll both be in your forties and it’ll be really difficult.”

  A server stopped by their table to clean away their empty dishes. Aiko waited until she was gone before continuing. “I don’t want to think about that right now. There’s just so much to it. We can’t cut off birth control and play fertility roulette. We’re both women. I’d have to find a donor and then hope I still get pregnant.” She placed her elbows on the table and slammed her forehead into her hands.

  “Kawai sou, Aiko-san…” Yuri folded her hands in her lap. “I was on birth control when I got pregnant with my daughter. I guess that’s something I took for granted.”

  “No matter. In the end we have little money and energy anyway. And it would…impede our lifestyle.” No more orgies for them. Who knew how having a child would affect the tenuous relationship between Aiko and Reina. All those small steps they had taken toward “forever” would come undone the moment an infant started crying in their house.

  “Maybe you could adopt a child.”

  Aiko snorted. “Yeah, right. In what world would an organization give a ‘single’ woman a baby to adopt? And oh, she has no job and happens to live with a dyke who does.” She almost laughed. “Besides, a part of this comes from me wanting to…you know…”

  Yuri said nothing.

  “Have a baby myself.”

  “It’s unlike anything else in the world.” Yuri folded up her handkerchief and placed it in her purse. “That’s all I can say about it.”

  Aiko scooted her chair back. “I’m going to use the toilet.”

  She had to avoid a plethora of servers and the Thursday afternoon crowd to make it to the women’s restroom in one piece. However, she had no interest in the facilities. Instead she stood in front of a mirror and splashed some water on her face. I need to get these stupid baby thoughts out of my head. Over. Finished. Bridge burned and pissed on. That clock ticking in the back of her mind only signaled when her next old lady nap was supposed to be. Soon she’d be counting down to when she’d no longer have the energy to fuck. God, I’m starting to think like Reina.

  After having her pity party in the restroom, Aiko inhaled and returned to the café.

  She swore more people were in the dining area now, filling the walkways with purses, canes, and heeled feet. Aiko had to keep to the wall to prevent knocking over every person she passed. Yet it could not save her from smacking into somebody the moment she was distracted by a platter of shrimp.

  “Sumimasen!” She bowed before she looked the man in the face. “Excuse me!”

  “It’s no pro…” The man stopped and stared at the top of Aiko’s head.

  When Aiko glanced up, she could not help but gawk as well: Takeshi, the English professor on a rampaging bicycle.

  First in Ni-chome, and now in her neighborhood? What were the odds?

  “Takeuchi-san!” Takeshi bowed in her direction. “It seems we have switched places!”

  She blinked at him incredulously. “What…I…how?”

  “Do you live in this neighborhood? I live nearby.” He laughed, one hand scratching his scalp. “A Hasegawa English graduate and a neighbor! Apparently we were meant to meet!”

  Really? Wasn’t “coincidence” a better term as opposed to breaking out the fate and destiny spiel? Aiko laughed and stepped out of the way of a server. “It’s quite bizarre that we should meet like this again.”

  “Indeed.” Aiko wondered if Yuri was growing impatient. Her daughter was probably due home from school any minute. Or at least that seemed to be the usual story. “How are you doing? Are you sure I did not injure you in any way?”

  Aiko froze. “I’m fine. You didn’t hit me.”

  A curious sparkle glinted from Takeshi’s round eyes. He does look young. How was such a young looking man a college professor already? “Still, I would feel much better if I could pay respect to you. May I call you sometime this next week? I still have your calling card.”

  Jaw dropped, Aiko didn’t know how she was supposed to respond. “I suppose?” What could she say? No? “I mean, I don’t mind…”

  “Great! Please excuse me, there’s somebody waiting for me. Have a good day, Takeuchi-san.” Takeshi disappeared behind a server as if he were Houdini.

  By the time Aiko returned to her table, Yuri had half her items packed into her purse. “What took you so long? Are you sick?”

  Aiko glanced at their check. “I have no idea what’s going on anymore.”

  “You already sound like a mother.”

  That did not make Aiko feel any better. Nor did Yuri’s insisting that she had to go straight home. The last thing Aiko thought of as she walked down her street, alone, was that she had an empty house to return to. Reina would be back from work in a few hours, but otherwise Aiko had nothing to look forward to besides making dinner and watching TV. The thought made her want to slam her head against the front door.

  Reina was starting to feel like a betta in a fishbowl.

  Chloe asked her such personal questions that she couldn’t help but feel like an animal on display. Maybe it was a foreigner thing. If Reina’s best friend Michiko were anyone to gauge by, then Americans loved asking embarrassing things of one another. Although Reina liked to overshare her exploits, there was something off-putting about the way Chloe asked, “Did you want to sleep with your wife from the moment you met her?”

  Oh, it was probably the way Aiko stuttered when she relayed that question. Her cheeks flushed red and her eyes avoided everyone else’s at the table. How do I answer that without embarrassing her further? Tread lightly. If she knew how.

  “I’m open to sleeping with any woman from the moment I meet her.” Reina scratched her chest and rubbed her cigarettes in her pocket. What I would give for one! But Aiko had a strict rule about smoking in the house. If Reina wanted to satiate her tobacco addiction she would have to step outside into the sauna and leave everyone else behind to indulge in awkwardness. They would never forgive me. Some things weren’t worth the cigarette. “So I guess you could say that yes, I wanted to sleep with my wife when we first met. But I didn’t think I would.”

  “Why not?” Chloe stopped writing notes.

  “Because I thought she was a moral straight girl.”

  Aiko pinched her spouse’s arm. “Tell her what you told me that first time we met.”

  Delicious memories festered in Reina’s stomach. “How’d you like it if I fucked your pussy real good?” It made her smile. She didn’t remember a lot of details like that, but yes, she remembered that one. Especially the way young Aiko nearly fainted at the proposition. When I finally did fuck her, she almost fainted again. Reina decided to forego mentioning that. Aiko could share if she wanted, but Reina didn’t want to let it go yet.

  Chloe saved her from having to think up something else. “Tell me about the early days of your relationship, if you don’t mind.”

  Reina didn’t mind. Chloe could ask her to describe her favorite sex position – which was completely determined by her mood, the weather, and the partner she was with – and she wouldn’t mind. “I admit, I treated it as a sort of game.” Reina glimpsed at Aiko’s non-reactions as she translated. “I didn’t think she would go through with a lesbian relationship at all, let alone sex. So I was pleasantly surprise
d when she began opening up sexually. Our first time together went a lot better than I thought it would.” That received a questionable glare from her wife. “Then I thought she would be fun to be with for a little while, or at least until I finally grew tired of her, or she realized she was dating another woman and dumped me instead.” Thank goodness she hadn’t. “But I didn’t grow tired of her, and she never dumped me. That’s how I ended up in my longest relationship ever.” Shit, it had been her longest relationship after six months. She didn’t count Michiko who had always been a friend first, lover second.

  The pen in Chloe’s hand came to a gradual stop. She rubbed her lips and furrowed her brows at her own scribbly handwriting. “That’s a big jump between your late teens and now…”

  Reina sighed. This would be a long afternoon.

  She told Chloe as many details as she could from the time she and Aiko started dating until they moved in together five years later. She went over chopping off her hair and deciding to go to junior college – and the big mistake she made assuming studying Japanese would be easy. Anecdotes about her morally upright classmates emerged, including the time a young woman “seduced” her only to make fun of her and call her hateful things for the thrill of it. But her favorite story was how Aiko used to help her study kanji by stripping for every definition Reina got right. If I got them all right I got to fuck her. Oh, college.

  By the time Reina got to talking about her job search and subsequent hiring at her company, the hour was getting late. Aiko became restless to start dinner. Reina pried herself away from a story about one of her coworkers falling in love with her to answer one of Chloe’s questions directly.

  “Where do you meet so many women?” Her Japanese sounded like somebody talking into a fan.

  Reina scratched her head. “I guess I meet most of them in Ni-chome.”

  “Really? There are that many women there?”

  Even Aiko laughed at that as she got up to go into the kitchen. “Of course there are! Haven’t you been there?”

  “Sure, but not often. Mayumi led me to believe that…”