Pitch Black (Until Dawn, Book 4)

by J. N. Baker

  We walked through the darkness until we were sure Baldric’s kingdom was far behind us, and then we went even farther.

  After walking for an hour straight at a Chosen pace, we stopped in front of a fair-sized patch of trees.

  “Does Baldric have forest nymphs working for him?” I asked absently, eyes trained on the tall, dark trees looming in front of me. Forests held an extra ominous presence when they were constantly shrouded in darkness.

  “No,” Josh replied, coming to stand beside me.

  “Good.” I stepped into the protection of the trees, not stopping until I found myself a good fifty feet in.

  The bow slipped from my hand as I turned to face Josh, his eyes glowing in the blackness like two beautiful blue beacons of light. We were alone—truly alone—for the first time since I’d come to stay with Baldric. Hell, for the first time since Stonehenge. That realization weighed heavily on me.

  Despite the unearthly pull I felt drawing me to the man standing in front of me, a man I’d known nearly my entire life, my feet were glued to the soil beneath them. Josh took the first step and I forgot how to breathe. He continued to close the distance between us until he was standing within inches of me.

  “Josh—”

  He enveloped me in his arms, holding me tightly to him as he pressed his lips to my forehead. I molded myself to his chest, my arms snaking around him, fisting his shirt in my hands as I breathed him in. He smelled like home. He was home. He was my sanctuary. My redemption. My very soul. I could spend the rest of eternity just like this: here in his arms.

  “God, I missed you,” he breathed into my hair, his grip on me tightening. He pulled away just enough to meet my gaze, both of his hands coming up to cup my face. “Tell me again.”

  Tears built behind my eyes, pooling at the corners but never spilling over. I knew exactly what he wanted to hear. The one time I’d told him, he wasn’t entirely himself. In fact, it was the very thing that had brought him back to me.

  “I love you,” I told him, one tear slipping past my Chosen defenses and racing down my cheek. “I love you so damn much. I think I always have.”

  His lips slammed into mine, stealing whatever breath I had and setting my body aflame. His thumb tenderly stroked my cheek as he backed me up until I bumped into a tree.

  My fingers went from his shirt to his hair, tugging on it not-so-gently and relishing at the groan that slipped past his lips. “To think I could have lost you forever,” I whispered against his mouth.

  He ran a hand over my hair before pressing his forehead to mine, exhaling. “I know. But thanks to Baldric, I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere anymore. I’m yours. Forever.”

  A chill slid down my spine that dampened the flames his touch had been igniting. “Baldric?” I said, unable to keep the disgust from my voice. I slipped out of his arms. “Thanks to Baldric, we can’t fucking be together, Josh.”

  He sighed, following after me. “We’ll figure it out. We’ll find a way.”

  “We have to kill him. It’s the only way.”

  Josh’s feet faltered. “What?”

  I hadn’t expected the genuine shock in his voice, like he’d never thought I’d suggest killing the tyrannical warlord who wanted me as his bride so that we could be together. Not to mention so the world could have some chance at repairing itself.

  “Baldric needs to die,” I said again, locking eyes with him.

  “Zoe,” Josh started, his voice softening as he took a step toward me, “I love you. God, how much I love you—how much I’ve always loved you. But…I won’t help you kill him. I…I can’t.”

  “Excuse me?” My jaw hit the forest floor. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “He’s the reason this whole world has fallen to shit. He’s the one who took you from me. He’s the reason you are what you are now.”

  Josh turned his back to me and the world got a little colder and a lot darker. “He’s the reason I’m alive, Zoe. He’s the one who saved me when Alec attacked me and left me for dead.”

  “He only saved you because he knew you’d be one of the Chosen,” I retorted. “He’s using you.”

  “He risked the change not taking by turning me to save my life,” he said, shoulders tensing. “None of the Chosen have been a vampire before their transformation.”

  I pursed my lips. “Regardless, he still took you to use you against me—Chosen or not. How can you defend him, Josh? He’s a fucking monster. A killer.”

  “And you’re not?” he snapped, whirling on me.

  I stumbled back as if he’d physically struck me. He must have seen the look on my face because his own expression softened just a little.

  “I’ve seen you kill too,” he almost whispered. “I’ve watched you decapitate people and take life without a second thought. As have I. I’m not trying to defend him, Zoe. I’m just saying, at this point, aren’t we all monsters?”

  “We’re the monsters that hunt worse monsters,” I breathed, echoing the words Ryuu had told me shortly before Baldric’s men took his head and slapped it on a stake.

  Josh took a cautious step toward me. “Maybe he isn’t the worse monster. Maybe he isn’t the villain we’ve been convinced he is. I can’t get myself to kill the man if there’s even the slightest chance he might be the innocent one in all this.”

  “I can never forgive him for what he’s done to my people—my friends. What he’s done to me. What he’s taken from me.”

  “War is an ugly thing,” Josh said, sounding an awful lot like the man in question. He took another step forward, and then another, until he was standing in front of me once more. “We’ve all done things we haven’t liked in this war. And yes, Baldric took my memories—but he gave me immortality. He gave me the chance to spend forever with you. I’ll gladly be a monster if it means being with you.”

  I withdrew as he reached out for me. “But that’s just it, Josh, we can’t be together. He thinks I’m his. As long as he lives, I will never be yours, not truly. You said yourself, you couldn’t keep doing this. Well, until your king is dead, this is all you will get. Secret glances and stolen kisses. And how long will that even last before the wrong person catches us?”

  “We’ll leave,” he said, reaching out for me once more. I didn’t move away from him this time, leaning into his hand as it cupped my cheek. “We will escape and go somewhere together. We’ll start over.”

  “If I leave, Baldric will kill my people. He’ll kill Cody, Josh.”

  We stood in the darkness, eyes locked and breath coming fast. How could he suggest allowing Baldric to live? The man had destroyed the world. He’d taken Josh and erased his memory while making him a bloodthirsty monster just like the rest of us. He’d threatened to kill the people I loved. He wanted to make me his bride. How could Josh, the man who’d claimed I was his, the one who said he couldn’t bear the thought of another man touching me, accept this?

  “We’ll figure something out,” he said and I felt my frustration growing all over again.

  I withdrew from his touch. “Perhaps I’ll just give him what he wants and be his precious queen,” I bit out.

  “You will not,” Josh snarled, his hand snapping out and wrapping around my wrist so fast that even I had trouble following it.

  “I don’t see what other option I have,” I said, goading him as I half-heartedly tried to break free of his hold. “I can’t leave and you won’t help me kill him. What other choice do I have but to accept the life I’ve been put in?”

  Josh yanked on my wrist, pulling me into his hard body. He growled and lifted me off my feet, spinning me around and slamming me into the nearest tree trunk. My legs wrapped around his middle as his lips descended on mine, claiming my mouth in a punishing kiss I was sure would have bruised me if I were still human.

  “You’re mine,” he said against my mouth and I couldn’t help the whimper that escaped my throat. Something about growly, dominant Josh did all sorts of naughty things to my lady parts. I had a feeling this
was the Josh I could have had years ago if I hadn’t kept friend-zoning him. Though I suspected his transformation and newly acquired taste for blood only amplified his need to claim me.

  “I meant what I said,” Josh continued. “I refuse to see you become someone else’s again when you damn well know who you belong to. Who you were always supposed to belong to. I won’t lose you again.”

  I ground my core against his impressive erection, heat pooling between my legs upon remembering that we were completely and totally alone.

  He was mine. I’d take him however I could get him until I found a way out of Baldric’s clutches. And I would find a way out. Even if I had to kill Baldric on my own without Josh’s blessing.

  Josh pulled back, his eyes darting over my shoulder. In an instant, Josh paled, releasing his hold on me and collapsing to the forest floor.

  “Shall I kill him for you?” a voice in the darkness hissed.

  I spun around at the familiar raspy voice coming from the shadows of the small forest. The cloaked figure crept out of the darkness, black tattered robe concealing all but its glowing yellow eyes. Eyes that most would never dare look into.

  “Kaziel!” I gasped and Josh groaned at my feet, grabbing his stomach as sweat formed along his brow. Shit.

  “Would you like me to end him for you, Zoe?” the shadow creature asked once more, shaking me from my shocked state.

  “No!” I shouted, dropping to the ground beside Josh’s now writhing body. “Release him! He’s mine. I mean, he’s one of the Chosen.”

  Almost instantly Josh’s color came back and his muscles relaxed under my hand. He struggled to his knees, panting. “I’m going to kill that fucking thing,” he grumbled.

  “No, you aren’t,” I told him. “Neither of you are killing each other. What the hell are you doing here, Kaziel?” I asked, turning my attention to the shadow creature, still shocked by its presence. “Is William here?” I didn’t like how much that thought unnerved me. Where there was William, there was Alec. Not to mention that any attempt at “rescuing” me could lead to the deaths of my friends.

  “No,” the creature rasped. “Lylan banished those of us who chose to fight for you.”

  Lylan was the shadow creature who’d taken over leading the monstrous creatures after the previous leader, Litharo, was killed for attacking and trying to eat me. Lylan was stuck on the whole no fighting as a means to earn favor back with God for whatever treacherous things the creatures had done in the past thing. Kaziel and a few others chose to fight…for me. Kaziel was the reason I was still alive as well as many of my people. It was the one shadow creature who had earned my trust. For the most part.

  “The others are here with you?” I asked, not sure how that made me feel. Kaziel was able to hold eye contact without the temptation for destruction and death. The others, not so much.

  “Yes,” the creature replied. “We follow you now. We will do whatever you ask.”

  “Oh great, so now I’m the source of redemption,” I muttered, running a hand over my face. I highly doubted the shadow creatures would find salvation through a monster like me, but if they wanted to work for me, I’d take all the help I could get. Maybe they would kill Baldric for me.

  “We came in hopes of freeing you,” the creature continued. “Though it appears you have already escaped the dark one.”

  Its eyes scanned back over Josh who was still kneeling on the ground beside me, blue eyes boldly returning the creature’s gaze. Other than me, Josh was the only one to stare into Kaziel’s chilling eyes.

  “She hasn’t escaped,” Josh said for me, climbing to his feet and taking a menacing step forward. “She is staying willingly.”

  “Interesting,” the creature mused. I noticed its voice wasn’t quite as raspy as I’d remembered. “Well, we shall be ready when you need us. You need only call my name. Until then, we will be waiting.”

  With that, the shadow creature melted into the darkness.

  “You have some messed up friends,” Josh grumbled once Kaziel was gone.

  “Takes one to know one,” I said, turning away from him to retrieve my bow. “Let’s kill something and get back before Baldric gets suspicious and sends out the cavalry. Don’t need him glamouring you away from me again.”

  In a rush of movement, Josh was standing in front of me, pulling me back into his arms. “Just because I don’t want to kill him doesn’t mean I will allow Baldric to have you. Your heart—your body—belong to me and mine to you. We will figure something out. I promise.”

  I nodded against his warm chest, finding promises still left a bad taste in my mouth.

  Josh and I dragged our kills behind us as we made our way back to Baldric’s seaside kingdom—kills we’d collected to keep up appearances. Couldn’t very well come back empty handed and risk raising suspicion. Not to mention, it felt good to kill…more than I cared to admit. Then again, I was a monster. We towed the five deer behind us as we approached the main gates. Not surprisingly, Baldric was there to greet us.

  “It seems you had success,” the would-be king said.

  “Yeah,” I replied, tossing a look at Josh. “But he’s a shit hunter. Couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn. Maybe it’s him you should be training, not me. You’d think a hybrid would be faster and stronger.”

  Baldric chuckled and I noticed the fire burning in Josh’s eyes. It seemed to say, I’ll show you strong.

  “I imagine you would like to clean up,” Baldric said, his black eyes skimming over my body. “I saw you both returning and had Lindsay start preparing your bath.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled, not sure how I felt about Baldric watching for us. Then again, I’d expected as much, at least initially.

  I handed my bow and quiver to Josh as he reached for them. Of course, no one was going to let me keep a weapon in my possession for too long. Not that I needed one. I could kill most of the people within Baldric’s kingdom with my bare hands. Perks of being one of the Chosen. Perks, curses…whatever.

  I left our kills with Baldric and Josh and swiftly made my way through the castle. By the time I reached my room, Lindsay was almost done with my bath, stoking the fire beneath the large clawfoot tub. The smell of lavender was heavy in the air and I breathed it in deeply.

  “Hey,” she said when she saw me come in. “It’s ready for you.”

  She laid out a towel before flopping onto my bed, propping her chin up on her hands. Apparently, I was taking a bath with company. Not that shifts cared much about nudity. Cody had proved that on numerous occasions since the first time he’d shifted in front of me in my tiny apartment. That image was still burned into my brain.

  I stripped out of my clothes, still mostly clean after the hunt, though wrinkled from wrestling a certain hybrid. A sigh slipped past my lips as I stepped into the bath, savoring the sensation of the heat enveloping me as I slipped all the way into the water. I imagined the flames of Hell were only slightly hotter. And even it wasn’t as hot as Josh’s touch.

  “How was the hunt?” Lindsay said. I’d almost forgotten she was there.

  I closed my eyes, resting my head back against the rim of the tub. “It was fine.”

  “Just fine?”

  I cracked open one eye to look at her. “Yeah. What do you want me to say? It was just a hunt. We went out, killed some deer, brought them back.”

  “How did Josh do?”

  “He sucks at hunting,” I lied. It wasn’t true. Josh had killed three of the five deer without breaking a sweat. His aim was on point. “He managed to kill one by dumb luck.”

  She smirked and the hairs on the back of my neck rose in warning. “I bet he looked hot while doing it, huh?”

  Now she had my full attention. I turned my head to face her, putting on my best resting bitch face—the one that told people to tread carefully. “What are you getting at, Linds?”

  My use of her old nickname wiped the smirk from her face. “I just wondered how it was being out there alone with him. It must
be hard for you…being so close to him after all you two have been through. Knowing the feelings that you both shared.”

  Josh has always loved you, just as you’ve always loved him. We all saw it back then. You two were just too stubborn to admit it to each other. Always worried about ruining your friendship instead of just being together. Doesn’t surprise me at all to find out you’re both Chosen. Even fate couldn’t keep you two apart. But it’s too late now, isn’t it?

  “He’s a stranger now,” I said, keeping my expression blank, remembering how it had felt when I looked in Josh’s eyes and saw nothing there. He’d been a shell of himself. As far as Lindsay knew, he was still just that. And it had to stay that way. “The Josh I once knew is dead and gone.”

  “Still,” she said, “it can’t be easy.”

  I wasn’t sure if she was trying to have a heart-to-blackened-heart with me or if she was just mocking me. My cynical side said it was the latter.

  “After losing Cody, I had a really rough time,” she continued. “Sometimes I still do. It’s hard to lose someone you care so deeply about.”

  “You left him by choice,” I pointed out, an edge creeping into my voice. “Josh was taken from me.”

  She pushed herself to sit, brown eyes momentarily flashing yellow. “Cody chose not to come with me,” she snarled, tears welling in her eyes. “He chose to stay with you. I lost my mate because of you. And now you’ve lost yours.”

  I rested my head back on the rim of the tub, staring a hole in the ceiling. “So, we’re even now, is that it? You lost Cody because he was supposed to be my shift and I lost Josh because Baldric wants me for himself?”

  “Yes.”

  “If you loved Cody so much, then you should have followed him,” I said calmly, ice seeping into my voice. “You had that choice and you didn’t take it. You screwed up and that’s not on me, no matter how much you try to make it my fault. Josh was taken from me, had his mind wiped, and now doesn’t know who I am. I had no choice. You. Did.”