by J. N. Baker
When it came time for dinner, I took my seat beside Baldric like usual and—surprise, surprise—Lindsay’s chair was vacant.
“Where is Lindsay?” I asked absently, taking a rather large sip of the wine sitting in front of me. “I wanted to thank her for helping me move into the king’s chambers.”
Whispers and giggles filled the dining hall at my words along with a few hear, hears. Apparently, news of me moving in with Baldric hadn’t traveled to everyone yet. Including Josh. I met his hard gaze from across the table, his jaw ticking. I could only imagine the self-control he was exhibiting. I wondered if he’d kill Lindsay before I got the chance. Or if he was starting to regret not helping me kill the king.
“She’s in her room,” a female shift replied from beside me when the chatter had died down. “She wasn’t feeling well.”
I bet she wasn’t.
I put on my best concerned face. “Oh, that’s not good. I should take her some dinner. It is the least I can do after all she’s done for me during my time here.”
As I stood, Baldric’s hand snapped out, wrapping around my wrist. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. His pitch-black eyes said it all: do not harm her. Or perhaps that was him planting thoughts into my head as Annie use to do.
“My king,” I purred down at him, smiling sweetly. “I will see you later tonight.” I yanked my arm free and picked up my plate of food, heading out of the dining hall to have a little chat with an old friend.
I didn’t bother to knock when I reached Lindsay’s bedroom chamber, kicking the door open. She gasped, leaping to her feet as I chucked the plate of food against the wall beside her head. Perhaps I should have been a little quieter, but I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly. Besides, most people in the castle were all the way on the other side of it, dining with their king.
“You told him,” I snarled, slamming the door shut behind me.
“I-I didn’t!”
I charged her, slamming her into the wall, pinning her there. “Liar.”
She narrowed her eyes at me, yellow bleeding into the brown as the animal within begged to be unleashed. “I didn’t tell him,” she said again. “You made me promise not to tell him about you and Josh and I didn’t breathe a damn word about that. But I should have.”
I pulled her away from the wall and slammed her back into it. “He’s making me sleep in his room, Lindsay,” I bit out. “In his bed.”
“Good!” she blurted. “That’s where you should be. You belong to the king, not Josh. Now you know what it feels like to love someone you can no longer have. Mates don’t always get happy endings. Be happy you at least get a king.”
“So, because you can’t have Cody, you made sure I couldn’t have Josh, is that it?” I tossed her to the floor. “This isn’t high school anymore, Lindsay. This is my damn life. My life. Grow the fuck up.”
The door to her room creaked open and I spun around to find the king himself standing in the doorway. Baldric reached out his hand to me. “Let us go to bed, my dear.”
Reluctantly, I took his hand, letting him tow me from Lindsay’s room, likely saving her life.
People stopped to watched as the king led me through the castle to his bed chambers, clearing the way for us like we were in some goddamned wedding processional. I followed after him—not like I had much choice.
Baldric paused in front of a massive door, pushing it open for me just as Josh stepped into the hallway. The look of sheer horror on Josh’s face as Baldric ushered me into the room was one that would haunt me. Like me, there wasn’t much Josh could do about this situation. Not unless he wanted to kill the king.
The door clicked shut behind us and I took my first look at space where the mighty king slept. It wasn’t much different from my own room, except for one aspect.
“That’s a lot of purple,” I said, walking farther into the room. Purple bedding, a purple canopy draped around the enormous bed, purple art on the walls; there was even a pair of plush purple chairs in front of the one roaring fire on the far side of the room.
“It was Sera’s favorite color,” he replied, moving to the bed. He sat down, paying me little mind as he began removing his boots. “I had them set up a partition in the corner for you to dress in privacy. The dresser from your old room is behind it.”
He’d also had them bring in my bathtub, which was sitting conveniently next to his. He must have noticed where I was staring.
“I meant what I said—I will not touch you. Have I not proven to you yet that I am a man of my word?”
I pursed my lips and walked over to the partition. “Thanks,” I mumbled.
When I came back out in my lounge pants and a tank top, Baldric was sprawled out on the far side of the big bed. Still fully clothed.
“Don’t you get warm?”
“No,” he replied, rolling away from me.
Fighting every instinct within my body, I crawled into the bed beside the man who supposedly destroyed the world. I hugged my side of the bed, putting as much space between us as physically possible, listening as his breathing became slower and deeper.
“I’m not her,” I whispered to the darkness.
“I know…” the darkness replied.
I saw Josh less and less frequently after being permanently moved into Baldric’s chambers. And when I did see him, he was distant, cold. He wouldn’t even make eye contact with me. It was as if we were strangers in this godforsaken world.
And then I didn’t see him at all. Not even in passing.
For the past four days, he’d been absent from meals, hadn’t shown up for any more group trainings. He’d just vanished.
I’d almost asked Philip a few times where he’d gone, but I couldn’t exactly do that without drawing suspicion. I just had to trust that Josh was somewhere, okay. I couldn’t imagine Philip joking each night at dinner the way he’d been doing if something bad had happened to Josh. The two seemed close.
Still, each day—each hour—that passed without seeing him left me feeling a little emptier until I was a mere shell of myself.
The only positive was that Baldric had continued to uphold his promise not to touch me, even with being so close to me each night. The man didn’t even attempt to make a move. Every night he would whisk me away to “our” room and then the door would close and the silence would fall. He slept on his side of the bed—fully clothed—and I slept on mine. Hell, he even made himself scarce when I wanted to bathe.
We were post-apocalyptic roommates.
And it made me miss Josh all the more.
I sat in front of the fireplace in the main hall of the castle with an unopened book on my lap. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been sitting there, staring into the flames when Lindsay came up beside me, the rapid beating of her guilty heart pounding in my eardrums.
“Go away.”
“Zoe…”
I tore my gaze from the fire to look up at her. Something in my expression made her doe eyes grow a little bigger and she took a small step back.
“I said, go away.” She was lucky I didn’t kill her right where she stood. Throw her body into the fire and let the flames do the dirty work for me.
“Look, I shouldn’t have said anything to the king,” she said, her voice dropping to a whisper. “But you have to understand, my loyalty is to him, not you. Seeing you betray him like that… Still, I shouldn’t have done what I did and I’m sorry.”
“Oh, you’re sorry?” I bit out.
“You were right,” she blurted. “Is that what you want me to say? You were right and I was wrong. I let my mate get away. I could have gone with Cody, or done something to keep him by my side, and I didn’t. I didn’t fight hard enough for him and I lost him. I will have to live with that decision for the rest of my life. But that’s on me, not you. It was wrong of me to take my pain out on you.
“If I were in your position, I would do anything—betray anyone—to have my mate back. I would have done the same damn thing. So, yeah, I’m sorry I
did what I did. It was a bitch move and I wish I could take it back.”
I resumed my staring contest with the raging inferno in front of me. “Just go away, Lindsay.”
The woman I’d once considered my friend sighed. “Josh went on the monthly fishing trip to the islands. That’s why he’s been gone. He asked to go with Olive and the others. They’re due back today.”
I listened as Lindsay’s footsteps got farther away until I was sure she was out of the room, and then I exhaled the breath I’d been holding. Josh was okay. He’d be back soon. But why hadn’t he told me about leaving? Why had he been so standoffish leading up to the hunt? I hadn’t spoken with him in over a week—not since Lindsay had caught us together in bed. Well, almost together. Painfully so.
Standing from the fire, I set my book down and headed out of the castle. The familiar salty air brushed against my face and I sighed. I used my advanced sight to make my way to the cliff’s edge, giving me a front row seat to both the ocean and the road into Baldric’s kingdom.
I sat, dangling my feet over the edge and listening to the waves crashing violently below me. That sound would always remind me of home.
“Thinking of jumping?” a deep voice said from behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see Baldric standing there, a tight smile on his face. “I would not recommend it. The fall would not kill you, but the creatures below those dark waters might.”
A shiver racked my body and I slipped my feet back onto solid ground, tucking them beneath me. “I just needed some fresh air.”
“I see,” he said. “Would you care to take a walk with me? I wanted to visit the village to see how my people are doing and if they need anything from me.”
“I’m not sure your people there will want to see me again.”
“They are your people now too,” he said flatly, offering me a hand up. “They just need to see you as their queen.”
I took his hand and let him pull me up. “Do you do that often? Check on your people?”
“Of course. A good leader always makes sure his people are cared for. Why? Does that surprise you?”
He knew it did, what with all William had told me. And Markus. And even Rhett with the grisly scar Baldric had given him. “I guess I just didn’t expect you to do it yourself,” I said instead.
Baldric took my hand and placed it on top of his arm in a very noble, not-of-this-century sort of way and then began leading me through the darkness to where his large village sat.
“You are giving half-truths,” he finally said. “It is only you and me here. Speak your mind.”
“You said you didn’t kill Markus’s daughter,” I started.
“No, I most certainly did not.”
“Then what happened? Because Markus is not the only one of your deserters to talk of your abuse. Some of them have physical scars to back their stories.”
He stopped walking, eyes fixed somewhere far away. “William happened.”
“Who’s speaking half-truths now?” I said when he didn’t say more.
Baldric’s lips pulled up at the edges. “Very well, my dear,” he said, starting to walk again. “I am sure by now you have learned the extent of a Chosen telepath’s powers?”
My mind went directly to Annie. How she’d learned she could not only put her thoughts into other people’s heads, but plant memories and even erase them. I was the one who had helped her strengthen her ability. Both planting…and erasing.
I nodded. He didn’t need to know how strong Annie had become.
“The telepath who came before the redhead was very good at mental manipulation. William had made sure of it. He used her to grow his own army as he had done with all her predecessors since the first. He would capture my people and would tell them of some horrible treachery I had committed, and the telepath would solidify it by planting false memories in their heads. Sometimes even erasing positive memories.
“William took Markus’s daughter and wife and killed them both, convincing him it was me. Markus was in such a blind rage that he believed them. It was quite the loss for our people. Markus had been my shift at the time. It was likely why William had targeted him.”
“He was your shift?” The skepticism was clear in my voice. The man had hated Baldric with every moldable bone in his body. It couldn’t be true, right? But it wouldn’t be the first time I’d been lied to…
“One of them, yes. As for those with physical scars…some of my people did obtain scars while with me. After all, war is not easy on the body, especially for our shifts. But most of the scars you saw were inflicted by William himself.”
“So, you just expect me to believe that all of them have been brainwashed to think that you are the bad guy and William is the good guy and that you never harmed any of them?”
“You can believe whatever you like,” he countered. “You have been fed many lies over the years. I do not expect to erase them all in a few nights. But with time—”
“With time, what? I’ll come to see the light?” I tossed his own words that he’d used on me when he threw me into Roland’s demented dungeon back at him.
He stopped just outside the torchlit entrance to his bustling village, his dark eyes finding mine. “In time, I hope to give you the light back,” he said. “Until then, I hope you are able to come to see me through the eyes of my people.”
“My king!” someone cried out as they spotted us.
People—vampires, shifts, and even some humans—all came out of their shops and homes to greet the king. As I began to release his arm, he placed my hand back in the nook of his arm, smiling down at me.
No one dared toss me any angry looks as I toured the village this time. In fact, people looked genuinely pleased to see me, save for a small handful of women who gazed upon me with envy in their eyes. Lindsay had said there were those who would kill to be with the king. But most welcomed me.
Women kissed my hands and men bowed before me; there were those who even greeted me as “my queen.” A few asked me when the wedding would be, to which I had no response because my grandmother taught me if you didn’t have anything nice to say then you shouldn’t say anything at all.
Baldric was disgustingly charming. His people didn’t just follow him, they adored him. He moved through the crowd, shaking hands and listening to problems with his full attention. One woman told him there was a shortage of firewood, which he assured her he would take care of immediately.
A man came to inform him they were running low on oils for the torches lining their streets and the lanterns in their homes. Baldric said more would be delivered within a day or two. Problem after problem and Baldric found a solution to all of them.
We were then escorted into the main tavern by a big man with an even bigger gut. Surprising for how little food was available. Baldric pulled my chair out for me as we took a seat across from the man.
“We are running low on meat, Your Highness,” he said, unfolding a piece of paper he took out of his pocket. “With our current rations, we should have enough for another few days.”
“We have a supply coming in today,” Baldric told him. “You will have meat by tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty,” he said, eyes downcast as he fidgeted with the paper. It was clear he wanted to ask for something else.
Baldric started to rise from his chair, but I put a hand on his arm, stopping him. I looked at the man. “Is there something else?”
The man turned his attention to me, surprise flashing across his face like he hadn’t expected me to speak.
“It is fine, my lad—”
“Zoe,” I interrupted. “Just call me Zoe. Now, what is it you need?”
“We are truly blessed to have such a plentiful supply of food surrounding us. It’s just…some of our people are allergic to fish and not everyone is able to hunt for other meats. They are struggling to get enough to eat.”
“It will be taken care of,” I told him with a nod. “I’ll see to it personally.”
His round face lit up. “Thank you—” His eyes darted to Baldric and the king nodded. “—Zoe,” the man finished.
In the distance, a horn sounded and Baldric stood, taking my hand.
“Olive’s team has returned,” Baldric said when he saw the confusion on my face. Then he turned back to the tavern owner. “I will have your supply of fish brought over in the morning along with one of the deer from my beautiful bride’s last hunt to get you by until she gathers more.”
The man stood and bowed before shaking each of our hands. “Thank you both.”
I followed Baldric out of the tavern to find it snowing, light flakes dancing around us as we made our way back to the castle.
“You did well,” he told me once we were out of the village, releasing my hand. “Better than I imagined.”
“Are you surprised?” I asked, raising a brow. “I do possess a few people skills.”
He chuckled, brushing a bit of snow from the top of my head. “I am sure you do.”
“Wait,” I said, stopping in my tracks. “Did you do that—parade me around your people—to make them like me?”
“And if I had?”
I rolled my eyes. Damn him. Why couldn’t he just be the villain William claimed he was?
As we reached the castle, Olive’s team was already unloading their baskets of fish from their trip, of which there was a fair amount. But I wasn’t a fool. There were easily a hundred-plus people just within the castle alone and fish was only so filling. Even with two meals a day, that was a lot of fish to gather. It made sense why they went out once a month.
I spotted Josh immediately, yanking down one of the baskets of fish from the cart. My blackened heart shot into overdrive as I moved to stand beside him. “Can I help?”
His icy eyes, just a little colder than usual, met mine. “No,” he replied. “Your place is beside the king.”
With that, Josh took the fish inside without so much as another glance.
What the actual fuck was that about?