Pitch Black (Until Dawn, Book 4)

by J. N. Baker

  “And you are going to be the one to help me stop his reign of terror. And then you will rule alongside me. The last thing that vile creature will see of this Earth is what true greatness looks like.”

  I blinked away my horror. “You’re no better than him,” I breathed.

  “I am nothing like him,” Baldric snapped. “This world deserves better than William. And it will get better. It will get me.”

  I pursed my lips. “You may not be like him,” I admitted, “but you’re no better than him either.”

  Steeling myself, I sidestepped around Baldric and made my way toward the bed. In one swift yank, I pulled one of the fur blankets off the bed and wrapped it around my shoulders before heading for the door.

  “Where do you think you are going?” he asked, shoulders heaving.

  My hard eyes met his. “I think it’s best if I sleep in my old room tonight,” I told him. “I’ve slept under the same roof with two controlling assholes in my life already, I don’t want to make it three. Three strikes and it might be you who is out.”

  “And if I say no?”

  I paused as I reached for the door handle. “Are you going to stop me, Baldric?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. “Am I back to being your prisoner?”

  He glared at me, jaw clenched nearly as tightly as his fists. He blinked a few times, muscles visibly relaxing. “No,” he finally whispered, all fighting leaving him in that one word. “You are not.”

  With that, I stormed out of Baldric’s bedroom chamber.

  I lay in the room that had once been my beautiful prison, the bed the only thing left from when it was still mine. I curled in a ball on the stripped-down mattress, the blanket wrapped tightly around me. I didn’t bother lighting either of the fireplaces. I just came in, accepted the cold darkness, and crawled into bed, wishing Josh was with me.

  I wasn’t sure how long I’d lain there awake before a soft rap came to the door. A knock I’d become rather familiar with since coming to stay in Baldric’s kingdom.

  “Come in,” I called, sitting up in the bed. I wasn’t at all surprised when Lindsay slipped into my dark chambers, even if it was the middle of the “true” night.

  Her eyes momentarily flashed yellow, likely to combat the absolute blackness of the room. She shivered, running her hands up and down her arms.

  “You came back,” she said.

  “Everyone seems so shocked by that. I gave Baldric my word. Some of us actually keep our promises,” I added pointedly.

  Lindsay pursed her lips, stepping farther into the room. “I guess I deserve that. Though I didn’t actually break my promise. Not exactly.”

  “Close enough,” I shot back. It was Lindsay’s fault I was moved into Baldric’s chambers. She should have just kept her big mouth shut.

  Lindsay sighed and shivered for the second time. “It’s freezing in here,” she said, her breath clouding in front of her face. “Want me to start a fire?”

  “Don’t care.”

  She rolled her eyes and moved over to the fireplace, getting to work stacking kindling in a crisscross pattern.

  “I’m surprised you knew I was gone,” I told her as I watched her adding wood to the pile. I was amazed there were any trees left with how much wood we had to go through to keep from freezing our asses off without the warmth from the sun. “I got the impression Baldric didn’t make it public news that his precious queen took off on a mini vacation.”

  “He didn’t,” she said, pausing in what she was doing to look at me. “He just told us you weren’t feeling well.”

  That was an understatement after the truth bomb he’d dropped on me.

  “So, how did you know?”

  Lindsay shrugged. “Scarlett was looking for you the entire time you were gone. She’s become rather attached to you. You being gone really upset her. It upset the king too,” she added, striking a match and tossing it into the pile. “And then Josh disappeared. Honestly, I thought the two of you had run away together. I was surprised when you returned.”

  I scooted to the foot of the bed, letting my bare feet dangle as I watched the flames crackle and expand, eating away at the wood until the fire was raging. Warmth pooled into the room but didn’t penetrate my skin.

  “I got some upsetting information,” I finally said, eyes glued to the flames.

  “You learned the truth, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah,” I breathed.

  The truth that the last seven years of my life were nothing but one giant goddamn lie.

  “And?”

  “And what?” I snapped. If she said I told you so, I would lose my shit.

  Lindsay came to sit at the foot of the bed beside me, her eyes unusually kind. She almost looked like the girl I once knew; the one I used to trust. “What now?” she asked. “What will you do now that you know the truth?”

  I pressed the heels of my palms into my tightly closed eyes and groaned. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “William obviously needs to die.”

  That was a given after what he’d done to me, let alone everyone else on this godforsaken planet. I had to make shit right. And I would…somehow.

  Then Josh and I and all those we cared about could leave this shitty life behind us and move on—somewhere far, far away from Baldric and his kingdom. We could start over as Josh had said. Only, it didn’t sound like Baldric was about to toss aside his crown or his need to rule over what was left of the free world. At least, not until he finally allowed William to die. And I didn’t expect that to be any time soon.

  And I wasn’t so sure he’d let me go either—William or no.

  “Hmm,” Lindsay said noncommittally. “Well, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” I found myself asking.

  She shrugged, eyes fixed to the now-roaring fire. “It can’t be easy to learn that sort of truth. To find out that you were manipulated and used. That you were the real enemy all along. And that every move you’ve made was done to stop the good guys while being made to believe that you were the good guy. It all has to be very confusing for you.”

  If it weren’t for the absolute sincerity in her voice, I would have thought Lindsay was mocking me, poking at the already festering wound on my conscience where the guilt was eating away at me.

  But she’d hit the nail on the head. I’d spent years killing what I’d thought were the bad guys, watching as the world fell apart around me while I did nothing because I was told to do nothing. I may not have caused the apocalypse, but I’d let it happen. I was an unknowing participant. A fucking pawn in William’s twisted game.

  He made me into this. I didn’t care what Baldric said, there was no waiting. William would die the second I got the chance. I would kill him myself and all of this would end.

  Only, I wasn’t sure I was strong enough on my own.

  Lindsay’s hand fell on top of mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. It was such a genuine, friendly action—so familiar and yet so foreign coming from her. “I wish I could have gotten to you before William had all those years ago. I should have fought to get you and Cody back. I’m sorry. No one deserves what you’ve been through. But hopefully now that you know the truth, you can get your revenge.”

  “Revenge…” I replied absently. “Right.”

  One more death to end them all…unless Baldric refused to let me go.

  “Do you think Baldric would turn me?” I asked and surprise registered on Lindsay’s face. “If I asked him to,” I amended.

  “I don’t know…” she said, standing from the bed. “That would make you really powerful.”

  Too powerful, she wanted to say, but I’d heard her loud and clear, nonetheless. If Baldric made me a bloodsucker, I would be equal in power to him. Possibly more powerful. He couldn’t risk that, no matter how much he was beginning to trust me.

  But it was what I’d need to make sure William died, and it was what I’d need if Baldric refused to back down or let me go when the dust from William’s destruction settle
d.

  I had to make Baldric turn me. I needed him to make me into something I’d once found vile and repulsive: a vampire. I needed to become a hybrid like Josh.

  “Do you want me to draw you a hot bath or get you something to eat?” Lindsay asked, changing the subject.

  I shook my head, crawling back into the stripped-down bed. “I just want to sleep,” I told her. “It’s late. You should do the same.”

  “Okay,” she said, heading for the door. “You know where to find me if you need anything.”

  “Yeah, and Lindsay—” she paused in the threshold of the door, her eyes meeting mine “—thanks.”

  A small smile touched her lips and then she nodded. “Sure thing.”

  She ducked out of the room and I curled up on the bed, pretending Josh’s arms were wrapped around me instead of the blanket.

  I woke to an unwanted presence at the foot of my bed. I knew it wasn’t Josh. He would’ve been touching me already. And it wasn’t Lindsay, seeing as she always knocked. I tossed the blanket over my head, not wanting to see Baldric’s face this early. At least I assumed it was early.

  “What do you want?”

  “You sleep like the dead,” his deep voice rumbled.

  “You’d know,” I shot back.

  He laughed humorlessly. “Common misconception about vampires. I am very much alive as I am sure you are well aware.”

  Unfortunately, I wanted to say but thought better of it.

  “I was able to come right up to you without you even stirring,” Baldric continued, and I felt him shift at my feet. “You need to be more aware of your surroundings, even in your sleep.”

  “Easy to sneak up on someone when you could just appear out of thin air,” I grumbled before once again asking, “What do you want, Baldric?”

  “To start, I would like you to look at me while we speak,” he said.

  I rolled my eyes, flinging off the covers, the bright morning light slapping me in the face as I sat up.

  Morning light?

  “What the—”

  I leapt from the bed and sprinted to the closed window, pressing my hands against the icy pane.

  “I am sorry,” Baldric said, “I cannot make it carry warmth.”

  “What is this?” I breathed, hypnotized by the brilliant rays of sunlight dancing over my skin. My legs trembled beneath me, threatening to give out. How many times had I taken the morning light for granted? The way the sun made the whole sky glow as it welcomed a new day. I closed my eyes. If I imagined hard enough, I could almost remember the way it warmed my skin.

  “It is my way of apologizing for my behavior last night,” Baldric said from where he still sat at the foot of the bed. With great difficulty, I forced myself to turn away from the golden beams of light to meet his eyes. His very violet eyes.

  Talk about Jekyll and Hyde.

  “Last night I allowed my anger to get the better of me,” he continued. “I fear I took that out on you, and for that I am truly sorry.”

  “Yeah,” I said, because what else was there to say?

  “You need to understand something,” he said, his normally big voice almost a whisper. “The wound William inflicted within me has never healed. Quite the opposite. Over the centuries, it has festered and grown. The pain eats away at me. It never ends. It consumes me—controls me. I have no choice but to make him suffer for what he has done. Only then will I be free again. I do not think I will be able to make his death cleaner than he deserves. I cannot help myself…I must have my revenge.”

  “Revenge is poison on the soul,” I replied absently. “It destroys everything in its path, including the one who wields it.”

  “I am not sure I have a soul to ruin anymore…”

  Baldric stood from the bed and took a single step in my direction. “The sun looks beautiful in your hair,” he said, those intense eyes—lighter than I’d ever seen them before—transfixed on me. “It dances around you, drawn to you like a halo of light. You look like an angel…just like her.”

  “Like her, but not her,” I told him.

  “No,” he agreed, coming to stand beside me. “Not her.”

  His eyes shifted from me to the sunlight he was creating. “She loved the sun, just like you. During times of peace, she would spend her days out in the gardens, soaking in the warmth as she read. It was like the sun refused to set until she came back inside. Sometimes I wondered if it shone just for her.”

  I turned my gaze back to the fake sunlight, basking in its glory while I still could, trying to burn it into memory. I knew that outside this room, the world was still consumed with darkness and would be until…

  “You know the sun won’t come back until William is dead,” I said. “Well and truly dead. Not in some prison cell while you torture him for the next who-knows-how-many-years.”

  “Centuries,” he almost growled and then the hard lines of his face softened once again. He exhaled. “I know,” he replied solemnly.

  “If you don’t think you can do it, then make me strong enough to do it—turn me.”

  Baldric was quiet for a long minute before he shook his head once. I knew it wouldn’t be that easy.

  “How long will it last?” I asked, nodding toward the beautiful illusion.

  “As long as I am present.”

  Well, that was one way to make me want to keep the man around.

  “Are you ready for me to leave yet?”

  “Just a little longer,” I whispered.

  The door to the room swung open and a mop of blond hair came rushing toward me.

  “Zoo!” Scarlett squealed and then she stopped dead in her tracks, those big blue eyes doubling in size as she took in the daylight coming from the window.

  “I am so sorry, Your Majesty,” Lindsay said, panting as she barreled down the hallway. “She heard Zoe was back and took off on me. She’s getting fast—” And then Lindsay’s gaze landed on the light and her brown eyes misted over.

  Seven months in darkness, I could understand the emotions she was feeling.

  “It is quite all right,” Baldric told her softly, his eyes falling to where Scarlett now cowered in the shadows. “She can stay with us.”

  That was when it hit me: Scarlett had spent nearly half of her young life in darkness. She likely had no memory of what daylight even was—what the damn sun was. For her, there was night and more night. What a depressing thought.

  “It’s okay, Scar,” I said, holding out a hand to her. “It won’t hurt you, see?”

  Her curious eyes went from my hand to the light shimmering around me and she took a cautious step forward. And then another and another until she was standing right on the threshold of where light kissed the dark.

  “It’s called sunlight.”

  She put her hand into the steady stream of light and then squealed, quickly pulling it back, her eyes bright with excitement. Baldric chuckled beside me and a smile touched my own lips, but it was full of sadness. It broke my blackened heart that we had to teach a child what sunlight was.

  Scarlett hopped into the light and then back out, and then did it all over again. I sank to my knees as I watched her play, twirling around in clumsy circles, giggling without a care in the world.

  I met Baldric’s heavy gaze, his eyes flickering back and forth between inky black and vibrant violet.

  “This is why it has to end,” I told him.

  He looked at Scarlett and gave a stiff nod.

  Scarlett played in the sun in my former room for over an hour until I could tell by the flickering light that Baldric was getting weak. Mimicry meant he could perform all the Chosen abilities but at a vastly lower level. The little girl cried when the sunlight was swallowed up by the darkness, and if I were honest, my own blackened heart cried a little too.

  It was like having a small taste of what we could have again if William was destroyed.

  Baldric’s need for revenge was clearly clouding his judgment. I understood his pain. When I’d thought Josh had bee
n killed, I didn’t just want to destroy anyone involved in his supposed death. No, I wanted to set the whole goddamned world on fire just to watch it burn. Just to see it hurt as much as I did. I wanted everyone to feel my pain.

  The agony of losing someone you loved with all your being was pure torture. It made you die a little inside each day until there was nothing left, until your very soul was destroyed. But keeping William alive meant the world would remain lost to the darkness. And who knew how long it would last in this state. Not to mention Baldric had decided the world would be his to control and rule in the meantime.

  It had to end. The world and all of the people in it deserved a chance to survive and thrive again.

  I would do what I told Baldric I would. I would help him kill William—even if that meant I had to end him myself.

  Scarlett stirred in my arms, popping her thumb into her mouth and snuggling into me, making my heart ache.

  I stood from the edge of the bed and carried Scarlett out of my old chambers, heading to where I knew her room was. Slipping inside, I laid her gently on her small bed, tucking her in.

  “I’ll get you your sunlight back, little bear,” I promised, brushing a platinum lock of hair out of her face. “You will dance in its warmth soon enough.”

  Tiptoeing out of the room, I closed the door quietly behind me.

  “She napping?” Lindsay asked as she came down the hallway.

  I nodded. “She had an eventful morning. She’ll probably be out for a while. I’m going to go for a walk.”

  “Make sure to come back this time,” Lindsay called after me and I waved to her over my shoulder with a certain finger. Her laughter was the last thing I heard as I exited the main gates.