Reduced to Ashes

by Kay Gordon

  I was losing my mind.

  “Where’s your shirt?” I hissed, unsure if I was mad because his chest was distracting me or mad because my friends were seeing it. Evan’s lips quirked up in a smile and he reached out to touch the purple shirt I had on.

  “You’re wearing mine.”

  I looked down and saw that he was right. I glanced back to him, then to where my friends were grinning like fools.

  “I need coffee,” I mumbled as I stepped away from all of them to head towards the kitchen.

  I heard Kelly introduce herself to Evan but my focus was completely on the machine sitting on my counter. I stuck one of the single serve cups into the slot and hit the button for it to start. When everyone joined me a minute later, I spoke without looking up.

  “Anyone else want coffee? Coleman? Christos? Your pregnant ass doesn’t get any, Owens.”

  “Are you sure you can make it without burning it?” Kelly teased and I held my hand up with my middle finger on display without turning around, causing her to laugh. “Tori is hopeless in the kitchen. Remember when I asked her to watch the noodles I was boiling so I could change Eli’s diaper?”

  Megan chuckled somewhere behind me. “In the time it took you to change his diaper, the water completely evaporated, the noodles burned, and the smoke detector had gone off.”

  “It’s not my fault,” I grumbled as I turned to glare at the sisters who honestly looked nothing alike. Megan had dark brown hair that resembled a rich chocolate to contrast her sister’s much lighter tone. They were a couple of inches apart in height and they even had different color eyes, Megan’s hazel to Kelly’s blue. That being said, they were so alike in personalities that they could have been freakin’ twins. “You were gone for a really long time.”

  Kelly looked at Evan and shook her head. “It took me six minutes to change him. I timed it.”

  “Well, how about I make us some breakfast then?” Evan offered from where he was leaning against the counter that we’d been sitting at last night.

  His blue eyes were bright, full of humor, and I watched as they raked down my body like he was imagining me for breakfast. That thought had my cheeks heating up and I turned away from him to look back at the coffee machine.

  “I don’t have shit in my fridge to make breakfast.”

  “Then how about I take you ladies out to get something to eat?” he offered sweetly and I could feel my friends swoon behind me.

  “Actually,” Kelly said slowly with way too much intrigue in her voice. “I left my husband with the baby to come make sure there was no loss of life. I should get back home to them.”

  “And she’s my ride,” Megan chimed in happily. “Si’s at a department meeting but said he’ll fix your car when he’s done, Tori. He’ll call you.”

  Both women gave me quick side hugs before saying goodbye to Evan but I kept my eyes focused on the second coffee mug in front of me that was filling with dark liquid. I heard the front door shut and large arms wrapped around my middle from behind. I jumped slightly but felt my body immediately relax in his hold.

  “Victoria,” he murmured right before his lips pressed to the side of my throat. “You’re panicking again.”

  “We almost just got caught in bed,” I whispered and he chuckled, causing his skin to vibrate against mine. God, he smelled good, like clean male and sex.

  “We’re adults. It would have been okay.”

  I knew what he was saying was the truth but it still felt like I was doing something wrong. I don’t know if it was because I was having sex for the first time in forever or the fact that I was committing those acts with someone I’d hated forever.

  It didn’t matter in that moment, though. Evan’s lips and wandering hands had me feeling like a sex-crazed maniac. I abandoned the coffee I’d made and led him back upstairs, helping him rid us both of clothes as I did. When we got back to my bedroom, He laid on my bed, completely naked with the exception of a neon pink condom, and held his arms out to me.

  “Climb on top. I want to watch you ride me.”

  Images filtered through my brain without my permission, causing me to freeze.

  Me on top of Tristan, throwing my head back while my throaty cries sounded from the speakers. A room full of men watching me have sex with that man.

  My eyes swept around the room as I covered my naked body with my arms and I realized after a minute that I was looking for a camera.

  “Victoria.” Evan sat up and shook his head quickly. “Stay with me. We’re in this moment together. I’m not him and this is your bedroom, your safe space. You can trust me, you know that.”

  Slowly, I dropped the arm that was covering my breasts and let Evan link our fingers together. He tugged me gently until I was close enough that he could place a kiss against my bare stomach.

  “Lay down, sweetheart. Let me make you feel good.”

  The caring look on his face cut through my panic and I shook my head while pushing on his shoulders. “No. I want to do this.”

  He laid back and I slowly moved until my body was straddling his. His hands came up to cup my breasts and a soft moan escaped my lips when he pinched my nipples. I placed my palms on his bare chest and looked down into his blue eyes.

  “Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asked in a soft voice, quirking up his lips slightly as he did. “And it’s not just because I have the greatest view of your amazing body from down here. Your kick ass body, your gorgeous face, your strong, take-no-shit personality. You’re amazing, Victoria.”

  I leaned down and pressed my lips to his. Whether it was to get him to shut up or because I was overcome with emotion, I don’t know. His hands trailed up my back and I shifted my hips, using one of my hands to position him between my legs.

  The small bite of pain when I slid down on top of him was quickly erased by pleasure and I pulled my mouth from his so I could straighten up. His large hands went back to my breasts as I began to rock my hips. I watched his face as I moved and the pleasure that I saw across his features made me feel powerful. Confidence flooded my veins and I reached out to scratch my nails down his chest lightly.

  He let out a garbled moan that sounded like a curse and prayer. I lifted myself up off of him a bit higher with every movement and slammed back down. My body began to tremble and I knew the orgasm was going to be almost too powerful when it hit.

  One more lift of my hips and I was there, sent into a freefall that took over absolutely everything. I tipped my head back and squeezed my eyes shut, allowing the pleasure to consume me.

  I couldn’t keep moving anymore but when the pleasure started to wane, Evan’s hands were on my hips so he could thrust into me from below. I resumed my movements and his hands tightened on me painfully while his face tensed up in pleasure.

  He jerked below me twice and when he let out a long rush of air, I collapsed on top of him so we were chest-to-chest. His arms came around me and I pressed my face into his sweaty neck, enjoying the feeling of his fingertips trailing down my naked back.

  This had been what I was missing for all those years. Yeah, the orgasms were fantastic but the feeling of being in this moment with someone, both spent with pleasure and wrapped up in each other, this was what I’d wanted.

  The fact that I was sharing that moment with Evan Coleman? Well, that only made it better.

  And that thought was scary.

  –––

  I rushed into my father’s dining room that evening and pressed a kiss to my dad’s cheek while taking the casserole dish out of his hands.

  “Sorry, sorry. I fell asleep and just woke up.”

  “No need to be sorry. You’re just in time.” He smiled before turning to go back to the kitchen and I placed the delicious smelling dish on the table. Vincent walked into the room with the basket of rolls and I turned to smile at my brother. He immediately raised his eyebrows suspiciously.

  “Why are you so happy?”

  I
shrugged and dropped down into my chair. “I don’t know.”

  “Liar.” He took his own seat and shook his head. “You had sex last night.”

  Our father walked into the room just in time to hear his declaration and I threw a roll at my twin.

  “Vincent! Shut up!”

  Dad cleared his throat and took his spot at the head of the table. “Dish up, kids.”

  An awkward silence settled over the table as we all put food on our plates. It wasn’t until the first few bites had been consumed that Dad spoke.

  “What’s new this week?”

  Vincent shoved a bite of lasagna into his mouth and shrugged. “I put in my paperwork to transfer up here.”

  “You did?” Our father looked at him in surprise. “That’s unexpected. Why?”

  My brother ran a hand through his shaggy hair. “It’s time for a change. That new station has a hazmat team and I’d fit in there pretty well.”

  Happiness bubbled in my chest. “You’re going to move up here? That’d be amazing. Just don’t come to my station. We’d kill each other.”

  “You’re just worried I’d show you up,” Vincent replied, taking a pull from the beer in front of him with a grin. “It has to be hard being the little sister.”

  “Seven minutes, jerkface. That’s it.”

  “It’d be nice to have you close again.” Dad buttered the roll in his hand and smiled warmly at my brother. “Maybe you’ll find a woman to knock you on your ass, too.”

  I laughed softly and took a drink of my own beer. “I can’t wait to see that.”

  That was the wrong thing to say because my brother’s green eyes zeroed in on me and a small grin slowly spread across his face. I braced myself for whatever he was about to say.

  “Who were you doing the horizontal nasty with, Vic?”

  “Oh, my god, shut up!” I kicked him under the table, catching his shin and causing him to let out a sharp yelp. “You can’t say shit like that in front of Dad!”

  My father chuckled and wiped his face with a napkin before settling his warm brown eyes on me. “I’m not going to pretend like it’s my favorite topic but I’m also not stupid. Besides, I’d like grandchildren one day.”

  He laughed again when I moaned miserably. “I would like to know put that little extra sparkle into your complexion, though. Been a long time since I last saw that.”

  Sitting around the kitchen table discussing my sex life with my father and brother was not my idea of a perfect evening. Just the thought of Evan made my cheeks heat and I stared down at my plate.

  After we’d finally disentangled ourselves from each other earlier that morning, the two of us had gone back downstairs to consume the reheated coffee. Since I wasn’t lying about not having food in the house, I was able to offer him a rousing bowl of Chex cereal and then I kicked him out.

  I know it was mean but I needed a moment to breathe, a moment to think. Besides, Owens had texted to tell me he was picking me up so we could work on my SUV. When I tried to shove Evan out the door so I could take a shower, he caught my wrist and gave me a long, hot kiss that said a lot.

  “Take your space, Victoria, but don’t start to panic again, okay?” he told me as he pulled away and kissed my nose sweetly. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

  I closed the door behind him and stood with my back against it for several long minutes. When I realized that I was grinning like an absolute fool, I quickly snapped out of it. It didn’t take long before I was doing exactly what Evan told me not to do- I was panicking.

  I slept with Tristan Dunsworth’s brother. What the hell had I been thinking? I let him into my house, into my bed, and the worst part was that I liked him. I didn’t just like the way he gave me orgasms, either. I liked the way he made me smile, the way he made me feel like my old self, the way he was easy to open up to.

  What a mess.

  “No way.” Vincent’s loud voice brought me out of my reminiscing and when I looked up to meet his gaze, I knew that he’d figured out exactly who I’d slept with.

  “The detective, huh?” He laughed softly and I was honestly surprised. With how he reacted when I first told him about Evan Coleman’s reappearance in my life, I expected Vincent to be angry or go into overprotective mode. His lack of anger made me kind of suspicious.

  “The detective?” Dad looked confused for a second before he realized what Vincent was saying. The anger I’d been expecting from my brother showed up on my father. “You mean you spent the night with Dunsworth’s brother? Victoria Rose Jones! What were you thinking?”

  “I hate you, Vin,” I growled towards my brother before looking at my father. “He’s actually a really nice guy, Dad. I’ve spent a lot of time with him over the past month and he’s nothing like Tristan. In fact, he doesn’t even like Tristan.”

  My father opened his mouth to reply but Vincent chimed in before he could. “Trust her, Dad. She’s not going to get into anything without her eyes wide open.”

  “I just don’t want to see you get hurt a second time. And being hurt by the Dunsworth family again…” Dad trailed off and shook his head. “Just be careful, Vicky.”

  I was quiet for the rest of the meal while I thought about what my father said. What if Evan did hurt me? I wasn’t sure I could handle being broken like that again.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Evan

  Victoria was avoiding me.

  We already knew that she was going to miss practice that week because of her work schedule, so not seeing her that evening was expected. What wasn’t expected was the way she was avoiding my text messages and phone calls. She was doing exactly what I told her not to do…

  Panicking.

  It was understandable but I couldn’t help if she didn’t let me in. And hell, I really wanted her to let me in. Being with Victoria was perfect. When she let her guard down, she transformed into a completely different person.

  After we’d had sex that morning, we laid in bed together just talking about the most random things. And then there was the sex… Naked Victoria had starred in my fantasies for a while but they were even better once I knew exactly what she looked like and how she felt.

  I was sitting at my desk well after the workday had ended on Friday, tapping my pen against the wood surface. We’d brought in the key players who were distributing at the high school and all but one of them had been happy to tell us how and where they got their supplies.

  We were working with that information, trying to flush out who Zero was. Another name thrown into the fray was Clay. Apparently he wasn’t as high up as Zero was but he was a key player, too.

  “That’s it. I’m calling it a night.” Dominic stood up from his desk and shook his head. “I need to refuel so my brain will work again. You should go home, too.”

  “I will,” I promised, barely pulling my eyes away from the file I had in my hands. “I’ll be by to get Gracie at ten. Go see your family.”

  He released a long sigh and started to walk away. “Don’t have to tell me twice. Night, Ev.”

  Another hour passed before I saved my work and stood from my desk. I headed out to my truck, waving at the night guard as I did.

  Knowing full well I didn’t have any food in my refrigerator at home, I headed towards the nearest Vons supermarket. I was dropping some lunchmeat into my cart when I looked up and caught sight of the woman that had done a really good job of hiding from me all week.

  She was wearing a pair of shorts that I’m sure weren’t meant to be sexy but with legs like hers, all shorts were. The black material fell about mid-thigh and she had some basic sneakers on her feet. The red t-shirt she was wearing looked like it was actually her size and her blonde hair was left down to where it almost touched her shoulders.

  She was so damn beautiful.

  With a handbasket in one hand, she was standing in front of the cheese and either lost in thought or examining them carefully. I pushed my cart forward until I was sta
nding next to her. She tensed for a moment but I saw her body visibly relax when I spoke.

  “Victoria.”

  Ever so slowly, she turned her head and settled those green eyes on me. “Coleman.”

  “You’ve been avoiding me.” I didn’t ask for permission before I reached out and took her free hand in mine. She looked down at our joined hands but didn’t protest. When she met my eyes again, she nodded.

  “I know.” She swallowed and squeezed my hand. “You scare me, Evan. After you left, all I could think about is all the ways you could hurt me and I just… I don’t know.”

  I took her handbasket out of her hands and placed it in my cart before wrapping one arm around her waist. I reached up to tuck some hair behind her ear and offered her a soft smile.

  “Yeah, I could and you could hurt me, sweetheart. But on the other side of that, we could do the opposite. We could bring each other a lot of joy, a lot of fun, and get away without ever hurting one another. Everything in life is a gamble but if you don’t play the game at all, there’s no chance you can win.”

  “Jesus. You sound like a greeting card,” she muttered, bringing her hands up to either side of my face. Without warning, her lips were against mine and we were kissing in the middle of the refrigerated section at the grocery store.

  I tightened the hold I had around her waist and buried my other hand into her hair. She moaned against my mouth and I was suddenly ready to take her against the display case. Someone cleared their throat behind us loudly and Victoria ripped herself away from me like I was on fire.

  An older man was standing behind us with an amused expression on his face. “I really didn’t want to bother you two, but I need a block of cheese.”

  I grinned at him and stepped back towards my cart, where Victoria was currently looking at the ground with a red face. I grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

  “Sorry about that.”

  “Oh, no need to apologize.” The man chuckled and nodded before grabbing the cheese he’d been after. “I remember those days well. Enjoy it, you two.”