A Sky for Us Alone

by Kristin Russell

  “Again!” Omie shouted, and bounced up and down on the hard metal saddle, one of those things that hurts when you’re older but you don’t notice when you’re a kid.

  “I got a better idea,” I said. “Let’s try that one over there.” I pointed at the Ferris wheel ten yards away, looming over us.

  “Whoa. It’s almost as tall as the roller coaster,” Tennessee said while we walked, looking up into its outline against the sky. Omie scooted closer to her while he stared up at it so he wouldn’t fall backward.

  “Tell me if this is too much for him,” I whispered to her. “Sorry if I jumped the gun.”

  “Unless he throws a fit, I say we do it,” she whispered back.

  A short man in a tall rainbow-striped top hat and suspenders measured Omie at the yardstick taped to the wall. Then he took our tickets and led us to the carriage. Once we had taken our seats, with Omie settled in the middle, the bar closed over our laps. When our carriage started to move, Omie clamped both of his hands over his eyes.

  “Omie, watch, you’ll want to see this!” Tennessee said, wrapping her arms around him.

  Omie shook his head, his fingers pressing deep into his skin, but then Tennessee whispered something in his ear that made him laugh hard, and by the time he realized what had happened, he was watching the ground fall away beneath us.

  When we got to the top of the ride, the wheel stopped and our carriage swung back and forth in the air. Tennessee reached across Omie for my hand. Both of our palms were a little sweaty, but Omie had lost all of his fear, straining to look out past me, then over at his sister.

  “Those people look like marbles down there.” Omie pointed to the ground below.

  Tennessee followed his finger with her eyes. “You’re right,” she said. “Just tiny balls of color rolling around and bumping into one another.”

  We swung a few more minutes in the still air and watched the motion on the ground. From that height, I could almost imagine the things of Strickland in the same way that Omie saw all the people down below us—so much smaller that they almost disappeared. Or maybe it was me that I imagined differently, outside of what happened to Nate, and away from the Praters, mines, Mama and Daddy. I knew it would take some time and a lot of work, but if the three of us had more days like this one, we could have a start at something really new.

  “That one’s a puppy.” Omie pointed to the clouds that were much closer to us than the ones we’d seen while fishing at Mohosh. They floated against a darkening lavender sky, the colors seeping through the white. It was the same sky I’d always seen from our valley, but right then, it looked like a whole different side of the coin.

  I jumped when the carriage jerked and swayed, and the wheel began its way back down. The thoughts I’d had at the top scattered as if they were only passing through me like the clouds. I gripped the crossbar, each inch closer to the ground bringing back the thoughts of Mama, Nate, and the growing agitation of Jacob’s silence.

  Before the ride could stop at the bottom, Omie shouted, “Again!”

  “What do you think?” Tennessee whispered to me.

  “It’s almost dark,” I said. “I don’t want to keep Mama Draughn waiting too long, especially not on our first trip here.”

  “You’re right. Not today, Omes,” Tennessee said. “We’ll be back soon, and the next time we’ll get on the Ferris wheel first, now that you aren’t afraid anymore.”

  “Okay.” He pulled a small plastic bunny from his pocket. “I take this to Mr. Draughn,” he said.

  “Where’d you get that?” I asked.

  “I shot a duck!” he said.

  “He really did, right on target,” Tennessee added. “Still not sure how I feel about it, even for pretend, with a fake gun.”

  Our carriage clanged to a stop and I let go of the bar. I couldn’t tell which was more real—the way I’d felt up there with the two of them, or the dread that was coming about going home, but I knew I needed something more often than a ride at a county fair to show me things could look a whole lot different from other places, depending from where you swung.

  Chapter 31

  AFTER I GOT US back to the Draughns’ cabin, I turned off the engine and went to open the truck door, but a strange feeling came over me as soon as I looked out the window. “Hang tight, everyone,” I said.

  Something wasn’t right. All the lights inside were still on, long past the time Mr. Draughn was usually asleep. My eyes followed the light across the porch and I saw the screen door had fallen off its hinge and was lying near the steps.

  “We home already?” Mama Draughn yawned, but sat up quick when she saw the state of her door. She caught my eyes with her silent alarm.

  Omie stretched his arms over his head, then fell against Tennessee again.

  “Y’all stay put. I’ll go check it out,” I said, looking around the truck for some kind of protection. There was a rusty hammer in the back and I grabbed it. Tennessee and Mama Draughn watched me closely, but were both careful not to say anything that might frighten Omie.

  After I shut the truck door quietly, I went up the stairs, and stepped over the fallen screen door. I didn’t see anyone through the windows, so I walked into the kitchen. The scent of the pies we’d sold still hung in the air, or maybe it was baked deep into Mama Draughn’s walls. There was the sound of someone walking out of the bedroom. I saw the shotgun first then Mr. Draughn behind it—one of his eyes bloody and swollen shut.

  “Wait!” I said, shielding my face with my arm. “It’s me, Harlowe.”

  He dropped the gun to the floor and stumbled toward me. “Is Darla here? Is she all right?”

  “She’s fine. What happened?”

  He didn’t answer, but shook his head and leaned against me, so I helped him to a chair and then ran to the door, motioning for everyone else to come inside.

  Mama Draughn was the first one in, and ran to her husband’s side. “Oh my Lord. Who did this to you?”

  “I’m okay,” he said. “Just glad you’re safe. I worried after all the things he said.” Mr. Draughn trembled and looked about the room, confused.

  “Tennessee, take Omie to the bedroom, now,” Mama D said.

  Tennessee held Omie’s head against her chest, trying to keep him from seeing or hearing too much. I couldn’t tell if he had fallen back asleep, or was just pretending to. The bedroom door shut behind them.

  “No Prater came near here, did they?” Mama Draughn asked as soon as the three of us were alone.

  “No, of course not. You know better than that. It was the children’s daddy. He came looking for them while y’all were gone.”

  “Bob Moore did this to you?” Mama Draughn asked. I wasn’t surprised after feeling the strength of his grip around my throat.

  “I’m sure it looks worse than it is. I’m fine. You know my eyes are already so bad, I don’t know he could have made them much worse.”

  “No. I won’t accept that for an instant,” Mama Draughn said. “That man can’t ever come back here, I’ll make certain of that.”

  “He said the same about his kids—don’t tell them that, though. They deserve something much better than him.”

  “Did you tell him where we’d gone?” Mama Draughn asked.

  “You think I’ve lost my mind along with my sight? I told him you were at church, and I hadn’t seen the children.”

  “Okay, good. But why’d he come looking for them here?”

  “Said someone told him the kids had been hanging around your kitchen.”

  “Who would tell him that?”

  “He didn’t mention. Just gave me this to make sure they don’t come back here again.” He pointed to his black eye.

  “I hate to say it, but nothing good will come of this.” Mama Draughn crossed her arms. “Harlowe, get me a wet rag, then tell them to come on out.” She sat beside Mr. Draughn and gently cleaned his face, rinsing the rag in the bowl of water I handed to her. By the time I came back with Tennessee and Omie, she’d a
lready emptied the bloody water in the sink, and Mr. Draughn held a fresh rag over his eye.

  “Did you have some fun at the fair, Omie?” Mr. Draughn smiled the best he could from under the cloth.

  “You knew!” Omie said. “I got ya something.” He pulled out the Bugs Bunny that he’d won.

  “Did I tell you I’ve been hoping for one of these?” Mr. Draughn asked.

  “Nope, but I thought so,” Omie answered.

  I doubted Mr. Draughn could even see what the thing was with half his poor eyesight gone, but he wrapped his fingers around it like it was as valuable as the gold nugget he found years ago in the creek.

  “Someone hurt you real bad?” Omie asked.

  “Yep,” Mr. Draughn said. “Mean old grizzly. I think I chased him off pretty good, though.”

  I wished it was true, but thought I saw something in Omie’s smile change, like maybe he knew more than any one of us wanted him to.

  “Come over here a minute, Tennessee and Harlowe,” Mama Draughn said from the stove. The two of them huddled together and whispered beside me, outside of Omie’s range. Tennessee covered her mouth with her hand while she listened to Mama Draughn. I took her other hand in mine and waited for anything she needed to say, but she only looked up at me and let the tears spill over her face.

  Mama Draughn scooted in front of us to block Omie’s view and Tennessee turned toward the sink to gather herself. “Your daddy don’t know where we were today, and I beg you not to tell him,” Mama Draughn said. “You know I want to help you two as much as I can, but this has all flown straight out of my hands. I can’t put Herbert or anyone else at risk again.”

  “You’re right, and I don’t want to put either of you in danger either.” Tennessee crossed her arms tight against her stomach and grimaced. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” she said. I moved my hand to the back of her neck and rubbed it lightly, wishing there was anything I could say to make her feel better.

  Omie peered around Mama Draughn and scooted close to Tennessee. “Why’s everyone sad faces? Tomorrow we go on wheel again?”

  Tennessee opened her mouth to answer but looked like she couldn’t think of what to say. Mama Draughn jumped in for her. “I’m sure we’ll all go back together sometime, sweetie, maybe not tomorrow. Right now, listen close to your sister and do whatever she says, because she knows how to take care of you better than anyone. And you take good care of her, too.”

  “Come over here a minute, Omes.” Tennessee took him to the table and they sat while she talked with him quietly. I knew she wouldn’t tell him everything that Moore had done, but just enough to explain why they wouldn’t be coming back to the Draughns’.

  “Listen,” I said to Mama Draughn. “I understand why we can’t use your kitchen anymore, but I don’t want to give up what we started. You were right in thinking it’d be good for us. I can bake at home, and maybe Tennessee could too—I’ll use Mama’s car for the next trip.”

  “I’m sure Aida would still have you, but I can’t—”

  “I know,” I told her. “You don’t have to.”

  “Whatever you do from here on out, I’d think about it carefully. My guess is he came here for you as much as anyone,” she said.

  “Next time you show me the gold?” Omie asked Mr. Draughn.

  “I’ll keep it safe for you, all right,” Mr. Draughn said.

  We walked over to join them at the door and Tennessee said to Mama Draughn, “I want to find some way to fix what he did here.”

  “But this isn’t yours to fix,” Mama D said.

  “You’ve made things better for us, and he ruined it,” Tennessee said.

  “We don’t know what’s around the bend,” Mama Draughn said. “He can’t take the things you hold in your heart, remember that.” She brought Tennessee into a hug.

  I waited until they let go of each other and then told Tennessee, “I won’t show up at your place unless you ask me to come. Just please don’t go silent on me.”

  “I won’t,” she said, and looked outside, through the broken door. “But it’s going to take some time to bring him back down after this.”

  I pulled her into my chest and wanted to kiss her goodbye, but knew she wouldn’t want that with Omie standing there, so I kissed her forehead instead.

  She took a deep breath before opening her eyes and then let go of my hands. When they walked down the stairs and onto Kinley Road, I wanted to jump in Mama Draughn’s truck again, pick them up, and go back to the Dickson fair, even though by now all the tents would be empty.

  Chapter 32

  “THIS SHOULD PAY FOR a new door.” I took the cash from my pocket and set it on the counter beside Mama Draughn.

  “No, no,” she said. “Put that away right now. It’s not yours to fix either, Harlowe, as hard as I know that is for you to hear.”

  “I’ll find some way to make it up to you,” I said.

  “All you need to do is go home and keep good watch over yourself and your mama. I bet she’s worried sick by now.”

  “There’s nothing that will keep her from that,” I said, “but I’ll get back to her.” I told them both goodbye, and began the walk home.

  Before I went inside our trailer, I stopped at Nate’s grave. What did you know about Woodvale and why’d you have to stick your nose in all of it? You could have told me, you know. If you were still here, we could figure it all out together.

  Inside the trailer, Mama paced with a cigarette in her hand. “Near scared me to death. I had no idea where you’d gone or that you weren’t coming back ’til now.”

  “I’m tired,” I said.

  “And you think I’m not? Tired of wondering where you run off to and if you’ll get yourself hurt. I’m not the only one who doesn’t like wondering all hours about my child. Mr. Moore came by here looking for his two.”

  “You told him about the Draughns, didn’t you?” All of the blood rushed from my head to my chest.

  “Only that you all were playing over there the other day. Woke up to you gone, and then him saying they were missing. I said it was my best guess, same as any other parent would have done had they been asked.”

  “But you know he’s not the same as anyone else. You know that!”

  “Alls I know is we were both worried over our children, and he said if you all were together, he’d bring you back to me.”

  “Well, he didn’t, did he? Instead, he beat Mr. Draughn bloody. That’s what he did with what you told him.”

  She dropped her eyes to the ground and then ashed her cigarette into the sink. “I’m sorry. I never thought . . . I just got scared, that’s all.” She inhaled again.

  “We’re all fucking scared. I’m scared all the time. Truth is, you’re usually too high to even know what you’re feeling. You’re just numb now.”

  She pointed her finger at me and opened her mouth, but then fell against the sink. I jumped toward her out of reflex to make sure she was okay.

  “I got it,” she said. “I’m not a cripple.” She pushed me away.

  “Fine, then. What do you need, Mama? Shine? More pills? Something even stronger?”

  She covered her face and her shoulders quavered with her sobs. I knew she wanted me to feel sorry for her, but this time I didn’t feel anything except rage. “You took away the one thing that makes me happy because you’re miserable. Does that make any sense to you? Do you want me to end up like you, Mama?”

  She fell against the counter again like I’d punched her in the gut and taken her breath away. Her face hid in the crook of her arm. When she steadied her breathing, she looked up at me. “Go to your room,” she said, her face blotchy and red and her hands quivering. “You might think I’m pathetic, but I’ll never be as cruel as you.”

  I stared at her, my teeth clenched tight to keep from screaming that if I was cruel, it was only because she, and everyone else, had made me that way. I wondered how many pills she would take that night, scared to find that I was jealous she had something that cou
ld make her forget.

  Chapter 33

  IN THE MORNING, AFTER finally giving up the idea of ever falling back asleep, I pulled on my jeans, grabbed my phone, and went straight outside to the shed. I felt a little bad for not looking more into it before then, but with Moore coming for Tennessee and Omie, and then the fair and what he’d done to Mr. Draughn, I just hadn’t had time to think of it.

  It was only when I reached for the padlock on the shed that I noticed it was missing, and then found it lying a few feet away. It was still locked, but had been cut clean through one side with a bolt cutter, it looked like. I opened the door slowly, scared that whoever had been there might still be inside. It was empty of people, but the contents were ten times messier than they had been the day I drug the fishing tackle out. I cleared torn bags of old clothes from a heap and sighed with relief when I found my saw buried underneath. Whoever had been there found no interest in it, even though most anyone would know it could fetch some decent cash, especially being new. I moved it outside, along with piles of things that could be tossed and were cluttering my way. Little by little, I pulled everything out—scraps of wood, toolboxes, Nate’s old card collections, and our tent. I made my way back to the corner where the boxes of shipping labels and stamps had been. I found one turned upside down with the labels spilled everywhere, and the other one with the Sharpies in the same shape. Underneath those I found a half-opened box that was much heavier than the others, and lifting one side, found stacks of smaller boxes tucked neatly inside. I couldn’t read the writing in that light, so I took the box outside.

  “What’s going on?” Mama yelled from the porch with her coffee.

  “Nothing you need worry about,” I answered without turning around. I couldn’t begin to explain any of it to her. It’d only make the time we had to spend together even more strained.

  Tearing back both flaps of the box, I set it on the ground and hunched over to get a better look. Pulling one of the smaller boxes out then sifting through the others, I found that all twelve held the same Nikon digital camera. What made it even stranger was that the print on each of the boxes was in Japanese. I looked back at the porch, but Mama had already gone inside.