A Sky for Us Alone

by Kristin Russell

  “Am I supposed to ask or something?” He reached inside the cooler.

  “Nope. Red, I need you to answer something for me, and if our friendship means anything, you’ll tell me the truth.”

  “Oh shit,” he said, and dropped the silly grin. He looked out over the water and waited, listening.

  “You know anything about Jacob or Nate you’re not telling me?”

  He shot a look back at me. “Nate? Don’t you mean Jacob and Ryan?”

  “Okay, start with that,” I said. “Start with anything you haven’t told me about.”

  “He’ll kill me,” Red said.

  “Not if Amos gets him first,” I said. “Tommy’s dead, and they think someone planted the shit that killed him. Jacob will be a likely guess, considering what happened at the party. Go on.”

  “What happened to Tommy?” Red asked.

  “I told you I don’t have time,” I said.

  “All right. But none of this came from me. He never said exactly, but I guessed he was up to something after he started spending so much time with Ryan. And there was the cash and trucks and tons of booze all of a sudden. Everything you saw at the party. After Nate’s funeral, when we dropped you at the Sip N Sak, he started acting really weird. Crying so hard he ran the wheeler off the road. He said something about how it was all his fault. I just thought he’d had too much to drink at the Crag, but then he took some pills out of his pocket and swallowed a couple. Right after that he stopped returning my calls, and then you saw what happened between Tommy and him,” he said.

  “Don’t know how I didn’t spot it then,” I said. “I remember now his eyes were really bloodshot, and he was acting like a dick.”

  “You were upset about Nate,” Red said. “And worried about the girl.”

  “He never said anything about Nate to you?”

  “No,” Red said. “You really think Nate knew anything about it?”

  “He knew something, for sure,” I said. “I just don’t know how much or why. I have to find Jacob before anyone else does, though.”

  “I don’t know where he is, if that’s what you’re asking next,” Red said.

  “I’ve got a hunch,” I said.

  “Don’t tell me,” Red said. “I don’t want to know anything else about it. I go to the mines in two days. Last thing I need is Amos thinking I know anything about what happened to Tommy.”

  “You’re right,” I said, and was glad I hadn’t said more. I stood up and put my backpack on again. “If you don’t mind, keep an eye out for Tennessee while I’m gone.”

  “I’ll do my best,” he said, “but after hearing her daddy talk the other night, I don’t think he leaves much room for anyone.”

  “That’s why I need you to pay attention for me,” I said. “Everybody’s on high alert because of Tommy, her daddy included.”

  He nodded and rolled a small rock around in his hand. “Harlowe?” he said after I’d turned to leave. “You’re the only friend I have left. Don’t do anything stupid.”

  “Same goes for you,” I said.

  Chapter 38

  I’LL MEET YOU IN the field by our holler, Tennessee texted when I asked if I could see her.

  I found a bit of shade under the old poplar tree with the tire swing that one of the Murray brothers rigged for some of us kids when I was five or six. The tire was coming off in pieces and could use replacing soon, but the rope was still strong. I sat on it halfway, walking my feet along the grass, and remembered when I was scared as a kid because it felt so high off the ground.

  “Hey,” I said, and stood up straight, dropping the rope when she surprised me from behind.

  “Don’t stop because I’m here,” she said, and tied her hair into a kind of tucked-up ponytail on the top of her head with a rubber band from her wrist. “Omie’s with Mrs. Hemlock for a minute.”

  “I was hoping,” I said. “There’s some stuff we need to talk about.”

  She sat down at the base of the tree, between two gnarled roots, and leaned against the trunk, pulling her knees up. “I’m listening,” she said when I sat down beside her.

  “I heard your dad and Amos talking the other night,” I said. “Has he said anything about leaving town?”

  She looked at me from the corners of her eyes, took a deep breath, and nodded slow. “He said there’s a miners conference. He’s leaving tomorrow.”

  “I don’t think that’s where he’s headed,” I said. “Amos said something about putting your dad on clinic runs. I guess that’s where the Praters get the pills they’re selling, except now with Tommy dead—”

  Tennessee crossed her legs and leaned over them, her head in her hands.

  “I know,” I said. “It’s all fucked up. I think Nate knew about it all. Jacob too. I’ve got to find Jacob and get it all straight.”

  “That seems dangerous,” she said. “Shouldn’t you wait until things die down a little after Tommy?”

  “I can’t. I’m sure they’re looking for him too. Nobody’s heard from him and no one can get ahold of him. Something might have already happened to him, I don’t know. But I have to try. I already know too much to not know everything there is. Listen, the only reason I’m telling you this is because when I get back, I think the three of us should leave.”

  Tennessee sat up straight and looked me square in the face. I tried to read her expression, but she kept it hidden. She was thinking, I saw that much in her eyes as they moved back and forth across my face.

  “We already know that we could make money with the pies,” I said. “And I can fix things for people while I’m still working on my furniture. We could find a school for you and Omie so you can finish.”

  “Where would we go?” she asked.

  “I don’t know, I haven’t gotten that far yet, but almost anywhere seems better than here. Things are only gonna get worse with your dad and Amos, I can feel it. No matter how I try, I can’t pull Mama out of her funk, and most of the time I think she might pull me under with her.”

  “Harlowe, wait,” she said, and put her hand on my knee so I would slow my words down. “I called my aunt yesterday, and told her about what Dad did to Mr. Draughn and that I’m worried he might hurt Omie or me. You know I’d never forgive myself if anything ever happened to Omie. I can’t pretend anymore that it’s not a possibility.”

  “I thought they weren’t speaking to you?”

  “They weren’t. Because of how he always treated my mom. But as soon as I admitted to Aunt Celeste that I’m afraid of him, she wanted to help. She runs a motel and I can make some money working there while I finish school. I have cousins who can help with Omie, too.” She pulled at the strings around a hole in my jeans that was wearing through. “They’re coming to pick us up in three days.”

  I swallowed and looked away before I said anything I might regret. “Were you going to tell me?” I asked, still trying to get my head around what she was saying.

  “Of course, I was already planning on it today. Then you texted first.”

  “Have you told Omie yet?”

  “No, because I don’t want him to accidentally slip and say something to Dad. It has to happen while he’s at the conference—or wherever.”

  “What if you hate it there?”

  “Then I’ll figure something else out, but I have to do what’s best for Omie, and I have to finish school.”

  “I understand that,” I said. “But you could do those things with me. Look, I won’t be gone long. I’ll be back Wednesday at the latest. Just don’t go anywhere until I’m back, okay? Can you promise me?”

  “As long as nothing else happens, I promise I won’t go until Celeste gets here on Thursday.”

  “And you’ll call me if anything happens. So I can get back to you.”

  “Yes, I promise you that.” She took my hand. “You really feel you’re sure enough about us to start over somewhere together?”

  “I know I am,” I said.

  “I won’t go unless you have
a plan.”

  “That’s fair enough.”

  “I’m only thinking about it for now. I’m not giving you a decision yet.”

  I leaned toward her on my knees and kissed her. “That’s okay,” I said, and then kissed her again. “I’ll take your ‘maybe’ over a ‘no.’ You better get back to Omie. I saw your dad up at the mines a few hours ago, and he sounded like he was delivering messages around here for Amos. No need to get him suspicious before he leaves tomorrow.”

  “Yep, you’re right,” she said. “Thanks for thinking about that.”

  “I’m looking out for you,” I said. “Both of you. Not because you wouldn’t do fine without me—I know you would. It’s just that I want to. And I really hope you’ll let me.” I stood up first and held my hand out to her. She took it, and while she pulled herself up, I dug my heels into the ground and held fast.

  It was always hard to end a kiss with Tennessee or say goodbye, but that time was especially awful. The thought of having to maybe say goodbye to her forever was so terrible that for a second I thought about not going. But I had her promise, and if I didn’t find out what happened with Nate before I left Strickland, I’d never be able to really leave it behind.

  Chapter 39

  AT THE SIP N Sak, I walked straight to the cooler, grabbed three bottles of water, then a handful of jerky sticks and several bags of peanuts.

  “Did you forget something?” Mrs. Devin asked when I dropped all of it onto the counter.

  “Nah, this is it. No beer for me today.”

  “Camping trip with no beer?” she asked, looking at my backpack.

  I was in no mood to answer her questions, and wished she’d just ring me up and let me go. “Something like that,” I answered.

  “You’re looking a little thin,” she said. “You sure you’re all right, Harlowe?”

  “It’s just too hot to eat most of the time, and I guess I haven’t had much appetite.”

  “You’ve still got to keep up your strength. This heat can’t last forever.”

  “I hope not, for all of our sakes,” I said.

  She reached for a paper bag.

  “You don’t need to do that,” I said. “I can put everything in my backpack.” I set it next to the register and opened it, making sure the box at the bottom was covered with my clothes.

  “Looks like you’re going away for a while,” she said, glancing inside and handing me the bottles.

  “Just a night. This thing doesn’t hold as much as it looks like,” I said, thinking again of what was in the bottom.

  “I’m throwing these in for free. Make sure you eat them before they melt.” She set two big Snickers bars on top of everything else in my bag.

  “Thank you,” I said, and felt bad that I’d gotten annoyed with her earlier.

  The pack hugged my shoulders and settled between the blades. The weight wasn’t too bad. It was the water that weighed the most, and that wasn’t something I could go without. I jumped over a ditch where the yellow boy ran thick as glue on my way to Mama Draughn’s.

  The screen door was back in its rightful place, but there was a tear in the mesh, a reminder of Moore’s visit that, even patched, would remain. Mr. Draughn was in his usual spot too and rocked a gentle rhythm, his bruised eye black around the edges, but at least open by now.

  “I’ll only keep her a few minutes this time,” I said, climbing the porch stairs.

  “You take however long you like, you know that.” He spat some tobacco juice off the side of the porch and wiped his chin. “How those children doing?”

  “Okay, but I wouldn’t mind if you listened a little more closely for them the next few days.”

  He nodded and shut his eyes, the tune starting in his throat by the time I reached for the door. I stopped and faced him once more. “Is Mama Draughn mad at me about what happened here?”

  “Oh, she’s plenty mad,” he said. “But it ain’t at you.”

  “Thanks.”

  Mama Draughn opened the door to let me know she’d been listening to us the whole time. “At least something good came out of all this trouble.” She nodded at the steady screen door. “It’ll take a little more mending, though.”

  “No squeak now, that’s good.”

  “How ’bout you? You back in working order?” She held the door until we were both through to the other side.

  “Depends on what you mean,” I said.

  “Set.” She pointed to the table. She must have said that word to me a thousand times since I was Omie’s age. And anyone else who ever said it would always remind me of her.

  She brought over a cherry pie and two glasses of tea, then settled into the chair across from me.

  “You still having trouble sleeping?” I looked at the other pies on the counter.

  “It’s the arthritis meds.” She rubbed her hands and looked at me. “Didn’t notice until this minute, but you’ve gone skinny and dark-eyed on me. I don’t like it one bit. Can barely see the sparks in those green eyes. We need those back straightaway.”

  “That might have to wait a spell.” I dipped my fork into the pie. It was the first thing I’d eaten all day other than the saltines.

  “So,” she said, settling into her chair and watching me eat. “I heard about Tommy, and I gather you did too.”

  “I’d say he had it coming, wouldn’t you?”

  “Harlowe Compton, I don’t like that kind of talk, especially not from you. That’s a human life that’s gone. If every sinner deserves to die, where do you think it stops?”

  I set my fork down. “I think a lot less people will die now that Tommy’s gone.”

  “I don’t think that’s the way the world works,” she said. “There will always be hurt people who hurt other people. It’s only when the pain becomes too great, or the grace is even greater, that people change. Maybe there’s still a chance for Amos. Losing his son might be the only thing that could break him open.”

  Her words felt like a betrayal. “How can you say that, knowing what the Praters did to Nate? Knowing how they’ve always gotten rid of anything that stood in their way?”

  “The longer I live, the more I understand that there’s very little that separates any of us from each other. Right now, your fire for the truth worries me. It will burn you alive if you don’t learn how to temper it.”

  I took a sip from my glass and thought about her words before I spoke. “If people were better about telling the truth, I wouldn’t have to go hunting for it.” I took a deep breath. “That’s why I came here. I need to borrow a gun. It’s only for protection, and I’m sure I won’t need it, but I’m going up the mountain to find Jacob, and I don’t know who else I might meet along the way. I’ve been thinking, and my best guess is that he’s at Ryan’s family’s cabin. Heard anything about that?”

  She pursed her lips down at her hands and then lifted her eyes to mine. “I’d say that’s a good guess. Wait right there,” she said, and walked to the bedroom. Her feet dragged a little over the creaking boards. She returned with something wrapped in a piece of burlap cloth. “You can take this,” she said. “I hope you don’t need it, but you’re right, I’d rather you have it in case. These too.” She passed me a box of bullets. “It’s loaded already, so take care. You know how to shoot, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, Nate taught me when I was eight. Is this Mr. Draughn’s? I don’t want to take his gun from him.”

  “No, love, it’s mine. You know that man can barely load a shotgun with those eyes. You think he could manage a revolver?”

  I unwrapped the gun, put it in the back of my jeans, and tightened my belt. The piece of burlap went in my backpack, over the food. “I’ll bring it back,” I said.

  “The only thing I care about you returning is yourself.”

  “I care about that too. Oh, one other thing if it’s not too much trouble. Well, two really. I need a plastic bag and something to dig a hole.”

  “You already done something that needs burying?”
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  “No, it’s not mine. Just—” I tried to think of a way to explain. “I don’t know who it belonged to, but I need to get rid of it. Safely.”

  She pushed herself out from the table and bent down to look under the sink. “Will this do?” She held up a trowel. “Or you need something bigger?”

  “I think that’ll work,” I said, and took it and then the black plastic bag she held out for me. I put them both in my pack, and then zipped it again. “I better get going. Thank you,” I said, and reached to give her a hug.

  “Just tell me one thing,” she said, her arms still around my middle. “Why do you need to know exactly what happened to Nate? What will it change?”

  I wasn’t sure how to answer her at first, and looked around the room while I thought about it, my eyes finally landing on the photos of June. Mama Draughn let go of the hug and I looked into her face. “Because I can’t know where I’m going without knowing who I’ve come from. Nate was showing me the way. I have to know the turns he took before I can find my own.”

  Mama Draughn snapped her eyes shut for a second and then nodded like she was listening to my words again in her head. “Well, I have to say, that makes a lot of sense to me. I trust you, Harlowe. I hope you do too.”

  After I said goodbye to Mama D and Mr. Draughn, I headed toward the ditch at the start of the trail where the yellow boy ran. It seemed like the best place to bury the box. I didn’t want to carry it any longer, and if I tossed it in the trash somewhere, it could end up spilling or getting into the wrong hands, or both. I wrapped it in the plastic bag and then dug a hole with the trowel Mama D gave me. Anyone from Strickland knew to stay away from the mine sludge and they wouldn’t go digging near it. I almost felt like I should put a caution sign by the fresh mound of dirt above the ditch, but I knew that could be as much an invitation to some as a deterrent to others. I got a bit of satisfaction from burying the shit that had buried Nate, but it wasn’t enough. There would always be more of it, and that wasn’t a battle I could take on by myself. But what I could do was find out how much Nate knew about it all and why it was important enough for him to risk everything.