Resented

by Amelia Rademaker

  Lawrence saw it written on her face. “If it makes you feel any better it probably wouldn’t make a difference.”

  She didn’t appreciate the lame attempt to cheer her up. “Why?”

  He pointed to the sleeping wolf. “She’s one of Ben’s Pack which means she was enchanted.”

  “Like Grace.”

  Lawrence cringed. “Yeah, like with your friend. I didn’t tell Grace to kill anyone though.” Lawrence stood up and dusted off his jeans. “If they’ve tagged one wolf, they’ve tagged more.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means we need to find that grimoire.”

  Ivy ran a shaking hand through her hair. She stared at the sleeping wolf. It had been such a close call. In such a public place. They weren’t scared. That terrified Ivy. “What if the journal is a dead end?”

  His jaw clenched. It made him look gaunt. “The Benandanti found out a way to ward their entire land not just homes. They had a technique that cast magic outwards. It didn’t require drawing ward lines but supposedly could protect huge territories. No one’s cast that type of ward since they left Italy.”

  Ivy thought about the ward last night. She wondered if the ward line had stopped the magic from spreading throughout Black Bird.

  “You want to ward the Salici out of the territory?” Ivy guessed.

  “I don’t know, but we need to protect a big area,” Lawrence said. “I don’t know how to do that and the last person to cast a spell like that was Caterina Genetti. I don’t have any other alternatives. We need the grimoire.”

  Ivy felt her heart start to pound. Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes. She felt hopeless. There was no way her luck would change all of a sudden.

  “Hey,” Lawrence whispered. Ivy looked up. He held out the necklace. “It’s not a protection spell or anything but it will freeze like ice if it senses Salici magic.” He gave it a shake. “I think you might need it more than me right now.”

  Ivy’s hand trembled as she took the chain. She didn’t want to touch the lapis. She was too freaked out.

  “Ivy,” Lawrence hesitated. He looked uncomfortable. He wasn’t looking her in her eyes anymore. “Sorry about the whole blackmail thing,” he lifted his phone. “It’s really important that the Salici Sacri don’t get that grimoire but I wouldn’t have released the videos. I’ll delete them, watch.” He opened his cloud storage and deleted a folder labeled “Ivy Stevens”. A notice popped up that read “These items will be deleted from all of your devices”. Lawrence deleted them. He waited until it had erased before he emptied his trash can. “Thanks for still helping.”

  She was glad he had deleted the videos. Ivy didn’t let him off the hook though. “I’m helping because these people are psychos and I don’t want anyone else getting hurt.”

  “I’m grateful either way.” He cleared his throat. “Use the amulet. Call me any time, day or night, if anything happens. I don’t care if you think you’re being paranoid. Better safe than sorry.”

  “I don’t have your number,” she protested.

  “I put it in your phone that first night.” Ivy’s eyes bugged out of her head. Lawrence ignored her. “I have a lead about a permanent solution I’m going to check out but that grimoire is our number one priority.” Lawrence thought about something for a second, then added, “Stay safe.”

  He didn’t move until Ivy nodded. He gave her a once over before he walked behind a set of curtains.

  Ivy rushed after him. She threw back the curtains. He was gone.

  Ivy felt her body droop. That man was a tornado.

  She held the lapis up to her face. The stone was pure electric blue. Ivy put it around her neck.

  She looked around the hall for hand sanitizer. She started lathering her entire body with it. She even ran a wet hand through her hair. Ivy wasn’t sure if wolves could smell magic but Lawrence had put his hands all over her. There was no way she was going to broadcast Lawrence McDowell’s scent at the hospital.

  Ivy glanced at the wolf, still sleeping on the floor. She wasn’t sure what she should do about her. In the end, Ivy grabbed a few sets of sheets from one of the cabinets and tied her up. Hopefully, that would slow her down if she woke up.

  Ivy slid out of the automatic doors she had entered, fifteen minutes ago. A nurse walked right past her without saying a word. She waited until the woman had turned a corner before she relaxed.

  No one said anything as she walked the halls. A woman hissed at her when she walked into the bathroom. It felt almost normal. Thankfully, she was able to find the gift shop and pick up some snacks.

  Grace and Anne were still talking Betsy’s ear off when Ivy got back. They didn’t say anything about how long she had been gone. Mrs. Robbins thanked her when Ivy gave her a water bottle.

  Paul stared at her chest. Right where the pendent rested under her shirt. She smiled and nodded as she half listened to the conversation going on around her. It was getting harder and harder to act normal the longer Paul stared.

  Ivy pretended to stretch her neck. She double checked her blouse. She had buttoned it high so no one would be able to see the chain. The front of the top was billowy enough that she doubted Paul could see the amulet.

  He kept staring.

  It was making her skin itch. She resisted the urge to rub her chest. His intense look made her shiver.

  Ivy barely kept herself from physically rearing back. Paul wasn’t making her skin crawl. The amulet was.

  Lawrence had described the feeling completely wrong. The lapis wasn’t cold, it was pumping her full of adrenaline. Her skin prickled where the stone touched her. Goosebumps spread out to her limbs. It made her body shiver.

  The feeling was unnatural. She did not like it.

  Ivy walked further into the room, towards her friends. Her panicked brain said that they would keep her safe. Even from Paul.

  The closer she got to the hospital bed, the harder the lapis pulsed against her chest. She was three feet away from Grace and Betsy when she broke out in a cold sweat. She stopped.

  “Uh,” her voice cut out before Ivy could say anything.

  Grace looked at her, waiting for Ivy to say something. Too bad she couldn’t.

  Thankfully, Anne came to the rescue. “Ivy’s too nice to tell me to stop bugging you and get back to work.” Anne winked at Ivy.

  She forced herself to take a small step back. The icy sweat dried instantly. She rolled her eyes, praying that Anne wouldn’t notice how weird she was acting. “Yeah, right, you’re the original workaholic. You’ve checked your phone four times since I came back.” Hopefully, no one could hear the tremble in her voice.

  She must have done a decent acting job because all of the women started laughing. Betsy jumped right into giving Anne shit. Ivy ignored Paul.

  The amulet was warning her. She looked around the room. She knew Betsy, Grace, and Anne. She couldn’t see any of them working for an ancient witch cult who was planning on burning Black Bird to the ground.

  The amulet pulsed against her skin raising her heartrate. They would go on the bottom of the suspect list.

  Mrs. Robbins was a new variable though. Sure, she seemed like a kind, mother type but who knew? Paul hated her. She could totally see him being a threat.

  Anne started putting her coat back on. Ivy tried not to look eager to leave.

  “I’m going to stay for a little longer,” Grace said when she didn’t get up.

  She set her goodie bag on a chair near the door. Ivy waved at Betsy not wanting to get closer to the bed. “I hope you get better soon. Text me if you need a trashy gossip magazine or something.”

  Ivy followed Anne to the car. Unlike before, people pretended to ignore her now that Anne was at her side. Ivy was grateful. She was having a hard-enough time keeping her shit together without having to deal with angry shifters.

  The amulet pulsed weakly when they hit the parking lot. Ivy whipped her head around but there were so many people that she couldn’t pin point any
thing. Her anxiety ratcheted higher.

  “Everything alright there, crazy face?” Anne asked jokingly.

  Ivy realized that people were staring at her. She pointed her head forward and tried to act normal. The amulet died down as they got further away from the hospital.

  “Hospitals give me the creeps,” she pretended to shiver.

  Anne have her a look that told her that Anne wasn’t buying it. “I thought you were making sure Paul wasn’t following us.”

  Ivy gasped. “So, I’m not going crazy. Paul really does hate me.” Not that Ivy doubted herself but it felt good that Anne had noticed.

  “Oh no, Paul hates your guts,” Anne confirmed.

  “What happened?”

  Anne fidgeted with her keys, “It’s not entirely about you.”

  “It sure feels that way.” Ivy muttered.

  They stood outside Anne’s car. Neither of them moved to get in.

  “Ezra and Ezekiel get on Paul’s nerves,” Anne explained.

  She groaned, wrenching the door open. “How do those two have anything to do with me?”

  Anne got in and turned the car on. “They’ve uh,” she coughed, “gotten closer to you lately. They’ve spoken up for you at Pack council meetings. You can’t say they don’t have anything to do with you.” Ivy didn’t know that they had spoken up for her at Pack council meetings. “Now that things are getting tense, Paul is acting like an idiot. Testosterone makes wolves act like idiots. Someone will beat some sense into him and everything will go back to normal.”

  Ivy doubted that Paul’s attitude change could be cured with an ass kicking.

  “Hey, how about I drop you off at your apartment. You look like shit and it’s not like I’m going to need you around the shop today.”

  Anne was right. They were pretty busy but they weren’t moving a lot of large stock these days. They could barely get people to look at clothing. On the other hand, they could barely keep those stone necklaces in stock. Luckily, Anne had managed to order more.

  “The boys told me to go to the hospital and back to Chic Chick. I don’t really want to get chewed out for not following orders.” Ivy didn’t really give a damn about following orders. She was more worried about Lawrence McDowell and his ominous warning. She really didn’t want to be away from the twins for very long.

  Anne tossed her phone at her. “They leave you locked in your apartment alone every night. It’s safe enough then, it’s safe enough now. They won’t mind. Send them a text. Let them know that you’ll be behind locked doors in your apartment.” Anne said.

  Anne didn’t have to twist her arm very hard. Public was the last place Ivy wanted to be. She stroked her purse. The diary was tucked inside a scarf in her purse. If she were at her apartment, she could translate uninterrupted.

  In the end she shot Ezekiel a text.

  Chapter Fifteen

  If Black Bird had taught Ivy anything, it was that home could be four blank walls. Once the ward closed behind her, she relaxed. The apartment was almost completely bare, but she was grateful for it.

  Ivy kicked off her shoes and headed to her room. Nearly being eaten by a wolf had changed things. Drastically. She believed Lawrence. That alone seemed insane. It also seemed crazy that an ancient Coven had managed enchant a member of the Black Bird Pack. She had the scrapes to prove that it.

  If the Salici Sacri were really gunning for Black Bird then Lawrence was right, they needed all of the help they could get. She was determined, more than ever, to find that damn grimoire. Which meant translating Caterina’s diary.

  Ivy sat on her bed and pulled out the journal. She grabbed her notebook full of scribbled translations. There were dozens of sticky notes with descriptions, notes, and comments on them. Most of them were only half thoughts.

  She had nothing to show for the hours she had spent pouring over the diary. Now, there were only a dozen entries left and Ivy was worried she wasn’t going to find any information that would lead to the grimoire.

  She flipped through the thin, brittle pages. Entries started to drop off the longer Caterina and David fled. Weeks went missing. Seasons changed; landscapes transformed. Ivy lost precious information in those gaps. It was confusing and frustrating.

  She went back to her notes, then reread what she had just translated. She wasn’t confused. The journal was missing a lot of entries. Sometime between the last page, winter had come in full force. She went back to translating.

  Caterina and David were not prepared for winter. Their supplies were almost gone. One of their horses broke its leg in a snow drift. They had to butcher it for meat. The outlook was bleak.

  Caterina was worried. The mountain passages were unpassable. Food was scarce. Above all else, they were slowing down. They were as good as caught.

  Ivy rubbed her eyes. They felt gritty. She knew that meant that a few hours had passed. She couldn’t force herself to get up though. She had to finish it.

  Something was closing in. The entries were getting shorter, more frantic. Caterina never said what was chasing them but Ivy recognized the feeling coming off the pages. They were being hunted.

  The feeling of being hunted was fresh in Ivy’s mind. That panicky feeling of needing escape. Caterina’s sparse words captured that frantic drive to run and hide. Her shaky handwriting pricked Ivy’s anxiety.

  The pen slipped, smudging the last word Ivy wrote. “Shit.”

  She gripped the pen so tightly her muscles cramped. Ivy tried to let go but her fingers seized. Her knuckles locked around the pen, snapping it in half. Pain shot Ivy’s heartrate through the roof. Blood started to pour between her clenched fingers.

  Black spots danced before her eyes. Her heart pounded. She was freezing cold. Her breaths were coming in short pants.

  She was having a panic attack. The thought floated away. She inhaled deeply, desperate to catch her breath. Her vision dimmed. Her chest expanded, her eyes rolled backs in her head, and she blacked out.

  The air hurt. She couldn’t draw a full breath because it froze her lungs. Her cheeks burned. She could taste blood.

  She kept running.

  The forest was pitch black. Trees raced past her. There were patches of white snow on the ground she was desperately trying to avoid. She couldn’t trip.

  Her foot caught on a mass of ferns. She grabbed onto a tree trunk, scraping her palm. She shoved against the tree, propelling herself forward. She stumbled on, desperate to keep moving.

  Can’t slow down. Can’t stop. They were right behind her. She needed to finish this.

  Her knees went weak. Her body was quitting. She hadn’t eaten a proper meal in weeks. They had been running for longer than that. She physically couldn’t keep going.

  All for naught she sobbed.

  She careened into an opening. The forest just stopped. The white clouds overhead nearly blinded her. She was running too fast to stop.

  The earth dropped out from under her. She screamed, her body dropping down a ravine. She felt rocks slam into her body. Her head crashed into something. Plants and trees caught her clothes as she fell. Her voice cut off when she hit a stump.

  For a moment nothing happened. She felt her breaths coming in jagged wheezes. She blinked but couldn’t see anything. Her head spun.

  She could feel cold wetness freezing her skin. There was a patch of snow at the bottom of the ravine. It was soaking her thin cloths. Fuzzy lights flashed above her.

  Determined to keep going, she staggered onto her hands. She managed to get onto her hands and knees, only to vomited onto herself. She breathed through her nose, desperate for her head to stop throbbing.

  A noise kept repeating over and over again. It rang in her head. She grimaced trying to clear her head.

  When it came again, she recognized it. A howl. A desperate, painfilled cry. David.

  He howled again.

  She tipped her head back and howled. The animalistic sound coming out of her human throat was cathartic. It was a cherished noise. She had
always loved singing with her mate. Even now, it brought some comfort.

  She poured all of her soul into her voice. Her heart felt so broken. Life had turned out so different than she had wanted it to. She had wanted to raise their family together. She hadn’t wanted to leave their daughter with the Cascade Pack. There were a million dreams she had imagined for them. None of them would come true.

  What time they had together had been filled with love. She loved their family. She loved him. There were a lot of regrets in that moment but she was so grateful that they had lived a life full of love.

  She poured her love into the night. Until her dying breath she would sing her love for him. They had been blessed to find each other.

  David answered her in perfect harmony. His regret and guilt reverberated in her chest. Twined around it was his confidence that they would continue on together.

  Invigorated, she thrust her hands into the earth between her knees. It was frozen solid. It didn’t matter, she started to dig anyways. Her nails broke and bled as her dug. She felt the magic in her blood begin to heat. She kept digging.

  There wasn’t time to perform a proper rite. Her heart pinched at the offense. The Mother deserved more respect than that.

  Nothing could be done for it. There was no one else to help perform a proper rite anyways. There was only one offering to give. She closed her eyes, still digging. It was the only offering she had.

  Breathing through the pain, she tried to find center. It was past her weakly beating heart. Hidden deep inside she felt the nodo nel sol cuóre. It was weak. There was so little magic to draw on.

  She sagged as she felt it. Il cuóri annodáto. The power that tied her to her family, her magic. Its fragile warmth was as comforting as being home. It had been a guiding light her entire life. It was the most familiar presence in her life.

  She had avoided calling upon her Coven’s cuóri annodáto. Its powers called to the Salici Sacri. Losing its guidance in her life, even temporarily, had been a great sacrifice. It had been worth it though. It had kept her daughter safe.