My Bet Is You

by Manuela Ricci

  Lex, which is free as the delivers a punch to the abdomen. Interception Blaze, if is giving the Holy quite right with Scottie.

  "There they are," I point out to Carrie, in an automatic gesture to draw to myself holding it against my side.

  "What the fuck you doing brother?" I take Blaze under the arms, he is fitting my with her, and I press with your palms against the back of his head because the stops moving.

  "Leave me, leave me alone!" Yells, trying to wriggle out of the socket. Scottie, dries with the back of hand rivulets of blood flowing from the corner of the mouth.

  "Calm down, or I'll step on a punch in the face." Yanked Balze, who finally seems to listen. "Calm down everyone!" The sound of my voice echoes in a roar in the parking lot, the panting breaths, fill the surrounding space.

  "Scottie, what the heck are you doing?" I see whiten his face, his blue eyes shell as if you were going to chip away at the wheel and his head almost in slow motion toward Carrie.

  "What the fuck are you doing here?" Yells. The approaches, from head to foot, I know he's watching my clothes that cover her body.

  "I'll purposes?" He yells in his face pointing a finger at me, "I'll purposes, is that it?"

  Carrie winces, as if they had just thrown him a bucket of ice water, and for the first time I see her paralyzed at the sound of the words of his brother. "Stop Murphy, it's not what you think," I intervene, letting go of Blaze, and putting hard-nosed against him.

  "Oh, no? Then explain why it has a fucking t-shirt that bears your name on it dirty? "Spits, reducing his eyes to slits, breath smell of alcohol, as always, when Scottie Murphy decides to set foot on the premises.

  "None of your business ..." scocco look at Carrie, who is now behind her, I can not tell anyone that the girl who danced attached to the pole she was, "... but it is not what you think, between me Carrie and there's nothing. "

  Despite the truth, pronouncing loudly is like being stretched ten Lineamen all together. Bursts into laughter, she bends in two holding his stomach.

  "Of course, that does not JJ slams the latest addition to UCLA, now that's beautiful," mumbles, then turned a glance over his shoulder toward her sister.

  "And you, you will do fuck him Carrie? At least with him you will not humiliate you? "

  Furrowed his confused face, the heart starts pumping at a relentless pace, when I see Carrie shrugged, wrapping her arms around his body as if he were trying to hold together the pieces of herself. "Scottie can not say it seriously," she murmurs in a whisper that shall break it as the words he has just said.

  Another laugh slices through the air, and I can not see.

  "I can not? You've been a Carrie ruin our ruin. "

  Soldiers are on him, hands close into fists on his

  Polo and forcefully slam him against my chest.

  "You filthy piece of shit!" Try to hit me, but how to raise the elbow, I only see Carrie fall to the ground in a dull thud that vested in me from head to foot.

  13

  THE TRUTH CAN crush

  Carrie

  I just feel the cold ground on which asphalt rush, the metallic taste of blood slides into my mouth, I only have to touch me time to see him get my hands dirty. I look up to Scottie, I still can not believe that he actually said that I was only a ruin.

  Silence hangs in the parking lots of the back of Molly's, the blue of the Logan gaze crashed against mine, in such a powerful way that a shiver runs through my body from head to toe. With a push, shakes off my brother to join me, leans over to my side, I still try to put together the pieces of what just happened.

  I wanted to know always what he thought, what he felt for what I had to face, we faced. I am aware that "my

  problem"It was no longer just mine, all in some way it had been involved. That day was like a swollen river breaking its banks, we were sucked and dragged into something that we never expected.

  "Are you okay?" The Logan's hands are on my face, his eyes are roving worried about me, the warmth of his skin against mine gives me a feeling that I would never try, can paralyze me, has to stop the move each single muscle in my body, I do not want to feel this way, I can not afford it, do not know who I am, what I did not know the weight of a truth that can crush you.

  "Carrie ... Fuck Carrie, I'm sorry," mutters Scottie, trying to get closer, Blaze immediately makes a shot at him, Logan turns over his shoulder, I can not see his face, but you just feel like you tend your muscles to realize the anger that is flowing right now in his veins.

  "If you take another step, Murphy swear that this league you play it sitting in a wheelchair."

  I have to take control of the situation before it is too late. I pulled back from the touch of Logan turns into a jerk to me. I stand up, and even though I still feel dazed for the elbow that I have taken, I must get out of here, now, before Scottie can add more.

  "I'm fine, I did not do it on purpose." I settle the shirt that hangs down to his shoulder, overcome Logan and go to my brother.

  "Maybe you'll walk you home."

  I know he has been drinking, the alcohol exhales through his nose almost drunk, I curl my mouth disgusted because I've seen it before in high spirits, but never, in one of those times had completely lost control of himself.

  "I'll let you go with him!" The voice of Logan thunders behind me, it's like if clung to that part of me that would turn and would face, trying to know what is behind the most coveted face and known all of UCLA, but I never let emotions overcome.

  They were they to make me feel the weight of shame, to break me down only to find herself the strength to look forward and never look back.

  I know that if I did somehow I would be lost. In my past there is a part of my future with which one day will find me to confront. I do not know when or how it will happen, but I know it will happen and I can not drag anyone with me.

  I turn to him, the contracted jaw delineates perfectly the sharp angles of his profile, even under that hint of a beard that just darkens the color of his skin, frowning, showing two deep lines that reflect his utter confusion, but the color of his eyes, is to get my attention.

  The color of his eyes as silent as two water currents that collide with one another, the shades are mixed in those irises, the same color that I saw for the first time at the beach, when I judged despite not knowing him. I do not know what is behind that blue so deep that want me to suck, but I know I have to take a step back, to put a wall that separates us.

  "It's okay, it's my brother Logan. Back at home, I'm serious. "Blaze joins him, they are now creating a human wall, the boys scatter, and fellow Scottie team are on our side, putting behind us, Lex, Gus and others remain behind Logan.

  "I'm fine," I repeat, entering for the first time in his gaze, because can understand the sincerity of my words, even if I'm lying, for me has become so easy to do, you just hope that he does not notice.

  "If you go back in our area we will break your legs!"

  Lex, followed by twin, takes a step forward, crossing his arms over his chest flicking the muscle mountain. I know that is not joking, his gaze touches me as if I cared Stratta to him, is a vice that manages to snatch a breath that will not give me any more.

  Scottie raises his hands in surrender, even if it continues to defy showing a grin that imprisons his mouth. I push him away, away one step at a time, until it reaches its little car parked far down the road.

  "I'll drive!" I open my palm, looking at me sideways, before plunging his hand into his pocket and mollarmi the keys to his Dodge Muscle Classic Black Double vented hood-mounted. I think it's the third car that changes in two years, and I wonder how much fruit actually play as a quarterback. I start driving, he sinks into the passenger seat, with the head tilted back and knees apart that touch the dashboard, for its height.

  "Carrie ..." tries to say. Pesto the palm of your hand on the wheel, feel the eyes tingle, burn me, the way I want to scream, and to plow my face from these fucking tears, but I do not, no, the regrowth back wi
th the same arrogance with which They were injected into my eyes. "I will not listen to you, okay?" I turn in a shot at him, I cling with hands clenched around the steering wheel black leather.

  "You know, I thought you'd be on my side, which I did not say anything because it hurt to talk to you, but now I understand why you never said anything!"

  I take the key in bussolotto, the roar of the engine affects the air in a loud roar, the clutch gear and head for the student of the USC.

  "I've had a bang ... I ... I fucking did not mean what I said." In passing, I see strattonarsi hats, stepping on both hands on the faded fabric of his jeans, but do not believe him, and if before I felt alone now I feel totally lost. Chamfer the Santa Monica Fwy, exit for McClintock Ave that runs alongside the football field at the University of belonging Cromwell. In these twenty minutes away, I let only my breaths colmassero silence, played behind USC, where several buildings stand out on the neighborhood. "Can we talk now?" Parking place, under his mansion, lined with red brick that covers the entire facade.

  "Not now, I can not," I admit more to myself than to him. Off the car followed by the sound of his car door slamming. He grabs me by the arm as soon as they are next, it is my brother, we grew up together, yet it is as if at this moment I colliding them with a stranger. I do not see the familiar warmth in his eyes, I feel his sure touch and protective as before.

  "I have. That said. There. Now! "I say again, yanking his grip, laughing makes both turning over his shoulder.

  "I can not believe, that is the mesh JJ" Bettany, almost triumphantly advancing towards us, then clawing her nails painted scarlet bicep Scottie.

  "It's an hour waiting for you," squeaks, moving closer toward his neck, on which rubs without any hesitation the tip of his nose, letting it slide along its length. Bile pops into my throat, when I realize the only reason Bettany Clark can be here.

  "Seriously you?", I ask him angry. My brother shrugs, as if my question him slip entirely on him.

  "Poor Carrie, you may not be jealous of your brother? Then, it seems to me that in the end, you've got exactly what you wanted, rather, should I say, what I wanted Logan. You know, it's a ritual, all freshmen go to his bed, you should feel privileged, usually no fishing in the shallows. "

  I'm disgusted by her, but my brother does not emit a breath, let this bitch ridicule me from head to foot only for a fuck.

  "You too, I see you're fishing in the shallows, when Logan did you become transparent." I think I hit her so hard with my words, which wobbles slightly, before finding his balance and go straight on me, Scottie It encircles the waist attirandosela him.

  "Be careful Murphy, you do not know against who you're putting!" I straighten the daring her back, I'm not afraid of her, not after what I've been through, if they are not drowned in the past, nothing will do it now.

  "You know Bettany, perhaps I know exactly who I'm against putting me against a dingy which is capable of taking two whole football teams. They should give you a prize, it can not be easy to spread her legs so many times. "

  Take forward with hands outstretched towards me, Scottie squeezes her around the waist holding it. I laugh bitterly in front of the image that is projected in front of my eyes.

  "I thought you might be interested Tia again, but you have not changed Scottie. I see that you continue to take the waste of others. "The thought of her and Logan and pounding like a nail in my head that causes me a pang of oppression at chest height, cast away everything, as if on a pile of dust would blow floating in the sky dispersed in the air.

  "Now you're exaggerating, Tia and leaves out of this."

  He did not even answer, I went toward the bus stop at the end of the road, I do not know if they pass at this time, but I do not care if I had to walk up the Hill. I think if incominciassi to run, I would not be able to stop, the heart pumps sucking chest in my every breath.

  "Where are you going now?" Shouts behind me.

  "Hell," I say and show the middle finger, I feel myself sinking at every step, like you're walking into quicksand, ready to make me a prisoner forever.

  "Shit, are also no phone," I say, anything at a Los Angeles-shrouded night. The board of the bus schedule tells me that you do not pass one for the next four hours, I start walking without thinking. The whole evening will catapult in the head as if to explode: Molly's, Logan's eyes, his tree house, but above all his pain in his temples to throb. The loss that marked his life, seems to fit perfectly with the scars of my.

  I know that pain, the feeling of emptiness that can not fill, even if you try with all your might. When his breath mingled with mine, when his lips, full, were just a few centimeters from mine, I was going to lose control. It was too long a guy approached not so much to me, to the point that I give in my legs. The reality of my city has taken away everything, even the desire to simply be Carrie. I wandered for

  small streets, where the eyes penetrated my skin like many small pins, my name passed from mouth to mouth, and part of me was lost every day.

  Through the University Park, cutting along the avenue until you reach the outskirts of Westwood. I love this city, it's like I reset my life as a stopwatch, to share with a second that would represent a new beginning.

  The words of Scottie rapid whirling in the head, and for a moment I find myself stopped trembling in front of the student front door. The body is shaken as if someone had grabbed me by the shoulders and was pulling at me, I come crossed by memories I have desperately tried to cancel, but I'm still here, crisp and clear to crowd my mind is too tired to keep thinking .

  I exhale all the air in my body, lightening the weight of the truth that seeks to crush me, for the second time this evening.

  Sound the number of my room and Tia. I hope there is. "Carrie are you?", He asked through the intercom.

  I wish I knew even if I'm still myself, if a part of me survived. I give a start from the thoughts and answer yes, the lock is released and as I close the door behind me fall on my knees, I'll take a few moments to compose myself, to put everything in its place wearing I wear mask when my life to Stanley it was destroyed.

  Arranco down the three flights of stairs, imagining what I can invent as an explanation for wearing the clothing of Logan.

  Tia waiting for me on the landing, in his eyes, and the way it comes to me seems they already know, and as soon as I have confirmation Blaze appears behind her. It presses against the cheekbone an ice pack.

  "How are you?" I shrug before you cross it. "I think well, why should not I?" My sarcasm does not like, his hand closes around my wrist blocking my steps.

  "Carrie," pleads my name. "Tia, I'm fine, I just need to sleep, okay?" I stare over his shoulder, and when he leaves me free, sling me straight to the bathroom for a shower. I slam the door behind me, I deprive myself of stuff Logan, and although not wear it anymore, I can still smell the scent of those tattooed on the skin clothing. Cold water flows through my body, making me hold my breath, as if you were swimming against the tide in the ocean of my life.

  When I go out, I still find Blaze.

  "Why the hell have you beaten?" Almost I scream, but I need to know what happened.

  "Your brother did the jerk, and believe me, Carrie, is not the first time." His nostrils dilate, rattles off those words through gritted teeth.

  "That's Tia?" I blurt, darting away from her to him.

  "Not just" simply respond, then put the ice pack on the nightstand next to the bed and then take his car keys and head for the door.

  "I just wanted to see if you were okay," she adds, before leaving, I know you did not come here of his own free will, I know that behind there may be only one person, Logan. His name scrolls in the head, vibrates down my body, pressing against my chest and I'm screwed. I am, and I am so aware that hurts, is like running without a destination, you see, it's there in front of you, but you will not ever achieve.

  "Scottie has started drinking again?" Tia's voice is almost a whisper, I lay in my bed. "It seems more than usua
l." I let myself sink into the pillow, and I try to close my eyes.

  "He said something about ... 'I press my elbows on the mattress and nailing my eyes defeated against her, veiled by the tears that I am not able to pay.

  "I finally found what he thought of me, and everything that happened to me. Now at least I know. "Collapse on the bed with all the weight, almost as if I were dropping into the void, it is what I feel when I think back to the words of my brother. I let myself be enveloped by silence, I only listen to my breath, and free the mind, as if I opened a secret door that would leave only escape for a moment every memory that clings to my attanagliandola mind.

  When the morning we get to campus on time, after I drank two cups of black coffee from boiling

  Starbucks, I try to focus only on the courses that are waiting for me for the day.

  "See you for lunch, I come to the table of your department." I nod, and Tia pops me a kiss on the cheek before walking along the gardens that line the various structures of UCLA.

  A lesson I concentrate a lot, I will let only the words of the professors to occupy the mind, I take notes, I write and I write almost without being able to stop. Adrenaline has not yet abandoned me, the urge to cry out against those who humiliated me is like a shadow behind me. Professor Monthgomery us all goodbye, just holding me in the classroom now empty.

  "How's his argument with Mr. Jhonson?" Shit. We just needed this.

  "Good." It seems too interested in my simple answer, to the point to make the rounds of the chair and get rested with his arms crossed at his chest.

  "Good? So I assume that has not yet figured out why I chose Mr. Jhonson? "Corruccio forehead confused, can not figure out where it wants to get there, it is a thesis that among other Logan did last year.

  "I think not, at this point." He nods, sketching a face almost regret my words.

  "Miss Murphy, you'll have to discuss euthanasia. The topic of the thesis is this, and Jhonson had to treat it, a few months after her mother's death. Me