AMNESIA

by Canada Jackson

  The Sanbara were slow to rise; their slumber had been one of centuries and they roared to life too late. She witnessed them charging up the stairs, racing through the catacombs. They chased and sought the Monarch who eluded them. When they finally did catch him, it was seconds before he fled the confines of the catacombs, right in front of the gaping hole in the wall that would return him to Four Wings.

  The growl of the Sanbara echoed in her mind as Gilroth slowly turned and opened his empty palms. The growls became a wail of despair as he pointed at the ground and the magnificent beasts obeyed in prostrated obedience to the one who now owned them.

  “Please, Keeper of the Keys,

  Help us find the orb,

  Ten chances to be free of our magical chains,

  Only three remain.”

  “I will look for it,” she promised. Their mission became her own.

  She decided she would do anything to help the agonized creature before her.

  She would free it from dominion, unlike her ability to liberate herself.

  It rippled again but this time the feeling that overcame her was of its pleasure. Her throat thickened with sadness as it humbly lowered its head, as if thanking her. Then it padded out of the dark room.

  Amber stared after it as the magical green slowly disintegrated and everything returned to normal. She turned to Staede, who was suddenly released as well. He dropped to his knees, his face covered in perspiration from the exertion of fighting against the magic that had held him at bay. He scrambled up and moved toward her, clasping her face in trembling hands.

  “God! What the hell just happened? It looked like you were talking to it.”

  Amber looked behind her. Now that everything in the room had returned to normal and the magic had faded, it seemed strange and yet true. “Yes,” she said finally. “She’s looking for something that was taken from her… she wants me to find it… down here.”

  Her vision showed her that the Monarch had not left the catacombs after his theft, but the orb was not on his person when the Sanbara caught up with him.

  He had to have hidden it before they got to him.

  Staede stared at her incredulously. “She?” He reeled with shock. “Amber, they’re vicious creatures… I’ve seen them rip the head off somebody the Monarch sentenced to death. One word from his mouth and they will attack to kill.”

  Amber saw he was shaken, but the experience hadn’t frightened her once the creature spoke. “I know that, but she doesn’t mean me any harm,” she said firmly.

  “No! They are in full service to Gilroth and have magic. When they first appeared at his side out of nowhere, the Yimmyrd came here demanding custody. We realized they are dangerous creatures of sorcery when not even the Yimmyrd, with all their power, could remove these beasts from the castle.”

  * * *

  Amber had read that the Sanbara was the Thromian unicorn – a myth that had come to life in service of the Monarch, and nobody knew how or why. She remained pensive, a small frown on her face as she considered the creature’s words and the profound sadness at its loss, the way in which it made the longing to find what it needed personal. Magic or not, it was important.

  She wanted to help them.

  Staede continued to urge her. “Nothing magical lives outside of Serenay or the Illohi mainland, so nobody knows where he got them. Thromians believed them a myth, and then suddenly they appeared for real. They’re unbelievably powerful and yet they choose to remain chained at the Monarch’s side. They have defended him for years.”

  Amber nodded, but was more concerned that the Monarch had stolen something important and they were in forced protection of him. The Sanbara seemed convinced the orb remained in the catacombs and their means to escape their chains to search dwindled.

  Ten chances to be free of our magical chains, only three remain.

  “If I could find what they seek, they would be free.” She wondered if that was why they called her the key; maybe they were too afraid to ask a Thromian for help.

  If one of the brothers found the orb, they would use it to their advantage, too.

  “Have you lost your mind?” Staede gave her a little shake when she continued to stand in frowning contemplation.

  He grasped her elbow and began to propel her from the room, casting a fearful glance over his shoulder as they made their way out of the catacombs.

  “Whyle researched them and came up with nothing. The Yimmyrd have never divulged anything either, but we don’t need to know more than what we do… they’re loyal to Gilroth and we are powerless against them.”

  He swung her around when she fought against him. “Skeths melt into their skin… we are lucky to be alive.”

  He kept tossing random facts of warning at her and then frowned in confusion when she remained quietly thoughtful.

  “This is our last trip down here,” he said with regret but Amber yanked her arm from him.

  “No, I assure you they won’t harm me… I just know it… and I will come down here and look for it myself if I have to,” she said stubbornly.

  She had enough of Wrexel telling her what to do; she wasn’t about to let Staede add himself to the list.

  “Look for what?” he asked in exasperation.

  “A... pearl-like orb thing. They showed me.” She realized she didn’t have much to go on, yet her body trembled with excitement to help them and set them free. Staede looked at her as if he believed her insane.

  “I think maybe you should rest, consider what you’re saying,” he said gently. “Get some perspective.”

  She nodded but her resolve remained firm; she would help the creature somehow.

  “Also, let’s keep today between ourselves.” He stroked her hair from her face and Amber bristled, for it reminded her of the way Travis used to patronize her after her dreams about Lilith.

  Encouraging her to forget anything out of the norm and set it aside.

  Lilith.

  Oh God!

  * * *

  Her eyes widened. In all the times she played loud music, jogged, and sang aloud when her mother begged for her to listen. “Help them, help them find it’.

  Her breath came out quickly.

  Lilith had spoken of Wrexel in weirdly accurate ways before they met. Was it possible that she was speaking about the Sanbara too?

  No. Lilith was insanity!

  But Staede saw her interaction with the beasts; his presence confirmed she hadn’t conjured it all!

  She felt confident for a few seconds until she reminded herself that only she heard them speak.

  Her mouth turned down in sadness when the familiar insecurity about her mind and thoughts came rushing back.

  “I think I should rest.” She felt inferior, doubting her mind, doubting her experience.

  Earlier joy at having something important deflated.

  It was always like this.

  Surety came but insecurity followed, hope depleted by memories of insanity.

  Amber envied people with a strong mind. For her, “thinking” was an internal war she never won because certainty eluded her.

  Staede seemed relieved, but this added to her anxiety for different reasons.

  She wondered if he would turn up to take her on dashing adventures again after their experience. The encounter and her insane reaction probably made him decide she wasn’t worth it, even if it tormented Wrexel.

  It was all too familiar.

  Travis had taken her to many events, openings, and political dinners only to suggest afterward that she wasn’t ready.

  It was wrong to have a strong reaction to discussions.

  A political wife didn’t berate an important ally even if she found him racist or bigoted.

  A political wife smiled politely and kept her opinion to herself, even when she was home.

  You’re overreacting, you read the conversation wrong, you really need to think things through!

  She never got it right.

  Amber churned with inn
er turmoil as he opened the exit to the passageway.

  Staede would no doubt find an excuse not to go to the catacombs with her again. He would find an excuse to stay away.

  Crazy Amber always drove away the people she liked.

  “Secret?” he reminded her.

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll take you on other adventures; it doesn’t have to be down here. Besides, our fighting lessons will start soon.” His green eyes glinted in the light of the torch and her heart soared.

  He wouldn’t set her aside. He wouldn’t patronize her from an emotional distance. She watched as he smirked like a grinch. Her perfect partner in the desire for rebellion. She smiled up at him too generously, a flare of hope she had trouble hiding within her gaze.

  He misread it and his smile became a wicked frown. “You’re looking at me expectantly. Are you disappointed I didn’t grope you more today?”

  Amber’s mouth opened with laughing outrage as he made a fake surprised face. “Oh dear, my torch seems to have gone out,” he whispered as he turned it off. When the room plunged into black, he drew her into his arms for an inappropriate hug, molding her to him in the dark. She didn’t have a chance to push him away because he reached above her at the same time. The wall slid open, allowing the dim light from behind the tapestry to shine through.

  “Goodbye, Amber.” His breath fanned her face, for he was still inappropriately close to her. “See you soon.”

  26

  Conflicted

  Amber made it just in time, for Wrexel’s arrival announcement came from Leyahanna within minutes of her sitting down. She turned her face from the Gweithi’s glare of disapproval and wondered if Leyahanna had told Wrexel of her disappearance with Staede. Leyahanna always reminded her that Wrexel accepted her full loyalty to her, but if he thought of her as a cohort or encourager of mischief with Staede, her tenure would be over. As Amber sat waiting for him, her mind raced with the memory of the Sanbara and her own mother’s pleadings for help. She questioned herself over and again, but struggled to deny that they were linked.

  Her heart did its usual flip when Wrexel finally walked in, and he eyed her carefully but did not ask if she had seen his brother.

  Instead, he invited her onto the balcony to watch the sun set. He spoke of his training, his pride in the new recruits, and how he had noticed that she had cut Banjo’s hair, which he did not care for.

  Amber waited, sensing he wanted to say more, and wondered if he was being civil because Leyahanna was near. Perhaps the demands for compliance would come when she was out of earshot but then he surprised her.

  “I have something to show you.” He lifted his head from his wrist monitor after reading a message and stood up, holding out his hand.

  Amber frowned and her hand twitched but he merely sighed when she declined and indicated she walk with him. He scooped the ever-obedient Banjo under his arm and led her to the elevators she never used except to go down to the jogging courtyard.

  The elevator moved smoothly, taking a different route from the one she knew. It revolved at times and changed direction. She kept her gaze on the blinking panel, not liking the strange look upon Wrexel’s face or the way Banjo licked his hand reverently.

  When the doors slid open, a small passageway lay before them with two large doors just slightly ahead. Wrexel stopped at the keypad that would give them entrance and looked uncomfortable, as if he didn’t know how to tell her something.

  “What is it?” she asked nervously.

  “Leyahanna told me there are things about Earth that your… tenure at Four Wings does not liberally provide. When my current political chaos dies down, and it’s less volatile, I will take you to places you will find pleasing.”

  He shifted uneasily once again and Amber’s eyes widened with curiosity. Wrexel was always the epitome of confident arrogance.

  “Until it is safer… I hope this helps make your stay… more enjoyable.”

  He showed her access code symbols and then the two large doors slid open.

  Amber gasped.

  It had probably been another stoic Four Wings courtyard in the past. But as she watched the last of the Thromian contractors greet him as they exited with their tools and some lumbering robots that had her momentarily awed, she knew that he had altered it for her.

  She stepped out, her legs weak at the enormity of the modification that he had commissioned.

  Real grass lay beneath her feet and stretched out, covering the large area before her. Trees so much like the ones from Earth had been planted liberally in non-uniform rows. There were slopes, a pond, and around the sides a winding running track. Amber walked out and slipped off her shoes. A rush of emotion overcame her as the soft blades tickled her feet. She strode to a nearby tree, touched it, and found it was real, the bark rough and welcome beneath her palm. She moved to the pond and beamed down at the strangely colored fish that swam between rocks and lilies.

  It was beautiful and perfect. She fought back the surge of tears as emotions raged through her. The reminder of the planet she had lost, the greenery she didn’t know she would miss until it was gone, and the uncanny gesture of kindness from the beast who had taken it from her.

  She wasn’t sure how to feel.

  She turned to glare at him. Had he done this to hasten her decision to sleep with him? The look on his face, however, wasn’t leering, nor were his eyes flashing with the violet tinges of desire he usually sported.

  There was an entirely different warmth in his gaze that threw her.

  He walked over to where she stood, feet still wedged in the glorious grass.

  “What do you want in return?” she gulped as her ran his fingers through her hair and stroked his thumb over her cheek.

  “To see you smile like you did when you opened that door,” he whispered and then clicked a button on his wrist monitor that set all the ornate lamps throughout the small park alight.

  They cast a beautiful glow over the trees and flowers in her park.

  The knot in her throat thickened.

  “Oh, there is one thing I need you to do.” He frowned, and she felt her heart sink.

  No more Staede; give yourself to me tonight?

  What?

  “Teach Banjo some respect for my gift.” He chuckled, and she followed his gaze to see Banjo lifting his leg on the tree.

  * * *

  After she had seen her fill of the garden and learnt the codes that would give her access any time she wanted, they made their way back to the elevator. Amber felt strange around Wrexel, off-kilter with his behavior. Just before they arrived at his living quarters, he surprised her again.

  “Your father is well. He has taken a prominent position in the Rheesian government and is at ease.”

  Amber was surprised with the feedback about her past. She frowned, not sure of Wrexel’s motives, but he seemed to be staring at her without expectation, so she nodded. She was glad he was well, but James was a strong man and would survive. In truth, she had spent most of her life in school away from him. Only once she had met Travis did they become closer – if you could call it that.

  Travis.

  Oh God… how did it come to the point where her life was so full she stopped thinking about him?

  Guilt swathed her senses, and she glanced at Wrexel with hope that he would mention him, but he changed the subject, speaking of the coming full moon and the swearing ceremony that all of Throm relished.

  He was in mid-conversation, explaining the upcoming event, when Leyahanna interrupted.

  “My lord, Staede is looking for you; there is some trouble with an encroaching member of the 104.”

  He nodded and Amber saw regret etched on his face before he left her side to return Staede’s call. She realized when he left that she would miss him and this terrified her.

  When he kissed her goodbye, his embrace was tender. His hands stayed upon her cheeks as he brushed his mouth warmly over hers. He didn’t breach her lips, and she remembered to push
him away only after he left.

  The look he gave her as he walked out of the door had her shivering for hours.

  She was beginning to think she preferred the beast!

  Wrexel’s war evolved into another and another, with all the royals called in for support and his one day turned into three. It gave Amber an opportunity to start her search of the catacombs. The first day was wasted trying to dodge Leyahanna, and when she finally managed to do this, she struggled to find the hidden lever that Staede used to open the entrance behind the tapestry. Amber hovered in the passageway for hours. Her heart burnt with desire, but no amount of pushing, prodding, and tugging seemed to work. On the second day, Amber struggled again to escape Leyahanna and was thrilled when she announced she had a visitor from Gweithi. Amber encouraged her to take her friend into one of the Thromian cities. With the three-hour gap, she set about examining every inch of the wall until she finally found the small hole that Staede used. The wall rolled back, and she almost wept with relief and joy. It was short-lived, however, as she stepped inside and stared at the foreboding darkness that lay before her.

  She switched on her torch and busied herself finding the lever that would close the wall behind her. Part of her was terrified that the mechanism Staede showed her on their last trip would not work.

  She pulled it down, and the wall slid closed.

  She was terrified to be alone in the dark and lost her courage for a short while before busying herself in finding the pulley that would grant her exit. Just when panic began to rise within her, she felt the sleek wood of the pulley and tugged on it. The wall slid back and Amber gasped in huge breaths, realizing that even though she had been behind the stone less than ten minutes, claustrophobia had started to set in.