by Ian Finn
When Betty lets me into her apartment so I can drop Eli off, I notice that the same girl who I ran into while I was leaving the other day is sitting here with Betty.
“Oh, hello again,” I say to her. “How are you?”
Betty invites me to sit down, but I let her know that I’ll only be staying a minute or so. I can sense the girl has a fixed gaze on me, before introducing herself.
But before she does, she stands up.
“Hi, I didn’t get your name last time. I’m Candy, and you are?” she asks, flashing me a radiant smile.
Like the first time we met, I take notice of her outgoing nature, and warm, bubbly personality.
“I’m Ryan, and this my son Eli,” I say, gesturing to Eli with my free hand as we shake hands.
She then slumps her body forward, while putting her hands on her knees and getting in Eli’s face.
“Hiiii Eli. Aren’t you adorable?” she says, and Betty is quick to chime in, “Yes he sure is.”
Candy stands up straight, then puts her focus back on me.
“Betty tells me that you are a single father?” she asks.
I feel like asking her, “Did Betty also mention that I’m gay?” Maybe I’m too sensitive, but it does feel to me like her question was a tad meddlesome. Then again, I could have misread her intent altogether, and it’s simply her personality to be bold and brassy.
“Yep. Divorced from my husband for almost a year now,” I tell her.
Upon hearing this, the expression on her face becomes more roused, and it looks as if a brilliant idea has just popped into her head.
“Ooohh. I’m going to have to introduce you to my cousin! He might know some single guys, and I’m sure between the two of us, we’ll be able to fix you up on a few dates,” she proclaims with glee, and as if this is the best thing she’s heard all week.
Whatever floats your boat, lady!
I then turn to Betty.
“Well, I’m going to be on my way. And before I forget, let me pay you what I owe you from last time,” I say, as I reach for my wallet.
“I’ll walk out with you,” Candy announces, then proceeds to make her way to the door where I’m now standing.
“I’ll talk with you before the party, Betty,” Candy says to Betty in almost a whisper.
I then hand Betty the babysitting money, and before leaving, Candy gives Betty a double ‘cheek-kiss.’
I remind Betty that I won’t be more than three or four hours, and she tells me her usual, “Don’t worry about that, Ryan.” And lastly, she adds, “Have fun, you two.”
When Candy and I stop to wait at the elevator, she has her same perpetual smile on her face while she stares at me. I want to ask her what’s up, but end up giving her a half smile back, and turning the other way.
Once we get outside on the sidewalk, we begin to walk in the same direction, so I decide to ask her, “So, where are you headed now?”
I can’t help but be distracted by the sound of her high heels hitting the pavement and wonder to myself how she can be comfortable walking in them.
“Nowhere… back home, I guess. How about you?” she asks.
“Oh, I’m going up to Mickey’s to meet up with some new friends. Do you know the place?” I ask, casually.
Candy is quick to tell me that her cousin’s husband, Flynn, owns Mickey’s.
“Wait a minute. Is Wes your cousin?” I ask, now thinking what a coincidence it is that we know the same people. That’s when I also mention that Wes invited me to his grandmother’s Christmas party.
“Oh my God! That’s terrific!” she says, excitedly. And without any hesitation, she quickly adds, “Then you’ll be there for my huge surpri…”
But she cuts herself off in mid-sentence, as if she’s told me something she doesn’t want me or anyone else to know.
She doesn’t reveal anything further, so that’s when I decide to ask her, “So how do you know Betty?”
We stop at a crosswalk and are approached by a homeless man, so I reach into my pocket to hand him my change. He thanks me, and we continue walking.
“Oh…” she hesitates, then says, “She’s the mother of an old college friend.”
I get excited upon hearing this and am eager to know more.
“Did you go to school with her son?” I ask, hoping that this may be the lead I need to help Betty’s reconciliation with her son.
“Uh… her son? Oh no, I went to school with her daughter,” she answers coyly.
Hmmm, Betty never mentioned that she had a daughter too, I think to myself.
Then I turn my attention on Candy and I get the sense that she’s not being completely honest. Maybe my first impression of her was wrong. The short amount of time we’ve known each other, she seemed so gregarious, so forthright and willing to almost over share everything about herself.
When we reach her car, we stop and continue to converse. I tell her about my recent move back to Madison, and my hectic life being a single dad. And I also tell her about my music store and invite her to come to my grand opening.
“Oh, I’d love to come! I assume you’ve invited all the guys too?” she says jubilantly.
Now it seems like she’s back to being her old self.
I reach into my coat pocket and unfold one of the flyers I made up for the opening, listing all the pertinent details.
“Oh yes, I hope they’ll all be there.”
Then I let her know, “That’s how I originally met Flynn and Brent. When they came into my store to buy a present fo…”
But then I realize I’m probably close to revealing my own secret, so I don’t elaborate.
Candy ignores this, but her demeanor shifts again when she candidly states, “So Ryan, I hope I wasn’t being too presumptuous at Betty’s house when I talked about setting you up with someone. I’m not always the most tactful of people –– in case you haven’t noticed –– and sometimes I say things without even thinking.”
I smile at her. “Thanks, but you don’t have to worry about that. In fact, I was going to let you know that I already have my eye on someone –– someone I dated briefly right before I started college.”
She brightens up again. “Oh, goodie! Who’s the lucky guy?”
But I continue, ignoring her interrupted.
“I was super happy about it… at first… but something is wrong. He’s acting as though he wants nothing to do with me, and I can’t figure out why. Even when I told him that I was divorced already, he still seems to want to shy away from me. It baffles me because it wasn’t as if we ended our romance on bad terms or anything.”
After Candy hears this and she pauses to think, before she tells me, “Don’t give up on him, love, especially if you really think that the two of you belong together. Sometimes we have to fight for the things we want most.”
I think about that and decide she’s right. I’m not going to give up so easily, when there’s no obvious obstacles standing in our way. Until I forget.
My son.
That’s when tell Candy I’m going to be on my way, and she gives me a big hug.
“I’m so happy we had this chat, and I can’t wait to see you at the party! And at your opening, too. Who knows, maybe you’ll get your wish with this guy, and you can come to the party together.”
I have a feeling that won’t be happening – not now, after I’ve been reunited with Zack.
We say our goodbyes, and as I walk away, I think to myself that Zach will almost assuredly be at that party, but whether he comes with me remains to be seen.
Whatever the case, I do hope Candy is right, and that my Christmas wish comes true.
Chapter Eight
Ryan
When I arrive at Mickey’s, there’s Christmas music playing in the background, and the atmosphere is vibrant, with nearly all the tables filled to capacity.
Flynn sees me walk in and waves. He’s busy chatting with some customers on the other end of the bar.
I walk into the bar a li
ttle further, and look around to see if Wes, Brent, or anyone else I recognize is here yet. I quickly spot Wes, Will and Brent, Duncan and Tyler, and Zack, all sitting together, and so I make my way over to their table.
“Ryan, have a seat!” Brent says to me, while I shake hands with everyone. “We were just talking about you.”
I look at all of them with an, “ohhh?” expression to my face and Tyler then says, “Well, actually, we were talking to Zach about how the two of you knew each other back in the day.”
I flag down a server to ask for a beer mug, before I comment.
“So, I guess Zach filled you guys in on our history together,” I finally say.
Maybe it’s because he’s a little tipsy or just in a good mood, but Zach seems a little lighter, more playful tonight.
He sets his eyes on me, saying, “I was telling them about that time when we went to Cher’s Living Proof Tour, in 04’, and how we were right up next to the stage, and you were lip syncing to all the words.”
Everyone laughs, and my face probably turns beet red. But I decide to join in on the laughter, because hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself…
“Well, I’d like to know who could hear ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’ and not start lip-syncing,” I say. “There’s something that would be seriously wrong with that person.”
Everyone laughs, and Zach agrees. I’m much more encouraged by how Zach is behaving tonight. We spend the next ten minutes or so reminiscing about that summer, and how much fun we had on our trips to the Boystown neighborhood in Chicago, and our time at the bars in downtown Minneapolis.
“Did you tell them about the time we went camping at Buffalo Lake, and you landed on your back in the water while trying to impress me with a flip?” I ask.
Zach laughs and tells the whole story, bringing a lot of cheer to the table.
All is going smoothly for the next ten minutes. Even better than I ever expected, until Zach makes a non-funny “joke.”
“Yeah, that was a great summer, but then Ryan left me at the end of it!”
I look at him in stunned silence.
Then he goes on to say, “Now that I’ve been dumped by Jake on top of that, I don’t think I’m ever going to commit to another man again. What’s the point?”
I’m in such a state of shock by what I’m hearing that I can hardly believe it. I had no idea how hurt Zach was after that summer ended. And he thinks that I left him?
I could have sworn it was a mutual decision. That he didn’t have the money, nor any kind of purpose or reason, to move to California with me. All along, I thought it was his decision to attend college in Madison. It certainly wasn’t my decision.
After Zach’s true confessions moment, the conversation veers away from us, but I’m still left sitting there in complete confusion.
But the longer the night progresses, the more my confusion turns to anger.
Why didn’t he ever tell me any of this?
Yes, I was sad when that summer ended, but we were both young and had our whole lives ahead of us.
There wasn’t any way that two broke college kids could carry on a relationship, two thousand miles apart. I never intentionally meant to hurt Zach, but rather we were both victims of our circumstances at the time.
After another hour or two, I see Zach get up and ready himself to leave. On impulse, I follow him out of the bar and see he’s getting into a limo. I hesitate about what to do, but ultimately once again, I react with haste and follow him into the car.
He begins to ask what I’m doing, but I won’t let him speak.
“Zach! I’m so sorry; I had no idea you felt that way when we broke up,” I say.
No wonder he had been reserved and distant when he saw me again, I thought. Not only did he think I was married, but also, he thinks I purposefully broke his heart.
When he doesn’t answer, I keep talking.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this? And I’m sorry about what happened with you and Jake. I don’t want you to be angry with me,” I plead.
I shut the door, and the driver of the limo begins to take off. Zach isn’t saying too much, but I can tell he’s thinking deeply about what I’m saying. I continue my pleas to him, until all of a sudden he leans his body into me, and we begin to kiss.
Now I’m overwhelmed again, but for a much different reason. Kissing Zach feels as if he and I have picked up right where we left off, well over a decade ago. There’s that familiarity and comfort you feel with someone you know, yet at the same time, it feels brand new and scintillating.
When the limo stops in front of Zach’s house, he turns to me.
“Are you coming in?” he asks, with a searching, yet unwavering stare.
I don’t hesitate for a moment, and I follow him up the stone path to his front door. As he struggles with his keys, all I can feel is an urgency within myself to be in contact once again with Zach’s lips. To feel his body again –– his skin, his hair and his muscles. All of him. I’m consumed by these thoughts as we head directly to his bedroom.
He throws his keys down and turns to face me, and then we pick up right where we left off in the limousine. It’s passionate and fast. The next thing you know, our clothing is flying off.
Seeing Zach naked is sending shivers down my spine. He has a strong, wide chest and six pack abs. Every area of his body that I touch, and everywhere that he touches me, feels exciting… arousing.
Both of us are hard, and so we grab each other’s cocks, stroking as we kiss deeply and lovingly. After we first broke up, I used to stay up at night and think about Zach and me being together again. I would dream about all these things, his kiss, the way his body feels, how he felt when he was inside of me.
There’s no denying anymore that Zach’s lust for me isn’t real. I can feel the heat and energy that’s permeating throughout our bodies and boomeranging off each other. Zach begins to kiss me all over, starting at my neck, and moving his way down, until he’s finally on his knees.
From there, he takes his hands, cupping my buttocks, while he begins to lick my stiff cock, starting from the bottom to the top. Once he places my dick into his warm mouth, it’s as if the scintillating feeling begins to travel in every direction throughout my body.
I move to sit on the edge of the bed where I can fully relax, and watch Zach expertly swallow my cock whole. When he comes up, he concentrates on the head where I’m extra sensitive by pressing his lips together while his tongue circles around the tip.
Another reason I like this position is that I can grasp onto Zach’s muscled biceps. It gives me an added rush when my hands can hold onto and squeeze their bulging firmness, and it’s another way to feel that our bodies are connected to one another.
Zach quickly stands up, grabs a hold of his rigid dick, and places it at my more than willing lips.
They say that everyone has a unique smell that their pheromones give off, and it surprises me how quickly I can recall Zach’s scent. It’s one thing to have a visual in your mind about a former lover, but quite another altogether when you’re up close to that person and can have the experience using all of your senses.
I use my hand to squeeze down hard at the base of Zach’s cock, to make the blood rush up and cause it to be stiff as a board. I hold it in place while I suck on the bulbous head and bob my head up and down the upper half of his cock. I know already how Zach likes his dick sucked, and it becomes clear when I hear his moans from above.
As I continue, I think to myself how well his cock fits in my mouth. How satisfying it is to me when I know I can make him cum, and how much I like its taste. I’m now eager to accomplish this, so I pick up my pace and am using my hand along with my mouth to stroke him.
Zach tells me, “You’re going to make me cum.”
Hearing this makes me even hornier, so I decide to give him an orgasm he won’t forget. Using my fingers from my other hand, I quickly spit on them, and shove them up his ass.
He lets out a loud gasp, an
d I’m so close I can already begin to taste his hot cum. I take my mouth out momentarily, and begin to stroke him wildly, as I put yet another finger inside of him.
Zach cries out, “Oh, God!”
And that’s when I aim the tip into my open mouth, and let the liquid streams fly in. Zach is making loud grunting noises as he fires off a good six or seven loads, which mostly end up in my mouth, but some on my face.
I smile at him mischievously as his cum drips off my face and spills out of my mouth a bit. He makes me feel so fucking naughty, and I love it. I put his cock back into my mouth and let it rest there while I swallow the remaining cum.
After I wipe my face off, Zach tells me to get up on the bed and rest against the headboard, so that he can get me off the same way I did him. Our encounter was satisfying on both ends, and I can only hope this rendezvous isn’t a one-time thing. I crave to have Zach back in my life more than ever. I want it to be like this every night.
Chapter Nine
Zach
After lying in bed for fifteen minutes or so in complete silence, Ryan finally reveals to me that he’d like for me to give our relationship another shot.
But when I fail to respond, he asks me, “So, what are you thinking about?”
Asking me what I’m not thinking about would probably be a more appropriate question. Part of this past hour with Ryan has felt like a dream. Yes, the sex was incredible, and yes, I felt as if I was on cloud nine.
But then I have to ask myself: What the heck am I doing?
I answer Ryan as sincerely as I possibly can.
“I don’t know how I feel about this,” I say, but I don’t elaborate, because it’s the God’s honest truth.
I really don’t know where to begin. I kissed him out of impulse and pure physical desire. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to trust him emotionally.
Why should I risk getting involved with Ryan when there’s the possibility that he could decide to up and leave me again one day? Just like Jake did? They say the third time’s a charm, but what if the third time is only a repeat of the first and second times?