TRUSTING JAKE: MONTGOMERY HEROES OF ALASKA

by Becca Monroe

  “How so?”

  Josh was a prankster and the first one to cut jokes, but right now his demeanor was serious, which made me a little nervous. “Come on, man, this is me. I know you better than anybody. You have avoided that woman all because of Callie. Now, you take off work to watch over her when she’s sick and let her stay at your place? What changed? Why the sudden turnaround?”

  He wouldn’t let it go. I knew I had to give him something, and he was right, he knew me better than anybody else. Perhaps talking to him and getting his opinion on things was a good idea, but I wasn’t ready to be open with my feelings about her yet. Truth was, I wasn’t even sure what all those feelings entailed.

  So, I kept it about her and her alone. “Josh, she didn’t get sick.”

  “Mom and Mike both said she was sick outside and couldn’t be at work.”

  I shook my head. “She had a panic attack and not a mild one. I’m talking about full-on panic mode. Like I was when I first came home.”

  His eyes were full of understanding. “I see. What brought it on?”

  “We were discussing Thanksgiving, and I asked her some questions about why her holidays in the past weren’t peaceful and why she was so adamant about finding and maintaining peace. Then she received a phone call, which seemed to concern her. When I continued with the questions after her call, she immediately got nervous, started hyperventilating, and rushed out of the truck. I talked her through the breathing techniques, and they seemed to help, but it terrified her.”

  “Mike told me about the basement and how she reacted to you, thinking you would hit her. I don’t understand her being terrified of you asking a few questions though? That doesn’t seem normal unless she…” He stopped mid-sentence, understanding dawning on his features. “Unless she’s hiding from someone she doesn’t want to talk about.”

  “Exactly what I thought. I called David, he’s going to do some checking around for me. She has said many times she thinks it’s time to leave Alaska, but I don’t think she knows where to go. She’s scared, and it’s difficult to see her like that.”

  Josh sat down on a stool in the kitchen. “Where is she from again? I thought mom told us when she showed up, but I can’t remember.”

  “Trying to get information about Delaney out of mom is a no-fly zone. Not sure if she knows something and doesn’t want to share it, doesn’t know a thing, or just thinks it’s none of our business, but she isn’t talking. I don’t want to worry her if she does not know about Delaney either. Mom doesn’t say too many personal things about her, so I need you to sit here with her for a while. She’s asleep so it should be simple, but I need to go check the payroll records for the restaurant. I need to get her date of birth, bank account information, and anything else I can and get it to David, to dig a little more.”

  Josh stood and put the bread on the stove. “I think you should stay with her and let me do that. If she trusted you enough to let you help her through her panic attack, she won’t feel as comfortable when she wakes up and you aren’t here. You think she’s hiding from someone?”

  “I do. Last night she fell asleep in the truck on our way here. I tried to wake her up when we arrived, but she was out, so I picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. She asked me not to hurt her, it was almost a plea for mercy. Hearing the pain in her voice gutted me.”

  “Did you ask her about it?”

  “No. I planned on doing that today, but then this happened. It seems like too much to keep pushing her if she’s struggling with simple questions about holidays.”

  Josh studied me for a minute, and I knew what he was going to say. “You care about her. That’s why you stayed away. You care, and it scares you because of what happened with Callie.”

  “Can we not talk about Callie for an entire day?”

  He smirked and shook his head. “Brother, I would love to not speak about that evil witch ever again, but she still has your head so twisted up in knots it makes that unlikely.”

  I looked down at the floor, processing what Josh said. He wasn’t wrong. It had been years, and I was still messed up from the damage her betrayal did. “There are things that remind me of Callie.”

  “What about Delaney reminds you of Callie? Please tell me, because I don’t see the similarities.”

  I took a few steadying breaths. Here it was, the moment I was going to verbalize the truth aloud. “Nothing about how she looks, or the person she is. I’m smart enough to see that’s different. It’s the feelings being around her elicit inside me. The moment I met her, something drew me to her, and that scares the shit out of me.”

  He took a step toward me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

  “Jake, I know you loved Callie and so you only saw the good in her, but there was a lot in that girl that wasn’t good. She was superb at lying and manipulating everyone around her. She became an addict and abused the people who loved her. That is the reality. I know you don’t want to see that, but it’s the truth.”

  He pointed down the hallway towards the bedroom where Delaney was resting. “She is a fantastic person. She helps some of our elderly people at church by grocery shopping and doing chores for them, and she checks in on mom every day, even when she’s off work. Every single day. Delaney isn’t like Callie at all. She’s the best human being I’ve met in a long time, and you need to see her for the woman and person she is. Don’t be afraid of what you’re feeling, just trust it. We should always trust our instincts. You taught me that.”

  “My instincts tell me she’s in trouble.”

  He patted me on the back and walked to the front door. “I’ll go see what I can find out at the restaurant and get you and David the info. If she’s in trouble and needs our help, I’ll be there for her too. She’s been a good friend to me. It’s about time I return the favor.”

  Everyone had opinions about Callie, and I knew that, but it didn’t make hearing them any easier. She was the first woman I ever loved, and she became nothing but a stranger to me. That’s tough to live with. Josh was right about one thing, Delaney was a good person and it was time I give her the benefit of the doubt. She needed people she could count on and trust, and I wanted to be one of those people.

  “Did you know she paints? There are a couple of paintings of scenery from the area up in her house. She’s very talented.”

  Josh just smirked at me. “The spare room in her cabin has about a hundred of them. Josie and I have been slowly sneaking them out of her place, photographing them and putting them back so we can set up a website for her. We figured she can sell them to make some money.”

  “Money? She’s hurting for money?”

  He shrugged. “She’s never said a word to me, but Josie said she mentioned something during a conversation about needing to make more money, and I guess it wasn’t the first time she’d mentioned money being a concern. I asked her about it a few weeks ago, but she said Josie must have misunderstood her. You are correct though, she’s an amazing artist, she just doesn’t seem to want people to know it.”

  “She doesn’t want people to know she’s a talented artist, so you and Josie thought it would be nice to set up a website for her to sell her art? The art she doesn’t want to share with the world. That sounds legit.”

  Josh laughed at my comment. “She needs a storefront in town. I bet those things would sell like hotcakes.”

  “I told her that too. Maybe one day she will get there, but right now, she’s not wanting to be seen much. At least, that’s how it looks to me.”

  “I’ll let you know what I find out at the restaurant. Give me a shout and let me know how she’s doing.”

  “You know I will.”

  Delaney

  His voice was a whisper and my mind couldn’t help but register how close his mouth was to my ear. “Delaney, momma sent some food over for you. I let you sleep this afternoon, but it’s around dinner time. You need to eat something.”

  The calming sound of Jake’s voice made me want to curl up
next to him and sleep forever. I opened my eyes to find him kneeling next to the bed, his eyes parallel to mine. “Hey, you hungry?”

  I’m hungry alright, but not for food. If I laid here much longer with his voice in my ear and his eyes looking at me like that, I was going to want things that I shouldn’t be wanting.

  Who was I kidding? Every part of my body already wanted Jake. My mind was doing battle with my body, and it was losing. “Hi, yes, I could eat,” I said, sitting up, breaking our gaze.

  “How are you feeling?” He asked, standing up.

  I climbed out of bed. “Better. Thank you for helping me earlier, not sure why that happened.”

  He offered his hand to help me up. “No thank you is necessary. Momma sent a ton of food and your tips from the other night.”

  We walked into the kitchen where he had set up everything for us. It thrilled a part of me as he sat beside me, the other part prayed he would stay far, far away. “Smells delicious.”

  “She loves to cook, you know that,” he said, placing a large bowl of soup in front of me. “The bread’s fresh too.”

  “Thank you for everything this morning, but I feel bad that you are missing work because of me. That isn’t necessary. I’m okay and will be fine by myself.”

  He placed his hand over mine and squeezed. “I’m sure you would be just fine alone, but I’d worry all day if I went to work after what happened this morning. For my sanity, can you do me the honor of allowing me to stay with you a bit?”

  I was staring at him again. We both were aware of it, but I didn’t know how to stop it. He just kept surprising me, and part of me loved it. The private side of me that spent the past months dreaming about him talking to me, touching me, kissing me. Yes, that part loved the fact that Jake Montgomery wanted to spend time with me. The logical part was screaming for me to run from him, from Alaska, from the reality that Matt may be closer to finding me.

  He must have seen the conflict in my eyes because he smiled and brought my hand to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on it.

  “When I came back home after my last deployment, I had panic attacks too. Sometimes they were debilitating, and I couldn’t function at all for a while, but sometimes they weren’t too bad, and I recovered quickly. I don’t know what’s causing yours and you don’t have to share it with me. Just know that I’ve been there and if you want to talk about it, or anything else, I’ll listen.”

  The way Jake held my hand and his kind words made me want to throw myself into his arms and tell him everything. It would be heaven to not feel so alone anymore. To tell someone about the nightmare I lived through and was still living through, but doing that would put him and everyone that I knew in jeopardy. Kelly was already at risk, and that fact didn’t sit well with me. She sounded worried this morning, and Kelly’s worrying terrified me.

  I looked him in the eye and smiled. “Thank you for saying that. It means a lot, coming from you.” I couldn’t hold his eyes any longer, knowing the next thing I said would be untruthful. “I’m not sure why I get them, sometimes they just creep up, then I don’t have any for a long time. But if I ever need to talk, I’ll take you up on your offer.”

  He released my hand. “I hope so because I mean it. Now, let’s eat,” he said with a smile that shattered the tension in the room.

  The evening went by quickly, and I was grateful for his presence. I laid on the couch and read, while he sat across from me in the recliner, pounding away on his laptop. There were a few times I caught him staring at me, and I wondered what thoughts were occupying his mind. Looking up from the pages of the book, and seeing his eyes on me, then his gentle smile, made me feel safe. Something I hadn’t experienced in a very long time.

  “Do you think I could make dinner for us tomorrow night?” The question came out before I thought it through entirely, but I hadn’t been able to cook a full meal for anyone since leaving New York. The thought of using that beautiful kitchen to make Jake a meal made me feel happy.

  He got up from the recliner and walked to the couch where I was lying. Goosebumps appeared on my arms from the contact when he sat beside me, and I prayed he hadn’t noticed my body’s reaction to him whenever he was close. “I would like to make you dinner as a thank you. So, if Friday’s ok, I’m off, and I would like to do that for you,” I said.

  Jake smiled and my body ached with need. Why did he have to be so damn handsome?

  “You really do like to cook, don’t you?” he asked.

  “I love to cook, but living alone, there aren’t many opportunities for me to do it anymore.”

  “Ah yes, ice cream out of the carton, if I remember correctly,” he joked.

  I poked his arm. “Hey, that was dessert. Did you forget I polished off some wings before I went to work on that tub of ice cream?”

  The surprise in his eyes made me smile. “Ah yes, I remember. Huh, I didn’t really have you pegged for wings and ice cream kind of girl,” he said, looking into my eyes.

  Curious, I sat up a little more, forcing our bodies closer. “Really? What kind of girl did you have me pegged for?” I asked.

  “More of the champagne and caviar type,” he said.

  “You really thought that?”

  “One hundred percent,” he confirmed.

  “I never really liked those. They have a place, I suppose, but give me a Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza with extra cheese, and you’ll make me the happiest woman on the planet.”

  He raised his eyebrows and that handsome smile of his appeared. “Don’t forget the ice cream, right?”

  “It’s essential for a well-rounded experience,” I said, making him laugh.

  He stood up and smiled. “Well, Friday night then. It’s a date.”

  “Oh, not a date. I mean, just dinner here, nothing special. I mean, I guess it’s a date, technically, but it need not be a date, maybe just two friends having dinner or…”

  He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the top of my head, shutting me up instantly. “You’re cute as hell when you’re nervous and rambling on about things.”

  I couldn’t protest because I was rambling. What the literal hell was the matter with me?

  “I’m going to take a shower and turn in for the night,” he said.

  “Okay, goodnight.” I watched him head toward his bedroom and everything inside of me slumped down into the couch. How could I keep staying here when all I wanted to do was hide in the strength of his arms? Nothing good would come of this if we kept going this way. We were playing with fire and both of us were about to get burned.

  “Goodnight,” he whispered.

  Jake

  A blood-curdling scream jolted me out of bed. My eyes reached for the firearm on my nightstand, and I noticed the clock read two-thirty a.m. Delaney! I made my way down toward her room, her cries and screams reverberating down the hallway. My hand quietly turned the doorknob, and I stepped inside. Beads of sweat coated her skin and tears streamed down her beautiful face.

  Her body was curled up against the headboard, murmuring something I couldn’t quite understand. I checked the room and bathroom to ensure nobody made it into the house without me knowing, secured my weapon on the bookshelf, and closed the bedroom door, moving toward her. When I kneeled at the side of the bed, I kept my voice at a whisper. “Delaney. Baby, it’s Jake. Honey, you need to wake up.”

  Her body tensed and she threw her hands over her head. “Please no more, no more hurt,” she cried.

  I examined everything I could about the situation. Her rapid eye movements, trembles throughout her body. You shouldn’t try to wake people from a PTSD nightmare, and I knew that’s what she was experiencing. Some people having them were capable of violence during that time, believing they were in a dangerous situation. Delaney was half my size, and I had no concern about being harmed by her. Watching her in this much pain was unbearable. I stayed on the floor next to her and placed my hand on the top of her head.

  “Delaney, it’s Jake,” I said again.
“Can you open your eyes? Look at me. Can you do that for me?”

  I kept my tone calm, but tears continued to stream down her face like waterfalls and my heart shattered. “Please, no more, I’ll be good, please,” she cried. Rage burned inside me. Someone hurt her so badly that she was begging them for mercy.

  “Delaney, stop this,” my voice became more firm, and I moved my hands down around her, crawled up into the bed, and pulled her back into my chest. She gasped for a moment until I whispered in her ear. “You’re okay. I won’t hurt you. It’s Jake and everything’s okay, it’s Jake. You’re safe, just breathe.”

  After about thirty minutes, she drifted into a sound sleep, never fully waking from her nightmare. I didn’t know if she was conscious enough to realize I was holding her, but when she finally quieted and found peace, she was resting, and that was all that mattered. I laid in her bed holding her until five a.m., then I quietly got up, left her room, and showered to get ready for the day.

  The hot water poured over my skin and all I could think about was her pleas for mercy. What kind of person drives someone to beg for compassion? I decided not to say anything about last night. If she remembered it and brought it up, I would talk with her about it, but I didn’t want to risk triggering another dream or anxiety attack.

  My buddy in Anchorage, who was my old therapist, once I retired from the Army, may help her the way he helped me. I would call him this week, and hopefully, David can get some information. If we can sort this out once and for all, she can live in peace for good.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Delaney

  My head was pounding with a headache and I didn’t feel rested, but I walked out into the kitchen bright and early Friday morning to find Jake sitting at the island on his computer with a smile. “What do you do on there all the time?”

  “I trade stocks and look over investments for family, friends and myself. Sort of a second hobby of mine. Plus, I have a lot of other businesses outside of the gym I’m involved in.”