Love's Dance

by Karen Deen

  Quickly checking my emails and messages, I activate the Bluetooth on my phone to hook into the studio speakers. My audition song is on my phone. It’s so I can listen to it at every single chance. I need not only to know the song but become one with it. I have to feel it right to my core to be able to put all the emotion and passion into my dance. For me, dancing is telling a story. It isn’t just moving around in sync with music. You need the audience walking away having lived your dance and felt every part of your story.

  Warming up and stretching on the bar, I clear my mind and let the song start to wrap around me and take me to the place I need to be. My audition piece is close to my heart, and in a way, tells my story. The story of life being one of joy and the secure feeling it gives you, but then the rug is pulled out from under you. It then portrays the journey of the fight back to regain my strength and confidence in life, looking for that joy again.

  This is my last chance at living my dream. I can’t let anything, or anyone, distract me at this stage. The audition is in two weeks’ time. I’m really happy with my chorography and now it’s time to polish and refine it. Contemporary dance is my favorite style. It allows so much expression. I stand in the middle of the studio and concentrate on my breathing.

  Blocking out everything else so there is just me in this moment, the music starts. I inhale my last breath and let my body take over. My mind is totally immersed, my arms in motion, my legs strong carrying me around the floor. My heart rate rises, my mood soaring to its happy place. Nothing can ever top the feeling I get when I’m dancing. It will always be my first love.

  After spending two hours working hard, I feel satisfied on where the audition piece is at. Sweat runs down my back, my leotard saturated. It feels amazing. A feeling I never thought I would get again. One of self-satisfaction. When you’re thoroughly exhausted because you gave it everything you have and left nothing in the tank.

  Today is a good day.

  I have a full afternoon of teaching in front of me, so time for a shower. My poor students and parents don’t want to put up with the stale sweat on my skin. Mind you, if they saw me, my appearance would be one to scare them away anyway.

  It’s one of the things I love about my studio, that it has a bathroom and shower. It makes my life so much easier. If I’m heading out after class, I can always freshen up first. No need to head home and waste time. I look forward to the hot water on my muscles this afternoon after a few hours of hard-core practice.

  Standing with the hard needles of water pounding on my back, my mind starts to relax and wander. Grant again invades my thoughts.

  7

  Grant

  At least today has started better than yesterday. However, yesterday was a special day. The birth of little baby Thomas had erased all the bad things that’d happened. Zach called this morning to let me know Emily and Thomas have settled well over night and will be spending a few days in the hospital. The twins will be staying at home, with Gruffy and Me-Me looking after them when Zach isn’t there. Mom always said she would be happy to travel until grandkids arrived. True to her word, Mom and Dad have not been away since Sophia and Samuel came into our lives. They took their roles as Gruffy and Me-Me very seriously. There’s so much love to share that all the kids were spoilt-rotten as they came into our family, no matter how many there ended up being.

  Of course, I told Zach not to worry, that I would take care of everything and told him if there was anything he needed, to call me. He laughed at me when I said it. I am not sure why, but probably because I sounded more like a father than a brother. It was never intentional, but I couldn’t stop it. I’m glad I can be the entertainment for my siblings.

  Mom and Dad might need a break tomorrow from the twins, so I will offer to pick them up from school. I can do the afterschool activities and then drop them to the hospital for a visit. Mom can then give them dinner, baths and get them into bed. That part of the day, I have no idea on what to do. Small children have never really been my thing. Mainly because I don’t know how to control them. Soph and Sammy claimed my heart though and there was no turning back. Baby Thomas just claimed another part of it yesterday. Another family member for me to keep safe.

  Work was running smoothly at the office this morning. Everyone’s excited to hear the happy news of Thomas’s arrival. The women swoon, and the men try to stay clear of them.

  What is it with women and babies? It sends them crazy.

  Zoe, Zach’s secretary and personal assistant, is trying to control them all. She promises to relay all the news she receives when speaking to Zach. I call past her office and tell her to take time out and go see Thomas, Emily and Zach. She’s like family and I know they’d love to see her. Zoe drives me nuts just like the rest of them, but she was one of us, even if not blood related. There was just something about her.

  However, when Zoe returns from the hospital, she too is all dreamy. I realize maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all.

  I need to get out of the office for a while. There’s too much estrogen running around and not enough testosterone to counter-balance it. That might not necessarily be a good thing either. Office romances are not especially welcome in our business. We don’t have any hard and fast rules against it, but it just makes things difficult if it doesn’t work out. We’ve made it clear we don’t encourage it, and hopefully that will be enough.

  It’s time to grab a bite to eat which gives me an excuse to get out of office, even for a short while. Jumping in the car trying to decide what I feel like for lunch, becomes more about where I feel like spending a bit of time in a non-baby world.

  Driving along the street, I find myself heading in the direction of Zara’s dance studio. I haven’t worked out in my head yet how I’m going to approach getting to know her. It’s obvious I need my A-game before she’ll ever agree to spend time with me. That doesn’t stop me thinking of her all the time. I’ve never had a woman take over my thoughts.

  Dating is never an issue for me. Women are always interested. I’m not sure if they’re interested in me or my money. I’m not a billionaire, but I’m very comfortable. Working hard has taught me the value of money and to not flaunt it around. I make it work for me. There have been few women who’ve made it to more than one date, but that’s it.

  They don’t understand my life and the time I dedicate to my business, my drive to succeed. When I was young I watched my father work hard. It earned him respect and power. I knew then I wanted that power and success. I felt the hunger you needed to be at the top.

  Zara is the first person to really catch my attention and she isn’t even chasing me. Instead, I want to get to know her. Who am I kidding? She has more than caught my attention. She’s consumed my every thought since the first time she opened her mouth. Those fiery red lips serve up a mouthful of sass to me. I wonder how they would feel and taste. Last night she was in my dreams and the things she did with those perfect lips were sinful. God, they felt good though.

  Lunch became hole-in-the-wall Mexican that has the most sensational burritos. I order my usual, beef with plenty of beans. While placing my order, I wonder to myself what Zara’s food habits would be like. Would she be one of those women who only ate ‘munch and crunch’ as I called it? A bowl full of salad with every variety but nothing of any taste or flavor. Or would she be a woman who knew a good meal? Who loved a great steak full of flavor with sauce running over the sides. Perhaps red meat isn’t her thing but maybe she loves a creamy vegetarian pasta.

  Geesus, I’m just ordering lunch and still Zara’s consuming my thoughts.

  Without second guessing, I order a second burrito with chicken. Maybe Zara’s at the studio. If I walk in with lunch, she’ll have no excuse to say no to eat with me. I could eat either burrito, so Zara even has a choice. I’m just hoping it’s a foot in the door just to see her.

  Even if she isn’t in the studio, I’ll just take lunch back to the office. Luke is like a seagull when it comes to food. He will polish it off i
n no time. The question will be asked why I have it, but I’ll simply ignore him. This is not something I need to share with my family.

  The door to the studio pushes open easily as my mind goes back to last night. Being a woman on her own in the downtown studio at that time of night, it’s ridiculous to leave the door unlocked. I can feel the hairs on my neck raise just thinking about Zara’s safety.

  Climbing the staircase, my head’s in a jumble as to what I’m going to say. I co-ordinate business meetings with high-powered business people, I head the family meetings. However, right at this moment, I feel myself spiraling. This makes me uneasy.

  Standing at the studio entrance, taking in a deep breath, I pull my shoulders back, trying to steady my thoughts.

  Game on, I tell myself, and walk confidently through the door. The studio’s empty. No students or parents are around so Zara must be on a break. She must be here, otherwise the studio would be locked. I stand around wondering where she is. Hearing noises from the door in the corner, I realize she’s in the bathroom. I can hear running water from a shower. Leaning against the bar, I patiently wait, hoping not to startle her when she exits the bathroom. It’s not like I can warn her I’m here. That’ll just be awkward and weird to knock on the door. I’ll just wait.

  Zara

  The relief from the needling warm water is both soothing and blissful after a hard dance workout. A small, simple pleasure in life, but one I love.

  I stand for a moment, letting my muscles relax, wishing I could stand here longer, but I know I need to get prepared for the afternoon classes. Of course, there’s always administration paperwork also needing to be done.

  White fluffy towels are the best after a soothing shower. Some would say I’m a little OCD with my life. I like what I like. I’m more settled when my life is in order and things are as I want them.

  Xavier and Natalie are always laughing at me for it, but that is how I function. Chaos, I cannot handle. It stresses me. I can handle any pressure except for being disorganized. It sounds strange, but I work better under stress, as long as it is organized stress, if there’s such a thing. Sometimes, that’s what’s needed to stop the chaos, just plain hard work. Not many people understand that. Mark certainly never got it.

  Securing the towel around me, I turn to grab my duffle bag. Oh, shit! I forgot to grab it from the office on my way in. Lucky the studio is locked so it won’t matter if I walk around naked. There’s was no way I’m putting sweaty clothes back on. I swear, most days I go through two to three sets of dance clothes. It is not a great look to be teaching with sweaty, smelly leotards on and expect my students to turn up appropriately dressed.

  Opening the bathroom door, I kick my toe on its corner. “Fuck!” I cry and lean down to make sure there’s no damage. A broken toe at this crucial time in the audition process could be the difference between a call back or not. It’s throbbing but looks okay, thank God. Just at that moment, I hear a muffled sniggering from across the room. My heart stops. How the hell did someone get in? Or more importantly, who helped themselves in? Clutching my towel, I slowly rise.

  “Maybe now you’ll listen to me about locking that goddamn door,” Grant quips.

  I feel his heated stare travelling the length of my near-naked body. Of course, it has to be him. The man who wouldn’t leave my dreams and thoughts last night, is now in front of me devouring my body with his greedy eyes. We both stand motionless for a moment until I snap my brain into gear.

  “What are you doing here, Grant? How did you get in?” I mumble, nervously gripping the top of my towel like it’s my lifeline.

  “Through the door, Zara. The one I keep telling you to lock.” He has that father look again. The one that usually comes before the sentence “if I have to tell you a third time there will be trouble, young lady.” My father’s voice rings clear in my head.

  “It was locked,” I snap back. “I asked one of the parents to lock it on her way out after class.” I drop my hands to my hips to let Grant know he better back down with the attitude.

  “Well, I’m sorry, Zara, I walked straight in and the door definitely was unlocked.” Finally, his eyes fix on my face and for once his voice is more assertive rather than yelling.

  “Damn, I never would have got in the shower if I’d known the studio was open. I’m not that stupid, Grant. That’s just putting myself in danger.”

  “Thank God you see it that way. Although, I’m not complaining with the view I have right now, you standing before me in just a fluffy towel. I’m not sure you understand how hard it is to not rip that towel away. You’re a very attractive woman, Zara.” Grant’s voice is low and gruff, one that makes parts of me stand up and take notice.

  “I ahh…um…should get my clothes…” I stumble over my words like an idiot.

  “That’s a very good idea, Zara. I’m not sure how long I can stay on this side of the room. Don’t suppose you need help?” A grin slides up his face. This is a side of Grant I haven’t seen. His smile is cute and softens his face considerably. The only time I have seen him drop his hard-assed façade is with little Sophia.

  “Pretty sure I’ve been dressing myself for quite a while now. Anyway, shouldn’t it be the other way around where you should be undressing me?” With that, I’m amused by the look on Grant’s face as I head to my office. Grabbing my bag, I turn to find Grant right behind me.

  “Be careful with your throwaway lines, Zara,” Grant warns. He’s so close to me now, he leans forward to whisper in my ear. My nerves go off like firecrackers. “I might just take you up on that offer. At least I know your mind is in the same place mine is. Just know this…when the time finally comes, and it will, you won’t need to be telling me to take your clothes off.”

  I can hear myself pant and there’s was not a thing I can do to stop it. I’m on fire. At the rate this is going I’ll need another shower. “I’ll wait over here for you, baby. Now go and cover that hot ass.”

  He turns and stalks across the studio to the windows that face the street.

  I remain stunned, watching his perfect body from behind.

  As soon as he comes near me, I lose all control and strength. I’m not one to be lost for words or take a step backwards. But every time, Grant has made me a babbling mess. I need to be stronger around him.

  I run across the room to the bathroom, lock myself in and I lean my back against the door. I breathe deeply trying to get my brain some oxygen. I need to walk back out there with my sassy personality otherwise I fear before today is over, that I will somehow be in Grant’s bed, losing my mind with pleasure.

  That’s not a bad thing.

  In fact, I’m sure it would be awesome. But I can’t let that happen. I need to keep my focus on the audition, not on some hot, sexy man and dreaming about how amazing the sex would be. I have a feeling it’d be out of this world.

  After all, in my dreams last night, it was the best sex I’d ever had.

  8

  Fully dressed and hair secured in a bun on the top of my head, I check myself in the mirror before opening the door. I want to make sure I look my best. Not for Grant, of course, but for my students when they arrive.

  Who am I kidding, of course I want to look good for Grant. My heart wants to hear him talk about my body again.

  Slowly, I open the bathroom door and see Grant still looking out onto the street. Taking a moment to admire the view, I stand leaning against the doorframe.

  He has that perfect muscular and robust shape of a very fit man, one of my weaknesses. Broad shoulders fill his suit jacket perfectly. Grant carries a strength about him, his stance one of power. I consider how he’d be as a dance partner, to have those arms wrapped around me, hoisting me into the air. He would never drop me. He could be someone to put my trust into, and someone who could protect my dreams.

  As I straighten, I make the slightest noise, loud enough for Grant to turn and look over his shoulder.

  His gaze is smoldering, and our eyes lock for a moment.
It feels like he’s looking straight down into the depths of my soul. I study him back and want to know what makes this stunning man tick. There’s more to the gruffness I encountered last night, I’m sure of it. I really wish to explore it more, but I know I can’t. I have to keep my eye on the goal.

  “What are you doing here, Grant? I thought after last night and our verbal sparring, you would have run far away from this studio.” I walk towards him, his gaze firmly on me. His smile softens his features.

  “I was out of the office and grabbing lunch when I realized I wasn’t far from you. I need to apologize for last night, Zara. Both times. I was stressed about Emily. Making sure her, and the baby were going to be okay. Of course, I was also concerned for Zach. He’s had a bad time before, he’s very vulnerable. But that doesn’t excuse my behavior. I shouldn’t have spoken to you the way I did. So, I brought a peace offering as an apology.” He holds a bag from the great Mexican restaurant down the road and my mouth starts to water. I’m starved after my workout.

  What happened to the Grant from last night? The hot, sexy Grant who likes to dominate. Not that I don’t like this version. The sweet, melt-my-panties Grant.

  “That’s very kind of you, Grant, but totally unnecessary. I wasn’t exactly sweet as honey to you last night either. I understand the panic you were feeling. From a few comments mentioned last night and today, I am guessing there’s more to the story. So, I’m glad Thomas is here healthy, and everything is perfect for them all.”

  He’s still eyeing me up and down. He might be all sweet at the moment, but I can tell there’s some very naughty thoughts going through his mind.

  “I must say, I am starving and the smell coming from that bag is amazing. What did you bring for me?” I motion for him to take a seat on one of the chairs we have lined along the wall for the parents to sit on.

  “I wasn’t sure what you’d prefer so I’ve got a beef and bean burrito or a chicken. I eat both, so you can take your pick.” Grant stood next to me while holding out the bag for me to make a choice. While I take it from his hands our fingers brush, that instant tingle racing up my arm. This man is doing things to my body I have no control over. It’s annoying but arousing at the same time. I hate I can’t control my hormones around Grant.