Win Some, Lose Some

by Shay Savage

  When I took a quick look toward the school, I could see they were all watching our approach. Mayra turned into me and started to try to push me backwards.

  “What are you doing?” I asked. “It’s almost time for first bell. We have to be at my locker before first bell, or I’ll never get to class on time.”

  “Matthew, they know!” she cried out a little louder. “Those are all Justin’s friends! His teammates! I have no idea what they might be planning!”

  I grabbed her arms and pulled her in front of me. I met her eyes and stared into them as hard as I could.

  “I will never let anyone hurt you.”

  “What if they want you?” she whispered.

  I glanced over my shoulder, and six big guys stood near the entrance—all football players. There were at least three dozen other kids standing around as well, and I really didn’t think they’d try anything with that big of an audience.

  “We’ll be fine,” I told her. “They aren’t going to do anything right in front of the school. They’d get expelled.”

  I turned her around, put my arm across her shoulders to keep her near me, ducked my head down, and started for the doors. As we neared the entrance, they all stood up a little straighter, and some of them took a slight step forward.

  My body tensed. Despite what I said, I wasn’t sure what I would do with six of them. I could handle two at a time, assuming they weren’t more skilled than me, but I couldn’t really take on more than that. If my assessment was wrong—if they were going to try something—I didn’t really stand a chance.

  I tightened my arm around Mayra’s shoulders and considered turning and running with her. When I glanced up, I saw Scott O’Malley, who was also on the team. He was looking right at me as he brought up his hands.

  That’s when the applause began.

  Every football player, every student, and even a couple of teachers just stood there in the common area outside the school and applauded as we walked toward the doors, slowing in bewilderment. Mayra looked from me to the clapping students and back again and then smiled.

  I couldn’t figure out what that was all about, so I just kept Mayra close to me as we walked through the crowd.

  After that day, school just got weird.

  All these people who never even acknowledged my existence before started coming up and trying to talk to me. Everyone wanted a detailed, eyewitness account of what happened. The thing was, neither Mayra nor I really cared to go over it again. She was pretty good about just saying we got jumped, and I beat them off, but everyone wanted more. I would tense up, not wanting to say anything to the people who never said anything to me before but also wanting to protect Mayra so she wasn’t being harassed about it. By the end of the first day, Mayra had broken down and cried twice when people were asking questions, and Aimee Schultz—contrary to her usual, compassionate demeanor—completely went off on Carmen Klug and told her to leave Mayra alone.

  I was quite grateful.

  I actually did pretty well, all things considered. I only freaked out a couple of times when a bunch of people came up to me at once, and Mayra wasn’t there.

  At the end of English, a couple of the football players kept asking me how I managed to beat up four guys. They seemed somewhat skeptical, and I could barely even get much more than an “um” out of my mouth when Joe stepped up.

  “Matthew’s been kickboxing for years,” he told them. “I saw him in a tournament once when my older brother was competing. Matthew kicked ass, won every trophy, and he was competing with guys older than him, too. He does kickboxing, Tae Kwon Do, Aikido, and warshoes. ”

  “Wushu,” I said, correcting him quietly.

  “Yeah, that. Anyway, he kicks ass and always has. Sent two of them to the hospital, and you can read that in the fucking paper.”

  They left after that, and Joe just kept looking at me sideways as we made our way to the next classroom. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore.

  “What?” I finally asked.

  Joe laughed and shook his head.

  “I always knew you could,” he said, “but I really never would have guessed you had it in you.”

  The weirdest bit was when I was doing some research in the library, and I overheard some of the girls on the soccer team talking. I was at one of the desks with the high sides on them, so they must not have seen me from where they were standing between shelves full of biographies.

  “I don’t see why it changes anything,” Carmen was saying. “He’s still just weird.”

  “He’s just quiet,” said another voice. I was pretty sure the remark came from Samantha. “Besides, he’s fuckhawt.”

  There was a bunch of giggling then.

  “You’re crazy,” Carmen said. “You’re just as nutty as Mayra for dating that weirdo. She could have anybody. Now that Justin has completely fucked himself and got expelled, she’ll be totally out of options when she comes to her senses.”

  “She’s not about to give him up,” Samantha said. “Did you hear her talking after Spanish? She said if you ever saw him with his shirt off, you’d all be biting and scratching to get a closer look.”

  “I just can’t believe she’d give it up to someone so weird. Come on, girls—we are talking about Matthew Rohan here. He can’t even talk half the time!”

  “He’s always been cute,” another voice said. I wasn’t sure who it belonged to.

  “Beyond cute. He’s dead sexy.” That was Aimee. I didn’t even realize she was with the group. “He was cute even when he was younger. From what Mayra has told me, he is seriously all man under that shy exterior.”

  “He can have a piece of me.” It was Samantha’s voice again.

  “Everyone’s had a piece of you!” Carmen snapped back.

  They moved down the aisle of books and out of earshot. My ears and neck were burning, and I realized I had been squeezing my eyes shut the whole time. Even though I heard what they said, I couldn’t really process enough to make any sense out of all of it. Mostly I wondered what else Mayra might have told other people about me.

  The more I thought about it, the more I didn’t like the idea. I knew I would see her later, but I didn’t know if I would be able to confront her on the ride home.

  “You all right?” Mayra asked as we pulled into my driveway.

  I just shrugged.

  “You’re quiet even for you,” she said with a smile.

  I knew she was trying to lighten things up, but I was still feeling odd. I just shrugged again, poked at the fish shape on the door, and got out of the car. I knew I felt pissed off; I just wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do about it or why I still wanted to kiss her at the same time.

  “Matthew? What is it?” She stopped in front of me, blocking my way down the sidewalk to the front door. “Did someone say something to you today?”

  “Not exactly,” I mumbled.

  “What, then?”

  I glanced up at her, my eyes narrowed, then looked away and walked around her to the front door. I could hear her footsteps behind me as I turned the key in the lock, and we walked inside.

  “Matthew!” Mayra finally yelled. She grabbed onto my elbow and stopped me from going any farther. “What the hell happened?”

  I pulled my arm out of her grasp and stomped over to the couch. I dropped down hard on my ass and leaned forward with my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. Mayra walked over slowly and sat down beside me while I tried to keep my breathing slow. I couldn’t even figure out what was going on in my head. I was angry. I was angry with Mayra for talking about me to her girlfriends. I was also embarrassed because of what they were saying about me, and I was blaming Mayra for that, too.

  She didn’t try to touch me or push me to talk; she just waited for me to be ready. By the time I was, I had already figured out that I wasn’t being fair—Mayra hadn’t been there with those girls. I really had no idea what she might have said or not said.

  “What did you tell the girls on your t
eam about me?” I finally asked.

  “What did I…? Matthew, I have no idea what you mean.”

  I took in a long breath and then let it out slowly.

  “I heard some girls talking—Aimee, Carmen, and Samantha—I’m not sure who else. They were talking about me and about…things you said about me.”

  “What things?” Mayra said. Her tone was dark.

  “About…what I look like…”

  “What you look like?” Mayra sighed loudly. “Matthew, I’m sorry, but I have no idea what you are saying.”

  “About what I look like with my shirt off!” I finally yelled.

  Mayra’s eyes were wide when I looked at her, and her mouth was hanging open slightly.

  “Matthew…”

  “What else did you tell people about me?” I asked quietly. At this point, I just wanted it all out in the open.

  “Nothing,” she said. “Nothing at all, really. Even that was…well, nothing.”

  “Nothing?” I repeated as I glanced at her sideways.

  Mayra huffed out another breath and then spoke in one long sentence.

  “Carmen was being a bitch, like she does, and said there was no way you could have saved me from a whole group of guys, and she said she doubted any of it happened at all. I said she was a fucking moron, and if any of them had seen you with your shirt off, they’d know how fucking built you were and how well you can handle yourself.”

  She grumbled inaudibly and ran her fingers through her hair.

  “That’s all I said,” she told me. “Nothing else at all, I swear.”

  Mayra leaned back against the couch cushions, and my head spun around like the girl’s in The Exorcist. Once Mayra explained what had happened, I knew she had just been ticked off, and all of that had just come out of her mouth—probably in a fashion similar to how she repeated it to me. If that was all she had actually said, then I really didn’t have anything to be mad about, and I had no reason to doubt her.

  “That was it?” I asked softly.

  “That was it.”

  “Oh,” I said. I realized I probably needed to say something else now because I had been mad, and we had probably just had our first fight. The problem was, I had no idea what I was supposed to do or say when it was over. Was it over? How did I know? I wasn’t mad anymore, but I was still a little embarrassed by what those girls had said. That wasn’t Mayra’s fault, though. I couldn’t blame that on her.

  “What is going on in that head?” Mayra whispered as she reached out and pushed my hair off my forehead. I met her eyes for a moment and smiled.

  “Your guess is as good as mine,” I said with a snicker. “It’s okay, I think. I just…don’t know what I’m supposed to say now. What am I supposed to do now?”

  “Now?”

  “I mean now that we’re not fighting.”

  Mayra’s lips smashed together, and her eyes sparkled with humor.

  “Well, I believe ‘kiss and make up’ is tradition.”

  “It is?” I asked. I thought that was reserved for movies.

  “It is,” Mayra confirmed. She touched my cheek as her mouth covered mine. I found her waist with my hands and pulled her a little closer to me. As the warmth of her mouth left me, I heard her soft voice.

  “You’re really not mad?” she asked with trepidation.

  “I’m not mad,” I said. Mayra leaned in and brushed her lips over mine. I could feel her smile against my mouth before she trailed kisses over my jaw. My heart began to beat faster, and my skin got warm and tingly.

  “You really are damn hot shirtless,” Mayra whispered against my cheek.

  My skin tingled with her words. When the other girls were saying things about me, I felt incredibly uncomfortable, but hearing Mayra say the words was completely different. I was nervous, but not in the same way.

  Without thinking, I pulled my shirt up over my head.

  We had never been like this before. The time when Mayra was at my house and I had been hitting the bag wasn’t the same even though we were on the same couch and similarly dressed, or rather undressed.

  Without moving, I kept my eyes on her hands as Mayra reached out and lay her fingertips against my shoulders, then slowly moved down over my chest and down to my abs. There was a slight smile on her face, and I saw her tongue dart out to lick her lips.

  Once she reached my stomach, she slid her hand around to my back and pulled me close to her. My heart was beating fast enough that I was sure she could hear it right through my chest. The feeling of her lips against mine, though familiar, seemed completely different this way. It felt like an electrical current running from her fingers on my skin down to my groin and an unexpected feeling of uncertainly in my gut at the same time.

  Our lips moved together, and her hands ran up and down from my shoulder blades to my lower back. I placed my hands on either side of her face, deepening the kiss and making sure she still had room to move her hands over me at the same time. I could feel and hear her breaths increase in tempo as she turned her head slightly and ran her tongue over mine, which called attention to the fact that I had been holding my own breath, and I had to break away for a moment.

  Mayra’s eyes were wide, and her gaze seemed to be dancing around my chest and stomach. In a flash, she let go of me and grabbed the hem of her shirt.

  “Mayra…” I whispered, not really sure what it was I wanted to communicate to her.

  “It’s only fair,” she replied softly before she pulled her T-shirt over her head and tossed it on the couch behind her.

  Awe was the only word that came to mind.

  My mouth was hanging open as I stared unabashedly at the lacy, off-white bra that was now the only thing covering her breasts from my eyes. They weren’t even totally covered because the tops of them weren’t completely hidden from view by the fabric but seemed to sort of spill out the top.

  My hands moved before I could even think about what they were doing.

  My fingers trailed up from her wrists to her shoulders and then slowly traversed the thin straps that held the scrap of fabric covering her. There was a small birthmark just to the side of the strap on her right, which was, oddly enough, slightly fish-shaped—just like the little mark in the door of her car. Without thinking, I poked it softly with the tip of my index finger.

  Mayra giggled, and the sound made my heart beat faster.

  Following the line of the strap, my finger traced over her skin, moving down slowly until it was right over where her flesh curved and rose up. I glanced at her face and saw her lips slightly parted with the corners still turned up. Dropping my gaze back to my hand, I continued down to the smooth, soft skin over the top of her breast.

  My hands were shaking a little, and I couldn’t believe how soft her skin felt. I stopped right at the little dip between her breasts and took a long, shaky breath. Then I repeated the action with my other hand, again stopping at the dip between.

  I let out a long breath and glanced at Mayra, wondering what I was supposed to do next. I would have been perfectly happy just looking at her for the rest of the afternoon, but I was pretty sure she was expecting more, which also made me wonder just how much more she might want.

  “I’m…I’m not ready to…to…” I stammered.

  “Shh…” Mayra put a finger over my mouth. “Just kiss me—we don’t have to do anything else.”

  That suited me just fine, and as our bodies came together along with our lips, I pressed against the soft warmth of her skin and wondered if there was such a thing as karma and if I was finally on the right side of it. Mayra’s hands roamed over my back and arms, and I just wrapped my arms around her and concentrated on the feeling of her breasts pressed against my bare chest like that. It sweetened the kisses, and I felt like everything was finally just…right.

  I might not have been ready to have sex, but making out with a half-naked Mayra was a win all the way.

  Chapter 14—A Watch is a Bad Substitute for a Ring

  “No Ma
yra?” Travis walked into the kitchen with Chinese carryout in a large bag and started pulling cardboard containers out of it. I couldn’t tell from his tone if he was happy about her lack of presence or just curious.

  “Her team has practice late today,” I told him.

  “I thought you usually watched,” Travis said.

  “I do,” I replied, “but I knew you were bringing dinner, so I only watched the first part. If they get done in time, she’ll be over later, but she said not to get her anything. She really doesn’t like Chinese food.”

  “She ain’t right,” Travis said with a snicker. “Did you get to second base yet?”

  “I don’t even know what that means,” I said with a shake of my head. Travis had completely gotten over any reservations he had about Mayra and I being physical and had turned it into conversations I didn’t really want to have with him. Still, even though he’d ask me questions, he wasn’t too good at answering any of mine. He left that to Bethany.

  “Have you touched her tits yet?”

  “Travis!” I wasn’t about to answer that even though I really hadn’t, not any more than the very tops of them. I did manage to touch Mayra’s birthmark almost every time we made out, at least. It always made her laugh, but she didn’t seem to mind. Sometimes when we were at school, I’d think about it and want to touch it. I knew I couldn’t, and I’d usually end up with the teacher calling on me about that time, and I wouldn’t know what question had been asked.

  Travis laughed and dug into a pile of Lo Mein. Just as I started dishing out rice, the phone rang, and I grabbed the receiver off the hook, expecting it to be Mayra. It wasn’t her, though—it was Megan’s doctor.

  “The new medication seems to be having a little bit of an effect,” Dr. Harris said. “I’m really looking forward to seeing how she reacts to you tomorrow. I have some forms and such for you to sign as well.”

  I looked up at the calendar and couldn’t believe I had forgotten tomorrow was my visit with Megan. With everything else that had been going on, I had completely lost track of time. As soon as I hung up, I had a serious load of guilt churning around in my stomach.