by Elena Aitken
The butterflies camped out in my belly fluttered about. I tried to catch my breath as heat chased over the surface of my skin.
“No. I suppose not.”
“Did you get my text?”
Okay, so we were jumping straight into the deep end of this conversation.
“Yes.” My voice was raspy, and that annoyed me.
I let my gaze coast over Caden’s face. He was different than the boy I knew, sharpened and edged. He still had those intense green eyes that bored into me with thick lashes that weren’t really fair for a man to have. His dark hair was rumpled. His faded black jeans hugged his fit thighs like a caress, and his charcoal gray T-shirt did nothing to hide the muscled planes of his chest. He totally had a mysterious rock star vibe, and I couldn’t even believe we were standing in the same room.
“Can we try again?”
His question dropped into the silence, sending ripples through the electrified space around us. Time felt suspended as we stared at each other, and my heart went thump, thump, thump.
I didn’t realize I’d stepped toward him until I heard his breath hiss between his teeth. Then I was folded into his arms in a full-body clench.
The very second his arms came fully around me, I nearly moaned in relief. Caden’s absence in my life had been the equivalent of an emotional burr in my side. I’d moved on, but I’d missed him. It had been hard not to think of him when he rocketed to fame, and I knew he lived in the same city as me. Before he’d found me a few months ago, the last time I’d seen him, he was sneaking out of my bedroom window, and I leaned out to kiss him good night.
What I didn’t know that night was the court would finalize his parents’ divorce the following day, and his mother would move away with him. He broke up with me over the phone.
As we stood there in his childhood home, this man who’d been honed and hardened in the time we’d been apart, simply held me. Words couldn’t serve this moment well. It felt as if our bodies were communicating with each other.
I missed you.
I never forgot you.
I needed you.
I’m here.
They say not many people get to experience true love. Even though I didn’t know what happened twelve years ago, even though I felt betrayed because Caden broke up with me, I’d never forgotten the halcyon days of our short-lived and young love.
Caden murmured something as his hand slid up my back in a heated pass. His fingers laced into my hair as he cupped the back of my head. I took a shuddery breath and finally lifted my head. His eyes searched mine. The space between us felt crowded with feelings.
“I missed you,” he said gruffly, forming words our bodies had already communicated.
“I missed you too.” My voice came out frayed, ragged at the edges with emotion. This startling reality that Caden was here with me and actually wanted me, sent a storm spinning inside me.
“I wish I’d tried to find you sooner. I wasn’t in Seattle that often with touring, but you were right there.”
My heart twisted, but there was nothing to be done.
“How come I couldn’t find you online? Not many people can manage to stay off the radar.”
“It was nothing big. I got married and changed my name. That’s it.”
Caden stayed quiet, but I could practically see the gears start to grind in his thoughts. He arched a brow, almost imperiously. The boy I had once known was such a man now. So confident, so hardened. So incredibly sexy.
“Why? You have such a good last name,” he commented, just as I was about to derail into wanting to tackle him right here and now.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t think about it too hard. As you can see, I changed it back.”
His eyes darkened. “You did.”
Caden
“Brynn Sparks,” I murmured right before I brushed my lips across hers.
I was trying to take things slow, but it was hard, much harder than I’d imagined. To have Brynn here, to finally be back with my girl and to have spoken my feelings aloud was almost overwhelming.
There was that, and the fact that my need for her was like a mountain river after a thaw, the water rushing at a breakneck pace downhill. Like always, everything with Brynn tangled into itself, vines twining around each other and strengthening the binds tying us together.
Her body was soft and yielding as I slid my hand down her back to cup her luscious bottom. The feel of her sweet curves had me mindless with lust. Sensation roared through me, threatening to overtake everything.
Brynn’s tongue glided against mine, and I let go as desire galloped through me. Our kiss was a tangle of lips, teeth, and tongue, and I couldn’t get enough of the feel of her.
All my plans about how I intended to handle this washed away in the current of this intense and exactly right connection. This was no slow seduction, and there was no chance to talk. We ripped through the pages of our past into the future. That crazy young love we had was still there, the heart of it beating like a drum, our own metronome of second chances, loss, and renewal.
When Brynn’s hand traveled down my chest and caught the hem of my shirt to shove it up, I managed to tear my lips free from our intoxicating kiss. “Fuck, Brynn,” I groaned. “We’re supposed to take our time.”
Her wide blue eyes met mine. With her cheeks pink and her hair in a messy rumple around her shoulders, she was so much more than the girl I’d left behind. She was sensual and stunning in her raw, honest beauty.
“We are?”
Her husky voice was like a light lash of a whip on my desire for her. I managed to nod, leaning my head back and closing my eyes as I took in a gulping breath of air.
Loosening my hand from the silky strands of her hair, I slid it down the side of her neck, feeling the wild thrum of her pulse as my thumb passed over it. I kept going, my touch moving down to lightly cup a breast. Her camisole was stretchy cotton, and I could feel her nipple pebbling under my touch.
“Let’s not worry about taking it slow,” she gasped, arching against me and pulling me down roughly to her mouth again.
I didn’t need persuading. Our clothes came off in such a rush that Brynn wobbled and almost toppled over at one point. We stumbled our way down the hallway with messy kisses against the wall. We never did make it to the bedroom. I couldn’t wait that long, not when I found her hot, wet, and ready when I reached between her thighs.
“Hold on to me,” I groaned against her throat after I’d gotten a condom on in what had to be a record speed.
Brynn held on just as I asked, and I lifted her in my arms, pressing her back against the wall. In a hot second, my thick crown kissed her slick core. It was a slow slide as I sheathed myself in her.
My forehead fell into the curve of her neck, and I breathed her in, inhaling her musky scent. I’d dreamed of her scent ever since I’d seen her a few months ago. It was still her but earthier and more sensual.
I pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses along her jawline as I stroked into her again and again, growling in satisfaction when she whimpered and moaned my name. When I felt tremors run through her body, I reached between us and circled my thumb over her swollen clit. She cried my name as she flew apart in my arms, her rippling clench tugging me over the edge. My balls tightened, and electricity sizzled up my spine before my release slammed through me.
“That’s a crazy schedule, Caden,” Brynn said.
“It’s my life. Obviously, we had no idea we’d take off.” I was referring to my band and the fact that this year was the first year in three that I hadn’t been traveling for most of it. I’d started the band as a lark, but something gelled. We loved to play together, but it was pure chance that a producer stopped by for a low-key show at a bar in Seattle.
We were sitting on the couch, the same sectional that had been here when I was in high school. In the time since I’d been back in Alaska, I’d discovered my father hadn’t wasted time on redecorating. Brynn held a glass of wine and sat cross-legged besid
e me. She was wearing one of my T-shirts, which dwarfed her. I loved seeing her in my shirt with her brown hair mussed and her cheeks still flushed from our encounter earlier. We’d ordered pizza from the same place we’d gone to the other night. It was as good as promised.
I was content for the first time in a long time.
“If you knew you guys would take off, would you do it all over again?” she prompted.
I didn’t hesitate. “Absolutely. There is a definite downside to fame, but I love playing, and I’m really tight with everyone in the band.”
Brynn lowered her wineglass and set it on the coffee table. She shimmied closer to me, reaching for my hand and tangling her fingers in mine. “I’m glad you tried to find me.”
Her eyes searched mine. Meanwhile, my heart was thumping along in my chest. Obviously, I’d wanted to find Brynn, yet a corner of my heart had wondered how I would feel when I saw her. The years between had changed us both. I’d worried the sully of superficial fame might have changed me too much.
“I’m glad too,” I murmured.
Brynn’s lips twisted to the side, and she let out a shuddery sigh. “I didn’t know what to think. I understood you had to move, but somehow, I thought we’d never break up. Which is silly and such a drama-teen thing to think. I assumed it didn’t mean as much to you as me. Now that I’ve lived away from here, I have enough sense to realize we were too young and trying to seriously do a long-distance relationship then would’ve been nuts.”
She went quiet for a moment, her eyes searching mine. Only Brynn could make me feel as if she could see right into my soul.
“How do you really know you want this?”
“Trust me. I know. I thought of you often, but my life was crazy. When I came across that card, I decided there was only one way I could ever stop wondering.”
Brynn
“So how come you took a break?” I asked.
Caden eyed me, just long enough I sensed he wasn’t comfortable with the answer. His hand rested on my thigh where I sat with my legs crossed beside him on the couch. His thumb caught the edge of his T-shirt, the one I was wearing. He idly rubbed the fabric between his fingers.
“Wes almost died. That’s why we’re on a break.”
His words came out slowly, as if he had to think to form each one. His dark lashes swept up to look at me.
“I’m so sorry. Is he okay?”
Caden kept rubbing the fabric between his fingers and then released it, his palm landing in a warm curve over my thigh. “He’s alive, and he’s getting help.” He paused, studying me. “This isn’t public information, so please keep it private.”
“Of course,” I said hurriedly. “I wouldn’t say anything.” I paused, watching Caden and seeing the lingering traces of worry and sadness in his eyes. “He’s your friend. I’m so sorry. I hope he’ll be okay.”
Caden looked back at me before leaning over and resting his head on my shoulder. Curling my arm around his neck, I lightly ran my fingers through his silky hair. I loved it, but it was really unfair for a man to have such lovely hair. He sighed. “It’s been a long year. It was no big surprise. Wes fell into using opiates. He injured his hand during a fall biking—because he’s a health nut—and they prescribed painkillers during his recovery. He hid it for a while, but he got hooked. Next thing we knew, he was playing too loose with them and almost died.”
Caden’s shoulders shook slightly as he took a ragged breath. I could feel his pain with every breath I took. I kept sliding my fingers through his hair. I couldn’t fix this, but I could hold him close and provide what comfort I could.
“He’s okay. That’s what matters,” I murmured.
“I know, but it was fucking scary,” he mumbled into my neck.
“Will you come to Seattle with me to meet everyone?” He lifted his head, his eyes locking to mine instantly.
I opened my mouth and then snapped it shut. I felt as if I’d been dropped on a train already speeding down the tracks, and I didn’t know how to slow it down. “Caden, I don’t know when I’ll be back in Seattle again. I’d love to meet your friends, but—”
He shook his head sharply, angling to face me more directly and cupping my cheeks with his palms. “This isn’t just a one-off for me, Brynn. You have to know that. I came back to find you, to find us again.”
My stomach flipped. Caden was so far from the young boy I’d known, laughing and carefree. The look in his eyes was intense, and I didn’t doubt he meant every word.
“I never forgot you,” he insisted.
My heartbeat kicked hard, and blood rushed through my ears. Swallowing, I stared at him and gave my head a little shake. “I don’t know. It feels crazy to jump into this that fast.”
“Not really. I know you.”
Caden’s palms slid down, one coming to rest just over my collarbone where his thumb traced an idle path and the other brushing back my messy curls. My mind was spinning with all the anxieties pinging through my body. When he pulled me onto his lap, I tucked my head against his neck and just breathed him in. He was my touchstone, and I couldn’t believe I’d ever doubted that.
His palm slid down farther, splaying possessively on my hip. When I finally lifted my head and met his eyes, my heart gave a resounding kick. It was as if it recognized him and knew he was the only one who’d ever held claim to me.
“Okay, but if this goes sideways again, I don’t know what I’ll do.” My voice came out in a ragged whisper.
Caden lifted his shoulder slightly, his intent gaze coasting over me. “Maybe we were only sixteen, but I still broke your heart. I hate that.”
Lifting a hand, I trailed my fingertips along the edge of his jaw, the shadow of stubble prickling my skin. “Now, we get to fall in love all over again.”
Then his lips were brushing over mine, and we tumbled into the fire again.
Caden
Six months later - Seattle
Brynn’s dark lashes brushed her cheeks. “Brynn,” I whispered.
Those lashes lifted, and her blue eyes collided with mine. Fuck me. I was so jaded. Yet despite all that, I found my way back to the one girl who could make me forget the rest of it.
She cocked her head to the side, her dimple peeking out as a slow smile stretched across her face. “Yes?”
“I’m glad you sent me that card.”
“The Christmas card?”
“Absolutely. If I hadn’t found it, I might not’ve looked for you.”
She placed her palm on my chest over my heart, and it banged against my ribs, trying to get closer to her. Because being with her was the only time I felt like my whole self. The boy I’d once been was dragged forward into the present. I was still cynical and guarded my privacy fiercely, yet I loved Brynn. With her, I could remember who I was behind the bright lights of fame that could be blinding.
We were still picking our way through this, and she’d finally come to Seattle with me. I’d spent most of the past six months in Willow Brook. I’d needed to travel to Seattle a few times to check in on things, but with the band on break, the time had been a blessing for us. She was having somewhat of a reaction to my world here.
Brynn’s teeth sank into her bottom lip. “How are we going to do this? Your life is nothing like mine. I mean, you’re famous and rich.”
She gestured around my living room. I caught a wayward lock of her hair with the sun glinting on it and twined it around my fingers. My eyes coasted over her freckles, and I dipped my head to kiss one before replying, “It doesn’t matter. This is just the surface of my life. You can have your flowers, and I’ll go back to playing music how I like it. We are the touchstone. The rest is superficial,” I insisted.
Brynn
Another six months later – Alaska
Caden’s arm was warm where it rested over my shoulder. We were watching a movie on Christmas Eve at his place. Although it was his old childhood home, he’d hired Amelia and Lucy to renovate the place down to every nail, or so it seemed. Th
e space was modern, open and airy now. Even though it had been a full year, sometimes I still had to pinch myself to believe this was real and that we were together. He reached for the bowl of popcorn that I held on my lap, and I swatted his hands away. “You’ve eaten almost all of it.”
I felt the rumble of his chuckle against my shoulder reverberating through my body, spinning into the ever-present desire that hummed whenever we were close.
“There’s more, Brynn. I’ll make it.”
When he moved to get up, I shifted closer to him. “I was just teasing. I don’t really want more popcorn, and I definitely don’t want you to get up.”
“Okay,” he said easily, immediately relaxing back into the cushions.
As had been happening almost daily since I’d finally given into the temptation of him, I couldn’t stop the questions that circled in my thoughts. I leaned forward, angling to face him. “Is this really happening?”
“What?”
“Us.”
He stared at me, his gaze intent and clear. “It is for me. I don’t want anybody but you.”
Oh, geez. This man. He went and said something like that. I blinked at the rush of tears.
His gaze was solemn as he lifted a hand, catching one of my tears with his thumb and swiping it off before leaning forward to press a lingering kiss on my lips.
“I know you think it happened too fast, but we know each other. You were my girlfriend for a whole year in high school. That’s like an eternity. And now, it’s been another year.”
I laughed. “A year is an eternity in high school.”
Caden shrugged. “Does it feel right?”
My heart hollered its answer by stamping a thrashing beat in my chest. “Yes.”
He lifted my hand, opening my palm and dropping a kiss in the center. It felt like a drop of lava that spun into the heat suffusing me. When he curled his palm around mine and pressed our clasped hands together over his heart, I could feel the steady beat.