by Kate Danley
Eine Kleine Nacht Maggie
By Kate Danley
Maggie MacKay: Magical Tracker
Book Nine
Table of Contents
Title Page
Maggie MacKay: Magical Tracker Series
DEDICATION
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Maggie MacKay: Magical Tracker Series
Author's Note
Kate Danley Bio
Maggie MacKay: Magical Tracker Series
Book One – Maggie for Hire
Book Two – Maggie Get Your Gun
Book Three – Maggie on the Bounty
Book Four – M&K Tracking
Book Five – The M-Team
Book Six – Maggie Goes to Hollywood
Book Seven – Maggie Reloaded
Book Eight – Maggie Goes Medieval
Book Nine – Eine Kleine Nacht Maggie
And more to come!
Maggie MacKay Holiday Short Story Specials
The Ghost and Ms. MacKay
Red, White, and Maggie
Be the first to hear all about upcoming Maggie MacKay books by subscribing to the Kate Danley Newsletter - http://www.katedanley.com/subscribe.html
DEDICATION
To Susan Keller and James Calvert
Two folks who always get the polka party started
And my "hubby" Thomas Mikusz
A man who knows how to wear a pair of lederhosen
Chapter One
Sad, dusty pennants hung across the medieval village. The heat of the day lingered, despite the sun's dip below the horizon. The vendors had clipped some not-historically-accurate work lights to their medieval styled shacks for end of the day cleanup. The janitorial crew was sweeping up the trash. There were a couple camps off in the distance with fires going. I guess some people are hardcore into the reenactment thing. I, for one, prefer hot showers and not having to face combusting wood in order to get a frickin' cup of coffee in the morning, but different strokes for different folks. The wannabe pirates and wenches who filled the faux town square were long since gone. Now the area was filled with real dryads, dwarves, and other magical types, albeit a bit bedraggled after fighting the forces of Faerie. Killian and I stood outside the dimensional portal disguised as a gypsy wagon at the Renaissance Festival.
You know.
As one does.
My name is Maggie MacKay. I'm a magical tracker. Previously, it was my job to find the creatures that hunt the night and haul them back to the alternate dimension of the Other Side before anyone in Hollywood could offer them a reality show or elect them to a major political office. You'd think I'm talking in hyperbole. Have you been paying attention to the TV lineup?
Now, though?
Everything changed when the official organization I worked for went kaput and my partner and I had to go on the run to avoid being turned into marble statues by a Medusa who seemed to be on evil's payroll. That bitch got my dad when he took it upon himself to rob a movie studio prop shop.
But the mighty M-Team had just freed him and defeated a dragon in the process. High fives all around. But we had also learned there was this ancient, nasty ol' war between the Queen of the Elves and the King of Faerie, and Earth just happened to be No Man's Land between the trenches of their respective dimensions. And both were looking for an excuse to pop out of their foxholes and lead a forward charge.
So, for those of you playing at home, the Queen of the Elves and the King of Faerie hate each other. The King of Faerie was somehow wrapped up in an organization called The Bringers of Light and they wanted to play dominoes with the dimensional boundaries between Faerie, Earth, and The Other Side and knock everything over. Listen, hell hath no fury as a crazy faerie king scorned, and Mad King Cole was FURIOUS. On the other end of the spectrum, the vampires, led by an asshole named Vaclav, wanted to tear down the dimensional boundary between The Dark Dimension, The Other Side, and Earth.
Complicating all of this, the Queen of the Elves went batshit crazy. She got caught up in a standing energy loop with an evil dimension and some of the bad vibes seemed to have stuck to her brain like white dog fur on a black wool coat. She had the hots for my partner. It had been building for a couple centuries. But now that all her empathy was gone, she had made the executive decision that if he wouldn't have her, she'd make sure nobody could have him, even if it killed him. And she was probably going to kill him.
That being said, about five minutes ago, Killian laid all the cards he had up his sleeve on the table. He informed me that he had made his own executive decision. He wasn't going to marry the Queen of the Elves. The end. Full stop. And that meant that he — meaning "we" — were on the run.
The thing is, if he hoped to survive this particular game of hide-and-seek, Killian needed to hide his energy signature. All elves are connected to the queen and she can feel each of them through the divine energy of the universe. Kumbaya, my friends. So, Killian got this amulet with this speck of... I don't know what to call it... "void" inside. It was this spot of black nothingness we discovered in the elfin forest and it counteracts elfin magic. It masks everything.
But as we discovered as Killian tried to lay ye olde glamour whammy on me, it appeared the amulet had some unintended side effects and Killian found himself magic free for the first time in his elfin existence.
And here we are.
"Maggie," Killian said, panic rising in his voice as I lost my shit giggling. "MAGGIE!"
"It's fine!" I tried to calm him.
Listen, you work with a guy for neigh on a year whose go-to trick is trying to control events through the magnetic personality of his ding-a-ling, you laugh when he gets the cosmic version of ED. Even if I had a similar whammy placed on me just a few hours ago by the Mad King Cole. It sucked. But we made it through and I knew he would, too.
"You'll be fine," I reassured him. "It happens to everyone. You just need to relax. You're just like everyone else on Earth, which is not such a bad thing."
My dad was down the sawdust covered path, chatting it up with Father Killarney, a normally drunk Irish priest who looked like he could use another nip off the sacramental wine after the night we just put him through, and Xiaoming, a grumpy Chinese guy who I think spent most of his time trying to decide whether to help me fight the monsters or kill me himself.
Father Killarney and Xiaoming looked like they were drawing out a diagram for my dad of the various sides and all the stuff they destroyed, but evidently, Killian's distress was disturbing enough to cause the fellas to pause their play-by-play recap.
Dad craned his neck around the giants and dryads blocking the way between him and us. "What seems to be the problem?"
I hooked my thumb at my partner. "Killian's magic has been shut down. On account of him wanting to play dead."
"You'll get used to it," my dad said, going back to Xiaoming and our family priest.
"This is a bad thing," Killian replied, placing his hands upon his knees and looking like he was about to hyperventilate. "A very, very bad thing." He looked up at me, his eyes slightly wild and hissed, "How do you live like this?"
His hand reached up and grasped his amulet. I reached out and grabbed his hand before he could do anything stupid.
"This is just new," I said, trying to add some steel to my voice. "It will just t
ake some getting used to. You take that amulet off, and the Queen is going to find you faster than I could find a two-year-old hiding behind a curtain. You gotta keep that magical bit of bling on, Killian."
"Maggie," Killian said. In that one statement of my name, it carried all the fears and dread and desire to run that he didn't need to say out loud but I totally understood.
"The decision has been made," I said. "YOU made that decision. We're sticking to it."
He wiped his face with his hands. He was sweaty and shaking like he had the DTs. He looked around the festival, as if trying to remind himself that there were people all around him who seemed to be getting along just fine. I guess you live however many hundreds of years that Killian has lived, change gets tough. For all his free-spiritedness, the elf appeared to like the world from inside the safety of his comfort zone.
I rested my hand on his shoulder. "Now, shall we figure out where we're going to hunker down for the evening? Or just go apply for a permanent gig running the kettle corn stand?"
"It might be all that I am good for," Killian sighed, tilting his head back and staring at the night sky. "Crafting the perfect blend of sweet, like the life I knew until this moment, and salt, like my tears."
I rolled my eyes. "Save the drama for your llama, elf!"
"I do not have even have a llama to share these concerns with!" he cried, shaking his fists at the stars. "They did not inform me that bovines were part of the emotional support system of humans in my advanced degree studies!"
I gave him a small, comforting half hug as I tried to steer him in the direction of the car. The dude was in it deep. "We'll worry about llamas tomorrow. For the moment, we need a place to stay."
Dad seemed to have overheard me. "Mindy's place, right?" he stated as he and our two other partners in crime joined us.
I looked at him and at Killian. "Do you think it is safe? Should we find a place that is less apparent to the forces of evil? Father Killarney, how about some sanctuary—?"
The priest cut me off with an emphatic swing of both his arms. "NO. No, Maggie. Not again. You want me to bring in the two most wanted creatures in four dimensions to my community's sacred space? NO."
"Providing sanctuary is part of your job description," I reminded him.
"You already blew up my church once," he reminded me. "And we are just barely finishing the repairs. I'm not passing that basket around again! You have worn out your frequent sanctuary card."
Dad saw my brain whirring. "Mindy will love to have us!" Dad tried to enthuse.
"She's about to have a baby," I said. "Do you REALLY think she's going to love to have us? What if a dragon burns down her house?"
"No dragon is going to burn down her house, Maggie-girl," my dad said, waving off my concerns. I stared at him for a moment, allowing him a moment to consider who he was talking to, and then he continued. "And even if they do, we'll pull off that splicing trick you showed us."
Xiaoming gave me the side eye and cleared his throat, reminding me that credit should go where credit was due.
"To be fair, it wasn't my idea," I replied, motioning to Xiaoming. "Xiaoming did it first. ON A SMALLER SCALE," I pointed out.
Xiaoming pulled out his pack of smokes from his pocket to light up, but I pulled the box out of his hand and slammed it against his chest.
"We are standing in the middle of a sawdust path in the middle of wooden town in the middle of a California drought in the middle of summer. Let's not start a raging brush fire, shall we?"
He snatched the box and yanked a smoke out. I held the matches out of his reach. He snapped his fingers and a small flame lit itself on the tip of his finger and he lit up his cigarette.
"How—?" I asked in shock.
"Elemental magic, Maggie," he said. He looked at Killian for support. "She not know about elemental magic?"
Killian wasn't quite ready to be the shoulder for Xiaoming to lean on. "Excuse me, Maggie, I am still very mortal and very much not feeling comfortable in this plane, so if we could perhaps make a decision to go to Mindy's house, that would be excellent."
"We are NOT going to Mindy's house!" I exclaimed.
"Yes, you are," said Xiaoming.
"Maybe we'll just come crash on your couch, Xiaoming," I threatened him.
"NO!" shouted Xiaoming, my dad, and Killian in unison.
"You too tall for my couch. Your big feet hang over the arms, Maggie MacKay," Xiaoming stated. "You go to your sister."
"Should we call your mother to inform her that we are on our way?" asked Killian, trying to diffuse the situation.
I felt my phone go off in my pocket. I was in a stare down with my dad and a Chinese guy and wasn't about to back down to check a text message, especially since the ring was the one that let me know it was my mother. "It's her," I warned Dad, indicating that he needed to back the fuck down.
Dad didn't flinch.
"Killian, get that, would you?"
"Of course," he replied, stepping forward.
"Don't answer it," Dad said.
Killian reached into my jacket and pulled it out. He looked down on the screen. "Your mother says she would be most pleased if everyone came to Mindy's home. Especially your father. She has some words she would like to share with him, specifically about the choices that led him to become a marble statue."
"Are those the words she actually said?" I asked him.
"No," he replied, putting the phone back in my pocket. "There were some further violent euphemisms and colorful vocabulary which, I believe, are standard in the MacKay family lexicon, but it is the essence of her statement. Overall, I would say it was quite affectionate. I am judging on a bit of a curve after working with Maggie for close to a year, though."
"FINE! We'll go to Mindy's," I stated, throwing up my arms in defeat. I was outranked and outnumbered by the fellas here, and with mom flanking my position with her sneak attack, it was time to recognize my Waterloo. "But when things go to shit and Mindy's wondering who opened up the hellhole in her nursery, I want you to know that I'm laying the blame on you. All of you. This was not my idea!"
Dad gave me a kiss on my forehead. "She'll be thrilled to have us." He motioned for the guys to follow him. "Got the keys, Maggie? I'll get the car started."
I let out a hollow laugh. "You've been a marble statue. I'm not letting you behind the wheel until we make sure there aren't any residual effects, Mr. Literal Rocks for Brains."
"I was conscious the WHOLE time," he informed me.
"Well, that just makes it worse," I replied. "You've probably been driven mad."
"Only by you."
"It's my job."
Killian was so done with all of us. "Perhaps Pipistrelle will be able to secure me some ambrosia," said Killian as he dragged himself towards the parking lot.
We all followed behind.
"Do you think Mindy might have something stronger?" Father Killarney asked, leaning towards me.
I put my foot down. Why did I have to be the responsible adult in this band of overaged frat boys? "We're not throwing a kegger at my sister's house," I replied. "You're all going home. All of you. Home. No one is keeping the pregnant lady up past her bedtime."
"We're just celebrating the safe and blessed return of your dear father there, Maggie," Father Killarney stated, scandalized that I would infer his interest was in anything else.
"Companies show their gratitude for jobs well done, especially to those who have worked without salary," Xiaoming informed me.
"Your salary is that we are all still alive," I informed him. "Or did you not notice that there was a gawddamned dragon that almost torched the place and a crazy faerie dude who was trying to implode the world?"
Xiaoming and Father Killarney looked at one another and shook their heads in disappointment that I was such a party pooper.
"Mindy will love to have company!" Dad said.
Killian cleared his throat awkwardly. We turned to look at him. "Some of the colorful threats... erm...
euphemisms in your mother's text, Maggie, also expressed a desire for a quiet evening without additional guests."
Dad was having none of it. He turned to Xiaoming and Father Killarney. "You drive. We'll hit a place I know for a celebratory nightcap. I've been gone so long, no one will notice a couple more hours. What'dya say we see how much trouble we can get ourselves into before the World Walkers drag me home?"
"There are no more World Walkers, Dad," I informed him.
"Party in the USA!" he said, throwing up the devil horns.
"I should have left you as a statue and put you in the trunk."
"I'll give your mom a call and see if she wants to join us. I bet she will be thrilled to have a night out on the town."
"I don't know if that's exactly how she is going to feel about being dragged out for fun and games after what you put her through," I pointed out.
"What I put her through?"
"YOU WENT OFF AND GOT YOURSELF TURNED INTO A STATUE."
He laughed and shrugged it off. "For the greater good, Maggie-girl. When did you get to be such a stick in the mud?"
"She always been like this," said Xiaoming.
I ticked off all the ways I had turned into a grump. "I became like this when you went and got yourself dragged into the barrier. And then turned into a statue. And then kidnapped. And then almost eaten by a dragon."
Dad clapped me on the shoulder. "It is all a part of the job. Enjoy the ride!"
I glowered as we walked down the path towards the exit, but no one was paying any attention to my pissy attitude, which sort of takes all the fun out of it.
Speaking of jobs, as we walked, an unpleasant reality wormed its way into my skull. I hung back a bit and let the guys get ahead, grabbing onto Killian's tunic so that my dad couldn't hear.
"What is it, Maggie?"
"Well..." I said, rubbing my chin with my finger as we walked by some archery targets. "The thing is, we kind of are going to need a job. Preferably one that does not include selling kettle corn at a Renaissance Festival."
"What is it that you propose we do to remedy the situation?"