by Kate Danley
I gave the tips of his pointy little ears a flick. "I seem to remember you know a guy."
Trovac was the fat, elfin leader of a smuggling ring. He had a habit of only doing business deals that benefited him. But I figured that we could be beneficial.
"No," Killian said, waving his pointer finger at me. "I am barely even an elf, Maggie. The last time you worked with Trovac, he forced you to wear khaki, Maggie. Khaki pants. In this, my disabled state, I will not begin negations on which our survival depends with a creature who could talk YOU into khaki."
We reached the parking lot. Dad, Father Killarney, and Xiaoming were headed towards the white, day camp, church passenger van. I guess now the official "party bus." It gave me a little more time to try and convince Killian I was talking sense. "The horror you speak of is not lost on me, Killian," I replied, opening up my car door.
"Trovac is also quite friendly with the Queen of the Elves, someone I am most keen to not have my whereabouts be known to."
"I won't make you go in to see him," I reassured him. "I just think that maybe it is something that we should consider. He has the ability to make people disappear. And we need to disappear. AND, the thing is, he has been smuggling objects of power from Earth to the Other Side to stick in the Queen's coffers. I don't exactly know how deep his loyalties lie, but I'm thinking it might behoove us to control the supply of goods to a woman who is the equivalent of the eyewall in a category five hurricane."
"He is an elf," Killian reminded me. "He will feel biological loyalty toward her."
I thought about how the entire elfin race almost perished when the queen had been held in thrall, but then dismissed it because the truth didn't fit with the narrative forming in my brain. Which was my first mistake, but I'm human. Ish. Human-ish.
I climbed into the driver's side of my car and pressed some more. "He'll swing loyalty our way if the price is right," I said. "He runs a smuggling ring, Killian, and as long as we cut him in on the haul better than that queen of yours does, there will be no issues. I'm sure."
"I do not believe that I agree with that assessment of the situation, Maggie."
"Believe it or not, it is the way the world works." I patted his arm. "Folks like Trovac are here because they believe in the power of capitalism. Black market capitalism. He's got jobs that need to be done, jobs that pay well, and jobs we need."
"I really do not think that he should be our first option," cautioned Killian.
I rolled down my window and called out to my dad. "Hey! Dad! We're going to get Trovac to give us a job!"
"That's a stupid idea, Maggie-girl!" he shouted back without even turning his head.
"See? Even my dad is on board," I replied as I rolled up my window and started the car.
"He did not indicate he approved of this plan at all," Killian stated.
"You just don't know how to read in between the lines." I tried to reassure Killian. "He thinks it's brilliant."
"My senses may be dulled," Killian responded, "but they are not that dull."
"Trust me."
"Before you engage upon this foolhardy idea, allow me to find us employment," Killian stated. "I am the one with the most to lose in this situation, allow me to find a solution."
I hated it when the elf had a point. If the wrath of the Queen of the Elves was going to come down on anyone's head, it was mostly going to be his. I mean, the rest of the MacKay clan would be collateral damage, but if Killian could think of a way to fly under the queen's radar, I supposed I should let him have a go.
"I like my plan better," I told him.
"Your plan is terrible," he replied.
"Fine. We'll try it your way and see."
Killian just shook his head, knowing that my "fine" was as far away from "fine" as a person could get, but he left it alone and just turned on the radio.
The drive to my twin sister's place was relatively uneventful. I mean, aside from the asshole drivers who seemed to think that making the stupidest driving decision imaginable in a given situation was best practices in SoCal. But, listen, after defeating a mad king and a dragon, I kept reminding myself I could handle a little weekend traffic.
Killian knocked back in his seat and was out like a light. Poor thing had a lot to get used to on the whole "mortality" front. But I appreciated the quiet as I mulled over the immediate future. We were going to need jobs, we were going to need a place to live, we were going to have to hide somehow from Other Side folks, and my few remaining belongings now sat in a dimension I was going to have to tread very carefully in from this point forward. I didn't particularly fear the remaining World Walkers, but the Queen had these assassins called Shadow Elves. By the time you spotted them, you were already dead. I really wanted to avoid "dead" as much as I could.
My twin, Mindy, and her husband, Austin, lived in a lovely little Victorian house in South Pasadena. The garden was tamed and the front yard was mowed with precision, although with the drought, it was definitely "dirt lot" chic in the "lawn" paradigm. Only assholes have green grass this time of year.
Driving past, I was struck with the thought that the entire place was as neat and as orderly as their lives. I have no idea how we were related. Perhaps as twins, we had that ying to the yang thing going on. And I got all the don't-give-a-fuck genes.
Though the light was on, I pulled the car around the block to park. No need to flash "Maggie is Here!" in neon to any passersby — especially any passersby who might be interested in finding out if I was harboring a fugitive elf.
I turned off the car and shook Killian's shoulder gently. He grumpily batted it away. Again, a new twist to our relationship. I guess his elfin magic was the reason he was usually as energetic as a puppy who got into a can of coffee beans.
"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty," I said. "You can pass out again as soon as I get you safe behind four walls."
"I do not wish to rise," he murmured, his eyes still closed.
"None of us wish to," I answered. "But you gotta get up anyways. Mindy's house has some awfully nice wards that are going to feel so good once you get inside."
He groaned, but hauled himself out and even I could hear his joints pop and crack as he stretched. This mortality thing was a bitch. No wonder he was cranky.
But all things considered, it was otherwise a pretty nice night. There was the smell of jasmine and dusty hills, an air you'll only find in Southern California. The entire neighborhood was achingly quiet compared to the rumble of my dad's muscle car. It was also achingly silent because we were trying damned hard not to be overheard by any monsters who might want to eat us.
We walked up the sidewalk to the front of Mindy's house. Her big ol' Irish setter was bouncing up and down in the living room window from the moment our feet hit the front walk. The door opened by unseen hands and the dog came charging out to greet us, but was trained well enough not to bark. I reached down and gave him a good scratch behind the ears as he slobbered all over my pants.
My pregnant sister's very pregnant form filled the doorway. She was wiping her hands on a dishtowel. Mom came running around Mindy. She couldn't contain herself. Her navy blue muumuu flying as she raced down to give us great big hugs and kisses.
"Get in here!" she whispered with a smile.
We had all been around this business too long when we all knew a joyful family reunion is done quietly if it is being done beneath the moonlight.
Killian and I were all only too glad to oblige and walked up into the main foyer. Mindy was so big, she had trouble reaching across her belly to hug us, but she tried anyway. The door closed behind us. Mindy looked at me a little cross-eyed. "Mom warned me. How many people am I hosting tonight?"
"You're going to have to talk to Dad about that," I informed her. "He's in a party van with Xiaoming and Father Killarney. They'll be here to pick up mom soon for a night on the town or something...?"
Mom patted her orange, curly hair primly. "I don't know what he is thinking. I don't even have my good caftan
with me."
But I could see she could hardly wait to see Dad again and pretty much anything he wanted to do to celebrate, she was up for. I mean, after she yelled at him for being such an idiot.
I looked down by the door, happy to see my favorite brownie. "Hey, Pipistrelle!" I said.
But rather than the cheerful, enthusiastic greeting he usually gave me, he stood there trembling, eyes large and fearful.
"Hey, little guy!" I said as I crouched down in concern. "What's going on?"
He was fixated upon Killian. He pointed accusingly. "Where is he?" his little voice squeaked.
I looked up at Killian in confusion and then back at Pipistrelle again. "What do you mean? Killian is right there."
Pipistrelle shook his head, his little face screwing up with brave determination. He balled his fists at his sides and shouted at Killian. "What have you done to the Mighty Maggie's most brave partner, Killian on Greenwold? Are you a doppelganger or a ghoul that has entered the house of MacKay? You shall rue the day!"
"WHOA! WHOA!" I said, realizing what was going on. You do NOT want to piss off a brownie and I knew I needed to diffuse this situation ASAP. I held up my hands to hold him back as that little brownie tried to launch himself at my partner. "It's Killian," I assured him.
"THAT is not Killian of Greenwold," Pipistrelle spat.
My brain was working overtime to try and come up with something that made sense. "He's undercover," I lamely offered.
Pipistrelle looked up at me in confusion. "Under the covers?"
"No! No," I replied. "Killian is not under any covers. It means he is hiding."
Killian stepped forward, which caused Pipistrelle to shrink back. He wasn't yet buying what we were selling.
Killian crouched down beside me. He pulled the amulet out of his shirt and showed the dark spot to Pipistrelle. "This masks my signature. It is a matter of most vital importance. We cannot allow anyone, not even my own people, to know that I am alive and here. I wear this amulet to protect me and to protect you and to protect the Mighty Maggie MacKay, but I assure you, I am the same elf that you have always known."
Pipistrelle looked up at me for assurance.
"Have I ever lied to you, Pipistrelle?" I asked. I then added an addendum to that question. "About important things?"
He shook his head.
"And I'm not about to begin now," I promised him. "It is all a part of a case. You have always been such a big help. Do you think you could help us again by hiding Killian from the bad guys?"
"Or girls," Killian added. He oh-so-helpfully decided now was the time to clarify that one detail. "It is a 'she' who will become the greatest problem."
How do you explain that the ancient ruler of all things natural in the Other Side had gone loco? In my best kindergarten teacher voice, I translated for Pipistrelle. "Yes, there is also a 'bad girl' who might be looking for Killian, too. Can you help us?"
I could see Pipistrelle wasn't exactly happy about it, but he was going to play along. He threw back his shoulders and stood a little straighter. "I would do anything for the Mighty Maggie MacKay. If this deception..." He swiveled his head to glare accusingly at Killian. "...is necessary for you and your family's safety, I will trust you."
A wave of relief washed over me. The last thing we needed was word getting out through the brownie network that the Queen's paramour was hiding in my sister's house. "Thank you, Pipistrelle," I replied, letting him know how much I deeply appreciated him stepping up.
Pipistrelle wrinkled his nose as the world settled back into normal. "You smell of dragons. I shall run you a bath!"
"That's not necessary—-!" I started to say.
"No, it is most definitely necessary," Mom informed me.
She had a point. And now that Pipistrelle happened to lay the suggestion on the table, my beat-to-hell body informed me it was actually looking forward to the opportunity to ease out some of the knots. "Thank you, Pipistrelle!" I called up after him.
Mindy, however, was having none of it. As soon as Pipistrelle was out of earshot, she folded her arms across her chest and squinted at me. "Hiding your partner from the elfin people? At MY house?" she hissed.
Austin, having been a member of the family for far too long to not know what was coming next, took the dishtowel out of Mindy's hand before she could start snapping me with it, and walked towards the kitchen. He pointed finger guns at Killian. "Beer?"
Looking awkward and uncomfortable at the tension in the foyer, Killian seemed relieved to have an excuse to disappear, even if it meant drinking a beer. "Yes, that would be splendid, yes."
Coward.
I heaved a great big sigh. "JUST temporarily!" I assured Mindy. "We're going to find a new place. We just need a place to crash until we can get a job and figure things out."
"I have a JOB, Maggie. I have meetings and presentations that have to be done in order to cover our mortgage, and if you call down the wrath of the queen of the elves on our head..." Her voice trailed off, but indicated how much trouble I would be in.
Lights suddenly lit up Mindy's driveway. I was saved by my partners from the M-Team. I motioned to dad as he made his way to the front door to point out I wasn't a complete bucket of fail. "Hey! I saved Dad!"
Mindy settled down. I could see this wasn't over yet, but I took some of the air out of her righteous indignation.
The door opened and it was a huge wash of bear hugs and kisses and maybe one or two tears. When things finally settled down, Mom leaned against Dad and declared, "THIS is a thing to celebrate." She then swatted his arm, which he good-naturedly shrunk from. "You are SUCH an idiot. Thinking you could rob a movie studio blind? I TOLD you not to do it."
"Forgive me?" he asked, smiling at her.
She smiled back and gave him a little shrug, indicating he was TOTALLY forgiven, but was going to have to at least pretend to work for it. "Tell those friends of yours you're mine tonight. I just got you back and I'm not hanging out in some smelly pub with a drunk priest and a man who can't go twenty seconds without a cancer stick."
"Done!" said Dad, kissing her on the forehead. He opened the door and gave Father Killarney and Xiaoming a wave. As they backed out of the driveway, I'm pretty sure they had been waiting just for show. From the smell of Dad's breath, they either already stopped off somewhere or Father Killarney had passed the hooch. "They were tired anyway," said Dad, closing the door.
"Mmmmhmmm..." Mom replied, totally knowing the score.
Mindy, however, was still a little spun out. She released a great, big sigh. "Thank you for saving Dad, Maggie. Again. And Dad? You're an idiot."
But before he could reply, the earth suddenly shook beneath our feet. Killian ran out of the kitchen carrying a beer bottle. It had two paper parasols sticking out of the top. I think maybe he believed the parasols would make an MGD taste a little more like a blue Hawaiian. He grabbed my arm, but it was over in just a few seconds.
"Earthquake," Mindy remarked nonplussed. "So, Maggie, as I was saying, Dad's an idiot and how soon do you think you'll be able to find a new place to stay?"
Pipistrelle came careening down the stairs. He at first was making straight for Killian, but then remembering that something super freaky was going on with him, tore towards me. I caught him up as he gripped my shins tighter than a sailor grabs a mast in high seas. I looked over at Killian in bemusement and gave Pipistrelle a soothing little, "Shhhh" as I patted his back.
"What was that experience?" Killian asked.
I realized that Killian wasn't exactly doing so hot either. "It was an earthquake," I replied. There was no registration of understanding on either Killian's or Pipistrelle's face. "Here on Earth, there are these tectonic plates and where they line up are fault lines..." I realized everything I was saying was still going over their head. "Sometimes the earth moves around," I simplified. "And it feels like that."
"Ah," Killian replied.
"That was not an earthquake," squeaked Pipistrelle.
I crouched down next to him so that we were at eye level. "What makes you say that?"
"It made me feel funny."
"That's what earthquakes do. You'll feel a little seasick, but it'll calm down. Want to come sit with us for a little bit?"
He nodded his bald head and took my finger. I could see him eyeing my boots.
"Would you like my boots?" I asked him.
A huge wave of relief washed over him. Shoes are like security blankets to brownies. The earliest stories of brownie/human interactions were brownies helping out cobblers. Like a Nordstrom's sale on Black Friday to a fashionista, a pair of dirty shoes is just too much for brownies. Personally, I was just glad to have something to calm him down. I sat down on the steps, unlaced them, and handed them over. Pipistrelle clutched them to his chest and toodled away.
Unfortunately, there wasn't anything that helped elves. Killian was still looking a little freaked out.
"It's no big deal!" Mindy stated, walking into the living room with Mom and Dad. She called back to Killian and me in the foyer. "It's just a thing that happens here in SoCal. Think of it as a foot massage!"
"You all right, partner?" I asked, putting my hand on his arm.
"It felt strange," he remarked. He held out his hands and examined them as if to reassure himself he still lived in his body. "Unnatural."
"You're not exactly your old elfish self," I replied. "But none of my tracker senses are tingling. It's just the earth. It happens here."
He lowered his arms. "I usually would be able to communicate with the earth to find out what was causing it to rumble," he replied. "It is... strange... to not be able to reach out to the nodes of energy."
"That's all there is to it," I replied. He still didn't look quite himself, so I asked, "Is there anything I can do to help?"
I saw the ol' look in his eye. You know, you kill a dragon with a guy and it loosens you up a bit. I decided to play along this time.
"Ooo Killian!" I cooed. "Your glamour is so strong! I just can't keep myself away!"
He laughed. "That is better."
I socked him in the bicep. "Only for you." And then I stole his beer.