His to Seek

by Elena Aitken

  “I need to tell you something, Nat. About your grandfather.”

  She pressed her lips together and nodded.

  “I’m so sorry, Nat. Your grandfather, he’s—”

  “He’s gone.” She nodded again, unshed tears in her eyes. “I know.”

  “You know?”

  “Yes.” She smiled sadly. “He came to me in my dream.”

  “Are you okay?” He knew how Nat felt about her grandfather. Losing him wouldn’t be easy, but Natalia nodded and answered him honestly.

  “I am. It was time for him and I’ll always miss him, but I think now, more than ever, I know he’ll always be with me.”

  “So I guess this means that you will be leader of—”

  “No.” She interrupted him. “I know what to do about the clan, but I won’t lead it.”

  The weight of the guilt he’d been carrying around sank down on him. “I’m sorry, Nat. I never should have told you that you couldn’t lead your clan. It’s not my place to tell you anything, let alone what you can’t or cannot do.” He dropped his head in shame for the way he’d behaved. “It’s the Kodiak in me. We can be…well, a little old-fashioned at times. I never expected it to happen to me, Nat. And like I already said, I promise you, I’ll work hard to make sure it doesn’t happen again. That’s not the kind of relationship I want with you. You’re a—”

  “Stop.” She laughed, just a little, but it was a sweet sound. “I know. And it’s okay. Well, it’s not okay. But it’s okay. We’ll get through it. We definitely have a few details to work out.”

  “We do. And we will. Together.”

  Always.

  “But the clan,” she started again. “I’m not going to lead it.”

  “But your grandfather, he—”

  “Told me to follow my instincts.”

  “And what are they telling you?” Cyrus was almost afraid of what she was going to say. Did she remember that her brother had attacked her? Almost killed her? It wasn’t his clan and he really had no say in it, but it would be over his dead body that Liam would rule the Jackson clan. Not after the stunt he’d just pulled.

  “I think the days of one leader are over, at least for the Jackson clan,” she said. “Things have changed so much, and our clan has morphed into something really different. Something really special. Something no one could ever see coming. So, I think it’s time for more of a ruling body. A committee.”

  “A committee?” Cyrus had never heard of anything like it. Bears had clans. Clans had leaders. Alphas who set the standards and upheld the traditions for the entire community. They did not have committees.

  She grinned, seeming to gain strength as the idea took hold. “Yes. Three people. Alphas that together will uphold the order and the values of the clan. Not necessarily the traditions because, as we know, sometimes traditions and the old way of doing things becomes obsolete. It’s time for a change.”

  His gut reaction was to dismiss the idea, but the more Natalia talked about it, the more it made sense. A committee. It wasn’t a bad idea at all. He sat back in his chair and looked at his mate in awe. “And who will those three people be?”

  As soon as Natalia opened her eyes, all of her doubts and questions about the future melted away. She’d known exactly what needed to be done. And who should do it. Sitting with Cyrus and feeling his love for her, and hers for him, had only just concreted what she already knew.

  “My mother, Kristine.” She held up one finger.

  Cyrus nodded. “Okay. That one makes sense. She’s the next in line genetically.”

  “Exactly. And she has the life experience to know that things don’t always work out as planned.”

  “Who else?”

  Natalia grinned. The second was an easy one. “Luke.”

  “Luke? That surprises me. Why Luke? Why not Axel?”

  “Axel is already alpha at Grizzly Ridge and while I’m sure things will be more united now between Jackson Valley and Grizzly Ridge, with a new baby, he has enough on his plate.”

  “Makes sense.”

  “Besides, Luke has a quiet presence about him that I think will be a good fit for such a job.”

  “I agree.” Cyrus nodded. “And the third?”

  She took a breath and watched him closely. He’d just told her how he’d never try to quiet her or tell her what to do again. He’d just apologized for his overbearing ways that had driven them apart. But it wasn’t all him. The truth was, she was an alpha, too. She had strong opinions and feelings and she was never going to be the type of woman to sit back and let her man take the reins of life. She had her own goals and dreams, and maybe now more than ever, those plans were important to her. She might not ever be an easy woman to love. But she’d always be worth it. But only if she stayed true to herself.

  “Me.”

  Natalia looked him straight in the eyes as she announced her third choice, but he didn’t even flinch.

  Instead, the biggest smile she’d ever seen crossed her mate’s face. “It has to be you,” he said.

  “It does?”

  He laughed. “You know it does. Obviously,” he added. Cyrus moved even closer and took both her hands in his. “It’s perfect.”

  “It is, isn’t it?” She didn’t have to ask whether he really believed that, because she could see in his eyes that he did. And she could feel it.

  He supported her. He loved her. He was hers. And she was his.

  The talking had taken a toll on her, and exhaustion once more settled in. She closed her eyes and with Cyrus’s hand still in hers, feeling safer and more at home than ever before, she drifted off to sleep.

  It was dark outside when she opened her eyes again, but Cyrus hadn’t moved from her side. There was something else, though. Someone else. She turned her head and saw him standing against the wall.

  “Liam.”

  Cyrus squeezed her hand. “If you want me to, I’ll—”

  “No.” He didn’t need to finish the sentence. Nat wanted her brother there. “Thank you, Cyrus. I’m okay.”

  She hadn’t remembered at first. Her last memory before the attack had been following Liam into the trees behind the house. But little by little it had come back to her. Including his words as Cyrus carried her away.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…oh God, Nat. I’m so sorry.”

  He said those same words now. “Natalia, I’m so sorry.” Liam approached her bed from the other side. Nat didn’t miss the low grumble from Cyrus beside her, but he didn’t say anything or move to keep Liam away. “I didn’t mean for it to go so far. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. I would never hurt you. Not like this.”

  “I know.”

  “I was just so…” He dropped his head and wouldn’t look at her for a few minutes. Nat waited and finally Liam lifted his head again. “I don’t know how I can ever forgive myself for what happened, Nat. You’re my little sister and—”

  “Stop.” She held up a hand. “Please. Liam, I know. I know you’re sorry. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I know.”

  “But that doesn’t make it okay, Nat. I’ll spend the rest of my life—”

  “That won’t be necessary.” She knew he was being serious, but she couldn’t help but chuckle a little. “You’ve always been very intense, Liam. Maybe it’s time for you to take a little of the pressure off yourself now and go live your life a little.”

  He looked confused, but Nat was so clear on the idea. It wasn’t a new one, either. She’d been thinking about her big brother for a few months now, and the more she thought of it, the better the idea seemed. “You’ve dedicated your life to the Jackson clan, Liam. But you’re young and there’s more to life than this. Maybe it’s time for you to travel and see new things and…would you like to run my internet marketing business?”

  Next to her, Cyrus made a noise of disapproval and Liam jerked his head back in shock, but she knew exactly what she was saying. With the clan, and Cyrus and his responsibilities, and their new life together
, and hopefully soon a cub, she was going to have her hands full and having someone to help her out with her business could only be a good thing.

  “Do you mean that?”

  She nodded. “I really do.”

  Liam shook his head. “I don’t deserve this, Nat. I almost killed you and you’re rewarding me with your business?”

  She laughed. “Let’s be clear. I’m not rewarding you for almost killing me. You’re my brother, Liam, and I love you and I want to see you happy. Maybe this will afford you some of the freedom it afforded me. We can try it, okay?”

  He nodded and she breathed a sigh of relief. He would be helping her out by taking on that responsibility to be sure, but also, it would do everyone some good if Liam were able to get away from Jackson Valley for a little while.

  They spoke for a little longer, making plans to talk more in-depth about the business before their talk shifted to their grandfather and the arrangements that needed to be made.

  “I’ll handle it. Ryker and Axel have already made the arrangements for the viewing, and when you’re well enough, we’ll take him to the forest and say good-bye.”

  It was tradition in the Jackson clan that when the alpha passed on, the clans people all had an opportunity to visit their clan leader privately, say any last words, and pay their respects before only the close family took the body to the forest, where they would bury him and say good-bye quietly, as a family. No pomp. No circumstance.

  Natalia nodded. “I’ve already said good-bye,” she told Liam. “You and the others go when you’re ready.” She hadn’t planned it, but saying her good-byes now, after their moment together in her dream, wouldn’t feel right. It would be better if Liam and the others said their good-byes without her.

  It wasn’t until after Liam left that Cyrus finally released her hand, stood, and stretched.

  “Are you ever going to be okay with him?” she asked with a little laugh.

  He shook his head. “I don’t know.” It was an honest answer. “But I’ll try,” he added. “For you.”

  Feeling stronger, Natalia sat up on the side of the bed and stood slowly. Cyrus was right there to support her. “You know I can do it myself, right?”

  He nodded. “Oh, I know how strong you are. And I know you don’t need me to help you. But I want to help you. Just like I want you to be there for me.” He held her hands as she took a step forward and into his arms.

  “And I want to be here for you, too.”

  He made a noise that sounded almost like a purr, and she let him wrap his arms around her.

  “It’s perfect.”

  “I’m sure we’ll have our share of tricky moments,” he said. “After all, we are both strong alphas. We are bound to hit heads over and over again. But—”

  “That’s what makes it so good.”

  “Oh yes.” He dropped his head down, so he could meet her lips with his. “That’s exactly what makes this so good.” His lips were soft, but strong on hers. She was still weak from her injuries, but even so, his touch stirred something inside her. Being apart from him had been too hard.

  Never again.

  She reached up to thread one hand behind his neck, ignoring the pain that shot through her, and attempted to pull him close to her.

  But Cyrus gently pulled away. “There’ll be time for that later.” He spoke softly. “You need to heal.” He led her back to the bed. “We’ll have all the time in the world, because I’m never leaving you again, Natalia. Not ever. You’re mine and I am yours. And whatever is important to you—”

  “And whatever is important to you,” she added.

  “We’ll be together.”

  Tears pricked at her eyes. But this time they weren’t tears of sadness or frustration. Only happiness. Because despite everything that had happened, for the first time that Natalia could remember, she felt safe. Really and truly safe. And more importantly, with Cyrus by her side, she was home.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Two weeks later…

  * * *

  “Bring it in. Just a little bit more to the left.” Natalia waved her arms wildly to the left, but the guys couldn’t see her through all the branches of the bushy pine. “Careful, you’re going to—”

  “Crash.” Next to her, Ella laughed. A moment later, she clutched her belly and gasped. “Mi amour. This baby. It can’t come soon enough.”

  Natalia laughed. “Any day now?”

  “With any luck at all. Pardon me, mi amiga. I must sit.”

  Natalia waved her friend away to sit on the couch and put her feet up. She was in charge of directing the tree into the Den, and she really did need to focus. The tree the men had chopped down was massive and so far had taken four of them to carry into the house. Of course, they hadn’t managed to actually get it in the stand yet. Natalia refocused and waved her arms once more.

  “To the left.” She nodded even though no one could see her. “Okay, come straight. A little more. And good. Now, put it down and lift it up.”

  She stepped back as Ryker and Cyrus together walked the tree up into a standing position.

  “It has to be at least ten feet tall.” She shook her head in wonder.

  “Twelve,” Axel said next to her. “But who’s counting?”

  She laughed and smacked her cousin playfully on the arm. “I hope we have enough decorations for it.”

  “If Harper and Chloe have anything to say about it, we have enough decorations for three of these.” Luke wiped his hands on his jeans as he walked past and went straight over to the table, where he helped himself to a glass of eggnog Zoe had prepared earlier.

  The Den, and the entire ridge really, had been completely decked out for Christmas. It was beyond anything Natalia could have ever imagined for the holiday. And once again, she was glad she and Cyrus had decided to spend the holiday there.

  After she healed from her injuries, which were much more extensive than even she could have imagined, she had insisted on having Cyrus take her up to Kodiak Island so she could see where he grew up. Besides, she knew he had business to take care of. And even though he insisted, and continued to insist, that there was nothing more important than her and their relationship, his business and his philanthropic activities were important and they were part of what made him who he was. And she loved who he was.

  Besides, Cyrus had decided to make his friend and business manager, Phillip, acting CEO of Steele Industries. It was the perfect decision and Phillip had been thrilled and honored to finally make it official. After all, he’d been doing the work for longer than even Cyrus cared to think about. It was long past time he got the recognition for it.

  Nat had fallen in love with Kodiak Island. Even at the end of November, it was stunning and right away Natalia could see why Cyrus loved his home. The people were all equally welcoming and warm and it didn’t take long at all for Natalia to feel at home there.

  But it wasn’t home.

  At least, it wasn’t her only home.

  More and more as the days went on, Nat started to realize that the only home she really had was right there with Cyrus. Wherever that was. As long as they were together, it didn’t matter where they were.

  Except for their responsibilities.

  Responsibilities they both took seriously.

  The idea for a clan committee was received better than even Nat could have imagined, and with Kristine agreeing to be the resident committee member, she and Luke were free to come and go as needed. There were a few details to work out, but she was confident it wouldn’t take long before everything was running smoothly.

  “Hey, sexy.” Cyrus came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her as he pulled her close to him. “You look like you’re deep in thought.”

  “Just thinking about how lucky I am.”

  “It’s not luck, my love.” He kissed her neck. “You deserve all of the happiness in the world.”

  She turned in his arms and kissed him deeply, uncaring who was there watching.

&n
bsp; “Merry Christmas, Jacksons!”

  The kiss was cut short by the announcement, followed by a giggling, “Ho ho ho.” Nat turned from Cyrus’s embrace to see Bree Brooks with a sack over her shoulder.

  “It’s too early for Christmas.” Harper crossed the room and gave Bree a hug. As such a close family friend, she was practically family herself.

  “No way.” Bree dropped the sack on the coffee table with a plop. “You guys need this gift early. Is everyone here?” She scanned the room and her eyes snapped back to Harper. “Where’s Kira?”

  Nat answered. “She’s on strict bed rest.” She shook her head and crossed the room. “The doctor was here a few days ago and said that she’s not even allowed to get out of bed anymore. The babies are taking too much out of her.”

  Bree’s hand covered her mouth. “But they’re not due until January.”

  “The doctor said she’d be lucky to make it all the way to Christmas. I guess twins are normally early, but these twins are…well, they’re something else.”

  “They’re killing her,” Kade grumbled from the couch where he was rubbing his mate’s feet.

  “No!” Ella scolded her mate. “It’s just more to be pregnant with twins.”

  “Shifter twins,” Chloe added.

  “Bi-shifter twins,” Axel said.

  “We’re taking turns sitting with her and doing Christmasy things. My turn is next. Is there something I can show her? Or maybe you’d like to go in?” Natalia gestured to the giant sack and grinned.

  “Well, since you’re mostly here…” Bree shrugged and dipped her arm into the bag. “You know I think of you all as family,” she said. “My family.” There were a number of murmurs around the room as everyone agreed. Bree was like family. “So, I wanted to make you all something.” Bree was a very talented seamstress, but still, no one was prepared for what she pulled out of the bag.

  A perfect, red quilted stocking with Luke’s name embroidered across the front. “For you.” She handed him the Christmas stocking and reached in for another. She pulled out one for baby Lily. It was smaller, but perfectly detailed. She handed it to Harper, whose eyes welled up with tears.