by Desi Lin
His scowl told me I wasn’t making sense to him, but I kept trying. “The second time I saw him at Michael—Dad’s—he walked in on us looking at some old photos of my mom. Turned out he’d heard stories about her and shared them with me. After, it seemed like something shifted, softened?” Rubbing my hands over my knees, I wasn’t able to explain it better.
“So, when I freaked out, yeah, I thought of you first, but I was still upset and not ready to talk to you. Then, I found his number in my phone. I’d forgotten Michael—Dad—put it in there, and somehow, it just made sense at that moment to call him.” I met the hot frustration in his brown eyes and added, “Honestly, Souta, I’m glad I did. We talked while we waited for you. Nothing serious, but he did apologize, and afterward, things felt easier. Like we were finally bonding or some shit.”
“He rejected you, for fuck’s sake, without even trying to get to know you.” Souta’s volume escalated. “But now everything’s fine because you heard a few stories, and he didn’t leave you on the street in the dead of night?” He lowered his voice as if realizing how loud he’d gotten.
Clearly, neither of us wanted his folks hearing this.
As his words sank in, they fueled my irritation. He wasn’t even trying to understand. My gaze took him in, noting the tension in the way he stood, slightly hunched posture and the clenched fists. Why was this bothering him so damn much?
“Doing one decent thing doesn’t negate his treatment of you, Sera! You shouldn’t have anything to do with him!”
“Just like that, huh?” My voice came out even and level, but anger burned through me.
The pungent aroma of burning cloth reached my nose, and I glanced down at my hands, tightly gripping the arms of the chair, to find smoke curling from under them.
Removing my hands, I clutched them in my lap and returned my attention to Souta. “Just turn my back on my family.”
“We’re your family! You don’t need any other family!” His vehemence echoed around the room, and he stepped forward but stopped when I stood abruptly.
He must have seen his own anger reflected on my face.
“You don’t get it. None of you do. How could you? How could you possibly understand the yearning, the need for family? To have somewhere to belong, for people who will accept and love you unconditionally? How could you know what it’s like when you all sit here with your perfect families, doting parents and grandparents?” My arm swung out to encompass the whole of his room and house. “You know where you came from, can probably trace your line back a few generations at least, but you don’t need to.”
Gulping for air, I rushed on, “You know they existed. People who helped shape you by shaping the ones before you. You don’t know what it feels like on Family Day at school to watch everyone, literally every single fucking person around you, with their families and wish you had someone, anyone, there so you wouldn’t have to stand in a corner hiding from the pitying glances of your schoolmates and their families! To spend every holiday with someone else’s perfect family, wishing you had one.”
My vision blurred, and tears ran down cheeks. “For the first time, I have a chance for a real family, and you want me to walk away because we had a rough start?” My voice cracked. I didn’t care anymore about his why, this hurt too much.
“So, we’re not a real family?” He stepped away, hurt and anger chasing across his features, and stormed back toward his bed, his words spitting out like sharp daggers. “Our Genus, what you have with me, with the others, isn’t real enough for you?”
His words felt like a physical slap. He knew how I felt about them, about him, was different. Didn’t he? My heart hurt as I stared at this flushed, angry stranger. The Genus may have brought us together, but was I expected to actually choose between one almost family and another? I couldn’t do this anymore.
Squaring my shoulders, I strode toward the door. “I can’t be who you want me to be, I can’t give up on a father and brother I just found.” Pausing with my hand on the knob, I looked back over my shoulder at him. He stood by his bed, arms crossed over his chest. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, sure. Just walk away like always.” His tone was so cold a shiver ran down my spine. “Better to have no one than feel something, right?”
With that final spear to my heart, I turned and left, not stopping even as I walked through the door and off the grounds.
If this was what it was like to risk your heart, I didn’t know if I wanted any part of it.
Nineteen
I walked without paying attention to where my feet led me. My steps stumbled, uneven, over the smooth ground. My thoughts spun, circling around the boys, their families, Michael, and Ash. A tornado of thoughts, feelings, and questions with no answers whirled too fast to nail down any one individual item.
It overwhelmed me, nausea rising as my knees weakened. As I stumbled again, I thrust a handout to catch myself, and rough, sharp bark bit into my palm with little notice by me.
“Sera!”
I wanted to go back. Back to when things were simple. When the only person I needed to worry about was me—no boys, no family, just me. Things didn’t hurt so much then. Things didn’t swirl in a muddled confusion. I didn’t know how to do this. How to balance everything, how to be the person everyone wanted. Especially when they all wanted something different: a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, and a lover.
“Sera!”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Freaking out wouldn’t solve anything. I needed to pull myself together. Running wouldn’t either, a tiny voice inside my head mocked me. It was true, but I couldn’t face Souta right now. We’re not real enough for you? Souta’s words reared up and slapped me again.
A push against the rough bark had me stumble forward a couple steps.
Muscular arms wrapped around me, catching me before my knees hit the dirt. For a moment, the merest slip of a half a second, I thought Brooks somehow caught me.
Then, looking up derailed my hope.
Dane.
What? My brain stuttered.
“Are you okay?” His forehead creasing as he held me up.
He didn’t clutch me to him like Souta. He didn’t hold me with care and a reassuring stroke of his fingers like Brooks. He didn’t pull me in to rest against him like JJ. I would have expected any one of those things, given his history.
Instead, he moved his hands from my waist and gripped my arms lightly but firm enough to ensure I wouldn’t fall.
Once, I would have pulled out of his grip, uncomfortable with the touch of someone I hardly knew and pissed he would try to make a move.
Now, his grip made me realize how much I’d come to love the ways my boys touched me, held me. Loved the way each felt unique but important. Dane’s touch didn’t reassure me or give me strength, but it also didn’t upset me. It simply existed, holding on until my strength returned, then letting go quickly and easily.
“Sera?” The obvious concern in his voice jerked me out of my own head.
I met his concerned blue gaze and mentally shook myself.
“I… what?” It dawned on me I didn’t know what he wanted.
Had he been talking? Asking me something?
“Are you okay?” He waved a hand toward the footpath I somehow failed to register. “You nearly walked in front of a bike.”
“I… I…” I shook my head.
No, I wasn’t okay. Far from it, but I wasn’t about to dump on Dane. What the hell was he doing here, anyway? We met here the one time. Did he live nearby? And why was he acting… nice? Shouldn’t he be taking this opportunity to make a move on me?
“You don’t look good. Should I call Souta?” He stepped forward again, hand closing around my forearm as he frowned.
“Get your hands off my girlfriend, Hicks!”
My head jerked around at the familiar, commanding tone.
Souta strode toward us, sunlight glinting off his dark-brown locks and lighting up the tension on his face.
> Dane smirked, his free hand suddenly finding my waist as he yanked me against him. “Maybe she likes my hands on her, Sue. After all, you’ve only got two, and they always seem a little busy with that cute blond of yours.”
The fuck? For element’s sake.
With a growl, Souta lunged at Dane.
I rolled my eyes and heated my arm faster than ever before.
Dane released me with a yelp but stood his ground as Souta slammed a fist into his gut. Huffing out a breath, Dane’s hand went to his stomach, but he didn’t retaliate.
Damn good thing, too, or I might have let Souta get a few more punches in for that asshole move of Dane’s.
“Cut it the fuck out, Souta!” I hollered as I grabbed his arm when he drew back for another punch.
Spinning on his heel, all grace even this pissed off, his dark eyes flashed as they landed on me hurt, obliterating the anger for a second before being buried again.
Still upset, I didn’t bother to hide my hurt as I straightened and squared my shoulders. “Why are you here, Souta?”
“I’m not about to let you run the fuck away, again.”
A mild breeze blew the short, red strands of my hair into disarray, odd since none existed a moment ago. It pinged the edges of my brain, trying to tickle something out, but I ignored it.
“I’m not running away.” It took effort to keep my voice even and calm, the irritation at him burning through me. “I needed a few minutes alone. That’s all. I just— I’m not used to all of this, and I don’t—”
I cut off abruptly as Souta shook his head, arms crossed over his chest.
My eyes burned at the way he closed himself off, but I needed to make him understand. “Dammit, I’ve been alone for eighteen years. I don’t know how to do all this!” My voice rose as my stomach cramped. “I just needed a little alone time, for fuck’s sake!”
“And you couldn’t do that at home?”
“No! I couldn’t!” Dammit, why wouldn’t he listen? Why wasn’t he understanding? A sinking feeling started in my gut, but I refused to crumble, heart wrapped up tight, in hopes of avoiding more pain. “It’s not like I can lock doors there if I need to be on my own for a bit. It’s not my home!”
Souta’s gaze darted between Dane and me, and his eyes widened a fraction. For a heartbeat, I watched as he folded in on himself, as his face distorted in heartache. He wiped it away so quickly I almost thought I imagined it.
“Not your—” He shook his head and glared at Dane. “So, instead of bringing it up, or fucking asking us not to disturb you, you walk out of our house and right into some other guy’s arms?” His voice hardened as he spoke, eyes glinting in the light before he blinked. He glared at Dane briefly before turning to me. I was a little surprised Dane still stood there. “How long?”
What was he asking? I frowned, tilting my head. “How long what?”
“How long, Sera! How long has this been going on, since it’s been more than a fucking school project?” Souta jabbed a finger in Dane’s direction as his volume rose. “We said we didn’t mind sharing you, but we meant with each other! Me. JJ. Brooks! Period! Not some random guy! And you… You’re going behind our fucking backs!”
I glanced around, surprised to find ourselves far enough away that the one woman who watched us was scurrying away as fast as she could. It hit me then, what he was saying.
“You think I’m”—my mouth gaped, throat so tight I couldn’t even get the word out—“with Dane?”
Dane heaved a sigh, the smirk long ago fallen from his face as he watched us. Meeting my eyes, I read the apology in his gaze for causing this fight, for making a scene, but he wasn’t to blame. If blame lay anywhere, it was with me. “It hasn’t been like that, Sue. Matter of fact—”
“Shut up!” Souta shouted, cutting him off. “Just shut up! You’re not taking her from us! You’re not going wreck our Genus!”
The vehemence in his voice made me step back. Moments before I left, he was accusing me of not believing we were a real family, and now, he was pissed because he thought someone was trying to break us up? I couldn’t make heads or tails of any of this.
A bruising grip closed around my upper arms, yanking me backward.
My feet stumbled over the rocks and grass, nearly sending me to my ass.
Twisting, I tried to catch a glance of whoever dragged me.
When I finally caught a glimpse of him, my heart raced, and I gasped. It was that guy I’d seen at school, the harmless nutcase.
I kicked at the guy, twisting and pulling as I screamed, “Souta!”
He growled, grip tightening on my arms, and continued jerking me farther from the open area.
Not today, asshole! I heated my arms as quickly as I could, hoping to burn his hands. He didn’t flinch, and the smell of burning flesh never arose.
What by all the elements is happening? How was he not hurt?
The guy, what the fuck was his name again, hissed as he yanked me closer. “Stop that! I’m trying to help you!”
Was the fucker delusional? Kicking, pulling, and twisting, I fought against his grip.
A strong breeze rushed at me, and my head jerked up. Souta stood, face twisted in a scowl, hand thrust out. Next to him, Dane’s scowl matched Souta’s.
As the breeze knocked into us, the guy stumbled but didn’t release me. Regaining his balance, he pulled me until I came up flush against him, face to face. In a tone too low for anyone else to hear, he hissed in my ear, “I know that necklace. That’s the symbol of Embers.”
What the fuck was he talking about? My necklace? I always wore it, though I didn’t think about it much anymore. Putting it out of my mind and not giving up, I lunged forward, determined to bite the guy, anything to get him to release his hold on me.
“Hands off, asshole!” Souta screamed behind me.
The stiff gust of wind rushing by moments later knocked me to my knees and sent my captor stumbling back.
Souta and Dane rushed to my side.
As the guy found his footing again, I rose with the help of Souta’s outstretched hand.
Standing in front of us, Dane crossed his arms and held up the hand clutching his phone. “Come any closer, and I call the Lex,” he spat out.
The guy stopped, eyes fixated on me. It felt, for a moment, as if he was trying to send me a message, to reach out and invade my mind.
A chill ran down my spine, and I leaned into Souta’s comfort as he wrapped an arm around my waist.
“You’re making a mistake,” he stated as though he knew all the facts.
The guy was nuts.
“You made the mistake, Chester.” Souta’s arm tightened his hold as he spoke. “When you tried to take Sera from me.”
Chester shrugged. “We’ll see.” His creepy gaze never left me. “You don’t belong with them. But you’ll know that soon enough.” He tilted his head at me, as though tipping a cap. “See you soon, my dear.”
He shot me a cocky smirk and raced away through the trees.
Clenching my hands in Souta’s shirt, I drew in a deep breath to still my shaking. When that didn’t help, I buried my face against his chest.
“Thank you.” My muffled words were answered with a huff.
Chester trying to drag me away took only moments, but it felt as though it stretched for so much longer. The fear of not being able to get away from him distorted my sense of time.
“Don’t thank me. I had nothing to do with it.” Souta’s fingers found my chin, lifting it so I met his eyes. I expected humor or his usual sparkle. Instead, the only sparkle I found was a hard, angry glint. “Apparently, you need to thank your other boyfriend.”
“Someone tried to kidnap me, and you want to go back to this?” What, by all the elements, was his fucking problem? I pulled out of his embrace. “Nothing is going on!”
Dane shifted to stand off to our side. He held his hands up in surrender, trying to appease my pissed off, irrational boyfriend. “I can’t do anything that strong.�
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“Oh, yeah?” Souta faced him.
Wanting, or rather hoping, to diffuse the situation, I settled my hand on Souta’s arm.
He shrugged off my touch. “I sure as hell didn’t send that gust of wind. I can’t produce anything that strong yet, either. But you were right there, hand out, just as he was knocked off his feet by wind. Tell me again how you didn’t do anything, Dane.”
“I never said I didn’t do anything.” Hands still held up, Dane’s tone was carefully measured as if he recognized the hair-trigger Souta seemed to be standing on. “I did send a gust, but I’m serious about the strength. I’ve never even knocked over an empty can before.”
Dane grimaced as if the admission pained him, which it likely did. He couldn’t be very strong if he couldn’t knock over an empty can. I’d seen Souta knock over a small pyramid of them once in training.
“You don’t fool me for a second.” Spit and anger no longer laced Souta’s voice, but now, it sounded flat.
What he was thinking or feeling? I wished I knew what to do right now. My gaze slid back and forth between them, Dane’s expression still concerned while Souta’s remained stoic. My vision blurred as my mind curled in on itself.
Between the fight about family, the accusations from Souta, and the crazy guy trying to drag me off, it was too much. My ears rang and drowned out their argument as a wave of cold washed over me. Tears streaked down my cheeks, but they didn’t stop me from seeing Souta’s whole focus was only on Dane.
The shakes returned, and my knees wobbled. I was moments from collapsing.
With a last look at Souta, who still argued with a placating Dane, I turned and ran.
Twenty
My feet automatically headed in the direction of Souta’s house, but I couldn’t go back there. Not now. A part of me wanted to call Brooks or JJ.
Reaching in my pocket, I dug out my phone, then stared at Brooks’ number.