Sanctum (Blackwater Pack Book 1)

by Hannah McBride

  "Easy," he admonished, warm eyes worried.

  With a huff, I dropped to the ground, resting my jaw on my front legs.

  Remy seemed to hesitate for a second before reaching out and stroking my head. I let out a long breath, my eyes closing as I accepted the comfort. My wolf and I both relaxed against his touch.

  "So strange," he murmured, his large hand stroking against my muzzle.

  I opened my eyes.

  "Katy was right," he said, looking at me with confusion. "Our coats are opposites." He traced the black star in the center of my head. His hand smoothed across my head, moving across my neck and down my back.

  After several moments of being touched, I felt my heart rate slowing and my body relaxing as the adrenaline rush crashed. If he kept this up, I was going to fall asleep. The way his hands moved across me was soothing, grounding me again.

  "Are you ready to head back yet? We need to talk about whatever happened," Remy said gently. "I don't want to call a pack meeting until I know exactly what happened with you and Larkin."

  I couldn't help the whimper that escaped me, and I was shocked - and a little horrified - when I nuzzled his hand, not ready to head back ... or for him to stop touching me.

  With a smile, he stroked my head again. "I'll shift and we can run back to the cabin. Rhodes is having Larkin and Katy meet us there."

  Stretching, I raised up onto all fours. I shook out my fur, eyes fixed as he moved back and toed off his boots. His jacket went next and then his shirt.

  I swallowed, hard, locking my jaw to keep from panting.

  His muscles were perfect - thick and defined. The muscles of his arms and back worked as he folded his clothes and set them under a tree. I could make out the shadow of a crescent moon tattoo on his shoulder blade. His hands dropped to the button of his pants and my eyes fixed on the thin trail of dark hair leading from his abs and disappearing under the waistband.

  He coughed and I looked up, startled, to see him trying not to smile.

  I turned around immediately, cursing myself inwardly and trying not to imagine what was under the pants I could hear him pulling off. There was a familiar series of cracks and pops as he shifted, his bones and joints reforming.

  I turned to see him shaking out his coat and was stunned. Katy really was right.

  Remy's wolf was a good several inches taller and longer than mine, but his coat was midnight black except for a small white star in the center of his forehead.

  He finished shaking out his coat, arching his neck to howl up at the night sky. I felt the instinctive urge to join him, my own howl harmonizing with his in an eerie ballad.

  Remy turned to look at me and our eyes met.

  The ground shifted, shook beneath me so hard I wondered if Montana was prone to earthquakes. The sounds of the night died all at once, everything going deafeningly silent. The moon shone brighter, bolder, leaving no shadow to escape to. Everything in my world was rotating, spinning on its axis until I thought I would fall over.

  All at once, something in me centered, and a peace I couldn't explain fell over me as I stared into his dark eyes.

  Mate.

  21

  Mate.

  My heart stuttered over the word even as I took several steps forward, my feet moving without any direction from me.

  No, not me.

  My wolf.

  She was practically vibrating with pleasure as she tried to draw us closer. Every single part of her wanted nothing more than to run up to her mate.

  Our mate.

  Remy.

  Taking control, I forced my legs to be still, staring across the space to where Remy was just as immobile as I was.

  His chest heaved up and down, his large head cocked at a curious angle.

  He was just as confused ... and intrigued.

  It was like an invisible tether connected us and, through that tether, I could get a vague, fleeting sense of his emotions. Emotions that were strangely similar to my own. With it was a deep sense of longing and wanting, and I wasn't entirely sure who the emotions were coming from.

  I flinched as my wolf rioted in my chest, not happy that I was keeping her from her mate. The force of her will nearly sent me running straight to Remy. I was barely holding on to control of my wolf form. If she kept pushing, I didn't know if I could hold us back.

  In human form I was in charge, but for the last week, I had been practicing ceding power to her when we were shifted. Even if I got her to give me enough control to shift us back to human form, I would be completely naked with a several mile trek ahead of us.

  That definitely wasn't an option.

  Remy took the decision out of my hands, crossing the distance between us and not stopping until we were nearly nose-to-nose. He stood in front of me, and I could see the thick muscles of his shoulders trembling as he clearly fought the same urges I did, his wolf struggling to take control and run to me.

  But he didn't touch me.

  I got the sense he was trying to let me make the first move, and however I responded would be what he took his cues from.

  A chaotic riot of emotions ripped through me, and in the midst of that storm, my wolf took the decision out of my hands, not waiting for me to use human rationale to figure out the right move. She stepped forward, dropping her head and nuzzling his neck under his chin.

  It was an intimate gesture, one that most wolves, especially an alpha, wouldn’t permit. The throat was our Achilles heel. Giving another wolf access to that part of your body was the ultimate trust fall.

  And Remy never hesitated.

  Like pieces of a puzzle fitting together, Remy rested his massive head against my neck and I felt something in him - in us - settle. That peace I felt when the mating bond snapped into place seconds ago was back, but even more potent. I leaned into him, letting myself fall into that sanctum.

  I would sort out the emotional collateral later when I was back in human form.

  But for now, this was what I needed after such a tumultuous night. Hell, after everything I had been through in my life. The sense of serenity coursing through me was a drug I needed. I had never felt this calm or ... safe.

  You're safe.

  I heard Remy’s voice echo softly in a far part of my consciousness.

  After several minutes of standing there, Remy nudged my shoulder and pulled back. There was an obvious reluctance in his gaze, but also a resigned determination. The look of a leader who was trying to deal with his own wants and the needs of his pack.

  We needed to go.

  Whatever was happening now between us would have to be tabled until we sorted out what was happening with Larkin.

  As soon as I remembered Larkin, I whimpered low in my throat.

  Remy rubbed his head against mine, huffing out a low breath. He looked up, his brown eyes huge and dark against his black fur, the white star on his head illuminated by the moonlight.

  He turned and took off into the trees, me right behind him. He was fast, and I guessed he would have probably been a lot faster on his own, but he slowed his pace to match mine so I could keep up. We moved swiftly through the trees, across the soft earth until the light of the cabin flickered in the distance.

  Remy turned his speed up a notch when the cabin came into view, and I pushed myself to a higher gear to match his stride.

  We made it into the yard and Remy stopped suddenly by a tree.

  My feet slid against the wet grass as I came to a stop beside him, my shoulder bumping him.

  He looked down at the base of the tree, nudging a pile of clothes with his nose.

  I immediately recognized them as my clothes.

  He gave me an imploring look, basically telling me to change, before he turned and headed for the deck. He disappeared into the shadows against the wall.

  My wolf whined, not happy her mate was out of sight.

  Larkin, I reminded her.

  A second later I was shifting back into human form, crouched low on the ground. I scramble
d into my clothes behind the tree quickly, the cold night prickling across my exposed flesh.

  I had just finished pulling on my shirt when I glanced up.

  Remy waited for me at the top of the stairs, his frame large and imposing against the lights on the deck. I knew that in the darkness I was mostly a shapeless form, but the intimacy of the moment made me pause. A flush worked up my neck, heating my cheeks.

  My heart stuttered a staccato beat in my chest. I stepped around the tree and crossed the yard, walking up the stairs until I stood at the step below Remy. My insides trembled the whole walk over, and I could only pray he didn't sense my anxiety as I approached.

  He looked down at me, a softness in his expression I had never seen before as his eyes moved over my face.

  The pounding in my chest increased to a level I knew he must have heard, my breath catching.

  Remy was gorgeous, there was no denying that. From his broad shoulders to his square jaw, he exuded male confidence. It was something I had appreciated for the last week and a half since I met him. The wind caught his dark hair, tousling it slightly. His mouth was a map of sensuous curves I wanted to explore, and I was still staring at it when he opened his mouth to speak.

  A loud crash from inside had both of us jerking and running for the back door. Remy wrenched it open and we tumbled through it.

  "Calm down!" Katy snapped at a clearly furious Rhodes. A coffee mug was in pieces on the other side of the room. Rhodes was glaring at Katy, a deep growl rumbling in his chest as his body shook with rage.

  Larkin was huddled on one side of the couch, her hair still damp from her shower. Her split lip looked raw and harsh against her pale skin. She was staring with wild eyes at Rhodes and Katy, tears suspended in her lashes like pieces of crystal waiting to fall and shatter on her cheeks.

  I stepped around Remy and went to her, sitting beside her as Remy went between his beta and his sister.

  I sank onto the couch beside Larkin, careful not to touch her when all I wanted was to hug her.

  She blinked up at me, registering I was next to her. "Are you okay?"

  A sad smile drifted across my lips. "Isn't that my line?"

  "I'm all right," she murmured. Her eyes flickered to Rhodes and she jumped as he slammed his fist down on the kitchen counter.

  "Fucking look at her, Remy," he growled. He raked his fingers through his black hair, pulled hard at the ends. "Trace is going to fucking pay."

  "You need to calm down," Remy said quietly, his deep tone leaving no room for argument as he stared hard at Rhodes.

  Rhodes' chest heaved and he opened his mouth to start talking, but I beat him to it.

  "You're scaring her," I told him softly, a hint of a warning in my voice.

  The angrier Rhodes got, the more Larkin tried to melt into the couch. Her body was trembling with fear and stress and God knew what else. She had been through enough tonight, and I wouldn’t have him scaring her, too.

  Eyes wide, Rhodes took a couple steps towards Larkin who visibly tensed. She braced her heels on the edge of the sofa and pushed her back deeper into the cushions.

  I got to my feet between them, blocking her from his view and him from hers. "Back off," I ordered. I knew Rhodes wouldn't hurt Larkin, but I also knew right now Larkin felt extremely exposed and vulnerable. She needed space and calm, not Rhodes losing his shit.

  "I'm not going to hurt her," he said to me, exasperated. He looked around me, his face going solemn. "Lark-"

  "Leave it," Katy snapped, stepping around him to help me in shielding Larkin. She folded her arms across her waist, glaring at him.

  "Everyone settle down," Remy ordered, coming around to stand between all of us. His gaze flickered to Rhodes. "Give her some space, man. Back off."

  With a growl, Rhodes turned and threw himself into one of the armchairs opposite the sofa. He didn't say anything else, but the expression on his face spoke volumes.

  Remy sighed and looked at us, his eyes lingering on me. "Sit down." He reached out and touched my wrist, the act was supposed to be comforting but it felt like I had been touched by a live wire. The sudden jolt had me reeling back.

  I gasped and pulled away sharply, ignoring the look Katy shot me when I sat down next to Larkin. Katy finally sat down on my other side.

  Remy took a step backwards and moved to the other armchair across from Larkin's seat, sitting on the edge. He clasped his hands between his legs, leaning forward to look at Larkin.

  "Larkin, please look at me," he started gently, waiting until her eyes found him. I saw him wince at the cut on her lip before he schooled his features.

  "Do you need me to get the nurse?" he asked first. "We can have her come here to check you out."

  She shook her head slowly. "I'm okay."

  "Can you tell me what happened?"

  Her eyes flickered to Rhodes for a brief second before going back to Remy.

  Remy glanced over at his best friend, who looked like he was still ready to get up and beat the shit out of Trace at any given minute.

  "Do you want Rhodes to leave?" Remy continued, trying to be as understanding as possible. The fact that he was trying to help Larkin, an omega, did funny things to my heart.

  Rhodes growled. "The fuck you think I'm-"

  Remy held up a hand for silence, shooting a warning glare at the beta.

  "He can stay," Larkin whispered. She shrugged and looked away, her shoulders slumping in defeat. "It doesn't really matter."

  "I need you to tell me exactly what happened." Remy's tone was endearingly patient and kind, his eyes soft as he waited on Larkin. "Whatever happened, we're on your side."

  Larkin looked at me, and I gave her an encouraging smile.

  She kept her eyes down as she spoke, her voice barely audible.

  "I had to go to the bathroom. I left the dance and went into the hall. I had just opened the door when someone pushed me from behind."

  I reached out tentatively, finding her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. Immediately Larkin squeezed back, clinging to me like a lifeline.

  "It was Trace," she whispered in a shaking voice. "He locked the door behind us. He told me ..." She swallowed and sniffled, wiping hard at her nose. My fingers turned white in her death grip. "He told me he saw me dancing ... and he knew I was trying to make him jealous."

  Shame colored her voice as her cheeks turned red and a tear slipped out of her eye.

  Remy and Rhodes both looked like blocks of concrete, barely moving as Larkin spoke. But I could feel their rage simmering, dangerously close to boiling over.

  "He kissed me, and I tried to push him off, but then he hit me." She raised shaking fingers to touch her lips. "He tore my dress and ..." She flinched, pushing deeper into the couch. "He ... touched me." She whispered the last words so quietly, I barely caught them.

  My eyes slid shut and I forced myself to be still, even though with every word she spoke, I knew exactly what she meant. Exactly what she felt then and now.

  The embarrassment, the shame, the guilt.

  How completely dirty I felt when unwanted hands had touched me.

  Even now, all I wanted was a shower to wash away the memories.

  "I swear I tried to make him stop," she said quickly, her tone pleading for them to understand. "I didn't want this."

  "Of course you didn't," Remy said, his voice surprisingly calm even though I knew he was furious. A muscle in his jaw ticked as he clenched his teeth, grinding them together. His hands were curled into rock-hard fists. "You didn't do anything wrong."

  "He kept grabbing at me, kissing me. I thought he was going to ... Then he let me go all of the sudden." She glanced at me, sudden gratitude splashed across her pale face. "I think he heard you coming."

  Remy's eyes went wide, and I heard the growl rumble deep in his chest as his dark eyes flashed. "Did he touch you?"

  I shook my head quickly. "No. I couldn't figure out why he was coming out of the girls' bathroom. But he left pretty quickly." My expr
ession darkened. "I guess he wanted to get as far away from Larkin as possible before I saw her."

  Larkin nodded. "Skye found me, and then Katy came in looking for us. They helped me get back to the dorms."

  After a beat, Katy cleared her throat. She leaned around me, giving Larkin a pointed look. "Tell him."

  My head swung to look at Larkin. She fidgeted, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie down around her fists.

  "Trace has been making comments to me for a while now," she admitted. "He's cornered me a couple of times, made me uncomfortable ... But he never took it this far."

  "Why didn't you say anything?" Rhodes demanded harshly. "We would have protected you!"

  "It doesn't matter that she didn't say anything then," Katy ground out through clenched teeth. "All that matters is she's saying something now."

  Rhodes grimaced. "I'm just saying maybe this could have been avoided if she had said something sooner."

  Katy glared at him. "Way to blame the victim, Rhodes," she clipped out.

  His jaw dropped, all the color draining from his face. "That's not what I meant!"

  "Sure is what it sounded like."

  Rhodes looked at Larkin, his gaze imploring. "I never meant you deserved this. I just can't believe this was happening and you didn't tell us. Or tell me."

  Larkin blinked owlishly at him a second before looking away. "Why? It's not like you care."

  Rhodes got to his feet. "What does that mean? You're one of my best friends, Lark. You're practically a little sister-"

  I winced at his choice of words.

  Remy got up, cutting him off. "None of that matters now. Larkin had every right to handle this how she wanted." He sent her a slightly injured look. "But I do wish you would've trusted us enough to tell us what was happening. Or trusted me, at least. I can't protect you if I don't know what's going on."

  Larkin squirmed, more tears falling. My heart ached for her.

  "She was probably embarrassed," I said quietly.

  Remy looked at me. "But it wasn't her fault. She did nothing wrong."

  Suddenly it didn't feel like we were still talking about Larkin.

  I shrugged helplessly. "It doesn't change how your mind can twist things around."