by Susan Stoker
Mary stepped out of the elevator in a daze. He was right, of course. Every single word out of his mouth was balls-on accurate. She had pushed Rayne away to protect her. And her mama had taught her to be selfish. But Mary hadn’t thought she was being selfish when she’d kept her best friend in the dark about what was going on with her. Mary had thought she was doing the right thing. Seriously, who would want to watch their friend die?
But the more she thought about it, and because she knew Rayne, she knew without a doubt that Ghost was right. This wasn’t about a wedding. She’d hurt her best friend, the woman who had always been there for her, who had never asked for anything in return, who had tattooed her own body in solidarity with Mary.
Mary wanted to fall down on the floor in a heap and bawl, but she couldn’t. She had to be strong. She had to face Rayne and all the other women. Women who she knew without a doubt would’ve also stood by her side and helped her, if she’d only given them a chance.
She’d been alone for so long, and had let her mama’s cynical ravings about men and people in general override her love for her best friend.
Mary heard voices raised in excitement down the hall, and she stilled. Everyone was happy and excited. Kassie had probably had her daughter by now. Mary walking into the room would make everyone uncomfortable and uneasy. She’d ruin the happy moment.
Mary needed to fix what she’d broken, but at the moment, she had no idea how. She wanted her best friend back. Wanted to babysit Annie and laugh at the little girl’s hilarity. She wanted to hug Kassie and tell her how happy she was for her. Wanted them all to be able to sit together and drink wine and laugh and gossip.
She missed her friends. Tears sprang to her eyes as she realized that every single one of them would’ve done everything they could to keep her upbeat and positive. They wouldn’t have felt sorry for her. They wouldn’t have made her feel like a burden. She’d fucked up. Big time.
Feeling as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders, Mary turned and walked down the hall toward the stairwell. She needed to get out of there. Needed some fresh air. She would fix things, but not now. Not when everyone was celebrating the birth of Kassie and Hollywood’s baby girl. She’d send a present to Kassie and her baby. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin everyone’s happy mood.
Without looking back at the joyful group in the waiting room, Mary pushed open the door to the stairwell and disappeared.
Truck stood against the wall and grinned at his friends. Hollywood was passing out cigars as if he were a Mafia kingpin. He even had a bubblegum one for little Annie. Everyone was laughing and smiling and absolutely thrilled for Kassie and Hollywood. Even Karina, Kassie’s sister, was there. She’d arrived with Jim and Donna, Kassie’s parents.
Hollywood had come into the waiting room and told them all that Kassie was fine and that their little girl, Katherine Lauren, was perfectly healthy. That had set off another round of cheering and general happiness.
The only thing missing was Mary.
Truck had called the bank and found out she’d left fifteen minutes ago. She should’ve arrived by now. He knew Wendy had called and let her know Kassie was in the hospital and ready to give birth any minute.
He glanced at his watch and decided to wait another five minutes before heading out to look for her. Recalling how Harley had disappeared after a car accident and had almost died before being found days after her wreck had made him paranoid.
“I rode up in the elevator with her,” Ghost said softly from next to him.
Truck looked at his friend, not surprised Ghost knew why he was looking at his watch. “Was she…okay?”
Ghost nodded then pressed his lips together and sighed. “I upset her. I didn’t mean to,” he said quickly after seeing the pissed-off look on Truck’s face. “She was defensive and obviously expecting me to lay into her. I told her that I forgave her, but I was probably too harsh in telling her how upset Rayne has been.”
Truck sighed and ran a hand through his hair absently. He and Ghost had talked about the entire situation and they’d come to the conclusion that Mary had been protecting her friend, and that’s why she didn’t want Rayne to know about the wedding or the cancer.
“She was right behind me. But when I turned to let her enter the waiting room before me, I saw her heading for the stairwell.”
“Thanks for letting me know,” Truck told his friend. “I’m gonna head out. Will you tell Kassie congrats for me?”
“Of course. Are you okay, Truck?” Ghost asked.
Truck looked at one of his best friends, then turned to gaze at the others in the room. Rayne was standing next to Emily with her arm around her waist. Emily was within two months of having her own baby. Annie was running from one adult to the other, chomping on the bubble gum cigar she’d been given and smiling from ear to ear. Beatle and Casey were standing off to the side holding hands. Wendy was leaning back against Blade. Even Sadie and Chase were there. Chase had his arm around Sadie’s waist in a comfortable embrace.
Truck wanted what his friends had. Wanted Mary to turn to him when she was feeling uncomfortable. Wanted her to hold his hand and look at him like his friends’ women looked at them.
But it was about time to admit that maybe that would never happen.
He’d hoped that if he gave her enough time, Mary would come around. That she’d see how much he loved her, that he’d never let her down. But even after everything they’d been through, she still held him at arm’s length. They slept next to each other every night, and they’d even shared a few kisses, but she still hadn’t given him any indication that she wanted to move their relationship from the weird friend zone it was in to more.
Truck wanted more.
He deserved more.
He loved Mary. Knew he’d never find another woman who made his heart race every time he looked at her. She was prickly and had shields at least a mile high, and Truck had hopes he could scale those walls and they’d be inseparable as a result. But he was finally admitting to himself that maybe whatever had happened to make her so wary wasn’t something he could overcome.
“I’m okay,” Truck told Ghost.
It was obvious his friend didn’t believe him, but to his credit, Ghost didn’t say a word about it.
“Are we still headed out at the end of the week?” Truck asked.
Ghost frowned, but allowed the change in subject. “Yeah. Hollywood is staying here, but we’re headed out with the other Delta team.”
“Trigger and his crew, right?” Truck asked.
Ghost nodded.
“They’re good people. Do we have any new intel on the area?”
“Not yet. Commander Robinson is working on it. You know how he is…he refuses to send us anywhere until he’s got enough information to be sure of what we’re heading into. Insurgents have been extremely active, and he’s not happy about the situation as it is right now. The last thing he wants is an ambush.”
Truck nodded. “Good.” He slapped Ghost on the back. “I’ll see you tomorrow at PT.”
“Yup. Later.”
“Later.”
Truck made his way through the room and gave chin lifts to his friends and hugged the women. Annie ran over to him as he was leaving. He knelt down so he could be eye to eye with the almost eight-year-old.
“You leavin?” she asked.
“Yup.”
“Where’s Mary?”
“Something came up and she couldn’t get here today.” Truck hated lying, but he wasn’t going to tell Annie what the issue was.
“I miss her. I haven’t seen her in for-EV-er. Will you tell her I learned some new signs? Frankie taught them to me and I wanted to practice with her.”
Truck blinked in surprise. He knew Annie had a little boyfriend who lived out in California, and that Frankie was deaf. They “spoke” to each other using a special program on their tablets. But he didn’t know Mary had been practicing sign language with the little girl. “Of course I will. When di
d you last practice with her?”
“Last week,” Annie said glibly. “She installed the same program me and Frankie have on her tablet and she calls me and I show her what Frankie taught me. We’re learning together.”
Truck was speechless. He hadn’t known Mary was doing that.
Lately, it seemed as if everyone knew his wife better than he did.
“Mary told me that Frankie was lucky to have me for a girlfriend,” Annie said proudly.
“She’s right,” Truck said.
“I was sad one day because a girl in my class was making fun of me for having a boyfriend who lives so far away. She told me to tell Carrie to stuff it. That having a boyfriend who lives in a different state is tough, but not impossible. And that if I really liked Frankie, I should do whatever it took to make him feel good. And he should do the same for me. I’m gonna marry Frankie, so I want to be sure to treat him really really good.”
Truck was flabbergasted. Mary had told Annie to do what she could to make Frankie feel good. That was surprising. He knew Mary didn’t exactly have a good track record when it came to men, and she’d said more than once that men generally had ulterior motives when it came to relationships. It was one of the reasons he’d been going so slow with Mary. He didn’t want her to think he’d married her and put her on his insurance in exchange for sex.
“Well, she’s right,” Truck told Annie.
“I know,” Annie said with a shrug. “I miss her. Tell her to call me so we can practice the new signs I learned.”
“I will.”
Annie leaned forward and kissed Truck on the cheek, right over his scar. Then spun and headed back into the room to find another adult to talk to.
Truck wiped the sticky bubblegum kiss from his face with the back of his hand. He loved Annie as if she were his own. She’d never, not once, shied away from him because of the nasty scar on his face. The first time he met her, she’d put her hand on his cheek and asked if it had hurt.
Standing and walking out of the waiting room, Truck thought about Mary. He had no idea what to do. On the one hand, he loved having her in his space. Loved being able to talk to her every night, and he especially loved having her curl up against him as they slept.
But on the other hand, he needed more. He wanted to love Mary like she was meant to be loved. Wanted to make love with her, shower with her, laugh with her. He wanted to be her husband in more than just name only.
He’d thought after she got better that their relationship would morph into more. But it hadn’t.
Pressing his lips together as he waited for the elevator, Truck knew he had to make a decision. Continue on like he had in the hopes Mary would eventually come to love him back, or let her go.
Chapter Two
Two days later, Mary watched Rayne, Emily, and Casey come into the bank. She’d been trying to figure out how to approach Rayne, but she’d so far chickened out every time.
Not only that, but things with Truck had been weird. He’d been different since their friends had found out she and Truck were married, but lately he seemed distant. When he left for PT in the morning, he didn’t wake her up to tell her he was going, and he didn’t sit next to her on the couch at night either. In fact, he seemed to go out of his way to distance himself from her altogether.
Mary was worried that she’d lost not only her friends, but it looked like Truck had finally had enough of her bitchiness and wishy-washiness and was getting ready to dump her too.
It didn’t help that he and the rest of the team were heading out of town this weekend for a mission. She hated when he left. Every single time, she worried that he’d never come back. That he’d be killed overseas. She knew he and the others were good at what they did, but something bad could always happen. Always.
Her life was out of control, and Mary wanted nothing more than to throw herself in Truck’s arms and beg him to love her forever, no matter what she did or said to fuck things up. She also wanted to prostrate herself in front of Rayne and beg her to forgive her.
Eyeing the women as they entered, Mary decided this was it. She needed to suck it up and ask Rayne if she’d come over so they could talk. It was time. Way past time. She’d never had a problem speaking her mind in the past; it was time she got back to that Mary.
She was on break and knew she had about fifteen minutes before her boss would give her the evil eye, indicating it was time for her to go back to work. The bank was busy as lunchtime was nearing. Taking a big breath, Mary walked up to Rayne and Emily. They were standing off to the side waiting for Casey to finish her transaction.
“Hi,” Mary said uncertainly. She hated feeling this way.
“Hi,” Rayne responded without the usual friendliness in her tone.
“Mary,” Emily said, nodding at her.
“Do you have a second?” Mary asked Rayne.
Her best friend’s gaze shot to Emily, then to Casey, who had walked up to them, before meeting Mary’s. “Not really.”
“Please,” Mary whispered. “I have a lot of things I need to say, more than I can get through on my break, but I need to at least tell you how sorry I am.”
Mary could tell Rayne was struggling with her emotions just as she was. She wanted to put her arms around Rayne and hug her, but knew she’d be rebuffed…rightly so.
Looking around, Rayne said, “Is there somewhere we can go so we aren’t in the middle of the bank with everyone looking at us?”
Taking that as a good sign, Mary immediately nodded. “Yeah. The break room in the back. Typically it’s off-limits to anyone but employees, but I’ve seen my boss bring some of her friends back there. I know she won’t say anything.”
“Fine. Come on, Em. Casey,” Rayne said to the other women.
Mary nodded. She wasn’t surprised Rayne wanted the others there for moral support. She would’ve too. Too bad it would make it feel like it was three against one, but Mary supposed she’d made her bed, now she had to lie in it.
She led the way to the back room. They passed two vaults—the money vault, and the one with all the safety-deposit boxes. The latter door was open. It stayed open during the day, except when a patron wanted to access their box. Then they were accompanied inside by an employee and the door was shut, giving the patron privacy. It had a thick rug on the floor and a table in the middle of the room. Mary hated that vault. With all the safety-deposit boxes lined up, and the subdued lighting inside, it always reminded her of a morgue, but on a smaller scale. The drawers were nowhere near big enough for a human, but she’d had a nightmare one night of opening one of the boxes and having a miniature body sit up.
Shuddering, Mary concentrated on the break room in front of her. The door was propped open and, once she was inside, she turned to face Rayne. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for not telling you that I’d married Truck. It was a shitty thing to do.”
“You think I’m mad about that?” Rayne asked incredulously. Her brows were drawn down and she was frowning.
“No,” Mary said, looking at the floor. “I know why you’re upset with me.”
As if she hadn’t spoken, Rayne continued, “I don’t give a shit that you went behind my back and got married. Though I am pissed that you’re leading Truck on. He’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met and deserves to be loved more than anyone. I know you care about him, but for some reason you’re holding yourself back, and he doesn’t deserve that. But, more than that, I’m pissed that the person I was closer to than anyone didn’t tell me her cancer had returned.”
Mary wasn’t sure what to say. Her throat had closed up and she felt as if she was going to burst into tears any second. Having Rayne look at her as if she couldn’t stand to be in the same room was the most painful thing she’d ever experienced.
Even more painful than when she’d been sixteen years old and learned her mama had been telling the truth about men all along. Even more painful than having Mama kick her out of the house the day she’d turned eighteen, even though sh
e hadn’t graduated from high school yet. Even more painful than the day she’d learned the cancer had returned.
“I don’t understand why you pushed me away,” Rayne continued. “Did I do something wrong? Say something? I know you’ve had problems trusting people, but I never in a million years would’ve thought that you didn’t trust me.”
“I trust you,” Mary said after a beat.
“No. You don’t. If you did, you would’ve told me the second you got that diagnosis. You would’ve let me come over and hold your hand while we dealt with it. You would’ve told me you couldn’t afford the treatments and we could’ve done some fundraising to pay for it. Instead, you pushed me away and married Truck for his money. Were you ever going to tell me about any of it? Your marriage? The cancer? Or were you going to keep laughing it off when I told you I was waiting to marry Ghost until you sucked it up and admitted that you loved Truck as much as he loves you?”
Mary opened her mouth to respond, to deny Rayne’s harsh words—but a weird noise from the lobby distracted her. The other women didn’t even turn their heads, maybe because they weren’t as familiar with the everyday sounds of the bank. Holding her hand up to the other women, she stuck her head out of the break room and looked over the heads of the tellers at the windows.
What she saw had Mary moving before she’d really even thought about it. She grabbed Rayne’s hand and gestured for Emily and Casey to follow her. “Don’t say a word!” she whispered urgently. “Follow me.”
Without waiting for them to respond, she tugged Rayne out the door and headed for the safety-deposit vault. The safest place for them was there. Even though Mary hated the room, it was absolutely impenetrable.
Not only that, but if the two men with guns in the lobby decided they wanted more money than what was in the tellers’ drawers, they’d ask to be let into the money vault, not the one with the safety-deposit boxes.