by Kaci Rose
It took me three days to call them all, and it really drained me. After that, I just felt dirty. Austin didn't seem to care about my past, but at some point, we'd have to sit down and talk about it. It needs to happen, before I ever get her to bed. If I ever get that chance.
When she comes out of the bathroom, she walks towards me.
"Can we cuddle just until I fall asleep? I'm still mad at you, but I missed you." She asks, as she looks down at her feet. Her voice is tiny, and she looks so vulnerable right now.
There’s no way I'd tell her no. Any time I can get with her, I’ll take. I won't stay away anymore. Not if it hurts her like this.
"Of course," I tell her and sit back on the couch. I grab the TV remote, put on one of the mountain men TV shows, and then lay down on the couch.
She grabs a blanket and lays down facing me and buries her face into my chest. I cover us both up with the blanket and tuck her head under my chin. I wrap one arm under her and run my hand through her hair. I know this is the easiest way to calm her. It always has been, since we were kids. I rest my other hand on her hip and hold her close.
No words are spoken; we just lay there, soaking each other in. Being this close to her, is making my cock hard, and I don't try to hide it. I want her to know what she does to me. Though, I won't let anything happen tonight, not while she has been drinking. I hope tomorrow in the light of day she still wants to give us a chance. If it's the last thing I do, I’ll make this up to her.
Austin relaxes in my arms and her breathing gets even, so I know she's asleep, but I still lie there and soak her in. My phone goes off in my pocket, and I carefully pull it out without waking her.
Landon: You guys make it to the bus okay? She still mad?
Me: We made it. She's almost asleep and seems to have calmed down. I think she's more hurt than anything. I pulled back, because I wanted you guys to work it out, but I hadn't realized you pulled back, too.
Landon: Shit. So, now she thinks we both have been ignoring her all week?
Me: Pretty much.
Landon doesn't know about the real reason I pulled back. He doesn't know about me calling the girls and ending it, and my plans to move forward with Austin. I've thought about this a lot, and I think the best thing I can do is prove to him how well I will treat her by actually doing it. He might get mad at first, but when he sees it with his own eyes, I'm sure he will come around.
Me: Listen, I'll get up early and leave you two to have the bus tomorrow, so you can work it out. Then, I'll talk to her later in the afternoon. We’ll make this right. We have to, or if she goes home early, you know she won't be there, when we get back.
Landon: Yeah, that's not happening. We’ll fix this.
I wait a few more minutes and enjoy her cuddles and her being pressed against me, before I carry her to her bunk and tuck her in. She snuggles right into her bed and looks so peaceful. I kiss her forehead, and then send Landon a quick text that she's asleep.
I will fix this, because losing her now that I've decided to make her mine just isn't an option.
Chapter 11
Austin
You would think the threat of a hangover would be enough to deter me not to drink like that anymore, but no. Here I am, head pounding, and I know if I were to do it all over again, I'd still pick up that drink.
Flashes of the night come back to me. Talking with Ivy, and then yelling at my brother and that girl. That makes me cringe, because there were so many people around, and I can only imagine how it went down. If it's not the front page on some gossip rag right now, I will be shocked.
Then, there was Dallas, carrying me over his shoulder to his dressing room. Did he really ask me to wait for him? There really hasn't been anyone, since I've been back? All the questions make my head hurt more. We need to talk later, but right now, I plan to follow the smell of coffee and bacon out to the main living area and kiss whoever is cooking.
I didn't expect it to be my brother. I was thinking maybe Tony, as he's good at making sure we eat in the morning, after we drink. Then, he lectures us to death about not drinking again.
"Hey, this is almost done, but coffee is ready." He looks at me almost shyly.
Damn, I don't think I'm ready for the conversation. The last thing I need with my head pounding is my brother lecturing me. I hesitantly make myself a cup of coffee and go sit down at the booth across from the small kitchen.
I sip my coffee, as Landon plates our breakfast and sets it down on the table. Omelets, and bacon, and biscuits. This is a suck up breakfast. He slides in to the booth across from me and gives me an unsure smile.
I glare at him and pick up my fork and start eating. No point in letting good food go to waste, when I have to sit through a big brother knows best lecture, right?
"So last night?" He starts.
I just shrug and keep eating.
"We have to talk about this, Austin."
"Why? No one has wanted to talk to me for a week. Why start now?"
"That wasn't on purpose. I assumed you didn't want to talk to me and would talk to Dallas, and he assumed you were trying to work things out with me and took a step back."
"And all week neither of you talked about it and realized it?"
He ducks his head to look at his hands in his lap. "No, we avoided the topic. I did it, because I didn't want to fight, and I assume it was the same for him."
"Can't say I blame him. Hell, I'm surprised he talked to you at all, after you basically shit on everything he's been doing to get his life in order."
"I did not! I told him I was proud of him."
"Then, in the next sentence, said he wasn't good enough." I huff.
"For you. Come on, do you really want to be with a former player? Do you know how many girls he's been with? I doubt even he knows."
"Wow, great words of praise for your best friend. Does he know what a backstabbing asshole you are?"
That seems to shake him enough that he shuts up and thinks about his next words.
"I won't apologize for being protective of you." He levels me with his 'I mean business' gaze.
"Well, I won't apologize for being protective of you either." I lean back and cross my arms over my chest. He tilts his head to the side and looks at me but doesn't say anything.
"That girl..." I start.
"Daisy." Ha! I knew it was a flower name.
"Fine, Daisy. She has been bragging to people of 'nailing you,' and how she’ll make a great trophy wife and knows just how to spend your money."
His eyes darken, and I can tell he isn't happy. He hates gold diggers, even if it's just something casual. When he's in a relationship, he likes to spoil his girl and has no problems spending money on them, but the parasites that are there just because of his money are a deal breaker for him. He's been burned by them one too many times.
Finally, he sighs, and I know he's letting his guard down. "Thank you for having my back."
"Always. I just wish you would trust me," I say.
"Of course, I trust you."
I shake my head. "No, you don't. Not in the way you expect me to trust you. Thank you for breakfast." I go to stand up and take a shower, but he reaches for my hand.
"Hey, there are two more weeks of the tour. You’ll stay, right?" He asks.
"I don't know. I can't do two more weeks like how this last week has been."
"I swear it won't be. I’ll be stuck to you like glue, if that's what it takes."
I just shake my head and stare out of the front bus windows.
"We’ll see. I still need to talk to Dallas. I may have been drunk last night, but I wasn't drunk enough to realize you really fucked with his head, and now, he has this notion he isn't good enough for anything. You're his best friend, and if you don't believe in him, who will? That's where his head is, and it's fucked up. If nothing else, I'll stay for him and be his cheerleader, so at least someone is supporting him."
When I finally look back at my brother, hurt is written all over
his face. But he needs to deal with this, and I won't hold his hand to do it. I turn and go gather my stuff to take a shower. Once in the bathroom, I send a text off to Dallas.
Me: So, I just talked with my brother. Now it's your turn. You free later?
Then, I hop in the shower and let the hot water soothe my muscles in my neck and shoulders. When the water starts to turn cold, I smile and get out. Landon deserves two more weeks of cold showers for all this, so I don't even feel guilty.
I check my phone and nothing from Dallas. I get dressed, taking my time to do my hair and put on a little bit of makeup and still nothing from Dallas.
Me: You don't get to ignore me. I will track you down.
I grab my stuff and go to the arena we’ll be singing at tomorrow. Tony drove us all night to get here. It’s weird falling asleep in one place and waking up in another, but that’s the life on the road.
As I walk into the backstage area, it takes me a minute to get my bearings. I've been here with the guys a few years ago and not much has changed. I check the dressing rooms and nothing. Finding one of the security guys, he tells me Dallas was here earlier this morning and left.
So, I text Ivy.
Me: Any idea where Dallas is? He and I need to talk.
Ivy: No. I haven't seen him all morning. Did you talk to Landon?
Me: Yes, we talked. I don't know how productive it was, because I wasn't ready to forgive him, but we talked.
Ivy: I asked Dom. He said last he knew Dallas was talking to some of the band guys, but that was an hour ago.
Me: Damn, he's good at this avoiding me thing. He isn't even answering my texts.
Ivy: You feeling okay? I haven't seen you drink like that before.
Me: Yeah. Landon force fed me, and I've been drinking water. I will be fine.
Ivy: Well, my offer stands, if you want to join us!
Me: Thanks. I guess, I'm just going to go nap in the bus. He has to come back at some point.
Disappointed, I head back to the bus. I thought we had made progress yesterday, but if he's going to go back to avoiding me, then I guess not. By the time I get back to the bus Landon is gone, thank God for small favors, so I sit on the couch and go through my emails, when Dallas finally texts.
Dallas: Sorry, I was dealing with a fight between a few band members. I hate playing referee.
Me: Fun.
Dallas: I swear I wasn't ignoring you.
Me: It's fine.
Dallas: No, it's not. Let me make it up to you. I was told about an amazing taco place a few blocks from here. Meet me for lunch in an hour?
Damnit. I love tacos, and he knows it.
Me: Fine, see you then, but so help me, if you stand me up...
Dallas: I. Will. Be. There.
He sends me the restaurant info, and I see it's within walking distance, and there’s a mini shopping mall on the way, so I decide to go walk around there, as I wait for him.
We are in Jacksonville, Florida getting ready to do our Florida loop, before hitting the Gulf Coast states. So of course, everything here is beach related.
I pick up some beautiful glass floats that will go great in my bathroom, and a beautiful starfish wall decor piece that’s on driftwood with some saying. My bathroom is beach themed with blues, so it will fit right in.
Afterward, I make my way down to the restaurant and find Dallas at a back table already waiting for me.
"You’re early," I say, as I sit down.
"Didn't want you to think I wasn't coming." He smiles and nods towards my bags. "What have you got there?"
"There was a super cute little shopping area on the way here, so I just picked up a few decorations." I smile.
"Beach stuff for your bathroom?" He asks.
"You know me so well."
He smirks, because it's the truth. I'm pretty sure he even knows me better than Landon does. Mostly because, he pays more attention.
"So, best tacos in the area?" I ask.
"Yep, all the locals say we have to try this place, so I figure it's a good place to grab lunch and talk away from everyone."
The server comes over, a guy thankfully, and takes our drink and food order, before we get a chance to talk again.
"So, let's rip off the Band-Aid. If you’re going to chew me out, just get it over with, so I can eat my tacos and still have time to meet up with Ivy and Dom and be the pathetic third wheel." I say.
If this is another talk like I had with my brother this morning, I’d like to get it behind us.
He cocks his head to the side. "Your talk with Landon didn't go well?"
"You can say that. He basically expects blind trust in him, but he won't give it in return. I love him, but I can't wait for him to go on his trip, when we get home. I need space from him."
"If I had known Landon was avoiding you, I would have been right by your side. I really thought you two were working things out." His voice is sincere, but all it does is make me want to cry, and I won't cry in front of him. I was such a mess last night, but I’ll keep myself together now at all costs.
"Sounds like you were busy anyway, so it is what it is."
"No, baby girl, you know what I was doing? Do you really want to know?” I'm thrown off by the baby girl nickname. Again, I really like it, but I thought maybe it was just a fluke last night.
"It doesn't matter."
"Apparently, it does. I spent the last week calling every girl I had an open understanding with and telling them not to expect to hear from me again, because I was in a relationship. I wanted to make sure to close every door of my past, before we walked down this road." He leans forward on the table and takes one of my hands in both of his.
"We?"
"Yes, we. Your brother has always been stubborn. He doesn't take words at face value; he expects them to be backed up with actions. So, I can tell him, until I'm blue in the face that I've changed, and that I’ll treat you right, or I can do it and prove it with my actions."
My mouth literally falls open, because this is so not how I expected this conversation to go. I thought I'd get a lecture about drinking and not making a scene on their tour. I go off on him for ignoring me, and we'd move on.
Our food comes, and it gives me a welcome break to gather my thoughts, but Dallas beats me to it.
"After the tour, we can talk more, okay? Now, I don't like the idea of you being a third wheel. Tell me you have better plans than that, after we leave here."
"I guess, it's back to plan A. I'll head back to the bus and watch some TV, or maybe, work on a client website I hadn't planned to start, until we got home. Can't hurt to get a head start. What are your plans?"
"I have a meeting at two with Mitch, and then maybe, I’ll join you. Downtime sounds really good right now."
For the rest of lunch, we talk and catch up from the last week, and just like that, it’s all behind us, and suddenly, I can't wait for this tour to be over for an entirely different reason.
Chapter 12
Dallas
Today, is the last show of the tour. I am ready for it to be over, because that means we go home, and then Landon heads out for his sponsorship deal and the meeting with the charity he's helping. He will be gone for two weeks. That's two weeks I get Austin to myself. It's all I've been able to think about. Making plans, things I want to do with her, and places I want to take her.
Our last stop on the tour is Memphis, Tennessee, and this show is an earlier one than normal, so it's before dinner. It's still a packed show and judging by the sound check, it will be a great one.
We’re all getting ready for the show, and Austin has been chatting with Ivy a bit, but her eyes always find mine every so often, and when she finds me watching her too, her face lights up with a huge smile.
The last few weeks of the tour we found ourselves falling into an easy routine. Landon would get up and make all three of us breakfast. We'd all sit and talk and use that as our catch-up time from the day before. Then, we'd go our separate ways.
/> If it was an off day, Austin and I would go with Ivy and Dom and explore. If it was show day, I'd go with Landon and oversee everything and get ready. Then, I’d meet up with Austin again for sound check. After each show, we'd head back to the bus and watch TV, until Landon got back, or until she started to fall asleep.
As much as I love the routine, I’m ready to be home and start a real routine and relationship. I want to have something solid with us, so by the time her brother gets back, I can show him, instead of telling him.
Showtime.
We head out on stage, and the screams and cheers are deafening, and I know my smile is as big as Landon's. I don't even have to look over at him. He starts hyping up the crowd, which he's really good at it, and we start singing.
As with every show, every song I'm singing is to Austin. I guess, it's been that way on all the tours, even if I never admitted it to myself.
The first part of the show passes so fast, and before I know it, it’s time for Austin to come on stage. Landon introduces her, and the crowd cheers. As she steps out on stage, I’m frozen in place.
She’s in a light blue off the shoulder dress with long flowy lace sleeves. She has on brown cowboy boots and a large brown belt at the waist of the dress. Her long, dark brown hair is falling down in waves over her shoulders, and I don't think I've seen her this dressed up since prom.
She walks over and hugs me, like she has every show. This time I pull out one of her earpieces, so I can talk to her.
"You look absolutely beautiful, baby girl," I tell her and watch the pink coat her cheeks. I love that I can still make her blush.
I don't want to let her go, but I know she’s heading over to give Landon a hug too, before we start singing. Like it does every time she’s on stage, the crowd falls away and we sing to each other. Her eyes focus on me and mine on her.
Landon asked me why we stare at each other, when she’s singing. I told him she needed someone to focus on, so the nerves from the crowd didn't get to her, and it would be plain creepy for her to sing to him. He agreed and let it go. While it's the truth, it wasn't the whole truth, and I felt like I was lying to my best friend.