Our Secret Song: A sweet brother's best friend, rockstar romance (For Love and Rock Book 1)

by Emily Childs

  Bridger’s arm stiffens around my waist, as if defending me from the past is his first instinct.

  “Stories gave me a moment to breathe,” I go on, “to live somewhere else, and return to reality a little stronger. Anyway, I had this idea hit me at the first concert with the fire and police. What if I could set up a non-profit library for families of fallen first responders?”

  Bridger’s hand stops on the small of my back. He’s quiet and I don’t know if he’s thinking or trying to keep his promise not to make fun of me.

  “I’ve really thought about it,” I start to defend the idea. “It could be a free subscription for the kids of police officers, or . . . firefighters. You know better than anyone what it’s like to lose a hero, but you had music. I can’t send guitars to everyone, but they have those book boxes people can subscribe to. You know, they send cool swag and a book once a month. But what if it was free for these kids who maybe need an escape for a few hours.

  “They could fill out forms on a website, like ages, reading level, and genre preference. I haven’t figured out logistics yet, but I thought it would be cool if they got a box every month. Something to look forward to in a difficult time. Maybe they would return the book like a library, keep the swag. Or maybe they’d keep everything, I haven’t worked out all the logistics.” I take a breath. “Will you say something because you’ve gone stoic, and I don’t know if I’ve made you get lost in bad memories, or if you hate the entire idea, or—”

  Bridger silences me with a kiss. Oh, my, does he silence me. It’s greedy, passionate, full of voice with words he’s not saying. Who needs to talk, though, really?

  He pulls back and I’m breathless. With his knuckle, Bridger tilts my chin up, and says, “I wish you’d thought of this when I lost my dad.”

  I bite down on my bottom lip. “Really? You like it?”

  “Al, it’s awesome. We could even tie it into the concerts next year. You know, when we pull the families who’ve lost someone on stage, we could give them information. Maybe you could be there with volunteers to help get people signed up. We can figure it out, I’m just brainstorming.”

  He keeps saying we and it spins my stomach in silk. “A year? You think we could get it going in that time?”

  “I think so. I’ll talk to Mallorie. She has connections with everyone, maybe she’ll be able to help us figure out how to get started.” He traps my face. “This is perfect, Al. You’re perfect, and I want to be part of this.”

  I trace his bottom lip, tangle my leg a little more with his. “Bridge.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Five minutes is up.”

  He grins a little wickedly, pulls me over him, and in another heartbeat his mouth is mine. No mistake, I’d be content to stay there all night.

  “Al,” he says after ten minutes, twenty, maybe two hours. The sun has set and it’s dim in the house. Bridger searches my eyes. “Will you . . . will you come on tour with me this fall?”

  My eyes widen. “You want me with you?”

  “When I think of being away from you, right when this is happening between us, I can’t stand the thought. It’ll be boring for you. A lot of cities, a lot of hotels, a lot of shows. But we’ll have some downtime to sightsee. One stop is Florida. They have some awesome beaches.”

  I lift my head and prop my chin over his chest. “You really want me there?”

  “Nope. I just said all that to be funny. Come on, who’d want their hot girlfriend traveling the country with them?”

  I pinch his chest. “Do you think we’d survive without killing each other?”

  “Probably not.” Bridger draws circles up and down my neck. “But I still wouldn’t want to tour with anyone else.”

  “Okay, but may I present a problem?”

  “It wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t.”

  “Parker.”

  Bridger’s smile fades. “Yeah. I’ve been thinking about him a lot. He texted me last night.”

  He hands me his phone with the message pulled up.

  Parker: Dude, do you need to be all over my sister this much? It’s everywhere. If I didn’t know this was being directed by your manager, we’d be having words *smiling emoji* smile more, kiss less.

  Bridger simply sent a thumbs up in return.

  I lift a brow. “So you agree with kissing me less?”

  “I didn’t know what to say.” He slips his fingers into mine. “We need to tell him, Al. The longer we keep it from him the worse it’ll be.”

  “Maybe we should wait for the offseason.”

  “He’ll be here tomorrow.”

  “I know, then he goes to play back-to-back games.”

  “And you have school and I have the tour. When is there going to be a good time?” Bridger adjusts and sits up, brow furrowed. “Do you not want him to know?”

  “If I’m honest, part of me doesn’t. You know better than anyone how he is.”

  Bridger coils my hair around his fingers. “I know he’d take a bullet for you and he adores me even more.”

  “You’re so cocky.”

  He laughs. “I think Parker will be annoyed, but he’d want us to be happy.”

  I’m not so sure. I know my brother wants me to be happy, true, but I don’t think he wants me to do it with his best friend. A guy who knows all the dirt on Parker Knight, and the other way around.

  “We’ll tell him soon,” I say after a pause. “But not tomorrow. And maybe I should do it alone.”

  “Come on, Al. I know Parker as well as you, and frankly, it’s making me a little sick keeping a secret from him.”

  “I can make you feel better.” I lean forward and nip at his ear, reveling the way he sinks into me like putty.

  When his cell phone dings. Bridger laughs as I glare at the interruption. Without fail, whenever I try something usually interrupts. I tuck my head beneath his chin and breathe him in.

  I guess he forgot he had another body curled against him because he has to fumble to catch me when he bolts up and I nearly fall off the couch.

  “What?”

  “It’s Nadia.” He holds up the phone, face flushed. “She says if I meet with her she’s going to recant. Everything.”

  Chapter 27

  Bridger

  At the front of the house there are a few offices for the security team, a small kitchen stocked for their use, and a room where we sometimes meet as a band to brainstorm.

  Two hours after the text, Tate, Adam, and Lance sit at a conference table in our band room. This involves our reputation as a whole group, so everyone showed. Alexis hugs her middle and paces in the corner. I asked her not to come, but I’d like to see anyone tell that woman to back down when, in her mind, people she loves are threatened.

  We’d called our legal team at the label to get advice. Word spread quickly, and Pops practically cheered with glee when he learned what might happen. A full recant after she’s dragged me through the dirt. All he’s seeing are dollar signs, but I’m looking for vindication.

  “Everyone needs to keep cool,” Tate says when silence goes on too long. “Looking at you over there in the corner.”

  “I’m fine,” Alexis says. “Why wouldn’t I be fine? This is good. It’s fine. Do I want to pull her fake extensions out? Yes. Will I have my hands in my pockets so I don’t claw at her eyes? Probably. But I’m fine. This is fine.”

  “Hey Lex,” Adam says. “Are you sure you’re fine?”

  She glares at him, but keeps pacing.

  My breath catches when the door clicks and Quinn enters, a scowl on his face.

  Nadia materializes behind him, and pats his shoulder. “Thanks, Quinn.”

  He grunts in response.

  Nadia locks in on me right away. She pops a hip and the skin-tight skirt rides up her thigh. With a grin, she tosses her raven wing hair off one shoulder, but her eyes lift and her plump, red lips curve into a frown. “B, I thought we’d be talking alone.”

  “You thought wrong,” Tate snaps. “N
o man in his right mind would ever be alone with you.”

  She looks to me for help. There’s none to find. I gesture to the chair across from me. “Sit down, Nadia.”

  We wait as Nadia sits, her skirt hardly covering her hip when she crosses her leg. Her eyes drink in the room until she finds Alexis. “What’s your image fixer doing here?”

  “She’s my girlfriend.”

  “Whatever, B.” Nadia laughs. “I know how your people work, and I know you two are weird childhood friends. No need for pretenses.”

  “No pretenses,” I say. “Alexis is my girlfriend, but we’re not here to talk about that. You came to recant according to your text.”

  Nadia’s mouth parts and she schools her glare at me. “You’re serious? What the heck, Bridger. I came here to clear the air with us and you’re just now telling me you’re with her?”

  “What does it matter to you?” I bite back.

  “It matters because I’m different now. We’re in better places.”

  She’s making little sense.

  Alexis laughs with a touch of bitterness. “Amazing. You’re a piece of work Nadia, really, you are unbelievable.” Alexis grins at me, then rolls her eyes when I give her a bemused look. I have no idea what she’s talking about. Alexis points at Nadia, a cruel smile on her lips. “She’s here to reconcile, Bridge. To get back together with you.”

  The idea drops like dead weight in the pit of my gut. “Is that true?”

  Nadia flinches. “I think it would be good for both of us to show a unified front.”

  “What unified front? You wrote all about how I was a monster behind closed doors. I’m curious about the steel-toed boot I threw at you. Do you still have the scar on your eyebrow?” My eyes narrow as she shrinks in her seat. “Because Parker does. Or tell me how I wouldn’t let you eat, so you hoarded food. Tate? Know anything about that?”

  Tate is barely holding it together, his fingers drum furiously over his legs. Adam claps him on the shoulder, but I’m not sure if it’s for comfort or to keep him from lunging across the table.

  “In fact,” I go on, “maybe you should ask Alexis what it’s like to be boxed in by a car, to think you’re going to be hit, all while someone laughs at you from the driver’s seat. Funny how your story is identical to hers.”

  I didn’t want to bring up the incident with one of Mama Knight’s boyfriends. He was cruel, and Alexis spent a lot of nights curled in my bed while Parker and I took the floor for those three months.

  The way Alexis holds her chest, as if her heart might burst out, she didn’t know.

  “You listened to stories about people I love for years. You stole them and used them and I don’t know why. I don’t understand it.”

  Nadia dabs her eyes with the corner of her sleeve. She hesitates. “Do you know how hard it is to stay relevant in fashion at my age?”

  In the back of my mind, I knew she used this for a payout, but it’s still a punch to the back of the head.

  “Why recant? You’ll lose more.”

  Even defeated, she manages to sit straighter and dry the few tears in her eyes. “I have reasons. And there are conditions. For my agreement to recant, I want you to purchase those emails about to release.”

  I shoot a look at Alexis who blanches. “The emails between me and Al?”

  Nadia gives me a stiff nod. “Based on your reaction, I’m going to guess you didn’t know TMZ purchased them. They’re going to run soon. You say things about me in them that could be . . . problematic.”

  “Poor baby,” Alexis says bitterly.

  Nadia glares across the room. “I wasn’t talking to you.”

  “I know, and I don’t care. Admit it, you’re here because you don’t want the media to know you stole prescription pills from your manager, then used them to keep your boyfriend high so you could rob him.”

  “Rob him?” Tate sits up, fists clenched on his knees.

  Alexis nods and leans over the table, facing off with Nadia. “You wanted his lifestyle, but not him. Which is probably your biggest mistake because he’s delightful to have. Too bad when he sobered up, he found the money trail. I’m not sure why he’s kept quiet about it, trust me, it’s been an ongoing argument for a couple years.”

  “It has,” I agree.

  “You don’t know anything,” Nadia snaps.

  “You think I don’t understand addiction? Girl, I lived with it every day of my life,” Alexis says. “I get you were addicted to this dream of hitting it big as much as Bridge was to substance. It just breaks my heart that you didn’t care enough for him to keep him alive. I almost watched him die, Nadia!”

  I reach out and touch her arm, a comfort, maybe a warning not to blow through the roof.

  Nadia pouts. “I didn’t force anyone to take anything.”

  Mystery solved—the touch is to keep Al from blowing through the roof. Alexis flinches, talking through her teeth. “You enabled him. When he wanted to quit, you encouraged him to keep going. You didn’t shove it down his throat, but you certainly weren’t happy about sobriety.”

  “What do you know? You have one-sided information.”

  “Maybe I don’t know what was in your head, but your actions with Bridger’s money says a lot. Oh, and when you tried to slip him drugs while he was in rehab. That was pretty low.”

  “I didn’t want him to suffer!” Nadia cries. “Withdrawal is painful.”

  “You wanted him high.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I interrupt. “The point is we know why you don’t want the emails leaked.”

  “Bridge you never told us any of this,” Adam says.

  “Didn’t see why I needed to. She’s right about one thing—I took the drugs. She merely supplied them.”

  “And stole from you,” Alexis adds. “It’s a key point and you keep leaving it out.”

  “That, too. Happy?” I wink at her.

  “Better.”

  I school my attention to Nadia. “I’m not stopping the emails.”

  Her face pales and she leans forward. “Why not? They don’t make you look good, either. You talk about everything, even mention your parents’ old drug problems. There’s a lot of personal stuff in them.”

  “Yeah, and it sucks that he sold them. I was beginning to think he wasn’t going to, but it’s exhausting always sweeping everything under the rug. If I can survive your backlash, I’ll survive this. So, no deal there. However, I would like to move on to you signing an agreement that you will recant the lies in your book.”

  She scoffs and wipes away another tear. “No deal, as you said. Forget it.”

  “Well, hold on.” I point to the corner of the room. “The security system has picked up this entire conversation. Isn’t that right, Quinn?”

  Quinn nods his head. “Correct.”

  “You can’t film me without my permission!”

  “Security system,” I repeat. “Recant or it gets out. You exploited more than me with that heap of trash, and their stories aren’t yours to tell.”

  Nadia cuts me with her gaze. It’s sickening to see such hate there when moments ago she was playing the repentant lover. How long would she pretend to love me before she called it quits? It’s unnerving.

  I reach out and take Alexis’s hand. She’s warm and fierce. She’s here without any ultimatums or conditions.

  Quinn knocks again, just in time, Enigma’s lawyer steps inside and spells out what’s going to happen if Nadia doesn’t comply and sign the legal agreement and a thorough NDA about this meeting.

  I press a kiss to Alexis’s palm. “You’re too good for me.”

  She grins and pinches her finger and thumb together. “A little.”

  I laugh and tug her onto my lap.

  Nadia watches, lets out a huff, but signs the agreements. What more can she do? I’m on edge. I refuse to be duped again, refuse to allow others to take advantage of me for a bit of cash.

  With a pinched glare, Nadia drops the pen, and stands without anothe
r word. At the door, she pauses. I wait for her to say something. Anything. Nadia shakes her head, turns her gaze to the ground, then walks away.

  I slump in the chair and grin at the ceiling. It’s over. One dark spot is done at long last.

  Alexis traps my face between her palms and kisses me, sweet and raw. For a moment everything is right in the world.

  If I’d known it wouldn’t last, I might’ve savored the moment even longer.

  Chapter 28

  Alexis

  I hold a finger to my lips as if the dog can understand me. “Your tail is too loud, pretty girl.”

  I scratch Poppy’s ears and she only bangs her thick rope of a tail harder against the wall. Bridger is still asleep, and after a long night with Enigma’s legal department, Mallorie, and Tim discussing how to move forward, I want him to keep sleeping.

  Mallorie let us know the good-girl reforming a bad-boy could stop now that Nadia is legally bound to recant what she wrote within three days.

  Bridger had smirked and took my hand beneath the table.

  It’s a bit of magic knowing the lies will stop. Even Bryce releasing the emails doesn’t mar the weight that’s lifted. The only trouble—we need to talk with Parker.

  I snatch Bridger’s keys from the counter, stomach tight, as I leave to get a few last minute things for our ‘family’ breakfast. Maybe he’s right. Parker will be here face to face. It might be the best time to admit a line was crossed. To admit I can’t go back over it even if I tried.

  Bridger is optimistic, but I have a feeling Parker will view it as a kind of betrayal from both of us.

  It’s early enough Quinn hasn’t arrived yet, and I slip out the door before anyone insists I take an entourage of babysitters.

  Even at seven in the morning the air is dry, but with the top down in the jeep it’s almost pleasant. Saturday farmer’s markets were a favorite of Holly Cole, and growing up she took me whenever I asked. This one is busy already. I think Quinn is making me paranoid because without thinking I slip on my sunglasses and Bridger’s Kings cap.