Wild Keepers

by Dee Bridgnorth

  Because he had wanted her there, by his side. He had wanted them to discover the amoeba together and share in the thrill of it. They were both scientists, and it was one of the things that he loved about her. The way that she would get so excited about her work. Those beautiful blue-green eyes would almost glow with passion.

  Wait a minute, he told himself. A shiver of unease spread through him. One of the things that you love about her?

  He shook his head. He hadn’t meant that, had he?

  He sat up straighter. No. It wasn’t love. It was an intense physical attraction, and he also happened to like her, as well. They had a lot in common. And he couldn’t help but remember how wonderfully they had fit together when they had made love.

  He knew that if he described this to anyone else, they would say that he was in love. A beautiful woman, who he was deeply attracted to and just happened to share most of his interests with? A woman who made him laugh and want to be next to her, even just to stare at her? A woman who was passionate and made love as if she were made just for him?

  Yes, he could see how it could seem that way. But it was impossible, of course. He wasn’t in love. He couldn’t be.

  Caleb felt the blood draining from his face suddenly. That was when it hit him like a bolt of lightning from the sky.

  He did love her. He was in love with Allie Holloway. Body and soul. Forever.

  He had tried so hard to fight it. For both their sakes. How could he be what she wanted, or needed? He was a man who was also a wolf. A man who lived with others just like him and who battled demons. A man who lived in a shadow world. It was who he was. And she was a regular human woman, who just wanted a regular life.

  No. He shook his head. She was anything but a regular woman. She was so unique as to be one in a million. The woman of his dreams. The love of his life.

  There was a sudden rap at the door. Thank God, thought Caleb. One of them had returned. And the interruption couldn’t have come at a better time. He didn’t want to sit with this revelation any longer than he had to.

  He walked to the door, wincing in pain the whole way. His leg was really hurting. He wished those painkillers would start to kick in.

  It was Shay. Caleb stared at him, almost biting his lip. Was his fellow shifter going to have good news or bad?

  He resisted the urge to ask immediately. His heart started to thud painfully in his chest. Shay had his best poker face on; it was impossible to read from his expression what he would say.

  It was only when they were sitting down that Caleb turned to him.

  “Well?” he blurted. He couldn’t keep the thread of anxiety out of his voice. “Is she alive?”

  Shay nodded. “She is, Caleb,” he replied. “She’s recovering from surgery at the moment. I looked at her chart. It says her condition is serious but stable.”

  Caleb exhaled, feeling his breath leave his body in a rush. He felt like jumping up and punching his fist into the air. She was alive!

  “Did you see her?” he asked, forcing himself to stay still. He really shouldn’t jump in the air, not with his leg as it was.

  Shay nodded again. “I waited until the nurses were busy, and I slipped in,” he said. “I only stayed as long as I needed to read her chart. She doesn’t look well, Caleb. Pale as a sheet and hooked up to machines and drips, but she’s alive.”

  Caleb swallowed painfully. It was hard hearing that Allie was so ill, but at least she was alive. That was what he must cling to. She was a fighter, and she would survive this.

  “Thanks,” he said, staring at Shay. “It means a lot to me, that you went and did this.”

  “Sure,” said Shay. He stared hard at Caleb. “She obviously means a lot to you, brother.”

  Caleb drew in a sharp breath. “She’s a nice woman,” he said, the words seeming to drag from his mouth.

  Shay started laughing. Caleb stared at him as if he had suddenly gone mad.

  “A nice woman?” Shay wiped tears from his eyes. “I’m sure she is, but I hardly think you would be this concerned about her if she was only a nice woman.” His eyes narrowed. “Come on, Caleb. It’s as obvious as the nose on your face.”

  Caleb looked away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Shay put his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Have it your way,” he said. “I’m not here to push you into anything. But you should think about what she really means to you, Caleb. If it is a lot, you need to face it. Not run away from it.”

  Caleb sighed. “She can’t mean anything to me, can she? You know what happens if we get serious about a woman. And besides, Thad has rules about getting involved with people we meet on missions.”

  Shay stared at him. “Who gives two hoots what Thad says?” He shook his head, disbelievingly. “Thad makes rules all the time to try to keep us in line. I can see his point, but this is bigger than that. Rules were made to be broken, brother.”

  Caleb stared at the ground. “If only it were that easy. But there’s more to it than that, Shay. I don’t want to leave the pack, not yet. I’ve got more to prove. And why would Allie want to get permanently involved with me, anyway?”

  Shay shook his head. “You’ll never know unless you try. When she’s better, of course.” He stared hard at Caleb. “Don’t let this go, Caleb. Not if you seriously think she’s the one. I made that choice, and I regret it every day.”

  Caleb’s eyes widened. He stared at Shay, not believing what he was hearing. He had known that Shay had been burnt by a woman, but he hadn’t realised it was that serious. And for his wolf brother to say that he wished he had chosen the woman over his pack was a revelation. He had thought that Shay was as dedicated, and sworn, to the Wild Keepers as he was. That was why they were always so competitive with each other.

  He suddenly realised that this was the most intimate conversation they had ever had. They had been at each other’s throats so much it had forced a distance between them. Caleb was suddenly sorry for that. Very sorry. Shay was a nice guy.

  There was another rap at the door. Shay stood up. “That will be Thad,” he said. Then he turned back to Caleb. “Think about what I said, Caleb. Thad will say something different if he knew, but that means nothing. Follow your heart. I wish I had.”

  He walked off to open the door. Caleb stared after him, frowning. His mind felt like it was a battlefield with opposing sides in every direction. Was it really as simple as Shay made out? Could he just make a clean break, and walk away from the Wild Keepers, without even a backward glance?

  It was all premature, anyway. Allie was still gravely ill. He didn’t know if she would even want to see him again if she did get better. Maybe she would want to put all of this behind her. Stay as far away from him as possible.

  His heart twisted at the thought that he might never see her again.

  ***

  Thad took off his coat and scarf then sat down.

  “All done.” He was grinning. “It was a bit hair-raising, but I got in. Just. The samples were exactly where you said they’d be.” His grin widened. “I can’t wait to see the morning papers, once this comes out.”

  “You left the samples anonymously?” Caleb stared at him.

  Thad nodded. “At pathology,” he said. “With a note, explaining that this amoeba is like that other one you said, and where it is from. And for them to test the water for it, as well. Word for word, just like you told me.” He took a deep breath. “Then I messaged all the papers, telling them about it. The story will be broken by morning. Even if there was still resistance from the hospitals about the validity of the samples, the media will pressure them to double check.”

  Caleb let out a sigh of relief. “It’s done, then.” He still couldn’t quite believe it. It had been a hard case, but he had cracked it in the end. No, he corrected himself. He and Allie had cracked the case. He couldn’t have done it without her.

  “You think they will find a treatment for it?” Shay sat down, staring at him.

  Cale
b nodded. “That’s why I insisted you mention the other amoeba. This new one is from the same area, and is very similar. It should respond to a similar course of treatment. At least, I’m assuming the doctors will connect the dots and figure that out.” He grinned. “I can’t spoon feed them everything.”

  Thad grinned too. “Well, if they don’t connect those dots, we will give them a little nudge in the right direction—again.” He yawned. “I’m beat. I think I’ll call it a night.”

  “Yeah, I’m heading in that direction too,” said Shay, standing up. “I’m beat.”

  Thad stared at him. “Did you find out the condition of the girl Caleb worked with? Is she okay?”

  Shay nodded. “She’s alive. Looking pretty bad, but alive.”

  “That must set your mind at rest,” said Thad, looking at Caleb. “This case is just about all stitched up. Except for the threat of charges hovering over you. But hopefully we’ll get that sorted out, and you’ll be ready for the next one before you know it.”

  Caleb nodded slowly. He said goodnight, and they both headed off.

  He climbed into his own bed, staring up through the skylight. The moon was almost full. They would be heading off to the desert, camping, any day now. Waiting for the transformation, where they could run wild together. The hot sand beneath their paws. A band of brothers, connecting with their inner wolves.

  He had been looking forward to it. But now, it was just another trip. Something to endure before he could get back to the city. His mind shied away from the thought, but he knew, in his heart.

  It wasn’t the city he wanted to get back to. It was Allie.

  And she was lying broken in a hospital bed. Not even conscious. He yearned to see her so badly it hurt.

  He turned over, restlessly. Could he do it? He knew that she wouldn’t be awake and that he couldn’t speak to her. But the need was so strong, it was overtaking him. They would have to leave the city soon for the camping trip, and he wouldn’t have a chance until afterwards.

  He sat up in the bed, staring at the moon again. Thad wouldn’t be happy with him; the alpha leader had insisted that he lay low until these accusations against him were sorted out. That was why Shay had been sent to find out how she was. He knew that if the police caught him anywhere near her while the accusations were swirling, it wouldn’t look good for him. They might even say that he had approached her to finish off the job; that he hadn’t killed her the first time, so why not try again?

  He knew all that, but it didn’t matter. He just wanted to be near her. He needed to be near her. The urge was almost like a physical ache.

  For Thad, it was over and done with. Done and dusted. The cause of the outbreak had been found, and it was going to be dealt with. Thad was already looking to his next mission.

  But Caleb couldn’t even imagine it now. Getting up and assuming another name. Another identity. Suddenly, he felt weary of it all. He had so wanted to prove himself and rise in the pack. It had once meant everything to him.

  But now, there was Allie. And the revelation that he loved her.

  He thought again of what Shay had said to him.

  Thad will say something different if he knew, but that means nothing. Follow your heart. I wish I had.

  Caleb got out of bed and dressed quickly. The painkillers had kicked in, at long last, so he should be okay. He would take a taxi, anyway, so it wasn’t as if he would be walking on it that much. And he wouldn’t be out that long. He just wanted to walk into the hospital and quickly look in on her. He could melt back into the shadows fairly swiftly and be back here before Thad and the others realised he was gone.

  His heart was thudding. With nerves; he knew it was risky. But it was also with excitement. Even the thought of gazing on her, just for a second, was worth it all. It was worth everything.

  He didn’t know quite what he was doing, or where it would lead him. But he felt like it was completely out of his hands at the moment. His heart was dragging him along, and he had little choice but to follow it.

  He had to surrender to it. Just for a little while. After he had seen her, he would get it all under control, once more.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Caleb walked through the corridors of the hospital, his heart thudding painfully. Where was she?

  He hadn’t dared ask at reception, and he hadn’t thought to ask Shay. Well, he hadn’t been intending to come here, then. He was starting to regret his spur-of-the-moment decision, just a little. It seemed a bit absurd to be walking these dark corridors in the middle of the night aimlessly.

  How could he find out?

  He suddenly realised. A computer hack. He had his phone on him, which could connect to the hospital records.

  He sat down in a seat and got out his phone. It shouldn’t take too long, once he was in.

  It took him five minutes to find out what room she was in. It was on the floor above him. He almost ran to the stairs, taking them two at a time. In the back of his mind he knew that he probably shouldn’t have done that; his leg was injured, and it was only the painkillers masking it that had given him the strength to do it. The elevator would have been a better option.

  But it would be riskier. There were often people in elevators, and he didn’t want anyone to remember his face, if it came down to that. Anyone who worked here who might tell the police. The middle of the night was hardly usual visiting hours.

  He saw the nurse’s station, and managed to get past it without being seen. He should be there soon. Room 306. The numbers beat like a mantra in his brain.

  His heart leapt when he found Room 305. He was almost there. He would soon see her. He might even be able to take her hand, just for a little while.

  The room was almost completely in the dark, but he could see a side lamp had been switched on. She was surrounded by machines and drips, just as Shay had said. And she was as pale as when he had last held her in his arms, when she had just been shot.

  But she was alive.

  His eyes focused on her and stared. For a moment, she was all that he could see. Her figure, lying in the bed. The woman he loved.

  It only dawned on him after another moment that she was not alone in the room. There was a man and a woman, sitting on either side of her. Both held her hands. The woman had her head on the bed, and Caleb could see her shoulders heaving. The man was staring vacantly ahead, lost in thought.

  Caleb realised who they were. These people were Allie’s parents. They must have driven through the night to get here.

  Caleb gazed at her mother, weeping, into the bed. The woman sat up and turned to her husband. Caleb could see that she looked a lot like Allie, or rather, Allie looked a lot like her. He could suddenly see how she might look when she was middle-aged.

  If she lived, that is. He felt a shudder go through him.

  “How could this have happened?” she whispered in a tremulous voice.

  Her husband stared at her, shaking his head. He looked like a broken man. His eyes were so weary he could have been a thousand years old.

  “We should never have let her come here,” he said, his voice cracking. “This city has turned to rack and ruin. Who would have thought that she would be shot at her workplace?”

  His wife’s lips thinned. “I tried not to let my worry influence her,” she whispered bitterly. “But I see now that I should have told her. She wouldn’t be lying here, with a gunshot wound and fighting for her life, if I had.”

  “We had to let her follow her dreams,” whispered the man. “How could we stop her?”

  His wife shook her head. “I don’t know,” she said slowly. “But I know that if she makes it through this, I am insisting that she come back home. She can’t stay here by herself. I won’t let her.” She started crying again, the tears streaming down her face.

  The man got up, slowly, and came around the bed to his wife. They embraced, crying in each other’s arms.

  Caleb gazed at them, his eyes filling with tears. Allie was their baby girl. He w
anted to go to them and introduce himself. Tell them that he loved their daughter as much as they did. Tell them he was so sorry that this had happened to her.

  But he couldn’t do that.

  They would look at him as if he were crazy. How could he love their daughter as much as them? And who was he, anyway? No. He couldn’t intrude on their grief, and anyway, it wasn’t safe to be seen by them. They might tell the police.

  His jaw clenched at the thought that they still believed he had done this to her. Not the sainted Dr. Morgan, who was in this hospital somewhere as well. Reputation meant everything in this city, and the higher status you had, the less likely you would be looked at. They would turn a blind eye, or make excuses. Even if your fingerprints were all over the weapon.

  This city was corrupt, to its core. It was like a rotten apple that looked perfect on the outside, luscious and sweet, and inside was as black as night.

  He took a deep, shuddering breath. He had to leave. He had seen her. He hadn’t been able to hold her hand like he wanted to, but it was enough. It had to be enough.

  He took one long, lingering look. Suddenly, her eyes opened, and she gazed straight at him. He gasped. Was she awake and conscious? But almost as soon as her eyes had opened, they fluttered closed again. And she didn’t open them anymore.

  He walked back down the corridor, not even trying to stop the tears falling down his face. He had a strange feeling in his chest; it was almost like he couldn’t breathe. Like his heart was ripping apart within its cavity.

  He wouldn’t come again. He would leave her alone, like he should have right from the very beginning. Seeing her with her parents, he had realised the truth of it all.

  He had been the one who had caused her to be lying on that hospital bed. She was better off without him. Her parents would take her back to her safe little town, and she would forget that any of this had ever happened, in time. She would forget all about him. And he would stay in the shadows, where he belonged.