For Three Seconds (Forbidden Sports Romance)

by C. Lymari

  If you’re wondering what happened to me after Gigi’s party, the answer is complicated. Kim ended up canceling her party, so Gigi’s chance to kiss Gavin was pushed back again. When school started, she was excited because he was in our class. For her, it was heaven, but for me, it was hell. He sat across from me; he would smile at me, and sometimes he would defend me when other guys picked on me. Then one day at a party, before we even played spin the bottle, he came and sat next to me and asked if I was going to play.

  I asked why, and he said, “I don’t want to see you kiss someone else.”

  His eyes looked more green than blue and had such intensity. Those stupid butterflies that had lain dormant since we kissed woke up and liked the fact that he didn’t want anyone else kissing me.

  “Are you going to play?” The words had left my lips before I could filter them.

  He smiled and tilted my chin, his cold fingers making my skin zing, and in three seconds, he gave me a non-answer. In three seconds, he made me hate him. All those feelings I felt the first time were back, but I knew it couldn’t happen. I knew I couldn’t do this to Gigi.

  “I only want to kiss you.”

  He was about to hold my hand; I saw it happening in slow motion, but removed it so fast he flinched. For three seconds, we stared at each other before I did what I had to do to make it all go away.

  “I don’t like you like that.”

  The words were hard to get out, almost like I had to make sure they got out of my mouth when they were trying to claw their way down to my voice box. Gavin nodded, and then he walked away.

  That day, I watched Gigi get her turn with him, and I thought it would be okay, but for her, it wasn’t three seconds. It was five. When she went to pull away, he pulled her back in. My stomach was in knots. Those butterflies died, and I felt each and every one of them drop, losing their wings and making me cringe. Still, I held it together, smiling at Gigi when she turned and beamed at me. I had almost hoped she would tell me that it was okay, that she didn’t like him anymore, that kissing him didn’t live up to the fantasy she’d built it up to be.

  Kissing him was everything to her.

  I had to find out if it was everything to me.

  I played along. I kissed more lips, and sure, every time someone went for the kill, I felt a thrill, the anticipation, the wonder if this was going to be the kiss that would give me oblivion.

  It took Gavin three seconds to change everything I thought I knew, but I never found that again. I think Gigi was right. The first kiss was special; I just wished I would have known, because I would have given those three seconds to someone else.

  Gavin’s parents divorced at the end of sixth grade, and he moved away before he and Gigi could ever get together. Secretly, I was glad because I wouldn’t have to wonder about him and his lips or the way that kiss had felt.

  Then, in our sophomore year, he was back; he moved in with his father.

  I was the first one to see him. I was on my morning jog when I passed by his dad’s house. I didn’t think much of it because it was just a place he used to live in, but it was a habit I had, and I glanced over.

  The guy mowing the lawn couldn’t be Gavin, could he? I remembered a cute, lanky boy, but what greeted me was no longer a sixth-grader. He was tall, his shoulders broad, his chest firm and neat. I could see where he was getting abs. They weren’t defined yet, but it was enough to make my stomach drop.

  My iPod fell out of the holder because I kept forgetting to buy another arm thingy to put it in, and he turned. I didn’t know how he heard over the loudness of the mower, but our eyes locked.

  One breath.

  Two breaths.

  Three, and he walked over to me.

  “Scarlett?” he asked, looking from the top of my curly mess of hair all the way down to my Nike shoes.

  Once again, my body hummed with electricity, my toes curled, and those pesky little butterfly wings that had dropped started to flutter again. It was almost like they were saying, I’m alive; I can still fly.

  “Gavin. Wow, you look so different.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I bit my lip before I could say something stupid like oh, you look fantastic shirtless.

  He smirked at me. “Football and weights.”

  “Huh?”

  “Football and weights make me look awesome with my shirt off,” he repeated smugly.

  I wanted to die; I was waiting for the earth to part and let me fall into its core. How embarrassing.

  “Are you visiting your dad?”

  He looked back at the house and then at me.

  “Sorry, stupid question. Why else would you be here, mowing the lawn?” I rambled.

  There shouldn’t have been a reason for me to be this nervous. Maybe it was because I was tired from running, and it made me deprived of oxygen.

  Yeah, that’s why.

  Gavin smiled. His eyes crinkled with amusement.

  “Have you like been here the whole summer? Have you been hiding? When do you go back?” I asked.

  There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but mostly it was so I could keep talking and forget about three seconds of my life I couldn’t ignore.

  “Scarlett.” He put his hands on my shoulders, steadying me when I didn’t know I was floating off. “Breathe.”

  His voice was low. His eyes sparkled green, and as much as it was making me feel uncomfortable, I couldn’t look away. He commanded my attention.

  “You look good, Scarlett.” He smiled and turned around back to the lawnmower.

  I stood there, watching him take three steps, and I knew I couldn’t just walk away. I had to find out if it was him or if it was a fluke.

  “Gavin,” I called after him.

  I don’t know who was more surprised—him, that I pulled him back, or me, when I went up on my toes. The roles were reversed this time.

  One second I grabbed his nape and pulled him against me. The heat of him was scorching. Both of our bodies were slick with sweat, but instead of feeling icky, I wanted to get closer to have his smell on me.

  Two seconds, and my lips pressed against his. Everything inside me shook. My whole being was rearranging; it was happening so fast I couldn’t breathe. I needed air. Gavin didn’t miss a beat when I felt his hands at my hips, bringing me closer to him. It was like getting electrocuted. My eyes snapped open, and I remember thinking how good he smelled, how flawless his skin was. He was perfect.

  On that third second, his lips moved, trying to get mine to open, and that was when I pushed him away, turned on my heel, and ran away.

  When we first kissed, I thought it was new, that it would always feel this way, but what I couldn’t comprehend at twelve as I did now at sixteen was that it didn’t feel this way with just anyone. It never had. Gavin freaking Dunn was my unicorn.

  I talked myself down from freaking out. There wasn’t a point—Gavin didn’t even go to my school. It was all fine.

  I looked forward to telling Gigi all about seeing him; maybe I wouldn’t mention the kiss. I mean, she liked him, but that was sixth grade. It was a lifetime ago.

  Life got in the way, and every time I would open my mouth to tell Gigi about Gavin and me kissing, I backed out. He was my secret; he was mine.

  That was one of the many mistakes I made, because when the sophomore year started, Gavin was back. When I saw him at school, my blood hummed. We smiled at each other from across the room; all the other two-hundred-something students in the hall didn’t matter. By the third period, he cornered me in the hallway.

  “I can’t stop thinking about that kiss, Scar.” He tugged at my wild curls, not hard enough to cause pain, but enough so I would feel my scalp tingle, and my body was aware it was him.

  I almost blurted out “me too,” that I couldn’t stop thinking about our kiss since we’d played spin the bottle, but the ringing bell reminded me I had to go to class on the other side of the school.

  “Bye, Gavin,” I said, smiling at him as I made my way up
the stairs.

  Maybe it was my way of saying “I liked that you liked our kiss,” or “we’ll talk about this later” or “how soon can you make my heart miss a beat again?”

  Too bad for me, that never happened. Gigi was still into him.

  For a second, I almost said screw it, he was mine, he was my unicorn, my three seconds, but I didn’t have any more claim to him than Gigi did. Besides, I couldn’t do that to her, not with her parents’ nasty divorce and the pressure the cheer squad was putting on her.

  I hated the team. All the chicks were bitches. They said I was too big to join. A few other things that were not worth repeating. That was fine. I had joined poms; dancing was way more fun. That way, both Gigi and I could be at the games even if we were in different squads.

  School spirit. Rah-rah-rah.

  Gigi set her sights on Gavin, so I backed away. I had to let her do this. Maybe he wouldn’t pick her, right?

  He did.

  Gavin and Gigi became a thing, and my best friend started dating the guy that made my world stop when he kissed me. Things changed, but on the outside, they appeared the same. Gavin was the person between my best friend and me, even though she didn’t see it. I’d made it the last two years just fine. One more year would be a piece of cake.

  “Scarlett, are you okay?” Gigi was waving her hands furiously in front of me.

  Before I could answer, he walked in. A whole summer without seeing him, and it didn’t matter. I felt like I got punched in the stomach. Gigi and Dylan were scrutinizing me, watching my every move, and after the way I’d lost it last year, I couldn’t exactly blame them.

  “I’m good,” I lied, but neither one of them called me out on it.

  We were all standing there when I felt him get closer. I could lie and say I wasn’t anxious even though I was—a whole summer without seeing him was a long time. I knew he wasn’t mine, but that didn’t mean I didn’t watch him. I tried hard not to, but my eyes had a mind of their own when it came to him. Sometimes it felt like looking at him was the fix I needed to get me through the day. Looking was safe because he was Gigi’s.

  He would always be Gigi’s, even if it got to the point that he wasn’t.

  Girl code 101: thou shalt not date thy bestie’s exes.

  The floor parted for him like the Red Sea did for Moses, and instead of staying and witnessing Mr. Football God, I turned my heel and left before he could reach us.

  Gavin Dunn wasn’t mine to want. He wasn’t mine to kiss, and those three seconds of bliss weren’t mine to take.

  One more year in his presence, and then I never had to see him again.

  If that was the case, why did the thought of never seeing him again fill me with anxiety and dread instead of relief?

  Four

  “How humiliating—if I were her, I would have rather be homeschooled.”

  “Her brother had to take her to the looney bin.”

  “Poor Nick. This must be so hard on him.”

  Those were just some of the things I heard whispered about me. Of course, no one dared say anything to my face whenever I came to the room. The whispering would stop. I just wished they would also stop staring; it made me feel like a caged animal. It made me wish I still had their pity.

  Kind of.

  Not really.

  Mr. Reeves’s class was up on the third floor, last room right next to the west stairwell and directly across from the boys’ bathroom. At least it wasn’t the bathroom on the first floor; that one always smelled like weed.

  When I walked into the room, I wished that economics didn’t have to be a seniors-only class. It was already hard enough trying to catch up, and it was easier when students didn’t know about me.

  Colleges wouldn’t care about my personal shit, would they? I probably should go and have a chat with my counselor. Mrs. Wells was a lovely lady. I knew I should be grateful for everything she’d done for me. Thanks to her, the possibility of a good college was still on the table.

  As soon as I walked into class, the teacher told us we were sitting in alphabetical order. For once, I didn’t mind. Not like I had many friends left.

  Not any real ones.

  My seat was the second to last in the first row, which I didn’t mind, as it was next to a wall. I just hoped the person behind me wasn’t annoying. Maybe they wouldn’t talk to me? That would be nice.

  Looking at the clock, I noticed I still had three minutes before the bell rang. Jeez, what was wrong with me? I got to class like a minute after my last class. What happened to the days where I would go and chill by my locker? That didn’t appeal to me anymore.

  When I noticed the people who entered staring at me, I put my head down. That way I made it hard for them to keep looking at me.

  When the bell rang, I raised my head and did a quick scan of the room. Everyone was a senior—no surprise there. A bunch of people I didn’t talk to, who apparently knew about me, stared.

  When I met their gazes, unflinching, they turned away. Seriously, who the heck did they think they were? Just because they’d heard about me didn’t mean they knew me.

  I hated nosey people.

  My eyes landed on Becca, cheer captain, the girl Gigi wanted to top but never seemed to get at her level. For which I was glad. Maybe I just hated Becca because she called me fat and wouldn’t let me join the squad.

  Nah, she was just a bitch.

  My eyes also landed on Audrey, and I gave her a small smile. We’d been co-captains before everything went wrong. She tried talking to me all summer, but I never answered.

  I didn’t need anyone’s pity.

  Mr. Reeves was busy handing out the syllabus when the door opened. I didn’t turn to look like everyone else did. How old were we, five? We didn’t need to gawk at the person coming in like they were some alien.

  The room went silent like it usually did. I paid zero attention; instead, I continued writing in my notebook. I knew it was risky pulling it out here, but my therapist wanted me to write whenever I had something to say, and the way the day was going, the words were flowing.

  “Mr. Dunn, how nice of you to join us.” The sarcastic tone of Mr. Reeves’s voice couldn’t be mistaken.

  My heart started beating erratically. I was scared I was going into cardiac arrest. God, did anyone know CPR here? Would they be able to save me?

  “Unlike you, Mr. Reeves, people look forward to seeing me.” I couldn’t see Gavin, but I heard the smugness in his voice.

  Looking up at Mr. Reeves, I knew I was right. Mr. Reeves was glaring at Gavin. When the teacher opened his mouth, I knew what was going to come out of his mouth before he even said it. As he opened his mouth, I slid down my desk a little, trying to appear smaller. It was no use.

  “Why don’t you take a seat behind Miss Davis?”

  As expected, there was a pregnant pause. Everyone turned to look at him, then at me. I felt their gaze on me, but I just looked ahead, as if the front of the room was fascinating. For all my classmates knew, maybe it freaking was.

  This was a mistake, because looking forward meant I got to see Gavin as he walked down the aisle. No backpack, just a folder and a notebook, number two pencil behind his ear, in a white T-shirt that did nothing but accentuate his muscular arms and the tan he got over the summer, and a pair of dark jeans with white tennis shoes.

  Nope, I didn’t think he looked fine.

  Not at all.

  Do not look at him. Don’t look at him. Do not look at him.

  My eyes flew up to his as he walked right by me. Every single freaking time I saw him, it was like a kick to the stomach. No, not because he was so handsome, and it made me quiver or whatever but because he was Gigi’s and Gigi was like my sister, meaning it was a big freaking no to think about him like that.

  But no, that wasn’t why it was a kick to the stomach. It was a reminder of what had happened last year. His eyes flashed, and I saw it, the pity in his eyes. His eyes turned soft, and I couldn’t take it. I didn’t want pity. Not
from him.

  He looked down at my notebook, and immediately I closed it. What I had written on those pages was personal—sacred even. I looked ahead and pretended he wasn’t even there. Considering the amount of practice I’d had, acting like he didn’t exist, this should come easy. It should’ve, but it didn’t.

  All through class, my neck felt like it was burning. Maybe it was just me, and he wasn’t even staring at me, but I didn’t dare turn. My body had never been so rigid or stiff.

  Pathetic.

  I grabbed my stuff and ran out as soon as the dismissal bell rang.

  “Scarlett,” he said softly.

  I pretended like I didn’t hear it, even though my body responded to his voice. My saving grace was Becca, who cooed his name, giving me the chance to escape.

  The only good thing about being a senior was that you could leave for lunch; that meant no cafeteria food for me. For the first time since eighth grade, Gigi and I didn’t have the same lunch period. Did it make me a shitty friend that I was a little relieved? At least I had Dylan, so I wouldn’t be such a lonely loser.

  “I’m glad it’s just us two. It’s a bitch to have more than two people in your car.”

  I smacked Dylan’s head. He was right, though; my white Honda coupe was a little inconvenient when I had more than one person with me.

  “It’s just you or Gigi, and since you can’t stand each other, it’s not a problem.”

  “She never forgave me for getting a rash after she kissed me. It’s not my fault I was allergic to her lip gloss.”

  “Dylan, be nice. She’s my best friend, and I’ll always defend her.”

  He raised his arms in surrender, but grumbled something I couldn’t hear under his breath.

  Do you want to know what we got? Some nuggets and fries. Something about eating them during school hours made them taste all that much better.