For Three Seconds (Forbidden Sports Romance)

by C. Lymari

  “Whoa, you guys look alike.” She stated the obvious.

  “Yeah, that’s Rhett. He was my big. He was president my sophomore year.” I pointed to the other picture of my sophomore year.

  Scarlett stared at it before she shook her head and turned back to me.

  “When I decided on coming here, he kind of took me under his wing. We didn’t have a lot, but he used to come around…” I trailed off because it was around the time of her parents’ accident.

  I didn’t want to mention all that, so I took Scarlett’s hand and led her to my room, where I watched her study. Then after that, things got hot and heavy, my dick by her pussy, but no matter how much my dick begged me to slide inside Scar’s pussy, I meant what I said. The next time I had her would be when I was making love to her.

  The days leading up to my date with Scar passed by in a blur. I had Isaac keep walking her to the classes he could and gave him cash so he could run to the campus store and get my jersey so I could give it to her.

  When my phone started ringing, I pulled it out and was pissed. It was Gigi calling. Ignoring it, I put the phone on silent and put it in my pocket. Dread filled me because I had yet to tell Scar about the miscarriage. I was scared of her reaction, but most of all, I was scared to lose her.

  Once I was ready, I grabbed the jersey and my keys and went to pick up my girl. My mouth ran dry the moment I saw her. She came down the driveway in black leggings, a gray long-sleeve blouse that matched her tennis shoes, and her hair a wild mess. I don’t think she realized just how beautiful she was. It didn’t matter if she did or not because, to me, she’d always been the most beautiful girl in the room.

  “Ready to woo me?” she said.

  I noticed the circles under her eyes and wondered if she was having problems sleeping again.

  “Do you still get nightmares?” I asked, cupping her cheek.

  When she tensed, I knew that wasn’t a good sign.

  “Scar,” I warned before she could lie to me.

  “Sometimes, but I don’t want to talk about that today. Today, I want you to take me on a date. I just want to be with you, nothing else.”

  When she put it that way, I forgot about everything else.

  “Here.” I handed her my jersey.

  She smirked at me. “Most guys give roses on the first date, and you give me your shirt. Modest much?”

  I pulled her by the hips toward me, leaning down and smelling the skin by her neck. My waiting game was a real pain in the ass right now.

  “I want you in my jersey at my games and at night when you go to sleep, and when I take you, I want you in nothing but my shirt.”

  When she shivered, I kissed her forehead, then brought her hands to my lips and kissed them too. Then I got her in the car before I dropped to my knees and begged her to come with me after graduation. I’d been playing the long game all my life; this was just another one.

  We had just arrived at the movies when my phone started to vibrate again. I took it out and tensed when I saw it was Gigi calling again.

  “Is everything okay?” Scar asked, full of concern.

  “Everything is perfect,” I said even though that felt like a lie.

  I turned my phone on silent as we made our way through the concession stand. I had Scarlett curled up to me watching some chick flick I wouldn’t ever watch again unless that’s what she wanted, and everything should have been perfect, but I kept getting texts and messages from Giuliana.

  I held on to Scarlett a little tighter, kissed her a little longer, feeling a sense of dread. The next time I checked my phone, I saw a text from Isaac, and Ollie had tried to call me too.

  “I’ll be right back.” I gave Scar a chaste kiss on the lips and went to the hallway. When I called my frat brothers, I wished I would have stayed in an ignorance bubble.

  “Dude, you need to check on Gigi,” Ollie said.

  I closed my eyes, feeling hate burn through me, but at the same time, shame.

  “I’m at the movies with Scar.”

  “I know. I wouldn’t have called if I didn’t think it was important.”

  When I hung up on him, I called Gigi.

  I wish I hadn’t.

  Gav…God…I can’t take this pain anymore. I feel like I’m going crazy. I want it to stop.

  Her words haunted me and scared me. I knew I couldn’t have something like that on my conscience.

  I wasn’t thinking straight because I knew if things didn’t get handled right, I could lose Scar again. I was backed against a corner, and that was never good because you made rash decisions that way. Running a hand down my face, I wanted to scream in frustration, but pulled myself together. When I walked back to where Scar was seated, I felt like the biggest fraud in the world.

  “Baby, I have to go,” I told her.

  “Something happened?” She sat up, losing her carefree glow.

  I hated this damn triangle I had started.

  “Nothing—I just really need to get to the house. Here are my keys. I got an Uber. Just stay and finish the movie.”

  She opened her mouth, and I couldn’t have her near me, not when I felt like I was cheating.

  “Just finish the movie, please. I love you, Scar,” I said as I leaned up to kiss her.

  She didn’t say anything; she just sat there watching me leave.

  Twenty-Three

  Love.

  What did that word even mean? I stood still against Gavin’s kiss. He just told me he loved me, just like that. I was shell-shocked.

  Love was a feeling that sometimes was fleeting or everlasting. More often than not, it came with pain. Two sides of the same coin, and you learned to live with them, making your days better or worse. But God forbid love got yanked from you. That shit burned you, and all that was left were embers glowing with the pain.

  These past few days had felt like a dream, but love—could it be love? I could count on my hands the number of weeks we had spent together, but we had what felt like a lifetime of memories. Good, and bad, but they were what defined us.

  When the lights turned on, I realized I had been staring absently at the screen. I grabbed my stuff and Gavin’s keys and walked out. Neither of us were thinking straight because I sure as shit didn’t know how to drive his car. I walked up to it and made sure it was locked before I called for a ride.

  I sat on a bench outside the movie theatre plaza replaying the way he’d told me he loved me. It just slipped out. No agenda, no other motivation than to just let me know how he felt. At least it kept me from thinking about my nightmares that had started to come more frequently. Always the same thing—me in the car, the smell of gasoline heavy in the air. By the time Nick pulled up, it was already dark.

  “Took you long enough,” I huffed.

  “Where’s your car?” Nick asked as soon as I came in.

  “Home.”

  My brother looked at me and then to the building.

  “Did someone try to get fresh with you?”

  I threw my head back and laughed. “Please, don’t try to be hip.”

  “Well, were you on a date? Out with friends?” Nick sounded so hopeful.

  I guessed I never went out. For one, I had no friends, and two, I lacked the energy to do things.

  “I was on a date,” I said, knowing I was going to have to tell Nick about Gav eventually. “He had an emergency, and I wanted to finish watching the movie, so I called you instead.”

  Nick seemed to process everything I’d just said. He just kept driving; then, at a light, he turned to look at me.

  “I’m glad you’re going out more.”

  I gave him a small nod.

  The rest of the ride was in silence, right up until the house came into view, before my brother ruined my perfect little bubble.

  “Scar.” His voice was hesitant, and that wasn’t a good sign. My brother wasn’t scared of anything. He was my hero.

  “Yeah?” I asked nervously.

  He’d somehow had found out a
bout the nightmares, and he was going to make me go to a wellness center. Dread filled my stomach at the sight of not seeing Gavin again.

  “A couple of days ago, Gigi came up to me.”

  My stomach dropped, and I wanted to throw up. I forced myself to stay still because my brother didn’t know the whole story unless Gigi had told him.

  “Yeah?” I heard myself say.

  “She asked me for your number, said she regrets losing touch with you.”

  Once my brother parked in my driveway, I absently nodded at him. “Cool. I have lots of homework to do.”

  I walked up to my driveway, trying to leave all my problems behind, but they didn’t stay. Instead, I focused on Gavin and hoped he was okay. He seemed pretty shaken up, and I realized I wanted to make him feel better. I wanted to be to him what he was to me. The person who made the world stop spinning.

  Fear and adrenaline coursed through my veins. They washed over me like rain. I felt them all over my body, and I couldn’t move.

  “Baby, please.” I looked at my mother’s scared gaze, and a part of me knew—knew this was it.

  I was so scared, I couldn’t talk.

  “You need to get out.”

  I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I tried to say her name, to beg her to get out with me.

  “We need to leave,” I heard a voice say outside, but everything was still so messed up.

  “We can’t,” another voice cried.

  I sat up on the bed; my body was shaking and sweaty. All week I’d dreamed bits and pieces of the same night, but never like today. I looked at my phone and noticed Gav hadn’t returned my texts or calls. It was past eleven, and not that late. I didn’t think; I just acted. I grabbed my keys and my phone and drove to Gavin’s house. I needed him to hold me right now. I needed him to make my world stop spinning. I got to the house, knowing he probably wasn’t there, because I called and his phone sent me to voicemail. I waited at the door before I knocked, knowing that if I did knock, I was ready to admit to him the same he had done to me at the movies.

  “You’re planning to go inside?”

  I jumped at the voice behind me. Quincy gave me a wave and a small smile.

  “I was looking for Gavin.”

  “Well, you ain’t going to find him unless you knock.”

  I started to come to my senses and was going to back out, but Quincy was already opening the door.

  “Come on, I’ll find Ollie. He has a spare for your boy’s room.”

  Quincy took me to wait by Gavin’s door as he texted Ollie and waited with me. When Ollie came to open it, he gave me a hesitant smile.

  “Is everything okay with Gavin?” I asked, now worried—more than I cared to admit.

  “Yeah, something came up with a friend. I’m sure he’ll tell you all about it when he gets back.”

  They left me alone in Gavin’s room, closing the door behind them. Once in his space, I felt a bit better. Smiling to myself, I went through his drawers to find a shirt to wear. In his socks and boxers drawers, I found my underwear. At least it was washed. I told myself that it made him less pervy. I was going to wear one of his university T-shirts when peeking through his closet was his team jersey.

  I remembered watching Gigi on game days wearing our school colors and his number, wondering what would it feel like to wear his shirt. Before I changed, I locked the door, then took off my clothes and put on his jersey.

  It had taken three years, but we had come full circle. Even in his room, I felt better with his scent around me. I decided not to text him again and just wait until he got home. I lay under the covers so I could surprise him before I gave him my heart.

  When I opened my eyes, it took me a second to realize I was in Gavin’s room. I searched the bed for my cell phone.

  The sun was peeking through the windows, and I had a sick feeling in my stomach. Gavin never came home, and a thousand scenarios came to mind. What if I lost him how I had lost my parents? I picked up my phone, hoping he had texted me back.

  On the first second, my heart thumped like a beast in a cage when I saw the unknown number.

  On the second, my mind was starting to shut down from the shirtless picture of Gavin it saw. He was lying shirtless on someone’s couch.

  On the third second, whatever I had left of my heart broke, the butterflies died, and my world collapsed at the words I read.

  An eye for an eye.

  No more words were needed, not when Gigi had hurt me just as I had hurt her. There was a name to the sick feeling that clung to me—it was called karma.

  He was mine before. He is mine again.

  I didn’t know how long I stared at the picture on my phone. I was in Gavin’s frat house, wearing his shirt and nothing else. It was torture, but I couldn’t stop staring. I stayed seated on his bed, looking at the phone, when the door creaked open.

  Gavin stopped dead when he saw me sitting on the edge of the bed. His eyes were roaming my body. I got angry at the lust in his eyes.

  “Where were you?” My voice came out hoarse.

  “Scarlett,” he said, sounding like he was in pain.

  “Where were you?” I asked again, this time trying to sound stronger than I felt.

  He opened his mouth but closed it again.

  “Don’t lie to me,” I pleaded, my voice breaking because I could see it in his stormy eyes—the guilt. I raised my phone, and his eyes widened at the picture.

  “I swear to God, Scar, I wasn’t doing anything to hurt you,” he said hoarsely, looking at me pleadingly.

  “Yeah? Because you lying to me and going with Gigi hurt me.” I let out a tortured laugh. “I guess I had that coming, right? Payback for what I did to her.”

  “God, no,” Gav said, taking a step toward me.

  “Don’t. Touch. Me.” I seethed.

  “Baby, it’s not like that.”

  I ignored him and went to his drawer and grabbed my underwear. Before I could put them on, Gavin took them from me and hugged me to his body.

  “You don’t get to run away from me. Not anymore. I’m not letting you,” he whispered.

  Funny how a place that used to offer comfort could quickly cause you pain.

  I pushed him away, and all the rage I had inside of me exploded. Him. Us. Gigi. My parents. Every missed opportunity, everything that had landed me here, making a fool of myself.

  “I trusted you!” I screamed at him.

  His gray eyes looked like the sky before it stormed, full of anguish, pain, and rage.

  “I trusted you!” I yelled a little more, broken this time, as I hit his chest. “I trusted you!”

  I hit his chest over and over again, taking out all my frustration on him—making him hurt like I was hurting. And he just let me.

  “You were my safe place,” I whispered, before I sank to the floor crying.

  Gavin came down with me. “I swear, nothing happened, Scar.”

  I cried, tried to get myself together, but I just felt so overwhelmed and done with it all.

  Twenty-Four

  Things don’t fall apart when life is perfect or even good. Things fall apart when people lie to you, when the answers aren’t the ones you seek, when tragedy sinks its way to your core and won’t let go.

  Life falls apart when you least expect it—when the hope you have flees.

  Life falls apart when the thought of rising again seems too heavy and your every thought is a burden.

  Things fall apart when you give up.

  Twenty-Five

  Life was like fucking Jenga: one wrong move, and everything came crashing down. My blood froze the moment Scarlett stopped crying. I watched her wipe her tears and look at me, and fuck me, I couldn’t see the emotion in her eyes. These past few weeks, they’d lit up when I was near.

  “Let me explain. Just let me explain, and after that, if you want to walk away, you can,” I said hoarsely.

  She looked at me for a brief second and gave me a small nod.

  “I br
oke up with Gigi a week before prom because I couldn’t pretend anymore. Not when it got to the point that you two weren’t friends anymore. We were all coming to college together, and I was thinking of giving you the summer…” I stopped because that had never worked out how I had planned.

  She laughed without humor, holding on to her head. I couldn’t bring myself to say the next part because it was going to kill her, and that was going to kill me.

  “When I saw you were drowning, I couldn’t stay away, Scar. I made love to you that night. For the first time, I knew what it felt like for you to be mine. In the morning, you left, and I was going to chase after you…but I had missed calls from Gigi.” I ran my hands through my hair, hoping like hell that after I told her the truth, she stayed. “She wasn’t feeling well. She kept texting me, and I went to check on her… She was pregnant.”

  “Oh God.” Scar put a hand to her mouth and let out a sob. “What happened?”

  “A couple of days later, she lost the baby,” I whispered, full of pain. Gigi and I were lots of things, but that was my kid too. “This changes nothing between us, Scar.”

  “This change everything, Gav. We were two halves that were never meant to fit. We did that to Gigi. I did that!” She was heaving, and it was breaking me. “She told me you guys were going to work it out, and I messed it all up!”

  “No, you didn’t. I did—I fucked it all up. God, Scar. She’s been guilt-tripping me this whole time. Every time she loses it over the baby, I go running because it’s my fuckup, not yours. God, Scar, I lost a kid too, and it fucking hurts, but I can’t ever put it behind me because Gigi opens that fucking wound every chance she gets. This is my mistake, never yours. You need to know I would have never got back together with her. I swear, Scar, nothing happened. Gigi was a fucking mess last night. She spilled water all over my shirt, and I took it off so it could dry, and in the meantime, I was trying to stop her from doing something stupid. I was so tired I fell asleep in the living room. She must’ve taken a picture while I was sleeping.”