Fight for You: A Second Chance Romance (A Warrior for Her Book 1)
Page 33
He laughs softly before pressing his lips to my ear. "I have a confession to make too," he says into my skin. "I fucking hated when you learned how to read. I was so goddamn jealous of your books because I didn't get to read them to you anymore. I'd make Ma Rose take me to the library and get me a copy of whatever you were reading, just so I could talk to you about the book."
"Are you serious?" I ask, pulling back to look at his face.
"As a heart attack," he says, his expression solemn. "I loved getting to share that with you. I felt like it was something just for us. I fell in love with literature because of you." A gentle smile tugs at his lips even as sadness and regret float through his eyes. "I haven't read a single book since I left Los Angeles. Just thinking about reading made me feel like I was going to fall the fuck apart. I missed you every damn day, baby girl. Every day."
"I don't read much anymore either," I admit. "Every book I picked up reminded me of you. I missed you so much."
"But you kept this one."
"I will never get rid of it."
He sets the book aside and then scoops everything else back into the box and closes it before setting it on the floor beside the bed. Once that's done, he picks me up and pulls the blankets back before scooting up against the headboard and laying me down with my head on his chest. As soon as I'm comfortable, he picks the book up and flips it to the first page.
"Are you going to read it to me?" I ask, laughing in delight.
"Damn straight," he growls playfully and reaches for my hand. He lifts it to his lips to kiss the ring there before twining our fingers together on his chest. "I'm going to read to you every fucking day for the rest of your life. And don't worry, baby girl. The only monster that's going to get you at the end of this book is me."
"My Grover," I whisper, smiling so big my cheeks hurt.
"Hi, Mama. Hi, Titan," I whisper a week later, clinging to Cade's hand as we stand between their graves. "I'm sorry I've never come to see you. I should have come a long time ago, but I didn't want to admit that you were gone. I've struggled for a long time with losing you guys. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry I gave up on living after I lost you. I want you to know that I never forgot you. I never stopped missing you."
My throat burns and unshed tears prickle at my eyes as I talk to them. I haven't been here since the day we buried them because I couldn't face coming alone. I didn't want to have to admit they were gone and I wasn't.
Their graves have grown over with grass and flattened out. Both my mom and Titan's graves have fresh flowers in vases. Judging by the layer of older petals, someone has been keeping flowers here for a long time. I have a feeling that's Cade's doing, but I let him keep that secret.
"I love you both, and I miss you so much," I whisper.
"Hi, Jana. Titan," Cade says at my side, his voice a soft rumble. There's a hitch in his voice and their names tremble on his lips. He stands beside me for a second, not speaking, and then he releases me and kneels in the grass beside Titan's grave.
I clamp my hand over my mouth, trying to hold back a sob when he leans forward and presses his forehead to Titan's headstone. His shoulders shake, an anguished cry breaking from his lips. "I'm so fucking sorry, Titan."
I drop carefully to my knees beside him and wrap my body around his, holding him as he falls apart.
"I'm sorry," he says over and over as tears pour down his face. "I wish I could have saved you. You were my brother. I fucking miss you every goddamn day." He drops down on his ass and pulls me into his arms, holding me as he talks to my brother. Tears choke him, but he talks anyway, purging himself of ten years' of grief, regret, and guilt. He tells Titan everything…but I kind of think Titan already knows.
I think that, maybe, he's been watching over both of us, trying to lead us back to one another.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for her when she needed me," Cade says, stroking his hands through my hair. "I promise you that I'll never let her down like that again. I'll never leave her side. I'll never give up on her. I'll never stop loving her. She'll be taken care of, Titan. I promise you that I'll love her right this time."
"Cade," I whisper as another flood of tears pours down my face.
"Remember what you said when I told you that I kissed her for the first time?" he asks, smiling through his tears. "You told me that she deserved to be treated like a princess, and that I'd answer to you if I didn't treat her that way. I didn't tell you then, but I was so fucking afraid I wouldn't be good enough for her and would disappoint both of you." He exhales softly. "I'll always work to be good enough for her. I'll always try to keep my promise to you to treat her like she deserves to be treated. I just wish like hell you could be here to see me do it."
I bury my face in his throat and bawl like a baby.
He holds me on his lap for a long time, talking to Titan. When I finally manage to stop crying, I talk to him too. I tell him about Kaleo and how Cade turned into a badass. I tell him about my life and how I'm looking forward to the future for the first time in a long time.
"Thank you for always trying to take care of me," I whisper to him. "Part of me will always feel like it's my fault you got caught up with Kaleo and the Crips, but I know you just wanted the best for me. Thank you, big brother." I press my hand to my lips and then press it to his headstone.
"Mama, I want you to know I'm going to be okay now," I whisper to her. "I promise you that I'll never stop fighting for myself and for Cade."
"And when she can't fight, I'll fight for her," Cade vows, using his thumbs to wipe away my tears. "I'll love her enough for both of us when she forgets to love herself. You don't have to worry about her anymore, Jana. I've got her now and I'm not ever letting her go."
His sweet words send more tears down my face.
We sit there for another hour, just talking to my mom and Titan. Sometimes, we cry. Other times, we laugh. But when Cade puts me on my feet a little bit later and presses his lips to my forehead, I feel lighter than I have since the day they died.
"Wait for me in the car, baby girl," he murmurs, turning me toward the rental parked in the grass a few yards away. "I need to have a private conversation with Titan."
I study his expression for a moment—take in the determination in his blue-gray eyes and the confident set of his shoulders—and then I nod.
I press another kiss to Titan's headstone and then to my mom's. Cade watches me as I straighten the flowers and add the ones we brought today to the vases, and then I head to the car so he can say whatever he needs to say to my brother in private. Whatever he has to say is important to him, but I know he'll tell me if I ask. He always gives me what I want. And all I've ever wanted was him.
He's all I will ever want.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Michael
Present Day
I watch January until she makes it to the car and then I turn back to Titan's grave. Seeing the headstone with his name on it damn near broke me, but my girl was there to hold me together just like she's been doing for most of my life. Even in Seattle, when shit would get hard, all I had to do was think about her and I found the strength to keep going. For her, I will always find the strength.
"Hey man," I whisper to Titan and then clear my throat. "When I put a ring on her finger before, I never asked for your permission. I was pissed off and stubborn as hell, so I put that ring on her finger and didn't give a damn if I had your blessing or not. But I'm asking for it now." My gaze drifts from his grave to Jana's. "I promise you that I will be by her side until I take my last breath. No one will ever love her more than I do or cherish her more than I will. I won't let you down again. I won't disappoint you this time. I'll watch over our girl and keep her safe so you can rest easy, brother."
I rake a hand through my hair and exhale. "So if you're cool with me marrying your sister, I could use a sign or something. I'm not really sure how this works. Just don't show up in my bedroom and rattle the doorknobs or some stupid shit like that in the middl
e of the night, okay? You'd just freak her the fuck out and probably see her naked. No disrespect because you're her brother, but I'll fuck you up if you see her naked…and I don't know how the fuck to fight a ghost, so you're just going to have to give me this one, okay?
"Send me a rainbow or something, I guess? Fuck." I huff out a breath. "I don't even know what the fuck I'm saying. Just…I want to marry your sister and I need to know you're good with it. And I need you to know that I'll never leave her side. I'll never disappoint you again. I will never hurt her again." I bump my fist gently against his headstone and then lay a kiss on Jana's. "We're going to be okay now," I promise them both. "You'll see."
I linger for another moment like I expect Titan's heavenly voice to come floating down to tell me to keep my hands off his baby sister, but it doesn't. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, but at least he didn't ask God to strike me down with lightning or some shit, so I guess that's good enough for now.
By the time I make it back to the car, January is curled up in the passenger seat, sleeping. Her nose is red and her eyes are swollen from crying, but she still looks like my little doll. She will always be my little doll.
I lean over the console to kiss her tenderly on the forehead and then fasten her seatbelt around her before heading back toward home. When I pull up in her driveway half an hour later, she's still passed out. Roman's truck is idling on the curb. He hops out to meet me when I cut the engine.
"What's up, Sasquatch?" I ask him, climbing out.
He flips me the bird and then grins so wide it damn near splits his cheeks. "You ready to come to work for the ATF, fucker?" he asks, reaching out to bump my fist when I prop myself up on the back of the car and shove the keys into my pocket.
I cock my head to the side and arch a brow. "Administrative leave, dude. That means my ass isn't going anywhere until the DEA decides what to do with me."
Basically, until I'm either charged or the case is closed, I'm twisting in the wind. Not that it's stopped me from getting shit done or anything. Now that Kaleo is gone and Remi Pledger is out of the picture, courtesy of Roman, I've got nothing but time on my hands. Way I see it, Los Angeles needs me just as much, if not more, than Seattle did. With the gang war dying down, gangs are up to their old tricks, targeting innocent people instead of each other.
I may not be the monster I've always thought I was, but I'm still pretty fucking scary to those assholes. And I don't need a badge to take care of business when I've got guys like Roman and Santiago in my corner. So I'm doing what needs to be done. The rest will sort itself out eventually.
Roman's grin widens and he chuckles before clamping a massive hand down on my shoulder. "LAPD cleared you as a suspect about an hour ago, man. You're free."
"I'm…What?" I stumble as shock courses through me, weakening my knees.
"The only prints on the gun were Curtis Kaleo's. Ballistics testing matched that gun to the murders of Adcock, Adams, and Cortez," Roman says softly. "You're free, Michael. Hernandez cleared you as a suspect and officially closed the case since their only remaining suspect is dead. It's over."
"Fuck," I mumble, trying to work moisture back into my mouth. "You're serious."
Roman nods. "The only thing left for you to do is celebrate with your girl, and then sign your hire paperwork with Finn Bethel," he says, grinning. "You're free and clear."
"But…"
His dark brows fly upward. "Don't fall on the sword, Kincaid. This city needs you. Whatever happened back then doesn't change a fucking thing. Whether you think you deserve it or not, you're a cop. You're one of the best I've ever met and I don't say that lightly. Guys like Leyva respect you enough to play by your rules, and guys like Fuentes need someone around who's willing to put a boot to their neck and keep them in line when they don't. If you think you've still got some penance to pay, work it out in the streets, because that's where we need you, not locked up in a cell."
"He's right," January says from behind me.
I spin around to find her standing by the passenger side of the car, the door open. She looks so sweet and rumpled as she smiles at me. My cock turns to steel and my heart crashes against my ribcage.
She strides toward us, not sparing a second glance at Roman. Her bright eyes stay locked on mine until she's right in front of me, pushing her way into my arms like she always does. And I fucking love that shit…love that she wants to be in them as much as I want her in them.
"You're a good cop, Cade," she whispers. "People like Titan need you to keep being a good cop. We need you to fight for us, because no one else can."
Fuck. I can't tell her no, not when she says stuff like that. Because she's right. Maybe I don't deserve a badge or the right to call myself a cop, but people like Titan need motherfuckers like me fighting the good fight. Regardless of how I came to the job, I'm damn good at it. And if that doesn't count for something…well, I guess God can sort that shit out later. If he wants to cast me into hell for the choices I made back then, so be it.
I kind of have a feeling he won't though. I asked Titan for a sign. I'm guessing the big fucker came through for me. This is my sign. This is the blessing I needed. This is my shot at salvation…my chance to keep my girl at my side until the day I die.
I'm not stupid enough to say no to that.
"Tomorrow," I growl at Roman and then swing January up into my arms.
She shrieks with laughter as I stomp toward the house.
"Tomorrow," Roman agrees, laughing loudly. "Be there at nine."
"Noon," I shout over my shoulder, kicking the car door closed. "I'm not leaving my girl before then."
He laughs again.
I take that as an agreement and practically run to the front door. Once I'm there, instead of putting January on her feet, I just hold her up with one hand and use the other to drag my keys out of my pocket and open the door. She's still giggling in my arms when I stomp inside and reset the alarm before making a beeline for her bedroom…our bedroom.
Her long blonde hair fans out around her on the pillows when I lay her on top of the bed. Her eyes are shining with happiness. It practically shimmers in the air around her as I stare down at her, memorizing her in this moment.
"Fuck, you're beautiful," I whisper and strip my shirt off over my head.
"You're pretty beautiful yourself," she says and bites her bottom lip, shifting restlessly on the bed. Her thighs rub together as she tries to create friction, but we both know that won't satisfy her. What she really needs is my cock. And I plan on giving it to her. It's been way too long since I was last inside her.
"Cade, please. I need you."
"I'll take care of you," I promise her, "but I have to do something first."
She tilts her head to the side and eyes me curiously as I stalk toward the closet and pull it open. I shuffle through my clothes before I find the right pair of pants and pull out the ring I've had hidden in there since she came home. I've just been waiting to be cleared so I could put it on her finger.
"Cade," she whispers when I turn around and make my way back to her.
Without a word, I reach out and slip it onto her finger with her Claddagh ring. Like that one, this one is platinum, with a massive round-cut emerald surrounded by smaller diamonds. It matches the Claddagh ring perfectly and looks fucking stunning on her.
Satisfaction twists through me at the sight of it on her finger where it belongs.
"My answer is yes. I will marry you, Cade." She smiles at me, her eyes alight with happiness.
"Wasn't a question, baby girl," I remind her, shooting her a cocky smirk. "You're mine now."
"I've always been yours. Now get naked. I need you."
Fuck. I love her.
I make quick work of stripping off the rest of my clothes. But before I can crawl onto the bed with her, she sits up and reaches out for me. My head falls back, a moan rumbling from my lips when she wraps her hand around my cock.
"You're so hard," she breathes, sliding her hand
up and down my length.
I bark out a choked laugh as a bead of pre-cum wells at the tip. "I'm always hard for you, baby girl."
She leans forward and licks the head of my cock. The way she moans when she tastes me has me ready to explode already. Swear to Christ, it's been too damn long since she's had that perfect little mouth on me. There's no way I'm going to last.
"Fuck me," I breathe, planting my feet apart before I fall on my ass.
She runs her tongue all over the head of my cock before sucking me deeper into her mouth. It's heaven and hell and I don't ever want her to stop torturing me this way. My hands sink into her silky hair, pulling it back from her face so I can watch my dick disappearing between those perfect lips of hers. It's almost obscene how wide her lips are stretched around me, but happiness and desire shine in her eyes, letting me know she's loving this. She bobs up and down a few times, trying to take as much as she can.
When I hit the back of her throat, I cry out her name and then pull her off me.
"You're too good at that," I mumble and push gently on her shoulder until she lies back on the bed.
"I like the way you taste," she whispers, making my cock jerk.
I crawl up the bed over her. My lips come down on hers soft and sweet before I deepen the kiss. I can still taste the salt of her tears on her lips, but there's something beautiful in that too. We're healing together. Exactly like we've always been meant to do.
"We gotta go slow," I murmur to her when she whines beneath me and shifts restlessly. I love that sucking me off turned her on, but she's still healing and she's got me so worked up…I'm a little afraid I'll hurt her if we don't take this slow. "Don't wanna hurt you, but I need to be in you or I'm going to lose my fucking mind, January."
"Same," she gasps, lifting up so I can strip her shirt over her head. Her bra goes with it. The bruises around the bullet wound and the surgical incisions have pretty much healed, leaving behind red, puckered skin.