Coming Home: The Damaged Series - Book Three

by Shayne McClendon

  COMING HOME

  Damaged Series – Book Three

  Shayne McClendon

  Coming Home by Shayne McClendon

  Damaged Series – Book Three

  Copyright © 2010 and Beyond Shayne McClendon

  Dirty Little Secret – Book One

  Feel My Love – Book Two

  Coming Home – Book Three

  Run to You – Book Four

  Published by Always the Good Girl LLC

  www.alwaysthegoodgirl.com

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Darling,

  In the midst of tragedy and personal loss, we sometimes feel as if the pain will never ease…that the wound will never – could never – heal. It does….eventually. It won’t happen overnight – and you’ll always carry the scars – but it does get better.

  All of us are a little bit damaged.

  All of us have our scars.

  It’s part of the human condition.

  Instead of focusing on the pain that caused the scar, recognize that you survived it. To readers who have shared their stories and personal struggles with me over the years:

  You are still here. Keep fighting. You can do this.

  Much love from my little world to yours,

  Shayne

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Epilogue

  Always the Good Girl Publishing

  Links to Other Work

  About Shayne McClendon

  Prologue

  As Rowan Foxe walked the narrow two-lane country road after midnight toward Gage Chambers’ property, she considered what she was about to do and why.

  Everything before the age of ten was a blank to her. Found wandering the busy streets of Fort Worth, police picked her up and took her to the closest hospital.

  Recovering from severe head trauma, never reported missing, and unable to tell the authorities anything, she was designated a Jane Doe.

  A wooden pendant with the name Rowan carved into it and a blood-soaked slip of paper with Foxe scribbled in pencil were found in the pocket of her torn and bloody sundress.

  By necessity, her life started over.

  Rowan had no idea who she’d been, how she was injured, or if there was anyone in the world who wanted to find her.

  Gage was one of the first people she met when she was sent to the orphanage in northeast Texas after she was released from the hospital.

  The Chambers were good people, kind and generous. They owned Chambers Cattle Company a couple of miles up the road. Gage and his family volunteered time and money to the home. They’d done so for decades.

  They fixed things around the property, supplied necessary items like food and medicine, and brought presents at Christmas. They’d made a difference in the lives of many girls who’d cycled through Miss Jeffries’ care.

  By the age of twelve, Rowan knew she loved Gage.

  From the start, she thought, “If I could ever have a normal life, I’d pick him to live it with.”

  Naturally, her life would never be normal.

  Gage and his family had lived in Daingerfield, Texas for three generations. They could trace their lineage back almost a thousand years and had deep roots in the community.

  Rowan didn’t have lineage. No one even knew if Rowan Foxe was her name but it seemed a rational one at the time.

  Gage had a hundred blood relatives. She’d met his people lots of times during Chambers’ picnics when the poor souls at the nearby girls’ home were invited to attend.

  Rowan was nobody. For all anyone knew, she dropped out of the sky and landed on her head.

  From the first time she met Gage, he was in a perpetual good mood. Always joking with his friends and family, gently teasing his mom and elderly grandmother, and grinning or outright laughing non-stop.

  Being honest with herself, Rowan didn’t let down her guard long enough to laugh much. She worked hard in school once they estimated where to put her, trained hard in track when she got to high school, and kept her head down.

  She didn’t like attracting attention. For eight years, she’d lived with the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  Because she hadn’t fallen from the sky.

  Someone had given birth to her. Someone had hurt her badly. It was impossible to know the circumstances of how she ended up bloody and alone on a busy city street, but since no one had ever claimed her, she didn’t imagine the circumstances were good.

  Starting over with a name gleaned from scraps in her pocket and growing safely in a rural orphanage to adulthood didn’t erase who she was before that night.

  It simply paused her journey down that road.

  She had no doubt that someday, somehow, that old life would intersect with her new one. There were too many unanswered questions for her to believe that she could live a life like everyone else.

  One day, when her past came calling, it would likely involve more blood. She’d never link anyone else to that fate. That didn’t stop her heart from loving the man down the road.

  Gage was four years older than Rowan. As she aged, the way he looked at her changed.

  At seventeen, she attended a Fourth of July picnic at the Chambers’ property. All the girls at the orphanage dressed in hand-me-down clothes and donations.

  The kind elderly woman who ran the home for girls made sure they were comfortable but discouraged clothing that was too revealing.

  Miss Jeffries liked to tell them, “Men are gonna see your bodies over the years but you make ‘em earn the privilege and don’t give ‘em a free show before they do.”

  As Rowan hopped out of the orphanage van that hot summer day in jean shorts, a t-shirt, and sandals that didn’t give anybody a free show, Gage’s eyes locked on her from twenty feet away.

  The smile fell off his face. He went still, and she felt an almost predator vibe from where he stood across the gravel drive.

  Like any teenage girl without a clue about such things, a blushing Rowan kept herself busy helping Miss Jeffries and Gage’s mother setting up the food tables.

  Hours later, the object of her quiet and probably far too vanilla fantasies appeared in front of her. She placed a couple of slices of watermelon on a plate and held it out.

  “Rowan.”

  “H-hi, Gage.”

  His eyes flicked down and up again as he took the plate of watermelon. “Happy Fourth.”

  Clearing her throat nervously, she responded, “Same to you.”

  “You lookin’ forward to the fireworks?”

  “Oh, yes. Every year.”

  “I’ll save you a seat. Next to me.” She was unable to form a coherent reply. Gage winked at her and turned to walk away. “See ya later, Rowan. Thanks for the watermelon.”

  After dark, she was laughing with
her best friend Nina when a hand took hers unexpectedly and led Rowan to the edge of the field where all the guests sat on blankets and in lawn chairs.

  Gage tugged her down beside him on the grass. “This spot is perfect.” He was close enough for her to feel his body heat. “You smell good, Rowan.”

  “Uh, j-just soap.”

  “Hmm. You wear it well.”

  “I, uh, thank you…”

  “Do I make you nervous, Rowan?”

  Inhaling deeply, she turned and crisscrossed her legs. Folding her hands in her lap, she stared at the good-looking youngest son of a family who would never worry about money, what they stood for, where they’d come from, or where they were going.

  “Honestly? Yes, Gage. You make me nervous. You know a lot more about women than I know about men.”

  “Well, I…”

  “I wasn’t done. This is the first time you’ve been home since Christmas but you’re not the first person to notice my updated bra size.” She sighed. “I get it. Honestly, I do. I’m an easy mark and potential fun for the summer. Then you’ll go back to school and forget I exist.”

  “You think so?” he asked softly.

  “Yeah.” She glanced at her twined fingers. “I wouldn’t even mind, to tell you the truth. It’s how I figured things would go with a boy.” Meeting his gaze, she shook her head. “I’m seventeen, Gage. You’re twenty-one. Not such a big deal for the guy but...I have concerns. I don’t want to get derailed.”

  “So many big thoughts.” He reached out and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Your birthday is in June?” Surprised he remembered, she nodded. “Next year, when I’m done with college, you’ll be done with high school. You’ll be eighteen soon after.”

  Confused, she prompted, “And…?”

  “Be my girl. Let me be the first man to touch you.” Her eyes widened and a hot blush moved over her skin. “I know you better than you think I do. Let me show you how big a deal you are to me, Rowan.”

  Tilting her head, she asked with a frown, “Be your...girl?”

  Leaning close, he stared deeply into her eyes for a long moment. “Be my girl, Rowan. Over the next year, I’ll wait for you.”

  “Why would you do that?”

  “Somethin’ really amazin’ is worth waitin’ for, sweetheart.”

  “You’re going to wait a year to have sex with me and you want me to be your girlfriend?” Another thing Miss Jeffries always told the girls in her charge was that if something seemed too good to be true, check the fine print. “What am I missing here, Gage?”

  “I’ve been with plenty of girls…”

  “I appreciate the visual. Continue.”

  “Sorry. What I mean is...you’re different and I like it.” He shrugged one shoulder. “I wanna do things different with you.”

  “There has got to be a catch. No guy is that selfless.”

  Pressing his hand over his heart, he gasped dramatically. “You wound me with your wicked tongue.”

  “The truth...it burns?” She grinned at him.

  “How would you feel about kissin’ and a little heavy pettin’ here and there?” He held up his first two fingers and said, “I won’t compromise your honor. You have my word.”

  “You were an Eagle Scout. You better not break the code.”

  He looked highly offended. “I would never.”

  They stared at each other for a few seconds and she nodded. “Alright, Gage. Kissing and heavy petting.”

  A calculating expression crossed his face. “Can I steal a kiss now? Just one?”

  “Fine,” she answered almost inaudibly.

  Reaching up, he cupped her head just behind her ear and pressed his lips to hers. Rowan’s entire body felt like it was blushing. The first firework going off made her jump.

  He stroked his thumb along her jaw and murmured against her lips, “I couldn’t have timed that better if I tried.”

  Then Gage Chambers got serious.

  On a hot summer night, fireworks going off above them, with lips that tasted like watermelon and beer, he showed her what was possible.

  It was far from the last kiss they shared that night or the many that followed before he returned to college for the fall term. Whenever they could steal a moment alone, he touched her but kept his hands above her clothes and encouraged Rowan to do the same to him.

  Summer faded but his visit home for the holidays was tinged with a level of desperation. His kisses became more aggressive, his touches more intimate, and she struggled to remember the deal they made.

  All Miss Jeffries’ warnings about the heat of the moment constantly flickered through her mind.

  The last time Gage kissed her before returning to school for the winter term, he whispered, “I’m keepin’ my word. I’ll stay strong. You’re worth waitin’ for, Rowan. I love gettin’ your letters. I can hear you talkin’ to me when I read them.”

  “Then I’ll keep writing them,” she promised.

  A few months later, Gage returned to his hometown for Spring Break and personally organized huge outings with everyone at the girls’ home to have an excuse to spend more time with Rowan.

  Before he left for school, he whispered, “The next time I see you, I’m gonna make you mine for real, Rowan. I dream about it every night.”

  “So do I,” she admitted.

  “Good. I’ll do my best to live up to what you’ve imagined.”

  Nervous, she shared everything with her best friend. A few months older, Nina Adams had seen it all and done it all.

  “How in the hell have you kept this secret for almost a year?” the blonde asked in shock.

  Rowan shook her head. “It wasn’t easy. Believe me.”

  As the oldest, they shared the biggest and best bedroom at the girls’ home. The place housed eight at-risk girls who either had nowhere else to go or were in danger of ending up on the back of a milk carton. Some were adopted while others aged out and moved on to their adult lives.

  Like Nina and Rowan were about to do.

  The day before, they graduated high school. Miss Jeffries had seen them through to adulthood like no one else could have.

  Rowan had worked her ass off to win a scholarship to the University of Texas. With her grades, glowing recommendations from Miss Jeffries, Mrs. Chambers, and several charities she volunteered for – she was going to get a college education.

  Nina had chosen to try her hand at acting in New York City so they soaked up their last few days together. Neither knew when they might see one another again.

  Rowan was on her way to a future she never thought she’d have when she was ten. Her birthday was an arbitrary date determined the day she was found.

  In reality, she had no clue how old she was.

  No matter. She planned to celebrate her official embarkation into adulthood by giving Gage her virginity after a year of veritable torture.

  Nina demonstrated how to get out of the house before leaving herself. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Tugging her lower lip between her teeth, Rowan asked, “Where are you going?”

  “Out and about, my young friend.” Nina winked. “I wonder if you’ll still be sitting right here when I get back.”

  “Well...I won’t be and you’d better not make us late for the bus station in the morning. My bus leaves at nine and my job at the bookstore near campus starts Wednesday.”

  Laughing, Nina pulled her hair into a ponytail and straddled the windowsill. “I know, Miss Rowan. You’re such a good girl. It’s going to keep you from experiencing all the cool shit the world has to offer.”

  Sighing, Rowan said, “You’re probably right...but I’m really going tonight.”

  “I guess we’ll see. Later, Rowan.” Then Nina was gone.

  For half an hour, she stared at the open window nervously. She’d never broken a rule. She hated seeing a look of disappointment on Miss Jeffries’ face.

  Even when it was directed at one of the other girls.

 
Finally, she stood up and walked to the window while she gave herself a pep talk. “You’re eighteen now. A high school graduate. Tomorrow, you leave for college. It’s now or never. You and Gage made promises to each other and he’s waited all this time for you. Don’t be such a stickler for the rules.”

  Then she put her first foot out on the roof.

  Chapter One

  1995 - Age 18

  Rowan couldn’t believe she was finally sneaking out to see him. Terrified about breaking the rules, certain she’d get caught, she prayed the dogs on the property next to them didn’t start going crazy.

  Hounds could be heard for a damn mile.

  Climbing from her bedroom window on the second floor, she used the maple tree that grew beside the back porch to make her way to the ground like Nina showed her.

  The scariest part was running across the cleared yard to the fence then moving quickly in a crouch along it to the road.

  Out in the country, the only light was the moon. It made the fields on either side of the road glow. Rowan wasn’t afraid of much. For eight years, she’d been a mystery to herself and others.

  Tonight, Gage was going to show her a piece of herself that no one else ever had. Given her general mistrust of people, she doubted anyone else would touch her for a long time.

  She wondered if she’d ever see Gage again once she left for school. Something told her she wouldn’t and that was okay.

  Rowan had no illusions that Gage was going to be her happily ever after. She wasn’t naïve. She just wanted one memory to be with someone who knew what they were doing. Someone who wouldn’t hurt her or make it awful.

  A man who knew her and genuinely cared about her.

  It was a pretty low bar but she imagined most girls didn’t have such a chance. She wasn’t going to let hers slip by.

  Up ahead was the wide iron gate to the Chambers’ land and she took the smaller of the two entrances, made her way along the fence, and thought again about how pretty it was here.

  The moon gave everything a supernatural glow. It was almost magical. The tree line was dark and she could see the huge main house standing bright and elegant two hundred yards away with columns along the broad front porch.