by Sophie Meyer
Ray got quieter. “Maybe you don’t really know them, either. Maybe they’d all be with you, cheering you on?”
“Ray,” Ashley felt herself starting to tremble again, “you and my friends live in two different worlds.”
“As I see it, there’s only one world –some live in it negatively and some positively,” Ray replied, “and it changes. Everything can turn around.”
By now Ashley had enough lectures from Ray to last a lifetime. She smiled, gave him a hug, thanked him for everything, and said she could use a walk alone now, back to her place.
He agreed and waved good bye.
It felt good walking on the street by herself. The wind blew up a little, drifting over Ashley’s face, relaxing her and making her smile. Okay, she’d had a weekend adventure and that was that. Back to work tomorrow, back to reality. She almost longed for the structure of her office and work. She was good at what she did, got plenty of praise and approval for it. It gave her a feeling of solidity and value. She wasn’t really sure how all this had happened, how things had gone so far?
Ashley arrived at her apartment, as the sun was high over the hills. It cast a piercing glow through her windows that soothed her immediately. She took off her fancy dress, pulled on sweat pants and a sweat shirt and lay down on the coach. She’d take a quick nap before she called Heather, then would order in for dinner, and spend the rest of the evening, going over designs for work.
Ashley napped briefly, woke up and called Heather right away, eager to set things straight. Unfortunately, Heather’s message machine came on. Heather was probably busy dancing at the studio, thought Ashley. It would be okay, nothing to be concerned about. Heather was used to all kinds of surprising situations. She would definitely take Ashley’s foolish proclamation that she was engaged, in stride. How couldn’t she?
Ashley left a quick message. “Hey, Heather, it’s Ashley. Give me a call. I’m home now.” They’d get this straightened out in no time flat.
Ashley ordered in Chinese food, ate it quickly, and pulled out charts and projections related to the project she was handling at work. Just as she got started, the phone rang. Probably Heather, she thought, relieved.
“Hi,” Ashley picked up, eager to make light of the odd encounter she and Heather had this morning.
“Ashley!” Jessica was on the other end, her voice sounding ghastly, as if something dreadful had just taken place.
“My God, what’s wrong?” asked Ashley.
“You tell me,” Jessica demanded.
“Tell you what?” Ashley was totally unprepared for Jessica’s grim tone.
“Listen, Ashley, this is no time for playing games,” Jessica continued, obviously distressed.
Ashley’s body started trembling. She was overly exhausted and this didn’t feel good.
“I thought we were best friends,” Jessica said quickly.
“Of course we are,” Ashley responded. She had no idea what was bothering Jessica so much.
“So, if we are best friends, I would appreciate if you would tell me exactly what is going on?” Jessica was obviously trying to gain control. “Have you looked at your Facebook page lately?”
Ashley suddenly felt a cold chill flow up her spine. “No, I haven’t. Why?”
“Well, I suggest you take a look and call me back.”
“Wait a minute, Jess,” Ashley felt terrified.
“Do it, you’ll see,” and Jessica hung up the phone.
Ashley immediately went online. Her Facebook page was flooded with messages of congratulations. Ashley’s planning a wedding was splashed all over. Congratulations, Ashley, congratulations. Who’s the lucky guy?
Ashley felt dizziness come upon her as she sank her head down into her hands. This was horrible, humiliating. Heather must have told someone about it. They told someone else. That’s all it took. Jessica must have seen it posted on Facebook. It was a total nightmare!
Ashley quickly switched to her personal email, which was flooded with messages as well. Oh God, everyone knew! She wanted to disappear forever.
The phone rang again. Ashley picked up feeling sick to her stomach.
“So?” Jessica demanded.
Ashley wanted to tell Jessica everything, say it’s all a horrible mistake, but she couldn’t. First of all, she didn’t think Jessica would buy it, secondly it was worse admitting that she had lied to Heather, had she’d actually gone looking for wedding invitations and pretended to be engaged. What an idiot she’d look like then.
Jessica was extremely upset. “Why did I have to hear about it this way, if we’re really best friends?”
Ashley tried to think fast, but didn’t know what to say. Jessica must have taken her silence for shame.
“You promised me that when you got married I’d definitely be the Maid of Honor! Don’t you remember?”
Ashley shuffled through her memories quickly. She did remember saying it jokingly one day when she and Jessica were walking along Third Avenue, looking at diamond rings grandly displayed in the fancy shop windows. They were just having fun, Ashley had said it lightly.
“So how can you not tell your Maid of Honor in person that you’re getting married?”
“It’s not at all like you think,” was all Ashley could manage.
“So, clue me in! Exactly who are you marrying? And when?” Jessica was intransigent.
Ashley felt like she was going to throw up.
“Am I the Maid of Honor or not?”
“Of course you’re the Maid of Honor,” Ashley barely got out.
Jessica sighed, audibly relieved. “Well, that’s something, anyway. You promise?”
“Of course I promise,” whispered Ashley, only wanting to quiet her down.
“Okay, you promised, that’s a beginning. Next, we have to meet right after work tomorrow. There’s a thousand things to get done. I’ll see you at six at Happy Hour at Crystals, and you’ll fill me in on everything. I want to hear who he is in person, not over the phone!”
Crystals was a local single’s bar that Ashley usually enjoyed stopping into after work.
“I’ll see you tomorrow at six at Crystals,” Ashley said, and hung up the phone.
Oh God, thought Ashley, things were totally spinning out of control. She felt as though she’d been swooped up by a tornado that just kept whirling and wouldn’t put her down. She immediately dialed Ray, who picked up immediately.
“It’s a nightmare, it’s a nightmare,” Ashley yelled over the phone.
“Hold on, what happened?” asked Ray.
“It’s a nightmare, “Ashley yelled again, hoping that if she yelled loud enough, she’d wake up and find out she’d been only dreaming.
“Keep your courage up! Keep your courage up! It’s darkest before the dawn,” Ray answered intensely. “Talk to me, Ashley, what’s going on?”
“Everybody’s found out! Everybody! Heather told people she saw us and it spread like wildfire. Everyone thinks I’m getting married. I’m getting congratulations messages from all over the place. The whole world thinks I’m planning a wedding.”
“Wow,” said Ray, “I’m really impressed.”
“Impressed? Are you crazy? I’m going to be the laughing stock of everyone. They’ll be talking about this forever.”
“I mean look how powerful you must be, to get the message out like that!”
“Earth to Ray, earth to Ray,” Ashley felt like crying. “This isn’t power, it’s humiliation.”
“It’s what you decide to make it, Ashley,” Ray answered swiftly.
“Jessica called and was so upset she hadn’t heard the news from me directly. She made say I’d keep my promise to her to be my Maid of Honor.”
“Did you?”
“Of course. I’m not the kind who breaks promises.”
“Great.”
“There’s nothing great about it, Ray. Not one thing. One lie is piling on another.”
“No, the plans are just becoming more and more real,” he said
.
“What’s real? I’m not dating anyone.”
“Maybe not yet. But you are planning a wedding!”
Ashley felt a sharp pain go through her temples, the start of a migraine probably. In a way it would be a huge relief to get a migraine, stay in bed, never have to come out and face the world. What kind of world was it anyway, that would let something like this happen? She didn’t feel safe anymore, felt as though the earth could disappear in a moment under her feet.
“After all, look at it this way,” Ray went on. “Everything’s on course. We decided to plan the wedding even before the groom came.”
“You decided! I didn’t decide,” Ashley shot back at him, momentarily enraged.
“But you agreed! And once a decision is made, it starts things in motion. Things begin to happen you never could imagine. The universe acts in mysterious ways,” Ray said.
“I’m not interested in mystery and I never decided,” Ashley repeated vehemently.
“That’s not true, Ashley, face it!” Now Ray was getting worked up, too. “Somewhere inside you agreed. You turned up for the workshop, didn’t you? You came with me to look for wedding invitations. A part of you really wants to be married. To find the perfect groom. A part of you is really longing for love.”
“A very small, hidden part, Ray,” Ashley said then, feeling almost defeated.
“But that part’s growing fast,” Ray added. “And the universe is helping!”
Ashley’s head felt garbled and she wanted to hang up.
“I’m devastated,” she repeated, “and I actually have to meet Jessica tomorrow at Crystals at six o’clock.”
Ray took a deep breath. “That’s wonderful,” Ray said softly, “Things are sure going fast.”
“Okay, good night, Ray,” Ashley said then, unable to get either the sympathy or sanity she needed.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” said Ray.
“Whatever,” said Ashley, and hung up the phone.
SCENE 11
The next day at the office, Ashley could barely concentrate. Emails kept pouring in, asking for the news. Of course she wasn’t answering. First she had to plan out carefully what she would say, how she could defuse this storm. Thankfully, the people she worked with seemed to know nothing about what was going on. The office was a safe haven, for now anyway.
At ten o’clock, Peter Galbian, who sat in the office next to hers, came by to say good morning, as he did every day. He was a little shorter than her, stocky, extremely friendly, and a wonderful manager. He led his team terrifically, everyone respected him, and he was single! Ashley shuddered at the thought that she might now look at every guy as to whether or not his was single.
“Hey, Ashley, how was the long weekend?” Peter was upbeat as usual, stopping at her doorway, drinking his coffee out of his favorite green mug.
“Fine, Peter,” Ashley tried to be upbeat, but couldn’t quite make it.
Peter noticed right away and took a step inside. “Something wrong? You look awful,” he said.
Ashley’s hand went to cover her face, smooth out her hair. Was it possible that everyone could see it?
“I don’t mean awful that way! You never could look awful. I mean you look exhausted.” He was doing his best to correct what he’d said.
“I don’t feel so well, Peter,” Ashley was desperate to cover up.
“Sure, I realize,” said Peter. “Why don’t you go home early and get some rest. There’s a stomach bug going around, my cousin Arnold has it.”
Peter always had a way of helping everyone save face.
“I’m sorry about Arnold,” said Ashley, “but no, it’s not a stomach bug and I don’t want to go home. I’ve got a lot to do here, and deadlines are coming due.”
“You work too hard, Ashley,” he suddenly said, “give yourself a break. Go home and rest.”
“I like work. I need it,” she answered, thrilled to be safe in the office.
He stopped then and looked at her oddly. “Did something happen this weekend?” he said.
For a quick moment Ashley wanted to cry and tell him every single thing. Of course she couldn’t do either of those things. They had a professional relationship that had to be kept solid, and she liked keeping it that way.
“No, nothing happened. Why do you say that?”
Peter turned and drank up what was left of his coffee, not wanting to pry. “I don’t know,” he said, “nothing really. But you know, if you ever need someone to talk, I’m right here. One office away.”
Ashley looked at him and smiled. What a dear man he was.
“People say I’m good to talk to,” Peter added, as he turned to the doorway, giving her a big smile.
Ashley felt thankful to him from the bottom of her heart. She’d actually never felt so grateful to anyone before.
“I really appreciate that, Peter,” she felt her lower lip tremble.
“I know you do,” he answered, quickly looking down at the floor and then walking out.
The rest of the day was a blur. Ashley did her best to concentrate, focus on details, pull things together. Peter stopped into her office once or twice more just to check and see if she needed something.
“Really, I’m fine, Peter,” Ashley promised.
He flushed. “Breaking up can be hard,” he said, the second time he came in.
Ashley froze. Had he heard the news? She didn’t know how.
“What do you mean?” she asked trying to be lighthearted.
“I just broke up myself, two weeks ago,” he said in a low tone. “Felt terrible for days. Much worse than when I had a stomach bug.”
Peter obviously thought she’d just broken up, that was why she looked so bedraggled. Was he also letting her know he was available now? She hoped not. She liked him so much as a colleague and friend, but never, ever as a boyfriend. Ashley suddenly realized that she had no idea what he was thinking, though. She knew Peter was shy and sensitive. Maybe this was his way of reaching out? Oh God, Ashley gathered all her energy together.
“I haven’t broken up with anyone,” she said brightly. She wanted to keep the lines between them clear.
“Well, I’m glad you haven’t,” Peter sounded a bit disappointed.
“Thanks,” said Ashley, “I’m glad too.”
At a quarter to six, Ashley finished up the design she was trying to work on, and called it a day. She’d decided that as soon as she saw Jessica she was going to tell her the truth. They were best friends after all. That’s what a best friend was for. Instead of letting Jessica get roped into this fantasy, Ashley would get her advice on how to straighten things out. She would plunge in and tell Jessica about the workshop, explain that she was just doing an exercise when Heather happened to pop into the store. It was the truth, after all. What better way was there than to put an end of this madness, than to actually tell the truth.
The truth will set you free, Ashley thought. It was a saying that had always meant a lot to her, and it gripped her now. When Ashley told Jessica what happened, she’d definitely understand. They’d both probably have a good laugh.
*
Happy hour at Crystals was going strong when Ashley got there. The place was filled with people of all ages, mostly singles, but you never knew. There were also guys there pretending to be single. Everyone was decompressing from work, drinking, chatting, looking each other over, wondering if there might be someone there they could have dinner with that night.
The minute Ashley walked in she spotted Jessica was sitting up front at the bar, waiting for her. She’d saved a seat for Ashley right next to her, saw Ashley the minute she walked in, and waved. Ashley worked her way through the crowds of people and over to Jessica. There were some familiar faces, who waved and smiled as Ashley slid through to the bar. Ashley was comfortable here, came here often. It was a congenial crowd that she fit into.
When she got to the bar, Jessica pulled out the chair for her.
“Thanks for saving a seat,” Ash
ley said quickly.
“No problem,” said Jessica, as the two of them stared at each other for a second, as if they were aliens. This was much more uncomfortable than Ashley anticipated.
“Should I order champagne, or will you have the usual?” Jessica asked as Ashley smoothed out her skirt.
“There’ll be plenty of time for champagne toasts,” Ashley said, to defray the sting of the comment.
Jessica’s eyebrows rose. “There definitely will,” she said.
Ashley leaned forward and ordered her usual martini, not meeting Jessica’s glance. She could use a drink before she launched into her well-rehearsed story about the workshop, the exercise and what happened next.
“I’m just dying to hear every little detail,” Jessica said, as Ashley waited to be served. “I have no idea why it’s all so sudden and shocking, but that just adds to the thrill of it, I guess?”
Jessica was clearly trying to defuse the tension, to get on board, be a friend. She had no idea that with every word she was speaking, Ashley’s anxiety was going up a notch.
The drink came and Ashley took it quickly.
“Weddings always cause all kinds of nerves,” Jessica said, “you always hear that people start to act strangely. Of course I wouldn’t know personally. Winn and I aren’t even close to getting there, yet.”
Thankfully, Jessica gave Ashley an opening to comment on something else besides herself.
“Think you and Winn will be getting there soon?” Ashley asked to defray the tension.
Jessica looked up at the ceiling and shrugged. “Maybe? It doesn’t much matter to me, though. We’re doing fine right now. Why spoil a good thing, I always say.”
“Got a point there,” said Ashley.
“Which is not to say I’m against weddings. Heaven forbid. I think they’re wonderful.”
“For someone else, though,” Ashley laughed.
Jessica laughed back with her. “Maybe,” she admitted.
It felt wonderful laughing together, easing the tension, talking honestly. Ashley was about to launch into her story, when she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder.