by Sophie Meyer
Ashley spun around and there was Ray standing behind her, slipping in between her and Jessica.
“Great to see you, Ashley,” Ray said.
“Who this?” Jessica asked, her eyes wide open, “the fabulous groom?”
“This is Ray,” said Ashley, totally surprised to see him. This was the last thing she needed now. “Ray’s my yoga teacher and good friend.”
“Well, hi, Ray,” said Jessica, “I’ve heard about your great classes. It’s really nice to see you here.”
Ray smiled warmly. “Nice to see you, too.”
Ashley felt restless and shaky. She slid over to make room for Ray and let her glance wander down to the other end of the bar. Two good looking guys she’d never seen before were sitting there, talking. One looked over her way from time to time. Ashley wanted to run over there, sit down next to him, flirt with him for all she was worth. Anything to get away from being grilled by Jessica, dealing with Ray, or talking about a wedding that would never take place. Ashley smiled at the cute guy lightly, and he smiled back.
“So, come on, let’s have it,” Jessica pulled Ashley’s attention back to the matter at hand. “Does Ray know about the wedding?”
Ashley was about to tell her it wasn’t happening, when suddenly Ray chimed in.
“I’ve known about the wedding for a full two days now,” he said. “Two amazing, exciting days!”
“Oh my God,” Jessica said to him, “is the groom a friend of yours?”
Ashley smiled oddly. Good, now he was getting what he deserved. Now he was on the spot. Neither of them said anything.
“Is he?” Jessica insisted, staring at Ray fitfully.
“I’ll let Ashley fill you in on the details,” Ray smiled mysteriously. “It’s not for me to tell her secrets.”
That made sense and Jessica turned bluntly to Ashley, “So, why is this a secret in the first place?”
Ashley was speechless. Something in Jessica’s eyes told her it wasn’t going to be easy. Jessica was zoning in on her with a fierce, implacable energy that burst through every word she said. She was determined to get the facts straight, to line them up in perfect order. It was a quality about her that Ashley’d always admired.
Ray stepped in for Ashley immediately. He had no intention of letter Jessica run the show.
“The wedding’s not a secret at all,” he answered, “it’s just that not too many people know yet. You do though.”
That seemed to please her to some extent.
“And, besides, this is hard for Ashley,” Ray continued, undaunted.
Jessica stared at Ashley deeply. “Why is it hard, Ashley? Tell me, why? I really want to know. I’m listening.”
Ashley had to speak.
“Because we just met,” Ashley finally said. There was no choice, nothing else she could utter.
“You just met the guy you’re marrying?” Jessica was open mouthed.
“It’s all very recent, Jessica, very sudden.” Ashley didn’t know where the words were coming from and why they were coming at all. She just knew as she sat there between Jessica and Ray, there was no way she could tell her it was all made up.
“Love at first sight? Instant attraction?” Jessica’s eyes narrowed. “I never thought that would happen to you.”
“Neither did I,” Ashley confessed.
“Isn’t it wonderful?” Ray murmured. “Every girl’s dream come true.”
That definitely rubbed Jessica the wrong way. “Not every girl, not all of us want to be picked up and tossed around by sudden love. Ever heard of people getting shipwrecked on the shore?”
Ashley had never heard Jessica speak this way, never knew she had these kinds of fears about love.
“I never had any idea you were afraid of love, Jess,” Ashley said surprised.
“Who says I’m afraid?” Jessica’s face flushed, “and who says blind infatuation is love?”
“Oh, this is way more than infatuation,” Ralph assured her.
“Good, I’m glad,” Jessica, scraped her chair back, away from him. Clearly, she didn’t like Ray at all. For a second she looked at Ashley as if to say, who is this guy?
“Don’t worry, it’s all going to work out,” Ashley was stunned to see herself trying to reassure Jessica.
“I hope so, I really do,” Jessica said, nervous. “And what about your family, Ashley? What do they think about him?”
Ashley suddenly remembered that thankfully her family had just left for a European vacation. They wouldn’t be hearing about this from anyone, for a little while anyway. One less thing to worry about.
“They’re in Europe for a vacation,” said Ashley.
“Bad timing,” said Jessica. “You could certainly use your mom around now.”
Ashley swallowed hard. Having her mom around now was the last thing she needed.
“They wanted to take a little trip before Trish’s baby is born,” she said.
“Okay, I get it,” said Jessica. “So, when’s the wedding? Where’s the guy? When do we get to meet him?”
Ray smiled calmly and Ashley scratched her throat.
“He’s out of town for a little while right now,” said Ashley slowly.
“Out of town, where? Why?”
“His work forces him to travel,” said Ashley, calmly. “He’s quite cosmopolitan.”
Jessica looked at her strangely. “Cosmopolitan? That’s not usually the kind of guy you like.”
“Our tastes can change at any moment,” Ray chimed in. “Look at me, for instance, I used to love cheesecake, now I’m addicted to blueberry pie.”
Jessica cast him another off handed glance, as if she had no idea where he came from, but she couldn’t wait to get away. Then she turned back to Ashley.
“What does the groom do? What’s his name?” Jessica would not be silenced. “And how in the world did you meet him?”
Ashley threw Ray a quick look for immediate assistance.
“His name is Gideon Tallon,” Ray announced.
“What?” said Jessica, “you’ve got to be kidding me. What kind of name is that?”
“A perfectly good name,” Ashley defended him reflexively.
“Gideon Tallon! I never heard a name like that before.”
“He’s different alright,” said Ray, shaking his head, “but what’s in a name?”
“Different? In what way?” Jessica asked.
Horrified at the way things were unfolding, Ashley looked down again towards the end of the bar. The cute guy was leaning towards her, smiling openly, wondering what was going on. Ashley gave him a quick nod, hoping he would come over and rescue her from this awful moment, sweep her away with him out of this place. She never, ever had wanted to pick up someone so badly before.
“Okay,” Jessica said then, suddenly turning all business and whipping her I pad out of her huge tote bag. “We’ll meet him when we meet him, but clearly the wedding has to be planned.”
“Exactly!” said Ray loudly. “You’ve got it perfectly right!”
Jessica winced. Ray was a total irritation to her and it was clear she didn’t want to hear another word from him. She turned to her I pad, pressed a few buttons, opened it up and began making notes.
“Before we do anything we have to join tie the knot.com. I found out all about them last night. You list details of the wedding and they send you notices all the time about what you have to do when. It’s an incredible resource. Let’s join right now.”
“I’m not really sure,” Ashley started.
“No, it’s a great idea, join!” Ray cut in.
Jessica quickly went to the website and typed in some information. “You’ll fill in details and they’ll be in touch with you constantly. Let’s start now.” She typed a few words in and then asked, “Do you have the wedding date?”
“Not yet,” Ashley said.
“We almost have it,” again Ray interrupted. “It’s very soon. About six weeks!”
“Six weeks?” Ashley thought Je
ssica was going to fall off her barstool. “Who can plan a wedding in six weeks?”
“It’s been done before and we can do it,” Ray insisted.
Jessica leered at him. “We?”
“I’m here to help in every way,” he insisted.
That seemed to be the last thing Jessica wanted to hear. “What’s the rush, Ashley?” Jessica seemed terrified now.
“There’s a reason for everything,” Ray announced.
“I’ll tell you later,” Ashley said to Jessica gently, as if to soften the blow.
“Well, we definitely have to start making appointments to hear bands, see flowers, find photographers, makeup artists and hair,” Jessica was speaking at the speed of lightening. “Of course even before that we’ve got to find a wedding dress and book a venue -. None of this has been done yet, has it?”
Ashley nodded no.
“Obviously, you need a lot of help, Ashley.”
“You got that right. I certainly do,” Ashley said slowly.
“But you’ve got the perfect Maid of Honor. I know how to get things organized in a flash.”
“Thank you, Jess, you’re wonderful,” said Ashley.”
The thrill of planning the wedding was lifting Jessica’s spirits by the minute. “First we’ll look at dresses! Then there are fittings! Yikes, how much time are we looking at?”
But just at that moment, the cute guy from the end of the bar sauntered over to where they were sitting.
Ashley was so relieved. She turned her head towards him and smiled invitingly as he smiled back at her.
“I’m Roger,” he said, introducing himself.
“I’m Ashley,” she answered, delighted. But the encounter was not to be long lived.
“Wait a minute! Wait a minute!” Jessica broke in, “what are you two doing?” Then she turned directly to Roger. “There’s no point in introducing yourself. Ashley’s taken. She’s engaged. We’re actually planning her wedding as we speak!”
CHAPTER 11
Happy Hour was over, Jessica left quickly to return to her apartment, do research and making appointments for them to look at wedding dresses. Ashley and Ray left Crystals and were walking on the street. It was still somewhat light out, but getting hazier, almost twilight, usually Ashley’s favorite time of day.
“I’ll walk you back to your apartment,” Ray offered happily, seeming to feel great.
“Not necessary,” said Ashley, her blood boiling.
She couldn’t let this go on, had to stand up to him and put a stop to it. How dare he barge into Happy Hour? He was taking over her life. Ashley couldn’t play the game any longer. “Who asked you to come tonight, Ray?”
Ray seemed shocked for a second. “I thought you might need me,” he replied. “I sensed it.”
“I didn’t need you, Ray,” Ashley shot back, surprising herself. “I needed to be alone with Jessica and tell her what was really going on.”
“You told her and you did wonderfully!” Ray said quickly.
“I didn’t do wonderfully and I’m furious with you for backing me into a corner. This has gone way further than I ever intended. And, it’s getting harder and harder to get out of it.”
But no matter how angry she was, Ray seemed unaffected.
“What is it exactly you want to get out of?” he replied. “You want to get out of finding someone to love? Get out of making your dreams come true?”
“Get off it,” Ashley almost screamed! “I’m sick of hearing that.”
“Face it, Ashley. Face yourself!”
“What exactly is there to face?”
“Listen to what you’re telling me. You’re saying you have no idea who you are or what there is to face. You’re saying it’s more important how your friends see you, than to find a great guy to build a beautiful life with.”
“I’m not saying anything like that at all,” Ashley countered.”
“Oh yes, you are. All this time I haven’t heard one word about trying to bring the groom into your life!”
“Maybe because I don’t want to go through crazy gyrations to attract someone to my side!”
“But nothing else has worked so far, has it?” Ray couldn’t be shaken.
“Of course things work, things work all the time. There are plenty of guys who like me, approach me, want to date me!” And it was true. Ashley never lacked for someone to go out with.
“Like that sleazy guy, Roger, at the bar tonight?”
“Sleazy? Roger wasn’t the least bit sleazy!” Ashley felt better just thinking of him, he was adorable, smooth, charming.
“Oh my God,” Ray murmured. “Is a guy like that really for you?”
“How do I know?” she answered. “We didn’t even have a chance to speak. Jessica stopped it immediately.” Ashley was inflamed at the thought of it.
“It’s not hard to figure out who he is if you pay a little attention. He was looking everyone over, he’s obviously a player who gathers women for his collection. You want to be one of them? No wonder you’ve been having a string of bad dates, if you’re choosing guys like that.”
Ashley almost felt as if she hated Ray at the moment. Besides, what did he know about love? She hadn’t asked him about his own love life, but was about to very soon. Why was he so interested in hers, anyway? Not only did Ashley feel furious, she now felt ashamed. Was Ray suggesting she couldn’t trust her own judgment?
“I don’t want to hurt you, Ashley,” Ray said softly then. “I’m trying to help, I really am. Don’t feel badly, you can turn all this around.”
Ashley turned and looked at him, suddenly curious. “Really? I have to be realistic, don’t I? When is enough, enough? At a certain point I’m going to have to tell my friends I’m not with anyone.”
“Why assume you’re not going to be with anyone?” Ray was on fire again. “That’s what I mean? You don’t believe! It’s your doubt that’s stopping everything! After you give this a fair try, at some point you can always back out. You can tell them the relationship wasn’t working, that you broke up, or something like that. What’s the big deal? It happens all the time.”
That was true, it did. It made Ashley feel better to have some kind of out.
“In the meantime,” Ray’s voice grew louder, really focus on finding him! Give love a real try. Remember what we learned at the workshop. You have to visualize yourself as a success. See what it feels like to be a bride! Go with Jessica to look for wedding dresses, put them on, walk around in them, know what it feels like to be cherished by someone!”
To her horror, Ashley felt like crying. She’d never thought of herself being cherished. That word itself made her feel awful.
“I’m not sure I want to be cherished by someone,” she said. “I certainly don’t expect it.”
“That’s exactly why it’s not happening,” Ray’s face lit up.
“What about you, Ray?” she shot back. “Have you ever been cherished by someone? Is that something you want?”
He grew very silent and Ashley became afraid.
“Yes, I have,” he finally said softly. “We loved each other very much. He was killed in a car accident about two years ago. It happened fast.”
Ashley gasped, she’d had no idea. “I’m so very sorry, Ray, really.”
“It’s okay,” he said, “I never talk about it, but I can tell you. After all, we’re Support Buddies, aren’t we?”
“Yes, we are, yes, definitely.” Ashley was totally horrified, both at what happened to Ray and to her own self-centeredness.
“I know what it means to be cherished,” Ray went on, “and someday, when I’m ready, I’ll have it again. Right now I’m focusing on building my yoga classes, finding the right studio, getting strong!”
“That’s a wonderful thing to focus on,” Ashley said softly, her anger dissolving like a mist.
“And I’m doing the exercises,” Ray went on, “picturing myself in the perfect studio. “It’s working, I’m getting more and more calls about places
opening! And more students are also coming my way.”
“That’s fabulous!” Ashley said.
They’d been actually walking about five blocks already, getting closer to the park. Ashley wanted to go to a bench with him, sit down and just take some time together, let the day go by. She was suddenly exhausted.
“We all made a promise to Vince in the workshop,” Ray’s voice was softer then. “Do you remember?”
Ashley shook her head, no.
“Vince asked us if we were ready to live the lives we were truly capable of? We all shouted Yes!”
Obviously Ray took everything so seriously, every word Vince said. It was a good quality, she guessed, but Ray took it to the limit and beyond.
“Vince also said to make a list of everything you want in a guy. Read it over and over, dwell on the qualities you desire both in a guy and a relationship! If you do that, he has no choice! He’ll have to show up!”
Ashley smiled, it seemed as if Ray had memorized the entire workshop.
“Let’s go the park and do it!” Ray insisted.
“Do what?” Ashley turned and stared at him.
“Make the list! I’m your support buddy. I’ll help you.”
“Okay, okay,” said Ashley, “but that’s not exactly what I was thinking about.”
“What were you thinking, Ashley?”
“I was actually hoping you could find love, too” she said. The story Ray had told her of the man he loved who was killed troubled her more than she could have ever imagined. Ray had gone through really terrible pain and was so concerned now with helping her.
In the growing dusk, she saw Ray smile and reach out his hand for her.
“I have love, every minute,” he said. “There’s all kinds of love in the universe, and the more I give to others, the more comes back to me, too.”
Tears filled Ashley’s eyes. Ray was one of the dearest souls she’d ever known.
“Thanks for saying that, Ray. And it’s true, you give so much to everyone.”
“Come on, Ash,” he said, “let go into the park now, sit down on a bench and make the list!”
How could she say no? She couldn’t. This meant so much to Ray, and he meant a lot to her, too.