by Sophie Meyer
a tornado had swept into her life, and she couldn’t put a stop to it either, no matter what she tried to do.
She arrived at her apartment, threw herself down on the sofa and immediately dialed Ray.
“Are you in the middle of a class or something?” Ashley asked the second he picked up the phone.
“Between classes,” he said, “what’s up?”
“Things are out spinning out of control.
“Tell me about it,” he said quickly, “sudden change is always good. It’s a sign that things are working.”
“I’ve found a wedding dress that I truly love,” said Ashley, not knowing where to start and not able to get the dress out of her mind.
“Wow,” said Ray, truly moved, “wow, wow, wow. Is it a beautiful dress?”
“That’s not the point, but yes, it’s magnificent,” said Ashley despite herself. “We have it on hold. Jessica left a deposit and it hardly needs any alterations at all.”
“That’s sooo fantastic,” Ray whispered. “You’re just what I needed to hear right now. You have no idea how this news inspires me! You’ve restored my confidence and hope.”
Ashley was stopped cold. Oh God, now she couldn’t possibly tell him how dazed and frightened she felt.
“What else?” he sounded psyched.
“Jessica wants to hire a wedding planner! And Heather knows someone great! Isn’t it too much, Ray?”
“Not at all,” Ray answered excited, “it just shows that the universe is on your side. It’s supporting you! Your affirmations are working! Every man is a golden link in your chain of success! That’s an affirmation I’m working on myself. And in your life, it’s coming true.”
“I’m not sure it’s coming true, Ray. I found a dress I love, but there’s no guy to wear it for!”
“So, now you have to really focus on that! Have you gone on your dating sites? Are you answering emails?”
“No,” Ashley said in a small voice.
“Well, at least your Speed Dating night is in a couple of days. I told you, you have to be out there making yourself available. Is there anything else coming up? And how about at work? Anyone there?”
Ashley thought of the tradeshow coming up. There’d be tons of guys there. That’s where she’d met Brad, and she truly hoped she wouldn’t run into him again. Then the thought of Peter flashed through her mind. He’d definitely been acting odd lately.
“There’s this guy at work, Peter.”
“Yes?” asked Ray excited.
“He told me he just broke up with someone and he’s acting different around me.”
“Fabulous! Obviously, he likes you,” said Ray, “or else why would he have told you that he broke up. Could it be Him?”
“No,” gasped Ashley, “Peter’s definitely not my type. He’s a colleague, a peer, a friend!
“Open your mind, Ashley! Give him a chance! The guys you think are your type aren’t necessarily sent from heaven.”
This was just too much. Peter was wonderful, kind, stable, but definitely not someone Ashley ever wanted to date. “He’s the perfect friend, and that’s it,” she insisted.
“He has to be more or you wouldn’t have mentioned him to me. There’s no time to close out any possibilities. You have to take a good look whoever shows up,” Ray insisted. “Say your affirmations, read your list. Are you reading it every day?”
Oh God, Ashley was sorry she’d ever called him now. She wasn’t even sure what she had wanted from him, but now she wanted to get off the phone.
“I’m so happy I could be an inspiration to you, Ray,” she said.
“You are, you are, keep going strong! And, remember what Vince told us over and over – if you build it, they will come!”
CHAPTER 14
The tradeshow was the beginning of next week and Ashley didn’t have time for fooling around. She had to get her designs complete, so when she came into work the next day, she threw herself wholeheartedly into it.
By eleven thirty she looked up and realized to her surprise that Peter hadn’t stopped by to say hello today. It was unusual, but she was not going to dwell on it, couldn’t let herself get caught wondering about him.
She spun around in her chair and clicked open her email to check on details of the show. To her horror, once again she saw her email box flooded with messages for her, both direct messages and on Facebook.
Ashley quickly opened her Facebook page and screamed. Photos of her trying on the wedding gowns were posted to her page! Ashley’s heart started pounding out of her mouth! How in the world could someone have done something like that? She grabbed her phone to call Jessica, but before she had a chance to dial, the phone rang.
“Oh my God, oh my God,” it was Robyn, “I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Soooo beautiful. I only wish I’d been there to see it in person.”
Ashley wanted to say that it’s all been a horrible mistake, but Robyn went on quickly. “You can’t believe how happy you’re going to be. I just love Tom, I just love being married, and so far the pregnancy’s been a dream.”
Ashley was going to respond, but before she could get a word out, Robyn went on, “I have to go this minute, it’s busy in the office. I’m just so happy for you, Ashley, we all are.” And she hung up.
Robyn was a relatively new friend, very happily married, who always soothed Ashley’s heart.
Ashley started to dial Jessica then, but in the middle, stopped. She had to slow down and think this over. First of all she wasn’t sure it was Jessica who did it, secondly, even if she did, she might have meant well by it.
The phone rang again then and Ashley picked it up, fast.
“I didn’t do this,” Jessica started. “I’m not sure who did, but I’m sorry, I really am.”
“My wedding gown, posted all over Facebook!” Ashley said, horrified, “even before I get to wear it.”
“People won’t remember,” Jessica said, trying to calm her, “do you know who did it?”
“It couldn’t have been Shane,” Ashley was definite.
“Had to be Heather,” said Jessica, “she gets carried away, doesn’t always know what’s appropriate.”
“That’s putting it mildly,” said Ashley.
“Listen, it’s my fault too,” said Jessica. “I had no right to invite Heather to go shopping with us without your approval. I’ve seen her cross the line before. You and I hadn’t even talked about whether she’d be in the wedding party and I jumped the gun.”
Ashley was taken aback, this was a different Jessica than she knew before.
“We’ve got to meet right after work tonight,” Jessica continued, “to get some basic details straight.”
Ashley had absolutely no desire to see Jessica again so soon. Then she suddenly realized, she’d made Jessica into the Maid of Honor, they’d be in touch from now on several times a day, at least.
“Let’s meet at five thirty, just quickly, for drinks,” Jessica added.
“At Crystals?” asked Ashley hopeful. It would be good to disappear into the dim lights and mix and mingle at her old single’s haunt again.
“No,” said Jessica emphatically, “that’s Happy Hour for singles, and you are definitely out of that category now!”
*
Jessica and Ashley met promptly at five thirty that evening at the outdoor café on route to Palisades Park. Ashley loved this area, the palm trees, the sweet smelling air, and the sprawling sky usually made her feel as though each day were a party. There were beautiful places to run, roller blade, walk and talk right along the water’s edge. Work and life were perfectly balanced. At least they had been, until all of this.
Jessica had arrived a few minutes before Ashley and stood up when Ashley appeared.
They ordered fruit smoothies and vegetable wraps and Ashley drummed her fingers on the table, eager to get this over with, go home, get away and figure the perfect way to end this complete charade.
“The hardest part of all is coming up right now,” J
essica said, solemnly. “It’s time to choose the bridal party. Do you know already who you’re choosing?”
Ashley hadn’t given a moment’s thought to it. She didn’t really care.
“It’s the most important thing you do,” Jessica continued, “the women you choose will be totally here for you throughout this entire process, come hell or high water.”
More likely hell, thought Ashley.
“They stay at your side, are there to turn to. Your entire life long you remember who they are. They guard your heart, they guard your marriage. They’re like angels surrounding you. You help them choose their bridesmaids dresses, pick the colors, buy them lovely gifts and give it to them at the wedding.”
And what about you, Ashley wanted to ask her, don’t you want bridesmaids too?
“You know an awful lot about weddings, Jess,” Ashley simply said, impressed.
“I really don’t, I only know the basics, but believe me, I’m learning fast. I take this honor seriously, Ashley.”
From out of nowhere, Ashley wanted to cry. “You do? Really?”
“Absolutely,” said Jessica, “that’s why I hired Tanya, the wedding planner Heather recommended! We can use all the help we can get!”
“You hired her without asking me? Ashley was dumbfounded.
“Don’t worry, I’m meeting her soon and I’ll coordinate all of it for you. She’s not costing anything and she’s supposed to be fabulous. I heard she’s incredibly dramatic with a natural flair for putting your wedding over the top! She’ll make it a day no one will ever forget!”
Another nail in the coffin, thought Ashley, suddenly swept up in gloom.
“What’s wrong?” asked Jessica, noticing Ashley’s mood change.
“So much to think of,” Ashley murmured softly.
“I know, I know,” said Jessica, “that’s what you have bridesmaids for, we take the burden from you. We handle details so you can enjoy your love.”
Tears welled in Ashley’s eyes. How could she ever tell them there was no groom, no love, this was all a fantasy. Like billiard balls bouncing off each other, it was nothing but a huge series of chance happenings that ended up building a castle in the sand. Everyone had been swept along into the castle and sooner or later, a wave had to flow in from the ocean, and wipe it all away. What would happen then?
“Let’s choose the bridesmaids now,” Jessica said as the waiter placed smoothies and sandwiches down before them.
Just looking at the food made Ashley lose her appetite. I’d rather have hot dogs and beer, she thought, be hanging out at Crystals, flirting with totally unavailable guys. It took off all the pressure, was like having a drink and forgetting the knitty, gritty details of life, like who to choose to be bridesmaids at your wedding.
“So exactly who do you have in mind for your bridesmaids?” asked Jessica, taking a huge bite of what looked like a totally, tasteless sandwich.
“Everyone,” said Ashley, “You Shane, Heather, Kate, Robyn, Ramona, -.”
“Hold on, hold on,” said Jessica. “You can’t have everyone! People usually have four, six is considered large, and eight is the max, totally huge! And there are important people you’re leaving out already! Like your sister, remember her? You absolutely have to include Trish.”
Ashley’s stomach fell. Thankfully her family didn’t know about any of this and if she had her way, they never would.
“And you have to include women who are important to the groom! Does he have a sister? She has to be included!”
“He’s an only child,” said Ashley relieved.
“Does he have a cousin or someone he grew up close to?”
“Not that I know of,” said Ashley.
“Well, do you plan to give him the courtesy of asking him about it? If you don’t, you’ll definitely get the marriage off on the wrong foot!”
Ashley swallowed hard. “I’m not leaving out any of my friends for someone on his side I don’t even know. It’s my wedding,” she said.
“What do you plan to do? Have ten bridesmaids?” Jessica seemed horrified.
“Or maybe more,” said Ashley, grinding her teeth.
“It’s out of the question,” said Jessica and she and Ashley sat glaring at each other. “I’m the Maid of Honor and it’s my job to see that decorum is maintained. You’re not going to have a free for all! That’s why you have a Maid of Honor, because when you’re getting ready to be married, you’re not thinking clearly, you need help!”
“Thanks,” said Ashley pushing her sandwich back down on the table.
“Wait a second,” Jessica was alarmed, “you can’t leave now. We haven’t chosen the bridesmaids yet! Pick a number! A big number!”
“Eight,” said Ashley.
“Six,” Jessica countered. “It’s so much more workable, believe me.”
“Seven,” Ashley gave in.
“No, seven’s a weird number, uneven. Either six or eight!”
Ashley looked up at the sky and saw two birds flying off together across the sky towards the horizon. They were totally oblivious of issues like this, just felt at home together and flew away. Was that a sign? Should she tell everyone she was eloping? The idea hit her suddenly and it felt wonderful. It could be a great way to get out of this entire mess.
“Okay, seven,” said Jessica then. “But you can only choose four friends at the most, Trish can be five and you’ve got to leave at least two spaces for someone from the groom’s side. And remember, he has to pick groomsmen to walk down the aisle with each of your bridesmaids. And he also has to include some important men on your side, too. For example, your brother Lance.”
“He’s only fourteen,” said Ashley, “and very skinny. No one’s going to want to walk down the aisle with him.”
“There’s no choice about it,” said Jessica. “It’s etiquette!”
“Well, Ray has to be a groomsman,” Ashley suddenly insisted, “I refuse to walk down the aisle without him there?”
“The yoga teacher you introduced me to?” Jessica was startled. “I never knew the two of you were so close.”
“Extremely close, I adore him,” said Ashley.
“You adore Ray and you’re marrying Gideon? How does Gideon feel about that?” Jessica seemed thrown off balance.
“Ray’s like a brother to me,” Ashley said softly.
“You think Gideon will go for that?” Jessica took a huge bite of her sandwich to settle down.
“Those things don’t matter to Gideon at all,” Ashley confided. “He’s not the least bit possessive.
“I never heard of a guy who isn’t possessive if he loves a woman,” Jessica whispered. “Winn can’t stand it when someone even looks at me.”
Ashley looked over at her friend who was so deeply involved, doing her best. Ashley had to make it easier for her.
“I’ll have You, Shane, Heather and Robyn for my bridesmaids, “Ashley announced.
“Are you sure you want to include Heather?” Jessica’s voice got softer.
“Sure, she found the wedding planner, didn’t she?” Ashley said, “How can we exclude her?
Jessica wiped her face with her hands. This was weighing heavily on her, and Ashley suddenly felt very badly about it.
“Okay, go talk to Gideon as fast as you can?” said Jessica, “find out who he wants as a bridesmaid. And find out who his groomsmen will be.”
“I’ll talk to him about it tonight,” said Ashley, in a little voice.
Jessica sighed a sigh of relief. “And while you’re at it, make sure you guys set the date. We can’t book the venue without it.”
As if light a shaft of light suddenly burst through a cloud, Ashley suddenly saw a way out!
“Gideon’s not able to set an exact date yet, Jess,” Ashley said brightly. “He’s busy, he travels, has so many plans, he can’t be absolutely definite when he’ll be able to get back for the wedding!”
Ashley watched the color drain from Jessica’s face.
“Wait
a minute, he can’t be definite about getting back for the wedding? It’s something he’s fitting in on the side? It isn’t important to him?”
“No, no, don’t get me wrong,” Ashley spoke hurriedly, “it’s very important, he’s thrilled about it, but he’s a busy man.”
“My God,” said Jessica flushed. “Who is this guy? What’s his problem?”
“He doesn’t have a problem,” said Ashley happily, “that’s what I love so much about him. Nothing is a problem to him, he travels, he loves, he comes, he goes!”
“Ashley,” Jessica’s voice grew loud, “we’re planning a Wedding! He can’t just leave it all to you! He has to commit to a date! Get him to do it tonight! Otherwise this could fizzle out like it has with all the other guys you’ve been dating! You’ve got to be strong! Take a stand!”
Both Jessica and Ashley were breathing hard now.
“I’ve tried to, believe me,” said Ashley.
“Try harder! Do it tonight! How can he expect you to plan a wedding and not give you an exact date?”
“Things work out for him, they just always work out,” Ashley said impetuously.
“But they don’t for you, Ashley. Remember that! You’ve got to hold this guy’s feet to the fire!”
Ashley was aghast. “Hold his feet to the fire? Is that the way to treat the man you love?”
*
When Ashley got home instead of calling Ray, she immediately went online, and scrolled through the dating sites she was on, to see who might be contacting her. Things were definitely in motion and it wasn’t going to be easy to stop the momentum. And, at this moment, she wasn’t even sure she wanted it to stop. It was fascinating planning a wedding, fun, life giving.
At this point, Ashley certainly felt what it was like to be a bride, but she hadn’t done the other part, focused on what it would be like to find the groom. It had been fun talking about Gideon. He was beginning to actually feel like someone in her life. The things she said about him surprised her. She should definitely put those qualities down on the list - someone who loved to travel, who was busy, who gave her great freedom, and was free himself. Gideon never pressured her about anything, and she didn’t pressure him. Not only that, she noticed she was protective of him, wouldn’t let anyone say anything negative or suggest that she be unkind or demanding in anyway. Now, that was a relationship she’d be happy with, Ashley thought and smiled.