by Londyn Skye
“They already know. I told ’em everything about Maya and Lily. Not a detail missed. So, do what you gotta do, Emily. Ruin me. Destroy me. Put me in jail. I don’t care anymore. Our sons are grown, established, intelligent men now. You don’t have the powa’ to hurt ’em anymore, or to hold ’em against me. Even if you tried, they’re old enough now to realize how truly evil their own motha’ is for maliciously tryna ruin their lives and have them shunned from the community with town gossip. So, go ahead,” he threatened calmly. “Hell, Dallas cried for days afta’ Lily was sold. Go ahead and tell ‘em the truth about the threats you made, and why he neva’ saw his favorite playmate again. In fact, tell ‘em why I sold all the children on this farm, for that matta’. Go ahead, if it truly makes you feel betta’ about yourself. I truly don’t give a damn anymore, not about anything you have to say, and certainly not about you.”
“What do you think you’re gonna do now, huh? Marry your whore?!”
“If I could, I would. That’s what a man does with the woman he loves.” Levi lowered his eyelids. “Or those we drunkenly impregnate.”
“The fact that you’d not only be willin’ to marry a slave … but a whore, is furtha’ proof that you are indeed the most idiotic man on this Earth!”
“Maya … Her name is Maya. Show some respect for the only propa’ motha’ your sons have eva’ known!”
Levi easily caught Emily by the wrist before her open hand connected with his face. He tossed it back down by her side and grimaced at her.
“I’ll make you suffa’ for every word you just said to me, you son of a bitch!” she threatened.
“I put my own child on an auction block and watched a stranga’ haul ’er outta my life, just to shut you up! You can skin me alive, and I promise I wouldn’t suffa’ nearly as much as I have since that day!”
“You’ll wish you were skinned alive if you file these damn papers! I will not be shamed by this community just because you want the freedom to fuck your whore in peace!”
“We don’t belong togetha’, Emily!” Levi erupted. “You’re not happy! I’m not happy! There’s no need to force ourselves to needlessly suffa’ in each otha’s presence anymore! Let’s just appreciate the lives we’ve created and go our separate ways amicably!”
Emily lit the burner on the stove and tossed the divorce papers into the flames. Levi never moved. He watched them burn, much like he wished he could do when Emily’s soul suffered the same eternal fate. He never expected her to sign the papers anyway. But, in his mind, the papers burning to ash seemed a perfect metaphor for the finality of his marriage.
After the papers completely incinerated, Levi looked into the eyes of the woman he now considered his ex-wife. “I at least had to try to end things peacefully. I figured I needed to expect nothin’ less than a fight, though.” Levi then tossed a set of keys on the counter.
“What’re these for?!”
“I bought you a small cottage in close proximity to where all the boys live. You have thirty days to collect your belongin’s and leave here, or I’ll have you evicted.”
“What?!” Emily snapped. “You can’t force me to leave here!”
“I can and I will. My parents put my name on this property when they made the down payment, so you don’t technically own any ‘a this. Take me to court if you want. I’ll be sure to tell ’em how you nearly had this place repossessed by the bank. I don’t care how hard I have to fight you. I want you gone!”
“I’ve built my entire life here! Now you expect me to just start all ova’ somewhere else?!”
“You demanded that my nine-year-old do it! You certainly didn’t see the harm in that back then, so I damn sure don’t wanna hear your pitiful excuses now!”
“Don’t act like you’re so damn righteous! It was your two hands that threw your mulatto bastard away, like the worthless garbage she is!”
“Watch your goddamn mouth!” Levi erupted, his face fire-red.
“No! You watch yours! Don’t make me out to be the villain and pretend like you care about your bastard all of a sudden! Your actions spoke volumes about how meaningless she was to you! Your feelings don’t matta’ anyway! As a worthless piece ‘a property that little mongrel had no right to decide her fate! But I have every right to be here! And I refuse to leave!”
“And I refuse to spend the rest ‘a my life in utta’ misery! And, for the life ‘a me, I can’t unda’stand why you wanna fight so hard to keep livin’ this way! You don’t love me! Hell, you don’t even like me! You should be rejoicin’ ova’ the chance to find someone who makes you happy!”
“Don’t you dare tell me what I should be rejoicin’ ova’!”
“Forgive me! I forgot I’m dealin’ with someone who hates their life so much that they rejoice in makin’ otha’s hate their own! You may not want betta’ for yourself, but I do! I deserve betta’ than this! In fact, I demand betta’! So whetha’ we officially divorce or not … it’s ova’! I’ve served my sentence for my sins and then some!”
Emily stepped toward Levi and put a finger in his face. “You betta’ find yourself a damn good attorney, because I’m not leavin’ this house without a fight!”
“So be it.” Levi shook his head and exhaled. “Have your attorney contact mine. And don’t utta’ anotha’ word to me in the meantime. We’re done. Permanently,” he said, calmly stepping past her toward the door.
“You ain’t fuckin’ that whore in this house!” Emily screamed, sounding like a whiny child in desperate need of attention. Even after feeling her new house keys pelt him hard in the back, Levi didn’t break stride. “You’ll burn in Hell for this!” she shouted, frustrated by his lack of reaction.
With his hand on the doorknob, Levi turned to look at Emily one last time. “Afta’ thirty-two years chained to you, Hell sounds like a glorious vacation.”
After the failed meeting with his sons and finalizing the end of his failed marriage, Levi walked around to his front porch and watched Maya in the distance. His heart sank as he accepted that he had even failed at his mission to reunite Maya with her beloved daughter. Maya was taking clothes down from the clothesline, a task that her and Lily always used to do together. The fact that Lily was not there helping her now made watching the simple task feel like torture. Levi lowered his head and closed his eyes. His thoughts then began to take over the torture instead. In rapid succession, the painful words of Emily, Jesse, and his sons began to viciously pelt his mind: It was your two hands that threw your mulatto bastard away! Your actions spoke volumes about how meaningless she was to you! You’re beggin’ us to do your dirty work, so you feel betta’ about the fact that you threw away your little mistake. I hung that skinny piece ‘a shit from a tree a few weeks afta’ I bought ‘er. I tossed what was left of ‘er body in the woods afta’ the buzzards got their fill. I hope Lily’s masta’ did kill her! For the abominable sins you committed, you deserve to live with the agony of bein’ the root cause of your bastard’s death! The violent mental assault of everyone’s words easily fractured Levi’s fragile mind. It was your two hands! It was your two hands! It was your two hands, he suddenly heard echoing in his head in a distorted mocking manner. He lifted his trembling hands and looked down at them. Tears suddenly gushed from his eyes as he stared at the two reasons that his daughter may have taken her last breath, dangling from the end of a tree branch. The mental vision of buzzards feasting on Lily’s body had Levi fighting to catch his own breath. He shook his head to cease the gruesome images from torturously playing in his mind. He fought to fill his lungs, wiped his eyes, and forced himself to reject the idea that Lily was deceased. There was no way he would be able to breathe normally otherwise.
Once Levi caught his breath, he looked up and saw Maya walk into the barn. He desperately wanted to speak with her, but something she told him fourteen years ago suddenly rang out loudly in his mind. A week after selling Lily, he had approached Maya again, hoping to explain himself, but she quickly cut him off and sliced him with h
er razor-sharp tongue: Unfortunately, you own me! Legally, I’m obligated to do whateva’ the hell you demand me to! But outside of any menial tasks you command me to do, don’t you eva’ utta’ anotha’ goddamn word to me, you demonic piece ‘a shit!
Before that day, Levi had never once heard Maya use such foul language. It was as if her mouth was incapable of forming such words until his egregious actions shattered her linguistic dam, allowing her to flood his ears with profanity-laced language. Even all these years later, the mere memory of her vile words stung like toxic venom and had Levi hesitant to speak to her. But, today, he was desperate to bare his soul, no matter what he had to endure. He, therefore, exhaled and forced himself to step off the porch. In time with his foot hitting the ground, a rumble of thunder rippled through the sky. The sky suddenly darkened, and it immediately began to sprinkle. Levi paused and tilted his head back, thankful that the light mist of rain would help disguise his tears. The rain on his face reminded him of yet another reason for his fourteen-year countdown. He had looked forward to a storm like this, one whose aftermath left the opportunity for a spectrum of colors to stretch across the sky and induce a brilliant smile on Maya’s face. But the thunder now only reminded him of his failures and caused a storm of sorrowful emotion to rumble throughout his body.
With a hint of tears still stinging his eyes, Levi entered the barn and stood before Maya. Even now, her beauty still had the ability to stun him into a silent awestruck gaze. Years ago, Maya was once warmed by that look, but her reaction to him now proved otherwise. She lowered her head and briskly moved to exit the barn, just as Levi’s presence had triggered her to do for over a decade. Levi knew he had no grounds to reprimand her for her coldness over the years. Usually, he would just let her walk away, knowing he deserved the intense pain in his heart that her actions always caused. But this time, he could not bear to accept either of those things silently. “Maya wait. Please don’t leave,” he begged.
The emotion in his voice was not enough to cause Maya to break stride. Even over a decade later, she still could not bring herself to be near him.
“Please … it’s about Lily,” Levi added, hoping the topic would change her mind.
That name indeed stopped Maya in her tracks. Now fearing that the emotion in his voice had something to do with bad news, she immediately turned around. “Wh-what about her?” she asked hesitantly.
Levi was momentarily caught off guard. It was the first time Maya had looked him in the eyes in years. He shook himself from his trance before proceeding. “I-I’m gonna bring ’er back to you.”
Maya scoffed. “Lily would have to be standin’ beside you in the flesh before I believe a damn thing you say.”
“And I certainly can’t blame you for that. But I just wanted you to know that I’ve already started lookin’ for her. It was my goal to have ’er back to you by now, but I’m havin’ trouble findin’ her. But I won’t stop lookin’. Just as soon as I find ’er, I’m gonna bring ’er back home to you … I swear.”
“Just like you swore you’d neva’ hurt her?!” Years of pent up rage began to boil again within Maya. “You swore you’d neva’ hurt her, Levi! You looked me in my eyes the day she was born, and you swore! But you callously tore my daughta’ outta my arms, despite how much I begged and pleaded with you to honor your promise! So, I’ll be damned if I eva’ believe anything that comes outta your mouth eva’ again!”
Levi swallowed hard. “Y-you’re right. I know I’ve completely destroyed your trust and faith in me. I know I don’t deserve to be believed at all. You’re absolutely right,” he reiterated, sheepishly accepting that painful truth. “So, I’ll prove it with my actions. I’ll stop at nothin’ to bring our daughta’ back home.”
“Why?” Maya scoffed. “You done finally used up all the time Lily bought you?”
Levi looked confused. “Wh-what do you mean?”
“Time. You said you needed to sell Lily to buy some time. Lucky you. I notice she bought you just enough time to love and raise your boys into adulthood in peace … even bought you peace with your wife. How truly fortunate you are,” she said with sarcastic bitterness in her tone.
Levi shamefully lowered his head.
“Do you have any money left from that auction to buy me back a day or two of the time you stole from me and Lily? An hour maybe? I’ll even take a minute … just one minute to experience a special moment with my only daughta’. A minute from a moment she was excited to learn somethin’ new or excited about ’er first love. A minute to be there the day she blossomed into a woman. A minute to lay down with her unda’ the night sky and hear the name she’s chosen for a new star we find togetha’,” Maya calmly expressed, tears coasting down her cheeks. “Any money left to buy me back a minute or two to experience a special moment like that with Lily, huh? Maybe a second? Do you have any spare change rollin’ around in your pockets? Or are you just as broke as I am?”
The steady stream of tears trickling down Levi’s shamefully lowered head was his only response.
“Answa’ me damn it!” Maya demanded, fire returning in her tone. “You took years away from me and Lily! Are you gonna buy me back that damn time?!”
“Of course I can’t, but…”
“Then it doesn’t matta’ now, Levi!” Maya interrupted. “I probably wouldn’t even recognize my own daughta’ if she was standin’ right in front ‘a me! I probably ain’t nothin’ but a faded memory in Lily’s mind by now! And I damn sho’ hope she’s forgotten everything about you! Lord knows, I wish I could wipe you clean outta my memory too!”
“I know I deserve that, but I wanna do all I can to make this right.”
“Make this right?!” Maya squinted her eyes at Levi. “The fact that you think you could eva’ do anything to make this right makes me wanna vomit! You ruined the chance to do that the very second you put my daughta’ on a goddamn auction block, turned your back on ’er, and walked away! Every day, you’ve had the luxury of huggin’ your sons, talkin to ’em, laughin’ with ’em, and tellin’ ’em you loved ’em wheneva’ you damn well pleased! All I’ve had was Lily’s ragdolls and ’er blanket to ball up and cry in every day! And now, afta’ all these years, you think there’s s’pposed to be some goddamn way to make all that right?!” she mocked. “As if your sudden grand gesture is gonna magically erase years and years of pain and sufferin’! How dare you insult me like that!”
The moment Maya began to sting him with her venomous words, Levi began to fall apart emotionally. “I-I know what I did was damn near worse than murda’, Maya. And trust me, I’ve neva’ been more sorry for anything in my whole life. It’s just that the things that Emily was threatenin’ to do to my boys, I just…” He paused when words began to twist in his muddled mind and spill out of his mouth in a jumbled mess. He shook his head, knowing nothing he said would ever be an acceptable defense for his logic. “I-I just didn’t know what else to do,” he said, his voice trailing off.
“Maybe stand up to your wife for once in your goddamn life!” Maya fired back, immediately incensed by the audacity of his proclamation. “Grow a backbone and stop bein’ such a weak excuse for a man! There’s a few options, you cowardly son of a bitch! If you truly gave a damn about Lily, you would’ve figured out anotha’ way to fight back against whateva’ the hell was goin’ on between you and your wife! I believe you tossed Lily to the wolves to save your own ass … not your sons’! Lily was just a chosen casualty in the war you had no backbone to fight against your wife!”
“It wasn’t about me, Maya. I swear! I had six little boys whose lives would ‘a been ruined if…”
“If you didn’t get rid ‘a your illegitimate mulatto mistake!” Maya finished.
“Lily’s not a mistake! She’s the most precious gift I’ve eva’ been given!”
“Right! You certainly proved that when you sold your precious gift to the highest bidda’,” Maya replied with bitter sarcasm. She looked at Levi one last time with disgust and turned to walk away.<
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Feeling cut to pieces by her words, Levi dropped down on bended knee. He took Maya by the hand before she could leave. “Please, don’t walk away. I’m beggin’ you, Maya … please?” he pleaded, looking up at her with tears running in streams down his face.
The sorrowful sight sent a ripple of emotion through Maya that made it impossible to abandon him.
“A-All these y-years, there’s always b-been so much I’ve w-wanted to say to you. Whetha’ you believe me or n-not, I beg you to just h-hear me out … p-please,” Levi choked out.
Maya nodded, but slowly removed her hand from his.
Levi was so overwhelmed with emotion, he had to exhale sharply and swallow hard before he could form words normally again. “I have worshiped you, Maya,” he stated boldly, still tearfully gazing at her in a way that confirmed his confession. “I know I’ve done nothin’ ova’ the years but prove that I’m unworthy of you. But despite my actions, I’ve worshiped you like the Goddess that you are. I always will. You were always so kind and carin’ to me and my boys. You gave my boys the motherly attention and tenderness that they desperately needed. You may have neva’ said it, but you always made me feel so loved. Lord knows, I desperately needed that too. And despite the little you had, you went above and beyond to give our daughta’ the most magnificent upbringin’. And how do I show appreciation and gratitude for all your compassion ova’ the years?” He swallowed back tears of humiliation. “I snatched away your happiness and destroyed your whole world. It’s eaten my soul alive to know I savagely shattered the heart of the woman I worship…” He took hold of Maya’s hand again. “The only woman I’ve eva’ loved.”
Maya wiped an escaping tear. To Levi’s surprise, she left her other hand in his this time.
“I’ve loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you, and I’ve loved Lily from the very moment I learned you were carryin’ her,” Levi continued. “I know my words are such a contradiction to my actions. But kneelin’ here before you, I swear that’s the God’s honest truth.” He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to the back of Maya’s hand. His sorrowful tears moistened her skin as he let his kiss linger there for a moment. He pulled his lips away and looked into Maya’s eyes again to find them now flooded with tears too.