by A. E. Radley
“No. Why would I?”
“Because she’s your wife.”
“Ex-wife.”
“Not yet.”
The rest of the conversation faded out as Kate repeated the word “ex-wife” over and over in her head. Selina was interested in women.
Kate felt her heart lift.
Kate’s own sexuality had been the reason her life had been torn to shreds. Knowing that someone like Selina was successful and out of the closet was life-affirming for her.
Logically, she knew there were plenty of people who were open about their sexuality and living happy, prosperous lives, but she’d yet to meet one. By the time Kate had come to realise she preferred women, it was far too late for her. Memories of the past shouldered past the walls she had built in her mind, walls she’d constructed to stop herself reliving the painful events that led to a life on the streets.
“Kate?”
She blinked and looked up to see Abigail looking down at her. It looked like she had been saying her name a few times.
“Sorry, I was miles away,” Kate apologised.
Abigail laughed. “No problem, I was just asking if you wanted a cuppa?”
“No, I’m fine, thank you.”
Peter stumbled over to Kate and fell into her lap. “Read to me?”
Kate laughed. “See? No time for tea, I have to read to this young gentleman.”
Abigail mussed Peter’s hair and smiled fondly at him. “Okay, give me a call if you need anything.”
Kate picked him up and stood. She wondered if the toddler had any idea how lucky he was to be in such an accepting family. Abigail clearly loved her sister, even if Selina seemed to be hard work most of the time. She pushed aside her own feelings of inadequacy and abandonment and held the boy a little tighter.
“Let’s go and find a book, shall we?” she asked him. “Coming, Phillip?”
Phillip abandoned the jigsaw quickly and raced after them as she carried Peter towards the nursery.
It was an hour later when Kate heard someone climbing the stairs. She’d been playing with the kids and engaging Phillip in his usual bonkers conversations, but her mind had been distracted.
Selina was gay. And lived a good life. Okay, so she was a bitch and had no idea how to treat people and certainly could not be considered a role model. But she was gay, out, and she wasn’t treated any differently as far as Kate could tell.
She noticed someone in the doorway to the nursery and assumed it was Abigail.
“I’ll put Peter down for his nap in a while,” Kate said.
“That’s the small one?”
She snapped her head around. Selina was in the doorway, looking at the boys with a frown. She looked a little tired, like sleep hadn’t come easily recently, but she still looked gorgeous in her skirt suit, heels, and swept-back hair. She looked competent and ready to deal with anything. Kate wondered if the tiredness was simply something she allowed herself to show now that she was out of the office.
Was this Selina with her guard slightly down? Did Selina ever really let her guard down?
“Yes. Peter and Phillip, as you well know.” Kate pointed to each boy individually as she said their names. She wanted Selina to know who was who but not let the boys know that their aunt had no idea. “Your aunt Selina does like to joke around, doesn’t she, boys? She’ll be calling me Kimberly soon.”
Phillip smiled, instantly accepting that it was all a joke. Peter carried on sleepily stacking building blocks.
“Of course, I’m known for my jokes.” Selina stepped a hesitant foot into the room. “Abi is on the phone to her putrid…” She paused and looked at the boys for the moment as if realising that she was about to put her foot in it. “I thought I’d leave her in private while she takes the call.”
“You’re always welcome here,” Kate said.
Selina stepped forward again. It was as if she were edging closer to wildcats in a zoo enclosure. “So, boys, how is school?” she asked.
“Phillip starts school next year,” Kate explained. She didn’t mention that Peter was three years away from being school age, though she suspected that Selina had no idea of that fact.
There was no doubt in her mind that Selina could deal with any work-related issue. She was intelligent and driven. But when it came to children, family, and even personal matters, Selina seemed clueless.
In some ways, it was adorable. Seeing the powerful businesswoman struggle to put an age on a child was entertaining.
“Oh. Well. How do they fill their days?”
Phillip stood up and rushed past Selina, on the way to his bedroom. Peter noticed he was alone with the strange new woman and quickly followed him out of the room.
Selina let out a sigh. She looked at Kate. “They hate me.”
“Well, they don’t know you.” Kate started to tidy the nursery. “And you make no effort to know them, I suspect.”
“No, I don’t,” she admitted. “I don’t know how to talk to children.”
“You’re not great with adults either,” Kate pointed out.
“This is true.” Selina picked up a book from the floor and looked it over.
“Do you really want some kind of a relationship with them? Or is this to fill two minutes while your sister is on the phone?” Kate asked.
Selina looked at the back of the book, seemingly contemplating the question. After a few moments she looked up. “I’d like some kind of connection. I don’t want them staying at my house and getting their grubby hands everywhere.” She shuddered. “But something… yes. It would make Abi happy.”
“Then do what you did with your assistant, show some interest.”
“I don’t feel like we have the same conversational points. I doubt either of them have tried the new Italian in town.” Selina put the book on a shelf. “What does one say to children? ‘Nice weather we’re having? Going on any holidays this year?’”
Kate put her hands on her hips and stared at Selina.
“What?” Selina asked.
“Look around you.” Kate gestured around the room.
Selina followed her hand. “It’s a nursery.”
“They spend all of their time in here. This is their interests in one room.” Kate pointed to the bookshelf. “They like reading. And jigsaw puzzles. Peter likes cuddly teddy bears, and Phillip likes toy cars. Everything you need to know about them is right here. They aren’t secretive or difficult to figure out, you just need to look.”
Selina frowned and looked at the shelves. She started to walk around the room, slowly examining everything her eyes came across, as if seeing things for the first time.
Kate watched her. She couldn’t quite understand Selina. She couldn’t tell her nephews apart, but there seemed to be a sadness within her as well. As if she wanted to connect but didn’t know how. It made her realise how little she understood the woman in front of her.
“Will you tell Abigail about me?” Kate blurted out.
Selina didn’t even pause her examination of the shelves. “Tell her what?”
“About me… being homeless,” Kate whispered.
Selina stopped and turned to face her. “I hadn’t intended to. Do you want me to?”
“I… I’d rather you didn’t.”
Selina shrugged and turned back to exploring the toys. “Then I won’t.”
“Thank you. It’s just… I’m not keeping it a secret. Well, I am. But only because—”
“Because you fear the judgement,” Selina surmised. “I understand. I have no intention of telling Abi. She hired you based on a three-minute conversation in a coffee shop. It’s not up to me to do due diligence for her.”
The dig at her sister was obvious, but Kate couldn’t help but be relieved that Selina seemed willing to keep her secret. She knew she’d have to tell Abigail soon, but at least this way she could pick the right moment.
“However, I do have a question.” Selina turned to look at Kate again.
“Sure?”
<
br /> “Julian told me that you had been homeless for almost a year?”
Kate nodded, although she was surprised that Selina had talked to Julian about her. She wondered why, curious as to how that topic of conversation had come up. And, more importantly, who had brought it up.
“And yet, you only recently started spending your days in the car park behind my office.”
“Oh, yes, I moved there. It was safer, you know?”
Selina shook her head. Inquisitive eyes bored into her. “No, I don’t know.”
Kate took a deep breath. This wasn’t something she wanted to be talking about, especially not with Abigail or the kids potentially lurking around any corner.
“I’d been in a few different places,” Kate admitted. “Sometimes there’s safety in numbers, so people hang out in the same area. Sometimes, that’s not such a good idea, and it’s better to be alone.”
Selina’s expression didn’t change. She looked genuinely interested, but not pitying. She looked like she was going to ask a follow-up question but stopped herself. She tilted her head towards the door, hearing something.
“Abi’s off the phone. We’ll park this conversation for now, but rest assured that I won’t be saying anything of your previous circumstances.” Selina walked towards the door, then paused. “And thank you, for the advice regarding the children.”
Kate didn’t get a chance to say anything. Selina glided into the hallway and back downstairs to her conversation with her sister.
Seeking Advice
Gemma entered Selina’s office and placed the morning post on her desk.
“Good morning, how are you today?” she asked.
Selina looked up from her laptop screen. The truth was that she was tired and stressed, but that was most days lately. In fact, for as long as she could really remember, that had been the case. Having the weight of the company’s internal operations on her shoulders was exhausting. Not that she could complain as she had spent years wrestling responsibility from other people in order to ensure tasks were done properly.
She swept her own feelings to one side. She had goals to meet, and that was the most important thing. Rest would come. Once she was on the thirteenth floor, she’d assist in recruiting her replacement. That poor soul would then get her workload dumped on them, and Selina would spend her days in board meetings or having networking lunches with the City bigwigs.
It would all be worth it in the end.
“Good,” she finally answered. “And you?”
Gemma grimaced a little. Selina knew without asking that the young woman was still struggling to sleep through the night, owing to her athletic unborn child’s regular dance recitals.
She didn’t know how Gemma managed pregnancy. Selina was certain that she would only be able to survive on so little sleep with an enormous amount of coffee to get her through the day, and that option wasn’t open to expectant mothers like Gemma. Nor was demolishing a decent bottle of red before bed to ensure a good night’s sleep.
And, after all of that hassle, she and her husband would be saddled with a screaming baby for years. Then a grumpy teenager. Then a miserable adult. Forever.
“My sister used to sprinkle lavender mist on her pillow,” Selina suggested. She only knew Abi did so because they’d met for lunch one day and she realised her sister smelt like their grandmother had done.
“Oh, I heard something about that,” Gemma said. “I’ll give it a try, thanks! Can I get you anything?”
Selina shook her head. “No, I’m doing a deep dive into these figures. So, no interruptions, if possible.”
“Absolutely.” Gemma turned and left the office, closing the door on her way out.
Selina turned her attention back to her laptop. Just as she started to focus again, her mobile beeped with a text message.
She’d meant to turn it to silent but had forgotten. She sighed, knowing she’d never be able to focus now that she knew there was an unread text.
She grabbed her phone and glanced at the note. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. She read the message twice, enjoying its contents.
Hey sis, just wanted to say thank you for sending the box of presents for the boys. They really loved it! You’re the talk of the town in our house this morning x Come over sometime, they’d love to see you. Abi x
A breath she didn’t even know she was holding escaped her lips. She’d thought for a while about whether or not to reach out to the children in some way. She wanted to be something to them. What, she wasn’t entirely sure. She didn’t fit into family life in a neat and tidy way.
A picture of Kate gesturing to items in the boy’s nursery had entered her mind. She knew that she’d never have put the pieces together without Kate’s guidance.
Her eyes drifted up and looked at Gemma on the other side of the glass wall. Kate had helped her there, too. Showing a little kindness to Gemma had changed her working environment beyond recognition. And the more she showed an interest in Gemma and her impending doom—er, motherhood—the more helpful Gemma became.
A sharp knock on the door followed by a gust of wind as it flew open shocked her from her thoughts.
Jeremy Lovejoy stood in the doorway. His trench coat was slung over his arm, his briefcase gripped tightly in his hand. He was practically scowling.
“Not now, I’m extremely busy.” Selina lowered her phone and returned her attention to her laptop.
“Selina, we have to talk about the divorce,” Jeremy said. He invited himself into the office, closing the door and taking a seat in front of her.
“I’m sure I hired you to deal with it.” She refused to look up.
“And I’d love to. But you don’t answer calls. Or emails. Or letters. I’d try a carrier pigeon, but I’m not sure that would have much luck either.”
She slammed her laptop closed. “Remind me, are your bills up to date?”
“Yes.”
“Fully paid? On time?”
“Yes.” He rolled his eyes.
“So, I’m paying you. I don’t see what the issue is.” She leaned back and pinned him with her harshest glare.
“The problem is that you won’t let me do the job you are paying me to do. You want this divorce, correct?”
“Of course I do,” she scoffed.
“Then we have to work together. You have to communicate with me. And, I’m sad to say, you have to communicate with your wife.”
“Ex-wife.”
“Wife,” Jeremy ground out. “She is your wife and will remain your wife until you start the negotiation process.”
Selina lifted the laptop lid. “I’m too busy to discuss this now.”
Jeremy leaned forward and pushed the laptop closed. “Things need to be discussed. I can’t do what you’re asking me. I can’t just grant you a divorce without your input. As painful as this is, things need to be agreed upon. Conversations must be had.”
Selina glared at the offending hand that had slammed the lid of the computer, narrowly missing her fingers. “Jeremy, I—”
He stood up. “I’m giving you one week. If you haven’t replied to my email from this morning by then, I’m going to have to drop you as a client and advise you find other representation.”
“But—”
“One week.” He left the office before she could say another word.
She stared at the doorway in shock. Jeremy Lovejoy had been her solicitor for years. His firm had worked with her father long before. He was a man she could rely on, and now he was issuing threats.
Gemma appeared in the doorway looking contrite. “I’m sorry, he just stormed in.”
“It’s fine.” She opened her laptop again and stared at the screen, determined to look unaffected by Jeremy’s behaviour. She didn’t know if she fooled Gemma or not, but it was all she could do. Her thoughts whirred, and she couldn’t focus. One thing she knew for certain: she was not about to have a meltdown in her office. That couldn’t happen.
Glass-partitioned offices had
their uses. However, Selina often felt like she was on display in a cabinet for all to see. Ordinarily that wasn’t a problem, but right now she felt as though the whole office was sneaking glances at her.
She slammed the laptop closed.
“On second thought, Gemma, I’m going to work from home today. There are just too many distractions here, and I need to fully focus on this. Forward all calls to my mobile. And move my meetings.” Selina was already on her feet and packing her belongings into her bag.
Gemma wisely did as she was asked without comment.
Selina was fuming. Angry at Jeremy. Angry at her ex. Angry at the world. And she didn’t know what to do about it.
Some Advice
The doorbell rang, and Kate let out a sigh. It was her day off. Abigail was out with the boys, allowing Kate some much needed quiet time. She loved the kids, but they were very noisy. Even after they had left the house, she felt as if her ears continued to ring for a while.
Once Abigail had left, Kate had enjoyed a long, hot shower. Afterwards, she’d put on some comfortable clothes and made herself some coffee from the luxurious machine in the kitchen.
She’d only taken one sip when the doorbell sounded. She briefly considered leaving it, considering her wet hair and torn joggers and T-shirt. But it might have been important, so she walked into the hallway and peeked through the peephole in the front door.
Selina stood on the other side. She wore a smart trouser suit, looking like she’d come straight from her office. She also looked anxious, shifting from one foot to another.
Kate opened the door. “Um, hi. Abigail is out with the boys.”
Selina rolled her eyes and started to turn around to leave.
“Can I help?” The question left her lips before she’d properly considered it. Of course she couldn’t help. Selina had obviously come to visit her sister, not her, but seeing her so on edge made Kate want to reach out.
Selina stopped, still facing away from her. Kate noticed her slumped shoulders.
“I’ve finally figured out the coffee machine. It’s nearly as good as the one at Edge,” she offered.