by A. E. Radley
Selina turned around and regarded her for a few moments.
Kate suddenly felt small, standing in the doorway of a grand house where she was essentially nothing more than the help. Wearing old, torn clothes, her wet hair hanging messily on her shoulders.
Selina was her opposite in every single way. Meticulously put together, sporting a designer suit, not a hair out of place, immaculate makeup.
“I’d like that,” she finally said, surprising Kate.
“Oh, right, great.” Kate stood to one side and gestured for Selina to enter the house.
“What can I get you? Black coffee? Latte?” Kate asked once they were both in the kitchen.
“A latte sounds appealing,” Selina said. She placed her bag on the floor and sat on one of the stools at the kitchen island.
“Coming right up.” Kate quickly set about making the drink, adding a little kick because she knew Selina was a coffee snob and enjoyed a strong beverage. “Sorry you missed Abigail.”
“It’s fine. I’m not really sure why I’m here. I doubt she could have been much use.”
“Is there anything I can help with?” Kate asked again hesitantly.
Selina gave a light laugh. “Only if you can grant me an immediate divorce from my ex-wife without my having to speak with her. Apparently, it’s completely impossible for the legal system to do its job. I either have to sit down and mediate with her, or I have to go to court. And, apparently, I wouldn’t do well in court.”
Kate marvelled at how easy it was for Selina to step out of the closet. She spoke about her wife, ex-wife, as if it were nothing out of the ordinary. Kate wished that she had lived a life where that was true for her. She would give anything to be so casually out and not have to worry about what that meant, what people might think about it.
She turned. “Why don’t you want to speak to her?”
Selina blinked. “Because she… she left. She just walked out. Completely out of the blue. And now I’m expected to split my assets with her. Pay her… danger money for having to live with me.”
“What does she want, if I may ask?”
“I don’t know,” Selina said flippantly. “Everything, probably.”
“But you don’t know?”
“Not a clue. As I say, I don’t want to speak with her.”
Kate leaned back against the work surface. “So, there’s a possibility that she doesn’t want anything?”
“Unlikely,” Selina scoffed.
“But you don’t know. You have no idea what she wants or doesn’t want?”
Selina sat up straight and looked at the clock on the wall. “When will my sister be back?”
Kate shook her head and chuckled. “She’ll tell you the same thing.”
“I’m the injured party here,” Selina argued. “Why should I do something I categorically don’t want to do? Why should I have to sit in a room with her?”
“Because life is unfair, and sometimes we have to do stuff we don’t want to do.” Kate turned and finished up making the latte. She placed it in front of Selina. “How long have your divorce proceedings been going on?”
Selina pulled the cup and saucer towards her. Her face scrunched into a contemplative look. “A year?” she guessed.
Kate blinked. “A year?”
“Give or take.”
“A year, twelve months?” Kate clarified.
“Things move slowly in the legal world. It can be a month between letters,” Selina defended.
“And you’ve not spoken to her in all that time?”
“No.”
“Don’t you just… want it to be over?” Kate asked. She couldn’t imagine having that hanging over her for so long. Constantly having to deal with solicitors. Still being married, unable to move on with her life.
“Well, yes,” Selina agreed. “But at what cost?”
“May I ask how long you were married?”
“Three years.”
That surprised Kate. Selina was older, Kate wasn’t quite sure of her exact age. It was difficult to pinpoint as Selina took very good care of herself. For some reason Kate had assumed this had been a marriage of many years. Kate was considerably younger than Selina, and her own marriage had lasted much longer.
She shuddered at the memory.
“Three years? She can’t expect to get that much out of a settlement for such a short marriage,” Kate mused. “You’ve probably spent more in solicitor fees over the last year than what she is asking for. Which might be nothing.”
Selina sipped the latte. “I suppose you think I should talk to her? Presumably I should fake interest in her, as you suggested I do with Gemma.”
“Well, that worked. And the boys loved the presents you sent. They keep asking when you’ll be coming to visit next,” Kate replied.
Selina’s eyes brightened a little at that.
Kate smiled. It was nice to see a bridge forming between aunt and nephews. Selina had to be the one to make the effort, and she’d done so brilliantly, much to Kate’s surprise. It had paid off, and Selina was rightly pleased with herself.
“Which you should do, by the way,” Kate continued the thought. “You can buy children’s love, but it’s a limited time offer and requires a little upkeep.”
“I’ll arrange something with Abi,” Selina said through a hard-done-by sigh which Kate didn’t quite believe. She sipped her latte again, looking at Kate over the rim of the cup. “Do you?”
“Do I what?” Kate asked, confused by the topic change.
“Do you think I should talk to her?”
Kate hadn’t expected Selina to ask her for advice. It felt like something reserved for family input only. But this wasn’t the first time that Selina had sought Kate’s advice, nor the first time she had followed it with successful results.
Now the pressure was on. Of course, she thought Selina should speak with her ex, but Selina was obviously very against the idea.
“I think, if you want this to be over sooner and to move on with your life, it would be less heartache for you to get it over and done with,” she said diplomatically. “I know you don’t want to talk to her, but in the interest of getting it done and moving on… you might have to.”
Selina silently nodded before taking another sip of her drink. It reminded Kate that she had been drinking her own coffee. She snatched up the mug from the counter and took a few big gulps.
A couple of minutes went by before Selina spoke again. “You’re enjoying your role here?”
Kate was again taken aback by the change in topic but quickly caught up. It seemed to be a trait of Selina’s to flip from topic to topic as it suited her. Kate wondered if that was a habit of someone who rarely engaged in casual conversation.
“Yes, I love it. The boys are great, so is Abigail.” She licked her suddenly dry lips. “I’ve still not found the opportunity to tell her about… you know.”
“Your previous situation?” Selina guessed.
“Exactly. I mean, I will. I just… It was never the right time. And now I feel like too much time has passed. I don’t wish to be dishonest. But—”
Selina waved her hand casually. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I’m sure if you had planned to rob my sister, then you would have done so by now. Besides, as I said before, it’s nothing to do with me.”
Kate wanted to argue, wanted to point out that it did have something to do with Selina as Abigail was her family, but she decided that it was in her best interests not to stress the point too much. She still felt guilty for not telling Abigail the truth. The fact was, there hadn’t been much time. Abigail was always busy, or the boys needed her attention.
Not to mention the little voice at the back of Kate’s head that constantly reminded her that one false move could have her kicked out.
“Are Abi and Michael treating you well?” Selina asked.
Kate nodded quickly. “Abi is lovely. So is Michael, I just don’t see him very often. He is always away with business.”
>
Selina snorted a laugh. “Yes, he is very busy with business.”
Kate didn’t know what Selina meant by that. Didn’t want to know.
“So, you’re happy here?” Selina continued.
“I am. It wasn’t where I saw myself, but then nothing has been what I imagined for the last few years.” Kate held the mug of lukewarm coffee tightly.
Selina eyed her grip. “I can’t imagine,” she admitted. “I don’t think I’d last very long on the streets. Certainly not for a whole year. Although I can’t imagine why you were homeless for so long. I pay taxes, I see council homes going to vulnerable families. Why were you left on the streets to fend for yourself for such a long time?”
Kate’s heart felt warm with the anger in Selina’s tone. Her soft rage was pointed at those who hadn’t supported Kate in her time of need. It felt good to know someone was on her side.
“I wasn’t prioritised,” Kate explained. “I had access to a shelter. I didn’t have any children. I wasn’t on drugs, no health issues. All those people go to the top of the list.”
“For a whole year?” Selina was incredulous.
“There’s a lot of homeless people. Not enough emergency housing to go around.” Kate drank the last of her coffee. “And every time they cleared the most at risk and put them in housing, more arrived on that list. I never really progressed up the ladder. But I had the shelter most of the time.”
“Tell me about this shelter.” It was an instruction more than a request. Some might have considered it rude, but Kate knew it was just Selina’s way. Professional, no nonsense.
“It’s a woman-only shelter,” Kate recited. She’d had to explain her situation more than once and practically had a script these days. “Four beds. Opens at nine in the evening, closes at six in the morning. First come, first served. I managed to get in there most nights. They have some hot food, a decent bed, and access to showers.”
“Did you ever not get in?” Selina asked, getting straight to the point.
“A couple of times,” Kate confessed. “Didn’t get there in time, or the shelter couldn’t open because there weren’t enough volunteers.”
“And then?” Selina pressed at the on-going silence.
“Then I’d sleep by the bus station, or by the bridge on the abandoned railway line. It depended who was around.” Kate quickly turned away from Selina and washed her mug. She didn’t want to think about those times.
“Most of the time, though, I was at the shelter. It was a good place,” she said brightly, trying to convince both herself and Selina that it was all okay.
“I see.”
It was quiet for a few moments. Only the sound of the kitchen tap running filled the growing hush.
“I should be going,” Selina finally said. “Tell Abi I’ll call her later and will advise a time to come over and see the boys. When is Michael home?”
“Thursday.”
“Good, I need to speak to him about Abi’s upcoming birthday.”
Kate looked at Selina. “She didn’t mention her birthday. When is it?”
“The eighteenth. She doesn’t like a lot of fuss. Michael and I usually arrange a quiet family meal or something. I presume this year will be no different. If he can be bothered to turn up.”
Kate didn’t say anything. She knew that Michael’s constant absence with work was something Abigail struggled with. Kate just attempted to stay as neutral as possible.
“Enjoy your…” Selina looked Kate up and down, reminding her what a state she probably looked. “Day off?”
“Yes. I don’t normally dress like this,” Kate said.
“I should think not.” Selina grabbed her bag and showed herself out of the kitchen. “It would scare the children.”
Kate chuckled. “Always a pleasure, Selina,” she called out.
Selina didn’t reply, simply closing the front door behind her as she left.
The End
Kate took the kids’ clothes out of the tumble dryer and folded them. Laundry for the two boys was a never-ending job. Abigail often helped with the laundry, knowing that she caused some of the extra workload by changing the boys into outfits for various photoshoots destined for the internet. Of course, one of the boys would have sticky hands or end up spilling a drink on the new clothes, and they’d end up back in the wash.
It was coming up to eight o’clock. The boys were in bed asleep and Kate was looking forward to finishing up the laundry and curling up in bed with a book.
She’d borrowed a few romance books from Abigail and was enjoying reading again, even if they were all straight romance and she had to flip past the pages where the couple started to get amorous.
She’d always done so, even long before she realised that her interests lay elsewhere. It was strange to look back at all the very obvious signs. She’d never really liked male company, and kissing a man often sent a shiver up her spine. She’d always assumed that it was simple nerves. Something she’d get used to.
It wasn’t until years later that she realised that she preferred women. Not until she was married to a control freak. The memory of Simon made her shudder so hard she dropped a sock. Even now, he held some phantom control over her, sneaking into her nightmares and staring her down.
She snatched the sock up off the floor just as Michael entered the room.
“Oh good, I caught you before you went to bed.” He poked his head back into the kitchen and closed the door, trapping them both in the utility room.
Kate’s heart started to beat a little faster. Michael seemed nice enough, but she didn’t know him that well. In all the time she’d been working for Abigail, Michael had spent three quarters of that time working away from home. The remaining time he was either on the phone or in and out of the house like a yo-yo.
“Yes, I was about to head up.” Kate quickly and half-heartedly folded the last couple of items.
“Selina is coming over shortly, she’s dropping off some paperwork for Abi to sign. But I need a couple of moments with her to talk about some plans for Abi’s birthday. I was wondering if you could keep Abi busy with something while we talk?”
Kate quickly nodded. “Yes, of course.” She agreed in the hope that the door would be opened again and this awkward encounter would be over.
Michael didn’t notice her discomfort. He folded his arms and leaned back against the washing machine. “It’s weird, Selina’s been over here more in the last month than she has in the past five years. Looks like the ice queen might be thawing in her old age.” He laughed at his own joke.
Kate felt irritated by his comment. “I think it’s nice that she’s trying to make a connection with the boys.”
Michael looked at her, a lopsided grin on his face. “You’re quite a soft touch, aren’t you?”
Kate shook her head and turned back to her laundry basket.
“I don’t mean that as a bad thing, it’s sweet.”
Suddenly, she felt Michael standing right behind her. She didn’t turn around because she knew if she did, they’d be face to face and much closer than she was happy with.
“Actually, I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Michael said, his mouth much too close to her ear, “I think you’re very lovely. A great addition to this family. We may not know each other that well, but I hope to change that… soon.”
Kate’s breath trapped in her throat. She had a couple of seconds to decide if Michael was being nice or, as she suspected, was trying to make a move on her. She wondered if she was being paranoid. There were always rumours about the father of the house and the nanny. The porn industry was practically built on it.
She ran his words over and over in her head. Was he being nice, or was he being a creep?
His fingers softly touched her upper arm.
She swallowed hard. Suddenly all the time away from home, the strange working hours, and the cryptic comments from Selina made sense. So did the fact that such a lovely family had gone through au pairs like tissues before Kate had
arrived.
Michael wasn’t the sweet father and husband he portrayed himself to be, and Kate wasn’t about to go down that road. Her mind was made up.
She hurriedly stepped away from him, putting some much-needed space between them. From this safe distance, she glared at him. “Don’t touch me. Don’t ever touch me.”
Michael’s creepily pleasant smile vanished in an instant. Now he looked angry, defensive.
“As if I’d want to touch you,” he spat back at her. “Some little nothing like you.”
“Open the door.” Kate nodded her head towards the closed door behind him. “I want to leave.”
“Oh, you’ll leave all right. You’re fired. And if you tell Abi a single thing about what you think happened here, then I’ll make sure it’s the last thing you say.”
Kate had heard enough. She shouldered her way past Michael and rushed to her room. She closed the door behind her, desperately wishing it had a lock.
Her brain swam in a foggy sea of panic. The only clear thought was that she had to get out of there. She had to leave. She looked out at the cold, dark night and then at her soft bed.
The thought of sleeping on the streets that evening was unappealing to say the least. A glance at the clock told her that she’d never get a bed at the shelter.
She had money, but she didn’t want to waste it on a hotel. If she was soon to be homeless and unemployed, she’d need every penny she had to survive. Wasting large amounts of her small savings account on a hotel for the night was not in the cards.
She sucked in a few deep breaths, attempting to fight off the panic and calm herself down.
“I can stay tonight,” she whispered to herself. “Leave in the morning.”
The door flew open, cracking loudly against the wall.
Kate jumped, spun around, and found herself face to face with a furious Abigail.
“Get out,” she growled.
Kate swallowed. “Let me explain—”
“You hit on my husband? Under my own roof? While I was in the next room?” Abigail’s voice grew louder and louder. “You were my friend!”
Friend was a push. Kate was hired as a nanny to the boys but was given additional tasks in line with a maid. She cooked, cleaned, and did the laundry, but she’d done it all happily, relieved to be in a job and in a safe home. Abigail was kind to her, but they were not friends.