Going Up

by A. E. Radley

  “Did she have any meetings with any board members today?” Kate asked.

  Alison nodded. “She was due to meet with Angus.”

  “Did Angus cancel?”

  “No, I had to let his secretary know that Selina wasn’t here.”

  “And the meeting was still in his diary?” Kate pressed.

  “I think so, why?” Alison asked.

  “He would have known if she’d been fired. He wouldn’t have expected her to attend the meeting if she was,” Kate explained.

  How does this woman work for Selina? Kate asked herself. She couldn’t follow a simple thread and make an easy assumption. In fact, the only reason she seemed to care at all about Selina’s disappearance was because it was causing her extra work. It was impressive that Selina hadn’t torn her to pieces yet.

  “Oh, yeah.” Alison looked blank for a moment. “Oh, well.” She shrugged again and turned her attention back to her computer.

  Kate glanced at the empty office once more. She felt bad for Selina that no one seemed to be worried about her. If anything, her absence was considered inconvenient. She couldn’t entirely blame them. Selina hadn’t exactly gone out of her way to be friendly to anyone. Why would they care that she vanished? Kate imagined that some people were ecstatic at the prospect of a Selina-free day.

  She walked back towards the elevator and wondered what Nicholas leaving had meant for Selina. Was it promotion? Was it disappointment?

  Selina’s whole life seemed to centre on getting to the thirteenth floor of the building, so Kate couldn’t imagine what effect that being snatched away from her would have. But if she’d been promoted, then where was she?

  She entered the elevator and selected the ground floor. She reached into her bag and pulled out her mobile phone. She unlocked the device and toyed with the idea of calling Selina.

  She bit her lip as she wondered what she would say, and if it was even her place to call. Turning up at the office pretending to have been passing by was one thing, actively calling Selina was entirely another.

  Fragments of their argument flashed in her mind, and she wondered if Selina would even want to talk to her. She dropped her phone back into her bag.

  “Everything is fine,” she muttered to herself. “She’s fine. And even if she wasn’t, she doesn’t need you.”

  She stepped out of the elevator, crossed the lobby, and waved goodbye to the security guards. She started to walk home, crossing the road, and looking towards the car park where she had first met Selina and started the rollercoaster journey of the last few months.

  Remaining homeless could have been disastrous for her. She’d known so many people who hadn’t been as lucky as she had. People who’d died from malnutrition, cold, injury, or worse.

  Selina had saved her from that life. Not that Kate placed her entire salvation at the feet of the older woman. No, she was realistic about these things. Kate knew that her own motivation, determination, and hard work had helped her to achieve the things she had, but Selina had been the one to take that first chance on her. Even if it had been for selfish reasons. The fact remained that, without Selina’s actions, Kate wouldn’t be where she was today.

  She groaned and paused walking.

  She couldn’t leave things the way they were. She had to know Selina was okay. Even if that meant the older woman shouted at her for getting in touch.

  She opened her bag again and picked up her phone.

  Flirting?

  Selina couldn’t understand why she had never quit her job before. Walking out was hugely enjoyable. Not that she could quite remember walking out. She assumed she had done so, she’d meant to at any rate. Everything was quite hazy, and she was having trouble recalling what had happened and when.

  “I’m not sure you should have any more.”

  Selina looked at the bartender and pouted. She knew she was pouting, assumed she looked ridiculous, and yet she did it anyway.

  “You’ve been here for hours. You’re completely wasted,” the bartender pushed.

  “But I’m having fun,” Selina replied. She turned on her stool and gestured to the pub. Behind her was a scattering of people. “With my new friends.”

  She’d not spoken to a single one of them. As far as she was aware. She cocked her head to one side and tried to piece together a timeline from her arrival at the pub to her current drink order. It was hard work, and she quickly gave up.

  The bartender smiled kindly. “Lady, you’ve sat on that stool for the last four hours, ordered far too many drinks, and muttered to yourself the whole time.”

  Selina pushed her empty glass forward another inch. “I’m working up my courage. I’m shy…” She looked at the bartender’s name badge. She squinted and stared at the young woman’s chest for quite some time as she waited for the letters stopped jumping around. “…Yvonne,” she finished lamely.

  “One more drink,” Yvonne said. “Then you should probably go home. Can I at least get you some food with that?”

  Selina felt her stomach roll at the very thought of food. She shook her head and waved her credit card towards Yvonne. “I’m not hungry.”

  Yvonne cleared the empty glass away and turned to prepare Selina a fresh drink.

  Selina leaned her head on her hand and let out a long sigh. She knew she was drunk. She was intoxicated, not idiotic. It was by design. At some point the previous night she had decided that being sober was entirely overrated. Suddenly she understood the desire of some to drink their problems away.

  She’d gone from one place to another, briefly stopping at home to raid her own wine cabinet, while boring Parbrook decided to sleep, before heading out again. Her brow furrowed, a memory of signing some documents floated just out of reach.

  The more she thought about it, the harder it was to grasp the thought.

  She shook her head. It didn’t matter now. Nothing mattered now. She’d been screwed over, and now she intended to remain drunk until she came up with a plan. A plan for what the hell she was going to do with her life.

  Yvonne placed a drink in front of her and held the payment machine out. Selina held her credit card up and chased the machine around, finally capturing it and hearing the beep that indicated the payment had been successful.

  “Gotcha,” she muttered.

  “Seriously, lady, think about going home soon.” Yvonne handed her a receipt and then left to serve someone at the other end of the bar.

  Selina ignored her. She had no desire to go home. And no desire to go to work. It was a weird feeling to no longer want to go to work, something that had been such an integral part of her life for so long.

  Admittedly, it was nice to no longer feel like she was in a constant battle with time. No more rushing to her next meeting. No more next meeting. In fact, she didn’t even know what time it was.

  “Hey.” Someone sat on the stool next to her. Selina turned and saw a woman looking at her. She was in her thirties, had long, blonde hair, and was casually dressed in jeans and a smart, white, plunge-neck top.

  “Hello,” Selina greeted. She squinted a little at the woman, wondering if she knew her. Things had gotten more and more hazy recently.

  “I’m Meghan.”

  Selina shook her outstretched hand. The grip was firm, and her smile was wide. “Selina.”

  “Nice to meet you, Selina, and nice pin.” Meghan pointed to something on Selina’s chair.

  She turned and glanced behind her. Her jacket was slung over the back of the stool, the rainbow pin that she always wore clearly visible.

  “Thank you,” she said. The world spun a little bit when she sat up again.

  “I’d buy you a drink, but it looks like someone got there before me.” Meghan indicated Selina’s full glass with a nod of her head. She leaned forward and placed her hand softly on Selina’s knee. “My friend got sick of me staring at you from afar and told me to come over and introduce myself.”

  “Oh.” Selina was pretty sure this Meghan person was flirting.
It had been so long that she wasn’t really sure what constituted flirting any more.

  Meghan sat up, her warm hand leaving Selina’s knee. She raised her hand and gestured for Yvonne’s attention.

  Selina felt someone approach her on the other side. She turned her head to see another tall, elegant woman. She smiled as she pulled up a stool and dragged it close to Selina.

  “I’m Rach.”

  “Hello,” Selina greeted.

  “So, Selina,” Meghan said, “I don’t see a ring. Please don’t break my heart and tell me that you’re married?”

  Definitely flirting, Selina’s brain confirmed.

  “Divorced,” Selina replied. A memory tried to valiantly fight its way to the surface, but was quickly overpowered by the booze.

  “Her loss,” Rach said. “I’m assuming her?”

  Selina nodded.

  “Told you,” Rach spoke over Selina’s head to Meghan. “And you were afraid to come over here. I have better gaydar than you do.”

  “She does,” Meghan replied.

  Selina felt a little dizzy from whipping her head from one side to the other to keep up with the conversation. The two women kept talking, and Selina did her best to keep up. More drinks appeared at the bar, and some sort of drinking game ensued.

  With one of the women on each side of her, Selina didn’t want to be rude. Besides, it was good to take her mind off events. She felt a hand on her back. Meghan’s hand. And it didn’t feel at all innocent.

  It was nice to be wanted. Even if she felt like her head was spinning.

  A small glass was placed in her hand. A shot. And judging by the empty shot glasses on the bar in front of her, it wasn’t her first. She hesitated for a moment, realising that she was beyond drunk. She was struggling to remember anything.

  “Wait.” Selina lowered her glass.

  She needed a second to clear her mind a little. She was quickly becoming lost.

  “I need a minute,” she said.

  Without warning, warm lips pressed against hers. It had been a long time since Selina had received any physical affection. She quickly gave way and allowed Meghan to kiss her fully, kissing Meghan in turn. It was messy, which was probably her own fault.

  She felt bereft when it ended suddenly.

  “Come home with me,” was whispered in her ear. “Please.”

  She couldn’t remember replying. More discussion went over her head. Another drink was pressed into her hand. They told her that they were housemates, they lived nearby. She felt hesitant. Something told her it was wrong. She pushed that thought to one side. It had been forever since she’d let herself go and had some fun. She couldn’t recall ever having a one-night stand.

  The next thing she knew, she was walking towards the door, one of the women on each elbow. Something felt off, probably because she was drunk and seemed to be losing snippets of time. The last hour was merely a series of snapshots in her mind. She wondered if she was blacking out or simply forgetting events.

  She’d never been truly drunk, she had no frame of reference for what it felt like. Even if she did, she knew she was too far gone to be able to recall it anyway.

  A feeling pushed its way to the surface. Something important.

  “My bag,” she muttered as she touched her shoulders to locate it.

  “Shh.” Meghan hushed her and kissed her again.

  Selina found herself being pressed against a wall. An outside wall. The cold air whipped around them, and she felt her sleeve being pulled up. A hand wrapping itself around her wrist. Meghan kissed her as if she were a lifeline. Selina clung to her uselessly, only the wall was keeping her upright now.

  In the distance she heard shouting. Lips were torn from hers, and she started to stumble to the floor. The sound of footsteps hitting the cobbled street was deafening, so she winced and covered her ears. The noise was getting to be too much as shouts and footsteps merged into one loud din. Selina just wanted it out of her head.

  Then she felt soft hands holding her face. These weren’t demanding and impatient like before. These felt warm and calming.

  She opened her eyes and waited for the blur of colours to stop spinning.

  “Selina?”

  She frowned, wincing at the pain from the simple gesture.

  “Are you okay?”

  Her vision cleared slowly, and she realised she was face to face with Kate.

  Come Home

  Kate looked into Selina’s eyes, wondering what on earth had happened to her. Selina was always so cool, calm, and collected. Now she was sprawled out on the ground and looked to be drunk, maybe even drugged. Her eyes were wild and unfocused, and she looked lost and dazed.

  “Can you sit up?” Kate asked.

  Selina’s eyes darted around, trying to take in the situation but seemingly not able to.

  Kate took Selina by her forearms and gently sat her upright. Selina’s long legs didn’t cooperate, and Kate realised she had little control over her body by that point. Kate couldn’t ever remember being so drunk that she flailed about in the street. From what she knew about Selina, this was most definitely not the norm for her either. Kate tugged Selina’s skirt down to cover her as much as possible. She straightened her top in an attempt to make her look a little more presentable. A little more like herself.

  “How are you here?” Selina slurred.

  “How did I know you were here?” Kate clarified.

  Selina nodded through a wince, her hand raising to her head.

  “I called you, remember?”

  Selina looked thoughtful but then shook her head.

  “I called and asked how you were. You sounded drunk, and I asked where you were. You told me you were here, and I said to stay put because I was coming to get you.”

  Selina looked confused.

  “Do you remember any of that?” Kate asked.

  “No,” Selina whispered. She looked around in confusion, and Kate’s heart clenched for her. She looked so lost. This was not the adorable drunken Selina that Carrie had implied. That worried Kate because it meant that Selina was operating completely outside her normal personality.

  “She took my bag,” Selina said.

  “Yeah, they mugged you, I tried to go after them, but I…” Kate trailed off. Adrenaline was still pumping through her body. She’d been walking towards the pub when she saw the three women leaving, Selina in the middle, looking like she could hardly stand without the assistance of the other two.

  The women on either side of her looked shifty, and Kate had immediately known something was up. Selina was mumbling something and looking confused. A few moments later one of the women was pulling her watch off her wrist and throwing it into a second handbag she’d been holding. Which Kate belatedly realised was Selina’s.

  The other woman was kissing Selina, pushing her up against a wall and distracting her. Kate had seen red and shouted. In hindsight she should have waited until she was closer.

  They’d pushed Selina to the ground and ran. Kate was too worried about Selina to go chasing after belongings. She couldn’t just leave the older woman on the ground, especially as she didn’t know if there were more muggers hanging around the area.

  Selina rubbed her arms. Goose-bumped flesh started to appear below her capped sleeves, and Kate realised she didn’t have a jacket. She knew Selina favoured designer clothing and assumed the thieves had taken that as well.

  “Kate,” Selina mumbled.

  She didn’t seem to be asking her anything, just saying her name as if reminding herself.

  Kate removed her own coat and draped it around Selina who was now shivering. “We need to get you home,” she said.

  She held out her hands and waited for Selina to grab hold. When she did, she pulled Selina to her feet and held her steady while she wobbled a little on her heels. It was then she realised that Selina didn’t have her keys. She was wearing a work skirt with no pockets and a short-sleeved top. With no bag and no jacket, there were no keys, no phone, n
o money. Nothing.

  “Um. Let’s go back to mine.”

  Selina didn’t say anything. She just looked at Kate with dull eyes, waiting to be told what to do next.

  “Can you walk?” Kate asked.

  She looped her arm through Selina’s and gestured towards the main road on the other side of the pub, where she knew there would be taxis waiting.

  Selina didn’t answer but made an effort to put one foot in front of the other.

  Kate kept a firm hold of her arm and guided them to the main road. She was furious that someone would take advantage of Selina, and terrified of what might have happened if they hadn’t been stopped. On top of that, she was confused. She still had no idea why Selina had disappeared for the day, what caused her to sign her divorce papers, or why she was attempting to consume all of the alcohol in Parbrook.

  She saw a taxi driver and raised her hand to flag him down. He pulled the car a little closer and got out and opened the back door for them. Kate gave him a look which clearly told him not to make any comments about what he was seeing. The last thing she needed was a cheeky cab driver thinking he was amusing.

  She got Selina in the car and closed the door. She rushed around to the other side, telling the cabbie her address as she did.

  The moment they started moving, Selina started to fall asleep. Kate didn’t know if that was a good idea or not, but judging from how Selina slumped in the seat, she doubted that she would have been able to keep her awake anyway.

  Kate took Selina’s hand and kept a loose hold on it.

  What-ifs and worst-case scenarios whizzed through her mind. She had to actively silence them to prevent an all-out panic from consuming her.

  She wanted to know what had happened, but knew Selina was in no state to answer questions. They sat in silence, Selina half asleep and Kate building a to-do list. It was the only way she could keep herself from spiralling: focus on what she could control and put a plan into place to ensure Selina was safe and comfortable.