The nurse has left and it’s just Mia and I in the room again.
She leans over and gingerly lays her head on my shoulder, being careful not to hurt me at all.
“You put me down as your emergency contact.” She’s not asking a question, but merely stating a fact.
“Of course I did. You’re the most important person in my life,” I whisper as I close my eyes.
“You scared me,” she says, and it’s the first sign of real fear I’ve heard in her voice.
“I’m sorry.”
“You can’t leave me, Luke. I need you. You made me a promise. I don’t care what anyone says or thinks… I love you.”
“I’m keeping my promise, Mia. I’m not going anywhere. It’d take a lot more than a speeding van to keep me from you.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Mia
I step outside the door and take a big, deep breath of fresh air.
I can’t erase the vision in my mind of him lying there, unmoving and pale, surrounded my machines and medical professionals.
The fear I felt was so real and raw, it still causes me to break out into a cold sweat whenever I think about the possibility of losing him.
I hate hospitals something fierce, but I’ve been inside one for two days now, because no matter how much I dislike being here, I’d never leave Luke alone.
I spot a small garden with a bench and wander in the direction of it.
Luke is asleep, so I’ve probably got half an hour before I need to head back up.
I pull out my cell phone to call Emily and check how Joe is doing, but when I look at the screen, I see she’s beaten me to it.
There’s a bunch of photos of what he’s been playing with and a rundown of everything he’s eaten this morning already. She’s even informed me of his poop schedule.
I have to laugh at that over share. When I told her I wanted to know everything, I didn’t expect her to take it quite so literally.
Emily has been an absolute godsend.
She’s insisted that I stay here with Luke while she takes care of my son. I would have understood if she wanted to be here at his bedside herself, but she’s declared that I’m the one he needs right now.
I never considered that someone might actually be happy about Luke and mine’s relationship, no questions asked, but she was. In fact, forget happy, Emily was ecstatic, and not in the least bit surprised.
That’s what I love about Luke’s sister – she’s a total free spirit who doesn’t want or need to think twice about something like this, or see it as any type of problem.
She’s just happy that we’re happy. End of story.
I sigh as I think about the fact that not everyone is so accepting.
I know I’m going to need thicker skin, because nothing and no one is going to stop me from being with Luke. Getting that call and seeing him lying in a hospital only cemented the fact that I won’t be apart from him.
The sun warms my face as I sit out here and a small bird lands near my feet. I watch it as it hops around before flying away.
I look down from the sky where I watched the bird disappear and catch sight of Caleb. He’s standing outside the hospital doors looking lost.
“Caleb!” I call to him.
He looks around for who called his name. His face morphs into a sheepish expression when he recognises it’s me, like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t be.
He walks slowly over to me and I shuffle over so he can sit down next to me.
“Are you here to see Luke?”
“Is he okay?” he asks instead of answering my question.
“He’ll be fine in no time.”
He nods his head but doesn’t say anything more.
We sit in silence, but unlike last time we spoke, I don’t feel nervous about it.
“Mia,” he finally says. “I’m sorry for how we left things.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
He turns so he’s looking right at me, rather than looking everywhere but at me, like he has until this moment.
“I couldn’t understand how the two people that were the closest to him could be together like that, and it took me a day or two, but I think I finally get it… it’s because you were the two people that were closest to him.”
His words bring a tear to my eye.
“I can’t help but think that this is exactly what Troy would want. I know that sounds weird, but he’s not here anymore and he would have wanted you to be happy. He loved you so much, Mia.”
“I loved him too. I still do. That’s why I’ve felt so guilty,” I confess.
He reaches out and gives my hand a reassuring squeeze.
“He trusted Luke more than anyone in the world. Can you think of a single person he’d rather you and Joe were sharing your life with? Because I can’t.”
“No,” I answer honestly, because there isn’t another answer. It was Troy’s final wish – that Luke would look after us. He gave him the burden of that responsibility because he knew Luke could shoulder it.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Mia, it hurt. It still hurts a bit, but I get it. You’re entitled to get on with your life – I don’t want to punish you for being alive; that’s what my mother has done to all of us, and it’s not right.”
He’s right. That’s exactly what Everly has done to me, Luke, and to him too.
“I don’t want to feel guilty anymore. I know Luke carries it with him every day and I’d give just about anything to take that away from him. Not just the guilt for having these feelings, but his guilt for not being able to save Troy too.”
“You can’t take that away from him, only he can let that go… he’s a good man, Mia. Luke is one of the best guys I’ve ever met, and he’ll look after you with everything he’s got. I can see how much he loves you and Joe. He’ll take care of you both better than anyone else ever could.”
“Thank you.” I sniff back the tears that have snuck in. I’m feeling totally overcome with emotion at his honesty.
I didn’t expect him to take it this well or to be this kind.
This is the best outcome I could have hoped for from him. He’s upset, but he doesn’t hate me or Luke. He’s hurt, but he’s willing to be compassionate and he’s trying to understand.
He shrugs. “Troy never held a grudge, and I’m trying to be more like him.”
I know that Troy would be so proud of the man that Caleb is today.
“So you’ll keep coming over and hanging out with me and Joe?” I ask as I wipe the tears away from the corners of my eyes.
“Just try and stop me.” He grins.
That’s all I want. I just want life to go on.
I just want to be happy.
“Thank you for always being here for me, even when I pushed you away.”
“I get it – I look just like him… I know how hard that was for you.” He looks at me with sympathy and understanding in his green eyes.
“You knew that was why I couldn’t look at you?” I ask in surprise. I thought it was a secret I had kept well, but clearly, I was wrong.
He nods sadly and then gives me a smile. “Why do you think I grew a beard and caveman hair?”
I don’t know why, but that makes me burst into laughter. Crazy, almost hysterical laughter just bubbles from me.
He made himself look like Tarzan, just to make life easier for me.
Caleb looks at me with a smile. “It’s good to see you laughing, Mia. Even if that laugh is kind of scaring me.”
A feeling of peace settles over me in that moment as I sit here laughing with my brother-in-law, and I find myself looking up to the sky.
I don’t know what I believe anymore; whether there’s something more out there after you’re gone, or if you can look over the ones you love, but I don’t think it matters what I believe anymore. I just have to do what’s best for me and Joe and try and let the rest go.
Troy and I had the best life together and now it’s ti
me to see what Luke and I can share.
***
I step inside the small hospital room and have to do a double take of the scene that’s greeted me.
I could be imagining it, given that I haven’t had a lot of sleep these past few days, but when I hear Luke say my name, I know that it’s really happening.
Robert is sitting next to Luke’s bedside, looking cautiously across the room at me.
“Robert?” I blurt out in surprise.
“Hi, Mia.”
I look to Luke for an explanation, but he just shrugs at me.
I haven’t got the faintest clue what Robert’s doing here, or more to the point, how he managed to convince Luke to let him stay, but I guess I’m about to find out.
“Are you here to see me?” I ask in confusion, as both men watch me enter the room.
Robert clears his throat. “I came to see how Luke was doing, and I wanted to talk to you too, yes.” He shrugs. I can tell he’s embarrassed and perhaps a little nervous too – I know I certainly am.
“Come here, Mia,” Luke says, and I scurry across the room to his side.
He smiles up at me and holds out his hand for me to take. I grasp it in mine gratefully as I sit down as close to him as I can.
I feel ridiculous. He’s lying hurt in a hospital bed, and I’m still looking at him to take care of me. Even though there’s no sign of Everly here today, I still feel a little on edge.
I don’t know if Robert is here to yell, or judge, or to apologise even – this thing could really go any which way and I try to mentally prepare myself for any of the possible outcomes.
I feel Luke’s hand tighten around mine and it’s only then that I realise my eyes are squeezed shut tight.
“You’re okay, sweetheart.” He murmurs his reassurance. “It’s just him here.”
I can do this. This will be my first attempt at having thicker skin. I open my eyes.
Robert is sitting opposite me, on the other side of Luke’s bed, looking at me with sadness.
“I’m really sorry for what happened with Everly, Mia.”
I shrug my shoulders. “You’re not responsible for her actions,” I tell him softly.
“No, I’m not,” he agrees, “but I am responsible for mine, and I never should have let things get this bad – I should have said something to her a long time ago.”
“You’re right. You should have,” Luke almost growls from next to me.
Robert’s gaze flickers from mine to Luke’s and back again.
“She’s put Mia through hell. I get she’s been hurting, but we all have, Rob, and what she’s done isn’t right.” He coughs a bit and I reach for him in concern.
His ribs are fractured and he shouldn’t be stressing like this.
“I’m okay,” he says in reply to my unspoken concern.
Robert looks at him as though it hurts him to witness Luke’s pain. “You’re right. It’s not okay, and I’m sorry for that, Mia – you too, Luke.”
Luke squeezes my hand and gives him a nod.
“Thank you. I appreciate you coming here to tell us that,” I say.
Robert gives me a small, sad smile. “She’s not the same woman anymore. She changed when Troy died, and she’s just become this awful version of herself that I don’t know how to deal with.”
“Why don’t you leave her then?” Luke asks, his question mirroring my thoughts.
Everly is horrible and Robert doesn’t deserve the wrath of her any more than I do. I can’t fathom why he continues to put up with her moods and abuse.
He shakes his head. “I’ve thought about it, believe me… but I can’t leave her. She’s not the woman I’ve been married to for thirty years, but that woman is still in there somewhere – she has to be. I think I just need to hang in there and wait for her to come back to me.”
I don’t know whether to admire his commitment to his wife, or shake him for being so god damn stupid, but it’s his life – it’s his choice to make. I hope he’ll afford me the same courtesy with my life and my decisions.
“But regardless of the status of our marriage, I still need to apologise for the hurt she caused – she had no right to judge you, either of you. I know you loved Troy, Mia. But the reality is that he’s not coming back, and the last thing he would have wanted is for you to never move on with your life.”
“I know.” I smile sadly.
Robert clears his throat awkwardly again and gets to his feet. “Well, that was all I really came here to say. And I’m glad you’re okay, Luke, I really am.”
I nod at him as he walks towards the door.
I could just let him go without saying another word, but if I’m going to try and honour what Troy would have wanted then I have to speak up.
“Robert?” I call after him before he disappears around the corner.
He turns back.
“You’re welcome to see Joe as often as you like, okay? Troy would want him to know you… just give me some notice before you come, and we’ll sort something out.”
He smiles for real this time. “I’d like that. And we’ll be sure to book a hotel in the future.”
“I think that would be best.” I manage a smile.
He disappears out into the hallway and I sag against Luke in relief that it’s over and it didn’t result in any screaming or yelling.
“That was not what I expected,” I murmur into his shirt.
“Are you okay?” He chuckles.
“I’m fine. I’m exhausted. I’m relieved. I’m in love.” I list off all the things that I’m feeling.
“That was really big of you, Mia. Troy would be proud of you.”
“Thank you,” I murmur, “I just hope they give us at least a couple of months breathing room.”
“Well, I get out of here tomorrow, so maybe things can go back to normal for a while before the mother-in-law from hell graces us with her presence again.”
“I don’t even know what normal is these days,” I say with a smile.
There’s a knock at the door and when I look up, it’s Caleb standing there.
“Hey,” Caleb says to Luke.
“Hey, man,” Luke replies, a hint of caution in his voice.
These are the first words that have been exchanged between the two of them since things have changed.
I watch Caleb’s expressions carefully. I know he’s told me he wants us to be happy, but I don’t know how he’s going to handle things with Luke yet.
It’s a complex, sensitive situation we’ve all found ourselves in, not helped in the least by the fact that Luke is broken and bruised.
The silence stretches for a few long moments before Caleb blows out a deep breath and finally speaks. “I’m so fucking glad you’re okay.”
I can almost see the weight being physically lifted from his shoulders.
I’m so happy he decided to come up here after all.
He crosses the room until he’s standing in the spot his father just vacated.
I hear Luke say something to Caleb and a mumbled reply back that I don’t catch before Luke pulls Caleb in for one of those semi awkward man hugs that involve a lot of patting each other on the back and not a lot of actual hugging, but it’s still a sight for sore eyes.
I release a breath I hadn’t realised I’d been holding. I’d have felt terrible if their bond was lost or damaged over something like this. Caleb doesn’t have a lot left of his childhood relationships – he needs both Luke and I in his life.
“I better get going, Dad’s waiting. I just couldn’t leave until I saw for myself that you were alright.”
“You came with your dad?” I ask in surprise. He didn’t tell me that part when we talked outside.
He nods. “We’re speaking again… spending some time together.”
“I’m happy for you, Caleb,” Luke says, and he sounds like a proud big brother.
Caleb shuffles towards the door, gives us both an awkward wave and disappears.
I smile up at Luke and
his answering smile is blinding. Maybe things might be going to be okay after all.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Luke
This whole ‘live in your own house away from the woman you love’ thing, isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
I’ve endured less than one week of being back home and I’m sick to death of it already. It’s not that I particularly enjoyed being stuck on Mia’s couch half the day while she waited on me and played nurse, but being all healed up and home on my own isn’t all that great either.
The only positive is that it’s the weekend now, and it’s time for me to surprise Mia.
I’m taking her on a date – technically our first date.
It feels weird to call it a first date when I already know everything about her, but that’s exactly what it is.
Just because we’re going about this in a way that isn’t by the book, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to do things right by her.
I want to treat her, spoil her and woo her. I want to make her fall even deeper in love with me than she already is.
I knock on her front door and wait, even though I know it drives her crazy – if I’m honest, that’s why I do it – I like seeing that adorable little crease that forms in between her eyes when she frowns at me.
She opens the door with that very frown in place, but before she can tell me off, I get in first.
“You ready, Mia?” I grin at her.
“Ready for what?”
“It’s date day.”
Her confused face morphs into a thrilled one. “We’re going on a date?” she asks excitedly, her voice rising a few octaves.
God, I’ll take her on a date every weekend if she’s going to get this excited about it.
“We sure are… but not until later. You have plans for the afternoon first.”
“I do?” Her eyes widen with surprise.
I nod. “I’m watching Joe, and you and Em are going to get pampered.” I point out to my car where Emily is sitting, waiting for her. “So, go on – get out of here.”
“But… what?” Mia asks. “I’m not ready.”
Mr. March: A Friends to Lovers Romance (Calendar Boys Book 3) Page 10