* * *
If one could become intoxicated on lust and promise, I’d have gone to my knees hours ago. As it was, I stood in my living room in front of Meredith, our clothes on, our bodies a breath apart, and knew if I stood here much longer, I’d be down on my knees anyway.
How I could be here in this moment so quickly, I didn’t know, but I didn’t dare wonder what could have been.
Instead, I wanted to breathe, to live, and to forget my worries and finally fall into the temptation that was Meredith’s taste.
“Let me kiss you?” I asked, my breath shaky.
“You have to ask?” Meredith leaned forward, her eyes dark, her mouth parted.
“Of course, I do. I don’t want to do anything neither of us is ready for.”
The woman in front of me laughed, the sound going right to my core. “How about this? Anything for tonight is wanted. Needed. We see where it goes, then wonder what could happen in the morning. You don’t need to ask. Now fucking kiss me, Zia.”
And so, I did.
She was soft.
Supple.
Achingly perfect.
And I needed more.
She tasted of whiskey and delight. Of promise and heartbreak.
And I craved her.
Meredith slid her fingers into my hair, and I angled my head back, opening my mouth for more. She bit at my lip, and I grinned, holding back a laugh as she licked away the sting.
“You taste like our evening,” Meredith said, her voice low.
“Should I ask you if you want to see how the rest of me tastes?” I asked, daring, teasing.
“I think we should figure that out.” Her eyes went bright with need this time, her cheekbones stained pink.
I knew the look in her eyes matched mine, and I swallowed hard, needing more. Needing the woman in front of me.
And so, I kissed her again, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. She slid her hands down my back, moving slowly along my curves until she cupped my ass, squeezing tightly. I swallowed hard, exploring her mouth, letting my arms fall to gently graze along her shoulders. I needed her jacket off so I could touch her skin.
She pulled back, rolled her shoulders a bit, and let her gorgeous leather jacket fall to the floor.
I did the same with mine, and then she was kissing me more, her hands exploring. When her fingertips moved to the hem of my dress and slowly danced along the skin of my upper thigh, I moaned, letting my head fall back. She used the motion to latch on to my neck, a gentle kiss, a lick, a scrape of teeth. I moaned again, needing more, and so I tugged at her shirt, pulled it out of her pants, and let my fingers slide up her back, gently trailing along her soft skin.
“I’ve wanted you out of this dress since I first saw you in it,” Meredith whispered into my ear before biting my earlobe.
“Hate the dress that much?” I teased.
“No, I’ve been wet for you since I saw you in it,” she said, her voice a purr. “I want to fuck you in this dress. And fuck you out of it. And, honestly, just fuck you.”
I groaned, sliding my thighs together, needing the friction. Meredith let out a throaty laugh.
“That’s my girl,” she whispered, and then her mouth was on mine again, and I was lost.
She licked at my tongue, and I kissed her harder, my hands going up her back to the lacy strap of her bra. I played with the elastic, needing her skin, and to touch her. When her fingers slid my dress up even higher then wrapped around to my butt, I groaned.
“Were you not wearing panties the whole evening?” she asked.
A nod. “I couldn’t wear a bra with this dress either,” I said, and she groaned.
“You are going to be the death of me,” she whispered and then slipped her fingers between my cheeks. I groaned, wanting to spread my legs, but needing the friction, as well.
“Already so wet for me,” she whispered, slowly diving deep between my thighs.
I let out a shocked gasp, the sensation too much, and she wasn’t even fully touching me.
When she slowly spread my cheeks, feeling my wetness, my mouth went dry, and I arched for her, needing more.
“That’s it. That’s what you need. Do you need me? You have my hands. Do you want my mouth?”
“I don’t know. I need it all.”
“That’s my girl.” She kissed me again before going down to her knees in front of me.
I swallowed hard and looked down at her, her blond hair a little messy from my hands. She grinned before putting both hands on either side of my thighs and shoving my dress up over my hips.
“Jesus,” I whispered, a laugh in my throat.
“I think that’s my line,” Meredith said before tapping either side of my thighs. “Now, spread your legs for me. Just a bit. I need to see what I’m working with.”
“You’re going to be the one ordering me around?” I asked, complying. The coolness of the room caressed my achingly hot pussy, and I let out a groan, not only from the sensation of the temperature difference but from the heat of her gaze raking along my skin.
“When I’m on my back later, you can take control. But for now, I think I need a taste.”
At that mental visual, Meredith leaned forward, and I slid my fingers into her hair, tightening my grip ever so slightly. She hummed in approval and then slowly licked me.
My knees went weak, and I was afraid I would fall in my heels, but thankfully, the couch was near. I leaned back, gripping the edge of it with all my might.
She lapped at me, spreading me with her tongue and flicking the tip against my clit. She had one hand on my thigh, keeping me steady, and she used the other to spread me even wider, lapping me up.
“So pretty and pink,” she whispered against me before alternating hot air and cool breaths along my wet heat.
I shook, arching my back for her.
“You taste so sweet. Like peaches.” She hummed before slowly penetrating me with a single finger. I arched for her, shaking.
“You’re going to make me come right here and now. Are you sure you don’t want to wait until later?”
“I think I can make you come more than once tonight. However, you best know I’m expecting the same,” she said, and I laughed.
“Oh, I think I can make that happen,” I said, shaking right along with her.
And then she kept licking, touching, and I moved my hands to her hair again, needing to touch her, needing everything.
When my toes curled, and my back arched once more, I came, my knees shaking. I almost fell. Then she was on her feet, her lips on mine, her arms holding me steady.
“I can taste myself on you,” I whispered.
“Now I want to taste myself,” she whispered against my mouth.
“Then we’d better get to the bedroom where I can lay out and taste you exactly the way I want,” I said, feeling far more daring than I had in months. Maybe even years.
I had been with both men and women in my life and enjoyed making love with both. I loved the human form, enjoyed the taste, the touch, the differences in everybody’s body and how everything changed from day to day, from arch to gasp.
It was all wonderful, and yet tonight felt different.
And because I had that thought, I quickly pushed it from my mind.
“Show me the way,” Meredith said, holding out her arm.
We were both disheveled, my dress still above my waist, my heels firmly on my feet. Neither of us would be wearing anything for much longer, though.
I took her hand and led her towards my bedroom, swaying my hips just enough that I knew she was staring right at my ass. I laughed.
“Well, this isn’t exactly how I thought I’d be wearing my dress tonight,” I said, being completely honest.
“I’ll be honest and say I kind of had this image in my head when I saw you in it.”
I threw my head back and laughed, and then she pushed me against the door to my bedroom, the wood cool against my bare skin, and ravaged my mouth. I arched for her, needing her touch, an
d I tugged at her shirt.
“You’re far too clothed. I’ve wanted to see your breasts fully since I first saw you in the backyard.
“You know, I still haven’t seen yours.”
And then she took a step back and shoved my dress off my shoulders. It was a tangle of fabric around my waist now, but then she had her mouth on my breasts, her hands and her tongue and her teeth and everything. I arched for her, my knees shaking again.
“No fair,” I gasped.
“You’re the one who isn’t fair in that dress.”
“I’m not wearing much of it now.”
She held my breasts in her hands, a heavy weight in each of her palms.
“How on earth did you dance tonight without wearing a bra? You are all curves and sin, lady.”
I winked at her. “The dress has a built-in bra of sorts. And let me say that my nipples are going to ache for the next week because of what I wore.”
Meredith winked. “Well, I’m pretty sure I can help you with your nipples if you want.”
“I did leave that line open for you, didn’t I?”
“I’m just saying, I can kiss them and make them better.”
“I still haven’t seen your breasts. I’m just saying. This is very one-sided, me standing here in roughed-up fabric and high heels that are hurting my feet.”
Concern washed over Meredith’s face. “Well then, let’s get you completely naked. And then I will indeed kiss and make it better.”
“Let me do the same for you.”
“Anything,” she whispered, and I wished that was the case. It wasn’t. This was only for one night. And I would be fine with that. I didn’t need anything more.
I moved my gaze from hers, afraid that she would see something in my eyes that would scare us both.
I reached up to the collar of Meredith’s shirt and slid my hands down to smooth it.
“I like this shirt. I should have complimented you on it before, but I got distracted by your eyes and your hair and your smile and the way you talked.” I was rambling, and I wasn’t sure that I liked it.
“And I should have mentioned the fact that I had a wonderful time tonight, including having my mouth on your heat. But I got distracted by the dress.”
“Okay, then,” I whispered, my breath coming in pants. And then with my gaze on hers, I slowly unbuttoned her shirt.
She wore a lacy white bra underneath, one that made her skin look tan and lickable.
“This is what I wanted to see,” I said, a grin on my face. “Well, I do feel like I’m a present being unwrapped on my birthday.”
“Should I make a birthday suit joke about presents, or should I get on with the kissing?”
“Please, for the love of God, get with the kissing.”
I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss between her breasts, and she moaned. The shirt fell to the floor, and I worked on her pants, both of us falling out of our shoes. And then my dress was on the floor beside us, and I was waiting for more.
“Yay for white lace panties,” I said.
“Well, I was thinking of going gray, but then it would have shown through the shirt, and I didn’t feel like wearing an undershirt.”
Now she was the one rambling.
“I don’t mind,” I said before pressing my lips to the lace over her mound.
She moaned, tugging at my hair, and I looked up, grinning.
“On the bed,” she ordered.
“I thought you said I could be in charge this time.”
“I lied. We can share.”
And then she used that incredibly beautiful strength of hers and lifted me up, practically tossing me onto the bed.
She reached around her back, undid her bra, and shoved her panties down. I laughed before practically swallowing my tongue at the sight of her dark red nipples, hard little buds on her very delicious breasts.
“Well, then,” I whispered. And then she was over me, her lips on mine, her hands roaming down my body.
We played with each other’s breasts, pressing them together, licking and sucking. She was on her side, and I was practically on top of her, nipping and wanton, my thigh in between hers.
I rubbed my leg along her wetness, using the friction to make her pant.
“Oh my God,” she whispered.
“You can call me Zia,” I said with a laugh. And then she wrapped her hand around my throat, forcing my face to hers, and kissed me hard. I increased the friction of my thigh.
When I slid my hand over her stomach and in between her legs to play with her clit and her heat, she shook before coming hard, the rapture of bliss on her face something I would never forget.
We kept kissing, playing, both of us watching our faces as we made each other come. We could barely catch our breath, both of us hot and needing.
When I ached, needing more, she slid her thigh along my heat, the friction enough to make me erupt.
And then we held each other, our bodies lazily pressed against one another, sweat-slick and sated.
“Wow,” I whispered, embarrassed.
Meredith laughed, kissed me on the forehead, and looked down at me. “That was my line.”
“I, um, I don’t usually do this on the first date,” I said, my body cooling as the awareness of our situation slid over me.
She frowned but nodded. “Me, either. But here we are.”
We kissed again, slowly, leisurely. We had nowhere to go, at least for the next few moments. So, I would simply savor.
Her fingers trailed over my breasts, over my scars, and I noticed she had a few of her own. But we didn’t talk about it.
There was no need. We could keep our secrets because this wasn’t serious. It couldn’t be. This was only a respite, an evening of moments.
When I started to doze off, I shook my head and let out a sigh, knowing that we both needed to clean up. And so, we stood up, and she slowly dressed, and I pulled on black lounge pants and a tank top, not bothering to put on my dress again.
“I wasn’t planning on this,” I said. “I thought we would have fun tonight, but I wasn’t planning on what happened tonight past dinner. I was supposed to heal, to find myself. I wasn’t supposed to find...I don’t know. Fun? Whatever this is.”
Meredith tilted her head as she buttoned up her pants and nodded. “Same here. So now what do we do?”
I swallowed hard. “I don’t know. But it seems that all I do these days is run, and I feel like running from this room right now will hurt.”
“I’m not ready for serious,” Meredith said quickly, staring at me as if willing me to understand.
And I did. Even though something broke inside me to think that, a slight pang that I ignored. I wasn’t ready for serious either, so her words shouldn’t hurt. And they didn’t. Not really. I was just caught up in the orgasms, and I hadn’t really focused yet.
“That’s fine with me. I promise. This was fun. And if we do it again, we can continue to have fun as friends. Until it’s time to walk away.”
I said the words as if I felt cold inside, as if I weren’t overwhelmed with emotion.
Relief spread across her face, and I tried not to take it personally.
“That sounds like a plan to me.” And then she leaned forward, cupped my face, and kissed me softly.
“Goodnight, Zia. I’ll see you across the fence.”
I smiled, trying to act as if my world hadn’t been rocked to its foundation, and watched her walk away, knowing I needed to escort her to the door but unable to move from the spot.
Because I had no idea what had happened tonight. What I did know was that something had changed, and I knew I had to pretend that it hadn’t.
For both our sakes.
Chapter 6
Meredith
* * *
“How dare you do this to me? Who the hell do you think you are? You deserve everything that ever happened to you, and I’m going to make sure more happens. Because you’re going to scream. You’re going to bleed. And you’re
going to miss everything that I ever gave you.”
Hands dug into my skin, pinched my flesh. Cold liquid splashed over my body, a towel over my face, water choking me. And then there were hands in my hair, tugging me towards the shower, forcing my face into the water again. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything.
And then I was awake, wondering how the hell I had let myself be like that again. How the hell I had let that dream come back.
I let out a shaky breath and looked down at my hands, knowing that they were mine and not the ones that attempted to kill me. That dared to try and hurt me.
I couldn’t quite believe that the dream had been so vivid, and yet I should. I should be used to the vividness of my demise. I had let it become my truth and reality when I was married to Ash. And now, I was dreaming about it.
Why? It had been months since I’d had a nightmare about him. Months where I had thought I was healthy again, thought I had found my truth and my healing.
Clearly, I had been wrong. So achingly wrong that I had to rush out of my bed at that moment and throw myself into the bathroom, down on my knees as I heaved up everything that I had left in my stomach—though there wasn’t much.
Sweat coated my body, and my hands shook, so I fisted them at my sides before pushing my hair back from my face. Then, I cleaned up after myself.
It had been a while since Ash had made me throw up.
Maybe I deserved this.
I had found a little bit of happiness, joy in this past month. So much that I didn’t understand how it had even happened.
I stood in the shower now, warm water sliding over my body, a stark contrast from my dream. This feeling was far different than the cold that had threatened to kill me before.
The sensation that Ash had loved when he tried to break me, screams ripping out of my throat, death coming.
It had been a month since I had first said yes to Zia. A month, and now I didn’t know how to breathe, didn’t know how to think.
Because this couldn’t be real, couldn’t be happening.
We were just having fun and would continue having fun. That was all she wanted, as well. I had to let my subconscious do its thing but not fall into that trap.
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