The Throwback List
Page 33
She looked up and found three people standing on the other side of the front window, fogging the glass and staring at her. Jo stepped outside cautiously, feeling their eyes follow her.
“Excuse me!” she heard the second she hit fresh air.
“I’m so sorry, this is so awkward—” said a girl with an extreme side part.
Jo opened her mouth, ready to tell the girl that she was not Meghan Markle. Cutting bangs had not helped her with this question, even though she was in Portland and never near a prince, a bodyguard, or children.
“Are you PhotogFreeman from Instagram?”
“Jo,” corrected one of the others.
Surprise momentarily overtook the confusion and fear of being approached by a stranger. She’d also never heard someone say her username out loud. “Yeah, that’s me.”
“We’re huge fans of your Instagram, the Throwback List, everything!” said the third friend. “What are you doing in Portland? Are you starting a new project? A new list?”
“Not yet,” Jo said.
“Other than your bu-jo, right?” asked Side Part. “I totally got addicted to bullet journal videos after that post where you recommended a bunch.”
“I still have my bullet journal,” Jo said. She patted her gym bag. “But all of my lists right now are regular to-dos and work stuff. I’m working here in town now.”
“Oh,” said Tall Friend, visibly disappointed. “We’re doing a doughnut crawl. Ana has always wanted to try every doughnut in Portland, so we decided to help her.”
“It’s a happiness honeypot!” Side Part squealed.
“What’s happier than doughnuts?” Jo asked.
“I’m the Bianca of the group,” said First Friend. Jo could not begin to imagine how Bianca would react to a skinny white girl thinking they were anything alike. “These two were besties in high school, but we met in college. Now we’re a trio! It’s basically the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“Everyone needs a crew,” Jo agreed. Her voice sounded hollow. She needed to eat lunch and make work calls. Her to-do lists were full, even if they weren’t packed with honeypots. “It was great meeting you all. I need to run.”
“Hope you post again soon!” said the Tall Friend, sounding like they didn’t believe she would.
The Jo of the group, then.
Jo hadn’t posted in weeks. She told her followers it was a hiatus. She knew it was closer to writer’s block. She didn’t know what came after the Throwback List.
Back in her furnished-by-someone-else apartment, she sat on the couch that smelled like cats. Rock Rockamore sat beside the TV, overlooking the living room she hadn’t made a mark on.
Jo checked her phone.
Autumn had a picture taken in front of her house of twenty plastic top hats on a drop cloth in the process of being spray-painted with gold glitter for the Chorus Line dance number in the Senior Showcase. The entire Broadway Club was going to perform in the finale, making it the first time underclassmen had been invited to perform in the Senior Showcase, which explained why Eden had a video that was just her and Orin chanting peripatetic, poetic, and chic over someone badly beatboxing.
Florencio had a group selfie with his wrestlers at their last practice of the school year. Apparently Flo gave a speech about each of his players at eighth-grade promotion.
Bianca posted a video of Lita seeing the new upstairs office for the first time. Yesterday, the group chat had received the behind-the-scenes photo of Cruz carrying Lita up the stairs, everyone in the shop trailing behind. Lita’s verdict was that the new office was very pretty and too fancy to do real tattoos. She was interested in seeing how Bee’s new eyebrows healed up, though. So far, microblading seemed like a clean-brow miracle.
Jo wanted to call Bianca and tell her about the “Bianca of the group” white girl, but she didn’t know what today’s Lita schedule was and didn’t want to interrupt. She wanted to hear about how the Broadway Club rehearsals were going now that membership had expanded to almost twenty kids. Their last recording of 9 to 5 had been a blur of heaven hands.
I’d rather be at home, Jo thought, not thinking of an apartment or California.
She got in the car and drove toward the ocean.
PhotogFreeman: Sandy Point, Oregon. A town you could mistake for forgettable. The boonies on the way to the Goonies house. Where the ocean is part of the sky and the trees are taller than the buildings. Where my dreams were written on the walls because people who loved me gave me walls and stars to wish on.
The Throwback List is done. I know that younger me would be proud.
I know now how much of her I carry in my heart. And I know how much of my heart I leave behind when I’m not here. The ultimate happiness honeypot is coming home to the people you love.
And I’m home.
#TheThrowbackList
THE ACKNOWLEDGMENTS LIST
Kieran Viola
Britt Rubiano
Heather Crowley
Laura Zats
Hannah Gómez
Leanna Keyes
Lara Ruark
Tyler Torres
Dad & Nil
The Harbor Family
Tehlor Kay Mejia
Elizabeth Flambert
Erin Duffey
Stephen Sondheim
LILY ANDERSON is the author of The Only Thing Worse Than Me Is You; Not Now, Not Ever; and Undead Girl Gang. A former school librarian, she is deeply devoted to Shakespeare, fairy tales, and podcasts. Somewhere in Northern California, she is having strong opinions on musical theater. Find her online at www.mslilyanderson.com.