High Tide

by Michelle Mankin

  “Not call it off. Just keep it secret.”

  “Everyone who’s close to me will be in his sights.” Why hadn’t I thought of this before? “Fanny. Ash. Ernie. You.”

  “I’m not afraid of Samuel Lesowski.”

  “You should be. I am. He told me . . .” I swallowed hard and began again. “The things he said, they were really bad. Maybe I should call it off.”

  “Do you really think he will stop trying to destroy you if you back down?”

  I froze, so suddenly cold inside that chill bumps popped out all over my skin. “He won’t. What I do or don’t do doesn’t matter. He’s decided on his course of action.”

  Olivia nodded. “That’s what I believe too.”

  “How can we be proactive against that?”

  “I have a few ideas.”

  “Good.” I rubbed my upper arms. “I certainly have none.” It was all I could do to stay put. Everything in me said get up and run. Fighting back just got me slammed down.

  As if sensing my thoughts, Olivia leaned forward. Reaching across the table, she put her hand on my knee, and I covered it with mine.

  “If you’re willing,” she said, her eyes soft but her expression hard, “we’re going to be more than proactive. We’re going to hit him before he hits us. Can you help me do that?”

  I nodded.

  “Tell me everything you know about him. Business contacts. Liaisons. Those he’s wronged. Those he hates. What he fears. Who he fears. Weaknesses we can exploit. Strengths we can undermine. All of it.”

  My eyes widened. My agent wasn’t just a badass. Olivia was the badass.

  “We’re not just going to battle Samuel. We’re going to war.”

  In that moment, I knew what I had to do, and I knew when I had to do it.

  This morning, I’d woken rested, happier than I could remember being since my mother’s death, and I’d been looking forward to the party next week. Now I dreaded it.

  An all-out war meant collateral damage. If I intended to hurt Samuel, I had to go after what he valued—money and prestige. He definitely intended to hurt me. It wasn’t a question. And he certainly knew where he could hurt me the most.

  He would go after Fanny.

  I couldn’t allow that to happen. He had to think she didn’t matter to me anymore. I had to distance myself from her, from all the people I cared about.

  Publicly.

  My sister first. The Dirt Dogs and my new friends in Ocean Beach, if I could manage to alienate them at the same time in a way that seemed believable. Ernie eventually. Then Olivia.

  And Max . . .

  “Not we.” I curled my fingers into tight fists. “Me.” I firmed my gaze on my agent. “I’m going to war.”

  “Hollie.” Olivia took off her glasses. “You can’t fight him alone.”

  “I have to. Don’t you see?” Pressure built behind my eyes from the threat of tears. “He’s out to destroy me, and the best way to do that is to hurt those I care about. He says I was a loner in school. And I was. Because I had my mother for a lot of that time. And I had Fanny.”

  “Maybe—”

  “No maybe. He’ll do something terrible to her. To Ash. To those friends you mentioned that I’m fortunate to have, the ones who would come running at a moment’s notice if I asked. I can’t ask. I have to make them think I would never ask. Make Samuel think that too.”

  I stuffed my fears deep down inside my heart, where I would put all my feelings for those I cared about. Fear of my stepfather, fear that I wouldn’t win, fear that I wasn’t brave enough.

  “How do you think you can protect them if he’s so determined?”

  “I become the bitch he’s portrayed me to be. Shallow. Superficial. Spoiled. Self-centered.”

  It would have to be the performance of my life.

  Olivia stared at me for a long moment, then gave me a nod. “It might work. He won’t be expecting it. He’ll think you’re going to try to refute the things he’s said about you, not embody them. The tricky part will be fooling him while not damaging your credibility in the courtroom.”

  She put her glasses back on and swiped her fingers across the display of her iPad. “We’ll need to get you out in the public eye as soon as possible. I have you scheduled on LA Live at noon.”

  “That’s a local talk show.”

  “Yes. A hairdresser and makeup artist are on their way. Ernie too, with some outfits. But I’ll need to call them all. Tell them the look we have in mind has changed.”

  “I’ll call them.” I sat forward, my vision wavering as tears burned in my eyes. “I’ll take care of things today. I’ll need a name for a new agent, though.” I swallowed so I could continue without letting a sob escape. “Someone who will fit my new image. Someone I can trust to keep my secrets. Someone you recommend.”

  Olivia lowered her glasses to the tip of her nose. “That’s me, Hollie.”

  “No.”

  “Yes. You won’t change my mind. You can’t be someone you’re not 24/7, especially someone so polar opposite to who you really are. There’s not anyone I could recommend. It’s me. And you. We can argue about this, or we can get to work.”

  Intensely relieved, I let out a shaky breath. “We get to work.”

  “Right.” Olivia lowered her head, and her nails clacked on the screen. “Lots of shopping. Rodeo Drive. Wherever the paparazzi are today, so you can be seen. Then a show with national reach this week.”

  “Thank you. You’re incredible.” I reached over the coffee table and touched her hand.

  “You’re welcome.” She glanced to the side and gestured to the door. “What are you going to do about Maximillian Cash?”

  “Shut him out. Shut this down. He’s too nice a guy to ask to perpetrate a lie.”

  “It might not be that easy. You might have to let him go.”

  “I know. I just . . . I can’t. I mean, I can if I have to, but I have to lose my sister this week. And the rest of my support network. He makes me feel . . . secure. I’d like to keep him, that feeling, as long as I can.”

  It would be barely a truth. A thin reality. Thin ice that could likely crack beneath me at any moment. But that would be what I would have.

  That and little else.

  “Darling.” Ernie breezed into the room, several garment bags thrown over his arm, and air-kissed both of my freshly cosmetically blushed cheeks.

  Foundation. Eyeshadow. Eyelash extensions. Lipstick. More makeup than I usually wore, but then I was doing more than an interview today. As soon as I stepped outside the hotel, I would pause to be photographed by the paparazzi who had been hanging around the hotel since I checked in.

  “How are you, love?” My best friend draped the outfits for us to choose from over the back of the couch, turned to put both his hands on my arms, and squeezed reassuringly.

  “I’m fine.” I pasted on a wobbly smile.

  I wanted to throw my arms around his neck for a hug, but I had a black protective cape draped around my body, and an invisible one that I would have to find the strength to wear every day to keep him and every person I cared for a non-comforting distance away.

  “You’re holding up admirably, but you’re far from fine.” He shook his head. His artful arrangement of coppery hair didn’t move an inch, but his gaze softened considerably. “We’ll talk later.”

  Ernie studied me a moment, then lifted his gaze to the hairdresser standing behind me. She was a professional, and handled the interruption without even pulling my hair.

  “No curls. Put her hair up, darling. A chignon, with a couple of loose spirals to soften. Classy chic, not beach-curls casual.”

  “Yes, Mr. Caballero.”

  “Perfect.” He peered at me a moment longer as she gathered and lifted long strands of my hair. “The makeup is glamorous, but artful, not overdone. You look mid-twenties, practically legal.”

  “Thank you, I think.”

  He flopped on the cushion beside me and turned his head to give me a f
irm look. “I’m going with you today.”

  “That won’t be necessary.”

  I glanced at Olivia. She was on her cell, and had been on it the entire time the makeup artist and hairdresser had been transforming me.

  Olivia shook her head at me. She wasn’t going to help me distance myself from Ernie. It was up to me.

  I pulled in a breath. “Ernie . . .”

  “Ran into your bodyguard out in the hall. He checked my ID. He knows who I am, but still he was very thorough about it. Seems your safety’s pretty important to him.”

  Ernie gave me another investigatory glance. He was trying to figure out if I had taken his advice. I wanted to confide in him. But I couldn’t.

  “He told me to stick tight to you today.” Two faint vertical creases formed between Ernie’s brows. “Made a point of it. Now, why would he do that if he’s going to be protecting you? Could it be that he knows you’re upset by the rumors flying around about you and Samuel? But if you were, you would’ve called and talked to me about it.”

  He lifted a brow. I opened my mouth to offer an excuse, but he didn’t give me a chance.

  “We had a conversation just yesterday. Seems to me you promised not to shut me out anymore.”

  I closed my eyes. I was going to do more than shut him out. I had to send him away.

  Ernie touched my knee. I tried to find the words I needed, but I couldn’t see any way to accomplish my mission without making him hate me.

  “Ow!” I opened my eyes, tears rising in them. “You pinched me.” I rubbed my knee.

  “I did. You want more of that?” He narrowed his long-lashed eyes at me.

  I shook my head.

  “I’m going with you downtown. I’ll drive. Best friends stick together, understand?”

  Flattening my lips, I nodded.

  “All done, Miss Wood.” The hairdresser started putting away her things.

  “It’s official now, the last-name change, huh?” Ernie asked.

  “Not legal officially yet, but it’s what people recognize, so we’re going with it. Don’t make fun.” I swiveled and punched him a little harder than a play punch.

  “Ow! You dominatrix.” His eyes sparkled.

  “You deserved it.”

  “So did you.”

  “Children. Enough.” Olivia stood and straightened nonexistent wrinkles from her calf-length narrow skirt. “We need to get going.” She turned to the hairdresser and handed her a wad of cash. “Thank you, Belinda. Excellent job, as always.”

  Turning to Ernie, she lifted a brow. “You driving us in your car?”

  “Yes, for sure.”

  “Did you valet?”

  He nodded.

  “Call for it.”

  While he moved to the hotel phone, she turned to me. “Makeup and hair look good. Let’s see our wardrobe choices.” She unzipped the top bag and shook her head. “No. Too sexy.”

  “But she’d look amazing in it,” Ernie protested with the receiver at his ear and his valet ticket stub in his hand.

  “No red.” She clucked her tongue at him. “Absolutely not. Not assertive enough.”

  She tossed the top bag aside and moved to the next. After unzipping it all the way, she discarded it. “Too romantic.”

  There was only one left. I gnawed my lip.

  “Exactly right,” she said, spreading open the plastic wrapping and withdrawing the outfit as Ernie rejoined us.

  “All right.” I took the hanger with the creamy white two-piece garment on it from her and brought it to my chest. “I’ll go to the bedroom and put it on.”

  “I’ll help you.” Ernie fell into step behind me.

  “Good.” My throat tightened.

  The time had come for me to push him away. I tried to comfort myself with the thought that at least I would get to do it in private.

  “It looks complicated,” I said, both the fastening on the dress and the unraveling of my friend from my life.

  “It has a hidden zipper.”

  “Oh shit.” His mention of something hidden reminded me. “Max.” I stopped in my tracks.

  Not Max, that was over too, but one loss at a time. It was all I could handle.

  “I’ll call him in.” Her tone and expression uncharacteristically gentle with understanding, Olivia pointed with her head. “Get a move on. Get dressed. Pick some shoes. I need to see it all together, then we need to go. We’re short on time. I’ll explain the day’s itinerary to Mr. Cash.”

  “Thank you.” I sagged with relief.

  Later. I could put off what needed to be done with him until later.

  “So . . .” Ernie let that word hang in the air as soon as he slid the door closed. “Let’s talk. I get the impression the need to know specifics doesn’t include your bodyguard.”

  I nodded once. It didn’t include Ernie anymore either. Pressure built behind my eyes.

  “Spill,” my bestie insisted.

  “It would be better if I didn’t. Better for you to walk away from all my drama right now.”

  “If I didn’t love you, maybe. But I do. And I’m not afraid of a little drama. It adds flavor to my otherwise dull life.”

  “Your life is not dull. You are a handsome sexy man with a loving partner, and you’re a sought-after stylist with many well-placed connections in our industry.” Yet another reason to send him away. “If you tried, you could get your job back with—”

  “I don’t want that job. I want to be with you, darling.”

  “Being with me isn’t a good deal for you. Not right now.”

  And maybe not ever. Couldn’t he tell how dire things were? If there was a bright dawn on the other side of this storm, I couldn’t see it.

  Ernie gave me an assessing look. “So Samuel’s saying a bunch of horrible things. The people who truly care for you know it’s not true.”

  “They’re probably the only ones. He’s convincing.”

  “Hardly. He has a reputation.”

  “To those inside the industry.”

  “Yes, but doubts have been planted in the public eye. There are a breadth of charges. But enough about him. He doesn’t factor with us if we don’t let him. Let me help you with your dress.”

  Ernie reached for me, and when I stepped away, he frowned.

  “I need to do this myself.” Hugging the garment to my chest to cover my heart like a shield, I brandished a weapon I didn’t want to against my friend. “I need to do a lot of things by myself.”

  “Okay,” he said slowly, angling his head to the side.

  “You are my dear friend.” My eyes filled.

  “But . . .” He gave me a curious look, prompting me when I faltered.

  “But I’m going to go in a new direction. A different direction style wise. Olivia makes the choices, like she did just now. It’s decided.”

  His eyes narrowed. “You left me out of that decision-making process once again.”

  “Yes. This won’t work, Ernie. I’m sorry. Not past today.”

  I saw the flicker of hurt in his eyes. Just a flicker, but loving him like I did, the cut I gave him sliced me deeper than him.

  “I’ll see that you’re credited on the show. The Alluring people love your designs. They’ll be calling you, and a myriad of other opportunities will open to you.”

  I swallowed to moisten my throat. His expression had grown cold.

  “I love you.” I shouldn’t say those words, but I had to tell him, had to soften the blow. Who knew when I would get another chance to tell him? “I will always love you. But we’re too close to work together.”

  “That’s your final decision.”

  “Yes.”

  “I know what you’re doing,” he said, and although I shook my head, he kept going. “You’re afraid you’re going to lose. You’re protecting me.”

  I neither confirmed nor denied it.

  “I’m disappointed in you, Hollie. After all the years we’ve been friends, this is twice now you’ve drawn a line and put me
on the other side of it.”

  I had. He was right, whatever my reasons, however noble I thought they were.

  Drawing his shoulders back, Ernie said, “Well, I can draw a line too.”

  “I wish you wouldn’t.” My voice was strained.

  “Sometimes you have to protect yourselves from the ones who can hurt you the most. We both know that.”

  “We do.”

  Our fathers were similar. Stepfathers. Ernie’s had never accepted his career choice or his sexual orientation.

  “And you have nothing more to say to me,” he said. “No explanation other than this. When you and I both know there’s more.”

  I nodded somberly, tightening my hold on the outfit, holding back both my affection for him and the words that would keep him in my life.

  “Then the line’s drawn. On my side now too.” His frown deepened, and his eyes, shining with hurt of his own, became hard as stone. “Get yourself downtown. Get yourself where you need to after that.”

  Tears rose, gathering in my eyes. “Okay,” I whispered.

  Ernie watched me a beat longer. “I would’ve gone with you to the end of the world. Done anything for you.” He gestured around the room. “This stuff, it’s garbage without the right people beside you. I thought you knew that.”

  I did. But I kept silent because I loved him to the end of the world and back. And I wanted better for him than to get dragged down into the murky depths with Samuel and me.

  My gaze landed on Max when I emerged from the bedroom. He was getting dressed in the living room since I’d closed the door to the bedroom. His khakis were partially unzipped, one of his hands shoved down the front to tuck his shirttail in.

  My spine tingled as our gazes connected, and I recalled the warmth of his skin, the hardness of his body, and the peace I’d found in his arms a short while ago.

  “Are you okay?” He took a step toward me as I stumbled.

  The high heels felt awkward on my feet. After weeks of flip-flops and casual wear, I’d forgotten how to navigate over plush carpeting in spiky heels.

  But it was more. My hands had been trembling since Ernie left. I felt so adrift, couldn’t seem to focus, and had lingered for far too long on deciding which pair of stilettos to wear.